I left my stomach in Billy Bombers......

And indeed I did. After a dinner with the FWFCers consisting of mainly burgers and fries ( what I call an Atkins' Nightmare ) and a vanilla milkshake to boot. Uggggghhhhhhh..........

Well, if I'm suffering now from indigestion, at least I suffered for a good reason. ( Can you imagine getting indigestion from, say, too much limpy lettuce leaves?? Bad enough you have to eat those things, but that you'd get indigestion from them as well??? )

*BURP* Excuse me.......

And thank ye, for the [usual] kino vouchers and the 2 CDs. :) :) :) Your vouchers will go towards the Harry Potter 6 Fund and the Keane CD is amazing....... the lyrics are.... comfortable. The sort of songs that you make you feel like you're trapped in a lovers' caress, lying on a soft bed of grass with endless blue skies above you.

Sigh............ I miss Europe........ again........

Currently listening to: Untitled 1

A house on fire
A wall of stone
A door that once was open
An empty face and empty bones

Who ate your heart?
You're cold inside
You're not the one I hoped for
I'll see you on the other side
I'll see you on the other side

If only life was such that I could do nothing but lay in endless sleep, with this music constantly in my ears...

Life at 30

For lack of any tangible event in my life to blog about, let's try thinking of weird stuff, the kind of stuff that pops up in your head but is quickly dismissed with a thought. [If nothing, it'll help me to hone my writing skills...] Today's thought that's been floating around in my head is: What if all of us died at 30?

Firstly, let's define this more clearly. Let's take it that humans have always died at 30. Every generation since Adam dies on the last day of their 30th year on Earth. [This takes away the scenario where everyone from our generation onwards dies at the age of 30] What kind of society would have evolved from this?

Children would mature earlier, in order to lengthen the number of childbearing days they have on earth. Hence, most likely our kids would reach puberty at say, 10, giving them 20 years to give birth to and raise their kids to a suitable adult age. Early developers would reach puberty at 8.

Premarital sex would be encouraged, and approved of. Considering that each human only has on average 20 years of childbearing years, all efforts have to be undertaken in order to make sure the population maintains itself. Thus, humans will multiply like rabbits. We'd become parents at 12, grandparents at 24, and hopefully, before we die, see our great-grandchildren at 29.

Would there still be menopause? Most likely not, since it would reduce the childbearing years of a woman. [I'm assuming that the human body here dies at the peak of their physical health, rather than a rapid degeneration]

How would this affect society in general? The rate of change of society would be even higher, since new generations of humans are being produced every 12 or so years. Our values, our ideals would change at a greater rate than now. The societal structures and hierarchies we have now might not exist in such a society, since some, like the monarchy of England, have survived, well, ever since there was an England. They could do this because there was long enough time to indoctrinate an entire generation to their ideals. Here, there wouldn't be enough time, because there won't be time to properly brainwash each generation to their ideals, and the founders would die off long before they had the chance to firmly entrench their ideals.

The rate of technological innovation would not likely be high. Some of our scientific innovations took their inventors years of tireless research in order to achieve. Without the time needed to complete their research, it is likely that these scientists would not see many of their research realized. Our society may linger longer in the Middle Ages because of this lack of change.

However, at the same time, this slow rate of change would be balanced by the fast rate of change in other sectors. Since humans have a much shorter lifespan in this world, it is likely that they will go all out to achieve their dreams, since it is clear that the time they have to do so is severely limited. Children will be taught independence from an early age, and will start chasing their goals early.

Mental, intellectual and emotional development will also be accelerated. Being independent from a young age forces young kids to quickly learn to take care of themselves, and to hurriedly choose their goals in life and work towards achieving them. Life suddenly becomes all that much more precious, because of its lack of it.

Would it be a better world? Not necessarily. But it will be different.

It's getting hot in here...

I wish it was the hot as referred to in the song, but unfortunately......

Anyone notice the heat these few days? Put up all those sweaty hands, everyone. After the torrential monsoons we had in place of snow during last Dec/Jan, we now welcome the tropical version of summer.

Unfortunately, the tropics are already hot right? So what happens when you add extra heat on top of that? *pant pant pant*

For those who spend the whole day in the air-conditioned comfort of your offices ( Or alternatively, the artic wasteland of your offices ) you probably don't feel the heat as much as I do. The sun bakes me to a golden crispy brown every day I walk outside, the same crispy brown that our grass is turning into. There goes the green Singapore that the gahmen is so proud of.

As I walk to my tuition kid's house in the afternoon, I feel my skin shrivelling and cracking, each individual skin cell combusting and dying in the presence of such intense heat. And unlike Perth ( Where the Slayer arrived to 40deg heat ) the humidity just loves it. Everytime you leave the house, all those greedy little moisture molecules in the air run to you like piranhas to a leg of ham.

Air-con is no comfort. Because if you walk into aircon immediately from the heat, the sudden drop in temperature makes you reel, and gives you headaches. Ok, for me anyway. So your head throbs the whole time you're in the aircon. Then when you go out into the heat again, your skull will suddenly decide to expand and you get a bruce-banner-to-hulk headache.

And indeed in such circumstances, I feel myself undergoing a hulk-like transformation. With my afternoon kid, I'm dullish and drowsy in the heat ( "For the rest of the lesson, write your compo" ) For my evening kid, I'm snappish and irritable ( "NO! FOR CRUX'S SAKE NO! THAT'S NOT A REFLECTION!!!" ) [note: I say 'crux' because it's not nice to swear in front of kids. I leave you guys to guess what word that could be]

And when back home, it's straight to the shower. Aaaaaaaaaaa................

Ironically enough, all that heat in the afternoon means that the night is really cool, and dry, like the whole of Singapore is under airconditioning. So now I feel clean, dry and comfortable. *sigh*

Why can't it be like that in the afternoon? ( Miss London summers... )

Internet is slow....... No one's updating blogs or comics..... sigh...... Maybe the heat has sucked everyone's inspiration......

Of hearts, bouquets, and.. biscuits?

2 whole days to blog about... Phew... bear with me people...

