New Wallpaper!

I'm on a blogging roll this week... wonder why... Anyway, this time it's a new wallpaper.

I recently bought Ocean Yang's CD from a dubious market stall. [The music is good, and the CD works, that's mainly what I'm concerned with] And this wallpaper was inspired by one of the songs.



The inspiring song is "Liang3 Jian1 Shi4", and in it, the man sings of how, when rummaging through his old possessions, he finds an old letter that his mother had first given him when he first moved out of the family home into the city. In the letter, his mother has 2 pieces of advice for him. One is to always stick to one's principles, and the other is to find a girl you love, and treasure her for a lifetime.

[Note that the lyrics have been pretty badly translated by me]

It's a very sweet, touching song, and like most of the songs in his album, has a light, airy and carefree feel to it. Hence, the light blue sky for a background.

The young man was drawn in Freehand, and colour was later added with Photoshop. Resolution is abt 1200 by 1600, so should fit most browsers.

3 Easy Ways Not To Get Sued Becos Of Your Blog

The stats have cooled almost down to their normal numbers after being Miyagi-ed, but I've noticed an increase in the number of returning visitors. [ie, people who read my blog more than once] Since I haven't made any new friends lately, I assume the returning ones are returning because they like my writing or my art. Or the better blogs like mrbrown and Xiaxue haven't updated. :p

Welcome one, welcome all.

Though talking about blogs, there's been a fair talk about blogs in the news lately hor? First, that scholar gets into trouble for racist remarks, then the Acid Flask incident. [which frankly raises a few question marks in my mind.]

OOPS! Shouldn't have said that! What if A*Star decides to sue me??? :p

Anyway, after reporting rather late on the issue, and interviewing and misquoting a few famous bloggers, the rules are out on the local blogosphere:

Blogs are NOT private space, since their contents are posted on the Internet.

You CAN be sued, if you defame someone in your blog.

So how will you know whether you will get in trouble for what you write in your blog? Here are the following guidelines:

No defamatory or insulting statements

So if you're really pissed off at a colleague at work, for eg, you cannot write:

"XYZ is such a blardy b***h! Always teah teah [how the heck do you spell that word in English???] the guys! Buay tahan her!"

But you CAN write:

"I have observed certain instances where XYZ acts in a manner such that one can only draw the conclusion that she is using her feminine charms to gain unfair favours with the men in the office. I find this behaviour unbecoming on her part."

What's the diff? [Besides the more powerful England in the 2nd sentence?] The first sentence, you're making an outright insulting remark about the person. In the 2nd, you are describing an eyewitness account of XYZ's behaviour in the office, and expressing a personal opinion. :p

From this, we can also deduce that

No using the real names of people or companies

Face it, you never know who is going to google you and find your blog and read the above unflattering statement about herself. So use common sense here, and do not use your real name on the Internet, and do not name friends, colleagues, clients, bosses etc.

Eg, do not write:

"That shi Shi Jia Ming, Marketing director of Alias Pte Ltd always like to tell lies about people! Xian Hua always tell me like that one!"

Wrong, wrong, wrong. What if Jane Shi Jia Ming goes on an ego trip and decides to Google herself, and the first thing she sees is your blog? Instead, write:

"It has been noticed that SJM, who works in the marketing dept at A***s Pte Ltd, usually tells untruths about her colleagues."

Again, your opinion on Jia Ming's honesty is collaborated by other people, who shall remain unknown, or even fictional.

Observe the Xiaxue Doctrine
But face it,most of us non-legal eagles won't know exactly what is potentially defamatory. [The worst among us would think defaming is a way of making a celebrity less famous] Thus, for the ordinary people, From the Singapore Angle has kindly come up with the Xiaxue doctrine.

The Xiaxue doctrine was inspired from a quote from Xiaxue in ST:

"I know the people whom I criticise are not going to come after me and sue me. I don't write about companies and they are the ones that will sue."

Therefore, the Xiaxue doctrine:

Only write about people whom you know do not have the time, money or energy to sue you for what you've written.