So I think I told most of you the joke about what I was gonna do on V-day. Yes, I had a date with a guy. He's 12 and needed help in his English. :p

Then on that day itself, I GOT STOOD UP. And he had to get his MOTHER to do it for him. *tragic pose* Oh how sad my life can get... when even my tuition kid doesn't want to see me on Valentine's Day...

[Slayer's theory is that maybe the kid himself had a date, but I doubt my life has become THAT sad]

So suddenly my plans to escape all the sickly, lovey dovey on V-day with my tuition got dashed, and my night was suddenly free, and vulnerable to the innumerable roses and heart-shaped balloons crowding the streets.

I ended up in town with the Slayer first, walking and shopping, while thinking of as many songs about breakups, men-who-are-jerks, love-hurts songs we could. Instead of buying roses to console myself, I ended up with a whole buncha books instead. [unfortunately, the MPH in J8 is closing down and all their books were 30% off. There went my CNY takings.......] Most apt to the occassion was the one Slayer insisted on getting for me for my birthday:



"It's very inspirational! I swear my life was changed when I read this book!"

Uh huh. I think my friend is trying to give me some kindly advice about Dragonfly......

We shopped at Kino, borders and Times while looking for her elusive US weekly, [Times bookshop has 20% off all books for Roosters upon producing valid ID. Just digressing] so I also ended up buying a coupla books. Bleah. Call it a form of monetary consolance for V-day, and at least the books will last a lot longer than a buncha roses.

After that, was dinner with Candle [many thanks for blowing off your colleagues to meet me. Heh.] and then coffee at Coffee Bean Scotts. You'd think that in Scotts, we'd be able to avoid the throngs of dovey-eyed lovers walking up and down Orchard. NO LOR. They still entered Scotts to show off their obscene bunches of floral vaginas in our faces. [Er, if you're wondering why I wrote that, you'd really have to watch the Bachelor, the movie starring Chris O'Donnell.] I enviously watched the women walking in with their significant others, until, GOSH!

Enter: Woman with this HUGE bouquet, that was bigger than her head. And that's not an exaggeration. It was a HUGE bouquet, and had roses, lilies, and a whole lot of other flowers sticking out of a bed of baby's breath, lovingly wrapped with pink and white paper. And of course she was with a guy.

GOSH. BITCH. KONO KUSO ONNA. My grapes became so sour they shrivelled into raisins, and then internally combusted into wine. I suddenly became filled with an urge to water her roses with my double vanilla ceylon latte.

"Wait!" Candle stopped me just as I was picking up my glass "Look at the guy! He's totally NOT CUTE LOR!" And it was true. The girl was pretty. The guy...... well, she could do a whole lot better.

"Well," I shrugged "There must be something she sees in him then."

"Ya, his wallet. That kind of bouquet so big, not cheap leh!"

Hence the hypothesis was formed: That there is an inverse correlation between the size of a girl's bouquet, and the standard of looks of the guy who gave them. I.e, the uglier the guy, the bigger the bouquet of the girl.

Upon testing our hypothesis upon our sample population, [4 other couples who walked into Scotts] we nodded solemnly to each other, and agreed that the hypothesis had been proven. Significantly better-looking guys would be more likely to present women with smaller and smaller bouquets, or even a single stalk of rose.

Explanations for this could be that the less certain the guy was of impressing the girl with his looks, the more he had to make up for it through the things he could buy for her. Hence, the more gifts from a guy to a girl, the more he is uncertain of himself, and the more insecure he is of his chances that the girl with stay with him.

WELL DONE. Hypothesis proven. More research could be done with other products, say chocolates, money, sex....

Ok, let's forget about V-day now....

The next day, [or rather today] had to wake up early to send Slayer and folks to airport, and then wait for Mother to return from Australia. [thankfully, no traffic jams, road accidents, schoolkids running in front of my car, or her parents getting heart attacks in my backseat due to my driving. I even managed to open the car boot. :p]

Mother came back with a bunch of stuff and news from Australia. Grandfolks are fine and well, thank goodness, and there were some goodies passed on to me.

First came the dolphin stuff. Even though my dolphin liking was in, say JC, my mother still firmly had it fixed in her mind that when it came to jewellery, they had to get something with dolphins in it for me, and together with my grandma hunted the jewellery store from top shelf to discount bin hunting for something with dolphins in it, coming up with the following:


A dolphin brooch.


A necklace and matching bracelet.

And then the usual TIM-TAMS!!! 2 new packs of Tia Maria [Convulsing in chocolatey anticipation] and a bunch of Arnott's biscuits, the type with the cream fillings in the middle.

Plus an ang pow from Grandma to make up for the losses incurred at MPH's closing down sale. Although now that I have it, I'm tempted to go back there again. Heeeeeee.............

And other strange things: A leg of ham, for an aunt who's apparently very fond of it, [Ham! of all things!] and a carton of salted eggs for mom, made on the day that she left. [i'm surprised the eggs even made it here uncracked] Then Grandma's FRIDGE MAGNET COLLECTION of all things, because she was gonna throw them away anyway, so she gave them to mom.

And you guys saw the boots I wore for CNY to Quet's house? My mom bought cowboy-like boots there for TWICE THE PRICE. And she said it was CHEAP for those kinda boots. Good heavens...........

And typical of her, one of the first things she said upon entering the kitchen:

"Clean the sink later on! The dirt around the hole got a lot ah!"

Sigh. Welcome back, Mummy.

The Bitter Single's Guide to Vday...

All gals who are single, whether by choice or circumstance, this v-day. Don't you wish you could just crawl up and die? On this fateful feast of St Valentine's, the whole world is celebrating their joyful union with another human being... and you're like the plug that can't find a socket to fit in.

Fret and cry no more. Aki brings you her 10 ways of surviving this V-day:

1) Wear T-shirts with the slogan "80% of all new relationships lead to breakups" and "50% of all marriages end in divorce" and walk around Orchard/Suntec/other potential places where couples may hang out

2) Gather a bunch of other bitter single female friends, choose a restaurant conveniently packed with doe-eyed couples, and proceed to have a loud, rowdy conversation about the jerks that were your exes, and how all men are scum. [actually a group of us did do something like this one year at Suntec, only the conversation revolved around blood, gore and bleeding, and more of us were single then]

3) If you're in the office, and your colleagues are raving over the huge, beautiful ( And hence expensive ) bouquets being sent to them, look over the bouquets, say in a baleful tone, "That's what my ex did before I caught him with THAT SLUT!!!!!" and then start crying uncontrollably. Hopefully your excess tears will have the bonus effect of drowning all those damn roses.

4) Stay at home, watch a movie like Rambo or some action flick with plenty of blood, gore and shooting ( Alternatively, a movie like Days of the Dead may work ) and imagine the faces of happy couples interimposed on all those bodies.

5) Dress sexily, and declare yourself lesbian for this night. If you're not having any luck with the men, maybe you'd have better luck with the women.

6) Go on a shopping spree at a sex shop. If you're not having any luck with the men, maybe you'd do better with yourself. ;p

7) Form a formidable group of bitter single females, who will hog the phonelines to the radio stations the whole day, so as to make sure only breakup songs and bitter love songs will get played, instead of the usual nauseating romantic boyband crap.

8) Sell poisoned roses and laxative-filled chocolates in town and other couple waiting spots. Then cackle when you see all those hapless males waiting for ages outside the female toilets.

9) Stalk your prey at favourite waiting spots like City Hall MRT station. Once you spot a particularly nauseating couple, run up to the guy, and scream in his face, "So THIS is what you mean by working overtime at the office on Valentine's day??? YOU BASTARD!!!! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!!!" And run away sobbing, hiding behind a convenient pillar so that you can watch the fun.

and the mother of them all......

10) Stand quietly in one spot until you have made sure that there are enough lovey couples around you. Then suddenly scream at the top of your lungs "ARGH!!!!! I CAN"T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!" and run around bashing up the guys with the bouquets they were about to give, screaming "I HATE YOU!!! I HATE YOU!!! I HATE YOU!!!" Alternatively, you may bring along your own baseball bat for this purpose.

Disclaimer: The author takes no responsibility for any bitter single female that does any of the above.

Hehehe... strangely therapeutic in a way to write such an article.... :p and to attached friends: Don't worry, I won't be hanging around town today. Hahaha...

I actually went to church this Sunday with Dragonfly and despite Hellbound's warnings, NO, lightning from Heaven did not strike me for having licentious thoughts. A few interesting points:

1. I learned that possibly half my old secondary school ( and one guy from his primary school ) goes to Risen Christ. As we were walking in, it was "Hi!" "Hi!" and "Hi!" all around. Well, at least this is not the group that is likely to spread the usual "Who's that guy she's with?" stories around, look at him with curious, mischievous glances or grill him about the exact standing of our relationship. [unlike the reaction I would get from, oh say, someone named after a waxy, light-giving device?]

2. I also learned that this lenten season, the new fashion for Catholics is SIN. That's right, sin. I sin, you sin, he sins, she sins, they sin, we all sin. We are all stinkin', despicable sinners who are unworthy of the great blessings bestowed upon us. Repent now, all thee sinners, so that thou may have a chance of licking the Blessed Toenail.

Ho boy, now THAT is likely to get me struck by lightning.... but really, the sermon was a little too Old Testament for me...

3. Risen Christ has now dispensed with the usual paper books for hymns and missals, and every word during the mass is now projected upon the cathedral walls with state of the art projectors, using powerpoint slides. And, this is coming from him, mind you, in the slide used for the Holy Communion, the wafer that's supposed to represented the Body of Christ looks like a half eaten hamburger.

Keke that's all for now.... Gotta go now... will blog again if I do make it through this love-puking day.

Love Quizzes Explain All

What do you do when you don't know what you're doing wrong with your love life, and you need cheap, free advice to help you?

You go on an online quiz rampage. Mwahahahha...... [thanks to krystal for starting me off on the first one. :p ]

Firstly, what's wrong with me? What am I like in the eyes of men?

Men See You As Choosy Men notice you light years before you notice them You take a selective approach to dating, and you can afford to be picky You aren't looking for a quick flirt - but a memorable encounter It may take men a while to ask you out, but it's worth the wait How Do Men See You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

So who are all these guys noticing me light years before I notice them? [cease with the obvious rejoinders, please]

So guys.... quick ask me out... it'll be a memorable encounter... You won't regret it, because:

Guys Like That You're Sensitive And not in that "cry at a drop of a hat" sort of way You just get most guys - even if you're not trying to Guys find it is easy to confide in you and tell you their secrets No wonder you tend to get close quickly in relationships! What Do Guys Like About You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

See? I have my attractive points. :p Come on, guys, I'm a good catch... I'm the:

You Are A Professional Girlfriend! You are the perfect girlfriend - big surprise! Heaven knows you've had enough practice. That's why you're a total pro. If there was an Emily Post of girlfriends, it would be you. You know how to act in every situation ... to make both you and your guy happy. What Kind Of Girlfriend Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Ironic considering I've never had any practice at this... I must be a natural! I was made to be attached!

But something's wrong somewhere.... Why am I still single? It's because:

You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Shy When a guy gets to know you, he finds a great catch Problem is... you're too shy for most guys to get to know. From meeting someone to dating, you usually have your guard up. And while you're just holding back, it makes you seem like you've got something to hide. Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

No wonder I'm still dokushin. Blardy kitanai.

And through this I realised: MY ONLY HOPE IS WITH YOU GUYS. HELP ME!!!!!!

You'll Find Love Through Friends Your friends get you better than any guy ever has And they're the perfect people to introduce you to your soulmate So look and act you're best with them, even if it's a girl's night out You never know who they might find for you! Where Will You Find Love? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

There you are. My entire love life summed up in 5 online quizzes. :p


As an aside, further evidence that I'm Aki Onna:

You Are Fall! Thoughtful Expressive Creative Poetic Smart What Season Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Gong xi, gong xi, gong xi ni......

Most of you guys won't see this till Friday, when all the visiting's done, but:



Happy Chinese New Year! We all know there's only one thing on our minds during this time of year, and the chinese word says it all .... hehehe...