So following the Xiaxue Doctrine, you must make sure your blog doesn't criticise:

1) The Lee clan, including Lee Kuan Yew and Lee Hsien Loong. [Don't make fun of LKY's wife either. Don't forget she was also trained as a lawyer]

2) Anyone in government. [excluding, possibly, opposition parties]

3) A*Star and any other government agency. [So now, my future employers have to be known as Mr Moe. (^^!)]

4) Any government-linked or related company. This includes Singtel, Temasek Holdings [remember who runs Temasek Holdings and look at no. 1], and so on.

So as a guideline:

1) Write everything in cheem English
2) Always claim you or someone saw the act being done
3) Always use fake names
4) Stay away from anyone in government

Hope this helps! If not, you can always google up some lawyers.......

Hi there!

To all the people who came over from Miyagi-san's blog. Your visits have spiked the stats for my blog to unheard-of heights. (o_0)?

Though for me, it's still somewhat bemusing to see total strangers leave comments of sympathy for my DF on my blog... hahaha...

Google me!

Who watched the movie 'Hitch'? If you did, you'd know that Will Smith's character would usually do research on his clients and their prospective women through Google by Googling them.

Indeed, Google has become so popular that it's even become a verb on its own. To Google: (V) To find something or someone through the Google search engine. [are we gonna see this in the Longman dictionaries any time soon?]

So in a fit of boredom one night, I googled myself to see what I could come up with.

Suffice to say, it looks much easier in the movies.

If you were to type in 'boredslacker' in Google, you'd find an extremely comprehensive list of my online activities, chief at the top being, strangely enough, my long-neglected tripod website. Fair enough.

If you were to type in my REAL name however....... Holy cow, you get something like 10 pages of results! \(0_0)/ Help!

Most of the other entries were highly unrelated. I did find some people who shared the same name and surname as I did [and considering my name... that's quite a coincidence...] some 18year olds and one 13 going on 14.

Most others were just people who shared the same name, but different surnames. Like the lady who was some CFO for AXA or something... wah liao!

And there was even this: A non-profit organization dedicated to social development in Cambodia. (-_-!)

I did find my real full name, but it was on a list of alumni from NUSSUX. :p And similiarly, on that list is also the rest of you all. You know who you are. You can't run! Your names are on the Internet!

But as to my Real Life identity, that's all one would be able to find. Which is not surprising. I'm not famous in my RL mode. In the Internet, I'm Aki Tan, aka Boredslacker. I do cartoons, illustrations, and I'm an insanely avid blogger, who has a mildly [very, verry mildly] successful blog on the Internet. [eh, I got Tomorrowed, and Miyagied ok? Don't play play ah...]

In RL...... I'm a jobless goon. (-_-!) Ok, waiting for entry to NIE, and then to become a govt slave. (!-_-!) No wonder most people prefer the allure and anonymity of the Internet, eh?

So for us anonymous goons out there, no need to wonder about information being spread about you on the Internet! [Most sensitive information nowadays is kept on secure networks anyway, much like NUSSUX's VPN, so unless you're a fool who likes to share her name, address, IC no, birthday, and name of dog with the world...] Just as in the real world, you're camoulflaged amongst all the other goons sharing the same name as you are...

More Quizzes!

Courtesy of Slayer, [and Krystal for some] my comments are in [] brackets

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. [Sounds like I should get a horse instead.]

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. [Does anyone ever like to be told that they're hated?]

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. [Heh.]

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. [Thankfully he hasn't shown signs of this... yet.]

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. [Except for that one incident in.... never mind.]

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. [Which means I stand a good chance of being the one dumped?? No.......]

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. [Of course.]

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered. [Oops, don't let the DF see this...]