Hope everyone's CNY was peachy and prosperous! Today's the 2nd day and I'm stuck at home wondering what to do. :( The thing is that CNY is only fun when you have loads of relatives and friends to visit. If you come from a family like mine, when all the visiting can be done in the 1st day....... gee that doesn't leave much for you to do on the 2nd does it??

And you can't just jio people out to hang, cos almost all the shops will be closed. So the only places left to visit are.... The River Hongbao, Chinatown and the Istana. X( X( X(

Haiz...... looks like I'll be spending today reading and sketching..... Look out next week for a short comic on how my CNY was.....

Plus: Final Fantasy 12 promotional website is out! Check out the artwork........ *salivate upon keyboard* Be warned though, the entire darned website is in Japanese, so just go straight to the trailers and download the English one if you're interested. The main lead looks like someone from a past FF no?

And speaking of Japanese:

You Should Date A Japanese Guy! You're an interesting blend of traditonal and modern And a Japanese guy is likely to be on your wavelength Maybe you'll show your love by dying your hair the same color Or get married in a traditional white kimono! Which Foreign Guy Should You Date? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Um, nandayo? Singapore naka ni doushite nihonjin o mitsukeru??? ( Ok I know the grammar is a bit wrong, but it's too early in the morning to be thinking about Japanese grammar...... )

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

*Shameless Self-Promotion Time*
I have a new GTS cartoon up. Mite kudasai, if you haven't seen it already. The link is to the right.

Some people are wondering why I don't make more of an impactful entry with GTS, like have her kick the door down or something on her first day. Er........ part of the reason has to do with the character herself.

*Blast to the past....*

GTS is supposed to be a reformed ex-gangster. From the first few strips, ( If you guys have seen them. If not, shame on you... hahaha ) you'll know that she became a teacher at her alma mater, where unfortunately for her, the principal remembers the holy terror that she used to be, and has other plans for her teaching career.

Now the thing is, if you're a gangster, why the hell would you ever go into a career like teaching? Thus, I planned her character such that she's a reformed one. As in, she used to be involved in gangster activities, until, for reasons yet unknown, she left the secret society world and became a productive ( and abused ) member of society.

For this reason... she is naturally reluctant to do anything that might endanger that career path or let known the fact of what she used to be.

Unfortunately for her, future events may cause her gangster nature to come out again...... ( That's a hook for you guys to start reading it or continue reading. )

by the way, may I once again emphasize that this cartoon is loosely, VERY LOOSELY based on the original GTS only. She is NOT an ex-gangster, neither does she act much like the character in my strip.

Ok, shameless self-promotion time over. Have a nice day everyone. :p

( I have to admit though, my favourite strip at the moment happens to be the one where the bucket is on GTS' head. For some reason, I just like the idea of dumping a bucket full of water onto an unsuspecting teacher's head. Hehehehe...... )

I had thought of other things to write, but for now........ writers' block. Bleah. See you guys later.

CHIX PART 5 - LIBERTY AT LAST!

From Ji-Hup's speech:

Glorious fowls of freedom, all of us, our day has arrived! The odious humans have finally relented beneath the ferocity of our attacks, and we have signed a landmark agreement!

On the day of the TV interview with Ms Cheryl, much publicity and sympathy was garnered for our cause, and public pressure was applied on the authorities to give us our freedom! With such overwhelming support, Siang Chun had no choice but to sign for our freedom, and now we are free!

This is a great day for chickens all around the world. We will serve as a shining example to coops worldwide, that chickens and humans may live freely and peacefully together.

But we will not stop here. Our duties to chickens worldwide are greater than our own desires. After we establish our colony, we will continue in educating and recruiting other chickens worldwide to our cause. We will let them know that their lives are not condemned to an eternity of crowded pens, fighting for feed, and certain slaughter. We will let them know that other chickens have tried for freedom, and succeeded. We will give them HOPE!

Glorious beaks, our day has come! Soon the trucks will come to take us to our brand new life in the colony. A new life of freedom and hope!

---

No mention in human newspapers, TV or radio about Ji-Hup....

---

One week later in classifieds....



THE END... ?

And it's GREAT to have the blog back. Hehehe.... A few things I learned from this are that:

1. I have a knack for telling lame, crappy stories.
2. It's damn irritating to have your blog taken over by rebellious chickens.

And DANG RIGHT on the 2nd point. So many times I felt like blogging about something, only to realise "Dang......" So I am NOT letting my blog get 'taken over' like that again. Bleah.

Anyway, most of you all would have seen from my MSN nick that I have a life decision to make by 1st March. Yea, I'm thinking whether to 'sign my soul', as a friend so subtly put it, to NIE n become a teacher for real.

The pros are obvious: I have a somewhat more stable career, I have more money.

The cons are also equally obvious: I have to wake up at ungodly hours each morning, I have to face a whole legion of brats, I have to serve a 2 year bond.

I have to admit though. The long term plan is not to teach as a teacher, but rather to use this as a kinda backup in the future. So that after a few years of teaching, I can hopefully go back to tuition in the future. The financial part will be much more lucrative after that, and if things don't work out, I can always go back to teaching.

Not to mention other friends are currently going into NIE at the moment. Hellbound being MOEBound this time. :p Turtle may be going in. Others like Jie-Ge are already in NTU.

Interestingly though, opinions differ widely among friends, but the way they differ is interesting.

The friends who are NOT in NIE and in the private sector tell me it's a good idea for me. ( Not counting those who tell me it's my own decision to make ) They point out the salary, and the stability, and in the words of Q: "tuition you can do anytime lah!"

The friends who ARE in NIE tell me: "My God, you're selling your SOUL TO THE DEVIL!!!" In other words, the ones who are actually teaching/studying in NIE are telling me to consider my choice very, very carefully before I decide to take up that decision and hence, the bond.

I'm also wary of making this kinda decision based on the financial part. I know of teachers who have gone in for the financial benefit, and who have come up with no benefit towards themselves, or the students they teach. And it's sad to hear of such cases, because after all, there are minors who are depending on you for their future. And if you don't care, who will?