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Your Birthdate: February 20

Your birth on the 20th day of the month adds a degree of emotion, sensitivity, and intuition to your reading. The 2 energy provided here is very social, allowing you to make friends easily and quickly. Yet you are apt to have a rather nervous air in the company of a large group. [I find this to be true. With a few people, I'm alright. With a large group, I tend to hide in the shadows.] You have a warmhearted nature and emotional understanding that constantly seeks affection. [I need da love!] You are very prone to become depressed and moody, as emotions can turn inward and cause anxiety and mental turmoil. It can be hard for you to bounce back to reality when depression sets in. [Where's my Prozac? Quick!] When things are going well, you can go just as far the other way and become extremely affectionate. [The DF should read this too....]

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Error! Error!

My mistake guys. If you clicked on Popagandhi's site, there's nothing wrong with it. It's a very blog in fact.

The disgusting one I saw was actually linked on her blog, and I forgot to include it in mine. Oops... :p

Anyway here's the link...

Surfing around and found these...

Went to Popagandhi's blog and saw this link.

Clicked out of curiosity.

Ran screaming to the bathroom, washing out my eyes with soap. [the pain that caused was not equivalent to the pain I suffered at first.]

The best [and most ironic] part: The site offers Webpage Conceptualization, Design and Creation Services

Excuse me while I heave out my Milo...

Here's a more interesting one:

I've gone for 2 Flag Days with NUSSUX. I'm about to be enlisted for the NTU one as part of NIE. (-_-!) Wah freakin' cow!

And I've met all sorts of people while selling flags, but thankfully, never have I encountered someone like this:

"Wait you have children then you know!"

Courtesy of Tomorrow.sg

A few changes to the blog....

I've been Miyagi-ed!



albeit as a very smmmaaallllll link......... (^^!) There goes another 15 mins of my fame...

I've been finding no end of goodies to put on the blog as well.... One noticeable one being the Google search box, which is SUPPOSED to help pple search through the contents of my blog, but still somewhat doesn't work... (^^!) For eg, I typed in "Dragonfly" and only 1 entry came up?? And I know I wrote a WHOLE lot more than that on him...

Also, the Blogroll for Online Comics. [ya might have ta scroll down a weeeee bit more to see it...] Now you can see some of the stuff I routinely waste my time on... (^^!) Done courtesy of Blogrolling. [If this works I might replace my other links lists with this... HTML window's getting damn crowded when I look at it...]

Me thinks me blog is gonna get a weeeeee bit crowded after a while...

I also organized my Flickr page. Cartoons, illustrations and wallpaper have all been separated nicely, so you guys can download and find the pics you want easier. Want wallpaper? Go straight to the wallpaper folder and download wat you want. Want to ogle at my art? Go to Illustrations. Want to pass on my cartoons to others? Cartoons.

BTW here's another illustration done entirely in Photoshop:



In case you were wondering, yea, I think the pose is a bit awkward.... *haiz* So sue me....

Shadowstalker is a character I created when I was in sec sch. She is a woman created entirely out of magic, but lives purely on the desire to kill and destroy. [Hence flaming buildings and blood-encrusted sword.] A soulless, heartless creature destined to bring about Armaggeddon.

I hadn't thought of her for years, and then recently, she suddenly came to mind, and I knew exactly how I wanted to portray her, and how I wanted her to look in the picture, so I opened out Photoshop, and ta-dah. [done entirely in PS]

Although the way she suddenly came to mind like that... Maybe it wasn't so much that I remembered and drew her as I wished, but that SHE made me remember and draw her as SHE wished...

Found this interesting story about The Story of SMU. [Note to any law-savvy pple in SMU: Please don't sue me hor, this is just a story I heard from someone else, not mine hor.]

The Sordid Story of SMU

Dunno whether it provides some comfort to the NUS profs to tell this story to their peasants, oops, students.

I'm not fat!

If you are a woman from the age of roughly 13-50 reading this, there has been at least one time in your life, when you looked at yourself in the mirror, struggled on to a top that used to fit you perfectly, and thought to yourself:

"I'M FAT!"

If you are not one of the population lucky enough to be born with THE perfect body of the season [an ongoing urban myth that has not lost fervor] , then you have, at one time or another in your life, been unhappy/miserable/downright suicidal about your figure.