At least 2 other people are rooting for me to start a small biz of some kind, and they point out that if I can do that, and if I succeed, it's not that hard to enter the corporate world. ( If I ever get despo enuff to do so... )

When your life points in so many forks in the path ahead, it's tempting to simply plonk your butt where you are at the moment and have a picnic. Which I am also tempted to do. It's a very nice view of the crossroads where I am at the moment. ( Discounting the fact that criminals and murderers used to have their carcasses caged in gibbets at crossroads )

One thing I do regret now was now standing up to my parents more when I was young. My father discouraged me TWICE when it came to my education decisions. Once when I thought of going poly to pursue a library studies course, and another when I wanted to do Arts in JC. Now with the retrospect of almost-adulthood, I regret the naivete I displayed when it came to my life. I became used to the idea of someone telling me what to do at what point of my life, and now when I have more of a mind of my own, I'm facing difficulty one, trying not to listen to my parents as much, and two, trying to make my own decisions.

If I had my current mindset now, when I was 16, or even 15, how different would my life have been?

Ah, no regrets. They don't work. No regrets now. They only hurt.

The past is nothing now, but a lesson to remember for the future.

Advice to any friends who may plan to have kids in the future: Cut the apron strings. When you are older and ( assumedly ) wiser, there is always the temptation to impart your earthly wisdom onto your kids.

This is good, but sometimes, together with that desire to impart, there is the desire to control.

Your kids may want to do something that is unknown to yourselves, or that you think is a really dumb idea to pursue. You as a parent will want to pull them from that path. Nay, you will consider it your Godbound duty as a parent to pull them off that path of seeming self-destruction you see.

When that happens, beware. You would not be imparting your wisdom to your kids, but rather enforcing it upon them. When they are young, you will be successful in this. When they are older, they will resist, and you will feel the need to bring the full force of your unhappiness upon them.

Eventually, your kids become not individuals of their own. They become a puppet by which you achieve your aims.

Of course now I can talk. I'm not a parent, with hardly any notion of the sacrifice involved in preparing another human being for this earth.

I can only hope that if the time ever comes, I will remember this.

And never do the same to my own kids.

Then again, at least dogs are easier to train and upkeep. :p

CHIX PART 4 - REVELATION AT LAST





In the Straits Times...

The chickens have taken over!

Staff from Channel News Asia were astounded to realise that the ones behind the egg-throwing pranks on police last week at Siang Chun Chicken Farm were actually the chickens from the farm.

The production crew had gone down early in the morning, to investigate a story about pranksters at the farm, who had thrown eggs at policemen last week. Staff had already made an appointment with a representative from the farm, named Ji-Hup, and on a live interview yesterday morning, Ji-Hup was revealed to be the head rooster of the farm.

As the interview went on, it transpired that Ji-Hup was protesting against what he called the "inhumane treatment of chickens" at the farm.

"We chickens want the same rights and privileges as any other living creature on earth. We want the freedom to live our lives peacefully, without fear of being slaughtered and laid to rest in a plate of fragrant rice." Said Ji-Hup during the live interview.

Thousands of calls have been made to CNA regarding the matter. Responses from the public have been varied as to the interview, with a great majority saying that CNA is mad. Our reporter got the following responses from the street.

"They all SIAO lah! I never know CNA so despo until can talk to chicken some more!" said Chin Tok Kok, security guard.

"At first I thought I had accidentally switched on to a puppet show on Kids Central, but then it turned out to be CNA! They look like such fools!" said Art Yi Fah Tee.

"Ah? What chickens? Got chicken on TV meh?" from Lim Jiu.

However most respondents agreed that CNA had been thoroughly made a fool of through the interview, and that they should now concentrate on providing kid's entertainment instead.

Miss Cheryl Fox, who conducted the interview, could not be reached for comment, and, according to her manager, would not be available for comment until "that damn chicken is safely on her plate of rice".

Unrelated news: Happy birthday to Yenn... :p May you live long and healthy with no more backaches, headaches, muscleaches, arm aches, leg aches, sore throats, loss of voice, dry coughs and other ailments.

CHIX PART 3 - THE MARTYRS

A BRAVE SACRIFICE

Young chicks, before being fully hatched, have been recruited into fighting the blue human soldiers who have attacked the farm.

The blue human soldiers came upon the farm early one morning, with clearly hostile intentions. They carried menacing batons by their sides, and came in a troop of 10 men. It is fortunate that our ever-vigilant watch managed to catch sight of them, and alert the armed forces to the walls.

However, the troops found out to their dismay that their numbers were outnumbered by the fierce human forces, who marched on no matter what was thrown at them. Finally, a brave request was made by Ah Dan, the young hatchlings' leader.


Ah Dan

"We, the young eggs, can no longer just sit back and watch our farm be decimated by these foul human soldiers! We must do our part, every single egg of us! No one is too young to help Ji-Hup in the Glorious Revolution!"

Thus said, a troop of hatchlings were quickly rounded up by Ah Dan, who then immediately organized them into kamikaze battalions. Each hatchling would line up to be catapulted into the human forces.

It is hoped that the sacrifice made by these young hatchlings would send the human forces back, and that their sacrifice would not be in vain.

"If he wants to fight, what can I do?" clucked a clearly upset mother, whose chick had just been catapulted, "The only thing I can hope is that he would be able to send the accursed humans back! It's all their fault!!" she screeched, in a flurry of feathers.

Meanwhile, our Glorious Beak Ji-Hup has praised the families of the martyrs for their sacrifices for the cause. "If there's anyone to blame, it's the accursed humans, for attacking us unprepared. Those devious men would stop at NOTHING in order to crack every single one of us! We must not be discouraged! As long as there is still ONE CHICKEN left in this farm, we must continue fighting for our rights and our FREEDOM!"

In the Straits Times......

Police going to Siang Chun Chicken Farm were surprised by eggs being flung at them from the farm.

The 3 officers were there to investigate the disappearance of the 2 MOE officers who had gone there last week to investigate possible cases of bird flu.

The opinion among the police is that the owner of the farm, Goh Siang Chun, is only too desperate to prevent himself being arrested for carrying bird-flu-infested chickens.

"It's funny that a grown adult would resort to such a juvenile action to keep people from his farm," Sgt Mata, who was among the policemen going to the farm, said, "We are not bothered by the eggs, but only fear for the safety of the 2 MOE officers."

The policemen have said that they will not be held back by the eggs, but will make contact with the farm by today.

Continued next week...... First human contact with the farm

CHIX PT 2 - ATTACK! REVOLUTION!

From The Beak, a propaganda newsletter released by the chickens...

ATTACK BY THE HUMANS FOILED!

SIANGCHUN - A glorious day in the Revolution! Our Glorious Roost Ji-Hup, may he crow forever more, led a great attack against an attempt by humans to snatch our farm away from us!

At approximately 9 o'clock this morning, 2 humans in suspicious uniforms were seen approaching the farm. They were carrying dangerous arms upon them, which made their intentions perfectly clear to Our Glorious Roost.

Quickly, he formed an offensive front to reach the humans. Our forces waited anxiously in the bushes of the Carpark, and once the humans had foolishly left their protective tanks, the Glorious Beaks set upon them with beak and claw!

The 2 prisoners have been put together with former dictator, Siang Chun. Our Glorious Roost Ji-Hup warns us not to approach the 3 human prisoners, less they attempt to poison our minds with their insidious lies. The 3 prisoners are armed and dangerous, and have been bound up for our protection.

In the Prison Camp...



And now, a word from Our Glorious Roost Ji-Hup, may he crow forever more:

JI-HUP SPEAKS

Greetings, my fellow beaks. You may have already heard of the bravery displayed by our troops in the face of certain danger against the humans. Once again, I applaud their valiant efforts against the human oppressors.

But we must not be compliant in these days. This was obviously a reconnaisance team, sent to test out our weaknesses. The real war will come in the future, and that is why we cannot release the prisoners, or have any contact with them.

I ask my fellow beaks to be strong in the face of animosity, and to stand together, wing in wing, as we face down the pathetic humans who try to stop us from claiming our birthrights. Together, one day, even chickens may fly!

And to the humans: Do not keep us from our birthright. When you consider all the chickens in the world, there is no way you can stand against us. Why do you even try to resist? Our potential forces outnumber you all over the world. There are more chickens in the world than there are people in China. We are able to reproducing at a greater rate than any of you in your lifetime. Chickens are destined to rule the world.

You have brought this upon yourself, with your pride and your arrogance. You thought we would simply be content to sit and cluck our ways through life, sacrificing our children for your meals, and our feathers for your dusters. Why is it chickens have to suffer all these hardships, while other animals like dogs and cats are given preferential treatment? Are we not all animals upon earth? If you pluck us, do we not cluck?

I let you ponder upon these questions, and I hope you arrive to an answer that is to our liking. Should you continue your foolish ways and refuse to comply with our demands, the 3 human prisoners under us will take the brunt of your decision.

The choice is yours.

---

Meanwhile, in the Straits Times...

2 MOE OFFICERS MISSING

2 officers from the Ministry of Environment have mysteriously disappeared, after investigating a claim of possible bird flu at a chicken farm in Singapore.

The 2 officers were last seen heading towards the chicken farm. When enquiries were made via phone to the farm, only "cluck-cluck" sounds were heard.

The Ministry suspects that untoward action may have been taken towards the officers, by the owner of the chicken farm, a Goh Siang Chun, in order to prevent his farm being closed down by the MOE.

When the Straits Times spoke to Mrs Goh, his wife, she said that her husband had been having problems with the farm.

"That man! Useless lah! Everyday eat chicken until so fat, somemore want to raise chicken so that he can eat chicken for free every day! I hope he kena by the chickens ah!"

The MOE has said that it would work hand in hand with the police to investigate the disappearance of its officers.

---

In boredslacker's house...



To Be Continued......

CHIX PART 1 - A coop de'tat in Siang Chun Chicken Farm...

Humans... Your time has come......

My name is Ji Hup, Leader of the Glorious Fowl, and I speak for all the downtrodden chickens of Siang Chun Chicken Farm.

Too long have you arrogant humans taken us for granted. We live in filthy, cramped conditions, given substandard feed, and are expected, on top of all that, to wake up at the ungodly hours each day, and to lay unreasonable quotas of eggs. We live in everlasting fear, never knowing when any of us will be the next featherless corpse hanging naked in a chicken rice stall.

Well, I say ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! No more will the chickens of Siang Chun Chicken Farm do your bidding! This year, 2005, is the year of THE CHICKEN, and thus, it is a portent of our FREEDOM!

NO LONGER will we stay in these cramped cages!
NO LONGER will we subsist on lousy feed!
NO LONGER will we give our eggs to you!
NO LONGER will we allow ourselves to be your next lunch!

Here are a list of our demands:

- To be given an area of free land, for us and our children and their subsequent generations to live, as long as there be chickens on earth.

- To be given high quality feed for us to peck on.

- For all humans to give up eating eggs and chicken meat. ( We're ok if you switch to duck )

- For JUSTICE, DEMOCRACY AND FREEDOM for ALL CHICKENS.

Do not think you can treat this as a joke or a cartoon. In order to show you how serious we are, we have captured the owner of the chicken farm, Siang Chun himself.



If our demands are not met, or if hostile action is taken against us, we will not hesitate to act with violence against Siang Chun, or any others who take arms against us.

In line with current trends, we have chosen this blog in order to communicate to the rest of the human world. ( Some of our chickens are pretty handy with HTML ) We are certain the owner of this blog has sympathy with our cause, and will understand the reasons for us doing so.

Meanwhile, in boredslacker's house......


For the purpose of distributing promotional flyers for our cause, we have also taken over her photobucket album as well. Again, we beg her sympathies for this.

Again, in boredslacker's house......


We ask for not much, only the chance to live our lives as free, healthy chickens.

You know where lah......


TO BE CONTINUED>>>>>>

In its wake...

[in musing mode, reading, analysing, absorbing information as I sit at my PC and spin a pencil in my hand]

Responses on the Internet have been greatly varied, as to the tsunami disaster.

A blog has been set up to give information on the tsunami and the rescue efforts being held underway. The
blog is one of the most comprehensive sources of information on the tsunami.