So why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we keep thinking the problem is with Uus? [Well, if you enjoy your fried foods and ice cream a little too much and consider walking to the malls strenuous exercise, then maybe the problem IS with you.] Everytime we feel insecure about our bodies, whether justified or not, the first person we blame is ourselves.

Well, blame no longer. Aki now brings you:

10 Reasons Why It's Not My Fault I'm Fat:

1. I inherited the wrong genes from the wrong parent. [I've used this one on occassion]

2. My mother taught me that it is a sin to waste food. But this rule doesn't apply to fresh fruits and vegetables because they're cheap.

3. My boyfriend keeps me fat because he doesn't want to lose me to other men.

4. The hawkers at the food court have a conspiracy against me. They always add extra salt and seasoning and fat to my food every time I order from them.

5. My bone density has doubled due to all the milk I drink.



6. I'm aiming for a slimming endorsement deal in the future. That way I get paid to slim down.

7. Water retention. 'Nuff said.

8. I live on a higher plane of consciousness, that values inner and spiritual beauty over that of superficial physical beauty.

9. It's not fat. It's muscle.



10. A phenomenon has caused the gravitation pull of the Earth to be stronger for some individuals than others. Thus, my weight has increased correspondingly.

Oh I just found out that the guy doing the localized Star Wars comic has come out with Chapter 2.

~May Da Farce Be With You!~

Some friends have asked me as to the Health promotion board thing.... As I said in my post, I rejected her offer.

Why? A variety of reasons I guess....

I'm not too confident of my skills on a professional basis. I know that I'm skilled on an amateur basis but when I look at the professional ones...... (00) "I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!"

Also, there are a dozen other things to consider when setting up shop like this. Finding the printing companies, liaisoning with clients... all of which I think will be damn hard to start off once I start NIE. I don't want to be torn between tuition, NIE, and design, otherwise all 3 areas will suffer.

I know down along the NIE and education road, I will be severely banging my head along the way for this lost opportunity. ["Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!"] But for now... If someone is going to pay me, I'm going to make sure I'm worth every blardy overpriced cent of theirs.

And it doesn't mean that I never will take up illustration/graphic design on a pro basis. I will always keep this as a sideline. Hopefully when I settle down in teaching, [if tat will ever happen] and shave off my tuition students, I will be able to balance the two better.

In the meantime, renshuu...... and *bang* *bang* *bang*

---

For now, here's an interesting thing that happened during the signing:

My two suretys were my mother, and my uncle [father's brother]. Now, my family has always been more on the ang moh side, [hence producing a banana potato like me] and my uncle also is more particular about language. [used to scold me and bro for using "lah"]

The signing was in the MOE HQ, base center for all education in Singapore. When our number was called, we went up to the table with our witness, who seemed to be a young lady, probably a clerk, and who spoke to us like this:

"So ah, I explain to you the contract hor. If the signee breaks her bond ah, this is the amount you will be liable for. However ah, in case of things like accident lah or death lah, the Ministry will take a compassionate view lor."

And this went on for the entire briefing.

I have to admit though, that at first, the lady's Singlish went right by me. For one, I'm blur. (^^!) For another, I was too busy thinking about when I could get the papers signed and get outta there. But I did notice at one point that my uncle had his arm propped up on the table, head resting on his palm, hiding his mouth the entire time. It was only after we left the auditorium, that he burst out laughing, saying,

"You know AH, you can tell AH, that lady didn't use to be a teacher LOR. Because AH, if she teach her students like that AH, the whole education system AH, gone LIAO LOR!"

(^^!) Best LOR......

Although you have to admit... That lady was working in the Base Camp for all English-language education in Singapore. And she had to be a product of the Singaporean Education System. And if she's talking like that to all the potential English teachers......