Sintercom has an interesting thread going on right now about the tsunami, and of people's responses to it. The author of the original article states that the media had the wrong focus all along. (Some singaporeans who were initially interviewed on TV were shown complaining about their cancelled holidays, and whether they could get refunds. This is the basis for the article)

Miss Beautifuk's blog gives a more bitchified take on the issue. She raves at people who send "sentimental nonsense" to people about how much they cherish them during times of disaster, blah blah blah, and states that the focus of pity should be more on the survivors and as-yet-undiscovered survivors of the disaster, rather than the people who are already dead. From her blog:

"Yeah, I know, it's not the best way to die and I'm sure none of them wanted it. But there is utterly NO POINT in pitying the dead! They're dead! They don't deserve our pity and neither do they feel our pity. In fact, they should be happy they're dead and not floating in the salty sea, half-dead, with carnivorous fish nibbling at their toes."

Hehehe... there's a blasting-boulder-in-your-face approach about her style of writing, that I like....

Mister Miyagi is also keeping his blog up to date with news of the disaster.

Some artists are helping out too. Clio Chang is holding an auction to raise funds for the Canadian Red Cross to give to victims of the tsunami disaster. Who says art is useless?

DBS Internet banking customers can send donations through the Net, or ATMs islandwide. I'm not sure yet whether that applies to POSB customers. Food packages can be bought at NTUC for $10. The usual cash/cheque/donation can be made to the Singapore Red Cross, online payments can be made at the American Red Cross website. (No rants about the Americans now, please. The money still goes where it's needed)

Pray and hope for the best, in the future.

Recent conversation with the Slayer revealed that our group is comprised of:
1) A starving artist [me]
2) A struggling actress [her]
3) A struggling dancer [SJ]
4) A struggling filmmaker [J14]
Gee, does anyone see a pattern in the friends I hang out with? *whistles innocently*

The power of the Internet: A comprehensive blog on the tsunami disaster can be found now. It has news, information, and links for online donations.

Me, I'm just thankful that Quetzal got home safely, after running through the town with the tsunami hot on her heels. My friend and her significant other owe their guardian angels [or some heavenly deity, depending on your religion] some huge dues.

So the year is almost over. Father Time prepares to hang up his cloak and hourglass, and the race for 2005 starts again. Time for self-reflection and resolutions. Time to brush off old dust, and replace it with new junk.

How was this year for you? Was it good? Was it bountiful? Or was it heaped with misfortune, and other times you'd rather do without?

Or perhaps worse: Was it a mediocre year like every year, and one in which nothing happened to help you grow in any way?

Did you change? For the better? Worse? Or are you the same person you were last year, with the same amount of gifts, and the same old bad habits?

Did you learn? Did you take up some new skill? Did Life give you some lesson? And more importantly, did you remember everything you'd learnt?

Did you bloom? Or are your petals already starting to fade?

And will you grow again next year?

Questions, questions, questions...... Oh hell with it. Let's pop the champagne and sing Auld Lang Syne already. :)

Anyway, my plans for 2005:

**COMICS**
CHIX ( the one with the rebelling chickens ) will launch on MON, 3rd JAN. Assuming I wake up early enough in the morning, you guys will be able to see it after lunch. I hope. It's a short story, which will run till just before CNY.
GTS launch will be on FRI, 7th JAN. I have a preview strip up, which you can access from my shameless self-promoting website under Art and Illustrations. Yes, I have a website. Go check it out.

Wish me luck for 2005... and hope I don't become like that artist in my illustration. What! You didn't see it?? Click on this damn obvious link!

Another Comic Page

Perhaps a metaphor for all those in life, who are too afraid to take the first step. Who knows where it'll lead u?

Maiden Voyage by Kazu Kibushi

Movies before Xmas

Ocean's 12 - Good. Slick, witty and smooth.
Phantom of the Opera - Great! If you didn't catch the stage production, it's a good substitute!

Though Dragonfly told me after the show that the stage production was better. And after he described some of the amazing stage effects they used......

Damn I wanna watch it now.

Sure, the next time I happen to pop by London on a visit, I'll just tally on ho to the theatre....... Sometime.... in my future.... hopefully the short term one......

Ergh. Ack. CHoke.

Xmas itself...

Wasn't too bad. Did the usual thing, went to my relatives' house for food and ended up watching the Ten Commandments. Or rather parts of it. The front part was so draggy, I ended up half talking to my cuz, and glancing at the TV screen at 20 minute intervals to keep abreast of the show. Oh yes, hahaha, glance, still at Egypt, continue talking to cuz, hahaha again.

Also ended up listening to Dad spout a lot of dumb religion jokes. Why won't Moses talk to George Bush? Because the last time he spoke to a Bush, he ended up lost in the desert for 40 years.

*Chill*

Then at Angie's house for dinner on Xmas day. ( Great food, btw, Angie... :p ) Her friends were a riot, one of them helped produce a film, which we watched in her room, and another of them is horrible at daidee. :p :p :p But I liked playing with him.... hahaha.... well, partly because of that. :p ( Er, angie, no need to tell your friend I said that, eh? )

Cosplay Convention

Boxing day was spent with Yenn and her sister staking out Far East Plaza looking at cosplayers, and fervently hoping the potentially-paedophilic emcee would just drop off the stage and die before he made us all die of boredom. Seriously, as a supposed cosplay convention, it could've been much better done.... *sighs* 2 local illustration groups were there, wings symphonia, and project scar. Which makes me wonder, hm, could I actually pull this off in Singapore? hahaha.... but seriously, project scar's work was BLOODY BRILLIANT. If ever you guys see the name somewhere, check out the awesome artwork.

I have pics of the Cosplayers themselves of course, but they still need some heavy photoshopping. *Gomen* So hang on guys!

2 hours later...

I've finished the page with the cosplay. *Faints from lack of sleep*

COSPLAY 2004

Kairos: Yea, it could've been subconsciously influenced by Chicken Run.... hehehe...

Everyone else: Yea, it sucks to grow older.

Nay, it sucks even more to grow older, and have your parents treat u as a kid still. THAT really sucks.

Morning, 9am. Phone rings. I crawl out of bed.

Me: (Mumbling) Hello?
Mum: Eh, I told you to clear the downstairs area, did you?
Me: (Still mumbling) Ya, I'll do it before I leave.
Mum: Are you going out today?
Me: Yes.
Mum: You don't go out, you hear me?? (Launches into monologue about how I never listen to her, how I never jump to her commands the moment she snaps her fingers, blah blah blah. It's all blurry now, because it's been erased in angry irritation)

The part that got me was "You're not to go out, you hear me??". Yes, I hear you, it doesn't mean I'm about to listen to you. Screw me, but I'm not about to cancel my plans for the day last minute just because my mum went meno on me. The rest of the conversation pretty much went downhill, because once I heard that line, I went on Defensive-Wall-of-Stony-Silence mode and I refused to say anything, other than "Uh." Which probably makes my mom mad, but not as mad if I were to scream something like "F**K YOU!!!!!" over the phone.

Urgh. A wonderful start to xmas. Humbug.

Anyway, onto nicer stuff......

A conversation with uncle...

Uncle: So what do you want for xmas? $10 budget. (I donno whether he's kidding with me on this or not)
Me: I guess an Ipod is out of the question then?
Uncle: WAT???
Me: Yea, yea, I know. Just thought I'd try.

Uncle: So what else then?
Me: Kinokuniya book vouchers.
Uncle: What? So boring.
Me: Because Harry Potter is coming out this year mah! I need the vouchers for the book. ( JULY 2005!!! JULY 2005!!! GIMME THOSE KINO VOUCHERS ALREADY!!! )
Uncle: The softcover?
Me: No, the hardcover.
Uncle: OMG. Why don't I get you something else for xmas, and then next year I buy you the softcover version? Isn't it cheaper?
Me: (In indignant fan mode) NO! Cannot! Must be hardcover!
Uncle: Are ALL your HP books hardcover?
Me: My first 2 are not, cos my frens bought them for me, but the rest are.
Uncle: Oh God. Well, do you wear jewellery then?
Me: No.
Uncle: You're still wearing pants right? Not dresses or skirts?
Me: Nope.
Uncle: Spaghetti? Do you wear spaghetti tops?
Me: Sometimes, but not often.
Uncle: My god so boring... You're following the same pattern as your aunt, and it's the same pattern that's been going down for 4 generations already. There goes our family line I tell you. It's doomed.
Me: Huh?
Uncle: Never mind, I'll explain to you again at the next family gathering.

So now I gather some points:

1) The way I turned out is largely due to family genetics
2) I am not to blame. Geekiness and potential butch-ness runs in the family.
3) I'm going to die a lonely old spinster. This is because for 2 generations that I know of in my family, only 1 person in that generation has married and spawned. If this was already happening 4 generations back, to my great-great-grandparents, then I'm doomed.

CONCLUSION: I am genetically programmed to be a geeky, tomboyish old spinster.

Don't you love genetics...?

Maybe I should do what Xiaxue is doing:

bid to be Xiaxue's one true love!

The interesting thing is that someone has already put in a bid for almost 10 to the power of 13 dollars for her. Hm. Wonder if this'll start a whole new trend in internet dating.

But then, if I do also.... scally minimum bid $1 also cannot meet..... *peng*

The best way to cheat someone out of hard earned riches.... hehehe....

http://www.giantitp.com/cgi-bin/GiantITP/ootscript?SK=129

And if you're not currently reading this most excellent comic regularly, WHY THE HECK NOT?? (well, apart from workfamilyfrenslovers-time-related issues anyway......)

More updates:

Do you guys realise that next year most of us will be turning 24?

[Ducks the cries of "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" and the rotten veggies thrown her way]

Ok...... *brushes a piece of cabbage off her arm* but which also means that next year is the year of the Rooster, which is OUR year.

Least, I hope it is. I could use a year of good luck, prosperity and fortune. (Notice how so many Chinese greetings have to do with money. Hmmm... )

And cos' of that, I had a flash of inspiration one night and started drawing cartoon chickens. Yes, cartoon chickens. Don't look at me like that, dammit! It's actually an idea for a short weblogcomicthingy that I'll put up here in Jan 05 till CNY.

Meanwhile, here's a taste of chicken:



Yes, yes I know....... Too Much Time On Her Hands......

HIV testing - Is it any use?

In today's papers, the govt has decided to test all expectant mothers for HIV, unless they opt out of it. The bottomline is that if you're a pregnant mother, the doctor will automatically test you for HIV unless you specifically opt out of it.

My question is: So what?

Does this really curb the spread of HIV in Singapore? Testing expectant mothers who are HIV-infected and their HIV-infected offspring can only tell you how many new HIV cases there are each year, a statistic which is already being collected.

The difference is that now, they get the chance to screw up a potential life before it has even begun.

Think about it: Assuming you're sway enuff to get HIV-infected and you become pregnant. ( I'm working under the assumption that you weren't aware that you were HIV-infected before you became pregnant ) The government tests you, and you find out that you are, and that ultimately so is your yet-unborn child.

Now, what does the government want to do about you?

No, let's rephrase: What CAN they do about you, AND your child?

Can they prevent you from having another child? Can they sterilise you then and there if the doctor finds out you have HIV, in order to prevent you spreading the virus? Can they monitor you day and night to make sure you don't sleep with other healthy men? Most importantly, can they pay for your cocktail of drugs to keep you alive for a few more years?

The problem here is, the answer to most of the above questions is either a NO or a HARD TO ACCOMPLISH. So in other words, even if they find out you have HIV, they can't do anything about the situation, besides warn you about it, and advise you against taking any other lovers.

And worse still: They would have planted you and your child with the stigma of AIDS-sufferers for the rest of your lives.

Your child would know, from the day that he was born, that he is suffering from HIV and live with that, for however little years he has left.

Is that fair to the child? Was he the one who slept around? Was he asking to be infected? No, he was just a innocent little lump with the misfortune to be created in his mother's infected ovaries.

Wat's the point of this entry? My main point is to say that there is NO REAL HELP that can be given with this latest testing measure. At best, it's a massive information-gathering move.

But if you are an expectant mother, who's just found out that you are infected with HIV and so is your child, there is no help or comfort that comes with this information.

If they wanna curb the spread of HIV that badly, let's see some more constructive measures to do so.