I wonder how many of them thought the same thing that my uncle did? :p

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Author's note: The words in italic were all originally uttered in Jap, but for easier reading, I've decided to write them in English instead. Also, a lot of dramatic licence has been taken throughout the story, so what happens isn't an exact reenactment. :) ]

Stoning through Jap class on a Saturday afternoon. Yenn next to me is visibly exhausted and trying to find the meaning of 'yakusoku'. [it means "appointment", something I only found out after class.]

"I have an appointment after class."

I was supposed to meet the DF after class, and at 6, I was already fidgety, waiting for the clock to move to 630 so I could quickly go meet him. [Go fig, still in the throes of honeymood mode...] Then I get an SMS from him:

Can meet at suntec?

Well, I was supposed to meet him at Orchard, but Suntec, why not? Closer to me by MRT somemore. So I reply back:

Can also, city hall mrt?

He says:

Ok. Are you meeting your friends after that?

"Traffic light..."

I say:

No, i'm not meeting them tonight

He: Oh i tot always meet them at night?

Me: No... my frens not so zai lor... hahaha

Then pause. Next SMS:

He: What would you say if I wanted to postpone tonight? My mother and her friends are in town and she wants me to go with her

"Red light..."

Eyes squint to a glare, mouth twists to one side, and face frowns, as I glare at the offending yet innocent SMS. Kuso! Almost 20mins before we're supposed to meet, you're asking me if you can cancel?? What do you think I'm going to reply you?

Me: *grumble* [The effectiveness of one word.... ]

He: Haha I guessed as much [then why ask if i'm ok with you postpoining, if you know my answer? Grrr....] I'll call her and see how

Me: wa liao cancel 20mins before i meet you...

He: My mother's friends only in town for a while mah... I'll call her..

One month into the relationship, and my DF has already felt what it's like to be caught between the Mother and the Girlfriend. Both of which are dangerously glaring at him, growling with their eyes, "Make a choice.... NOW!"

"Crossroads..."

On the outside, to sensei, I look like I'm listening attentively to the lesson, brows furrowed in concentration, despite some distractions with my SMSing. [wonder whether she wondered why I found traffic terms in japanese so engrossing....] On the inside........

"ARGH! IDIOT KUSO GUY MAKE APPT WITH HIM 1 WEEK AGO AND CONFIRM 24 HOURS BEFORE AND NOW 20MINS BEFORE MEETING HE WANT TO GO MEET HIS MOTHER????? IDIOT! KUSO! KITANAI! SAITEI!"

Fume. Fume. FUME. Finally, after Jap, he still hasn't called me to confirm whether he's meeting me or not, and I complain to Yenn 25 storeys down to the ground floor.

"Haiya, call him lah! At least you find out once and for all, right?" Yenn says exasperatedly, probably impatient with my continuing hesitance, and more eager to get on home to her long-awaited bed.

Ok, so I call him, and I find out he's meeting me for dinner after all. *phew* for me and ESP for him. I go to Suntec and when I meet him, I aim for the softest part of his waist and PINCH.

"CANCEL ME 20MINS BEFORE WILL YOU?"

As he's fervently trying to twist away from my iron fingers, [good luck, chap. Jules has been trying that for years, and years later, he still can't escape from these Fingers of Iron...] he makes a valiant attempt to defend himself.

"She just called me up today also, I didn't know what to tell her!"

*glare*

"Her friends only in town for a while only mah!"

*glare*

"She's my mother!"

*GLARE WITH DAGGERS SHOOTING OUT*

Stung and bleeding, his half-dead body lying on the floor, he finally raises 2 hands in surrender, while I sit by his corpse, licking my claws clean.

"Ah........ another thing."

"What?" As I sit by licking the last of his blood off my hands.

"I won't be able to follow you home, because I have to go home with her."

*GLARE WITH DAGGERS AND OMINOUS THUNDER IN BACKGROUND*

Again, his half-dead body lies on the ground, with all the wounds from the previous attack re-opened in the renewed onslaught. Damn, I think, there goes my nails...

---

More or less, that's what happened on Saturday evening... :p Though as I said, I changed some of the words here and there to make the story more interesting, and to make him look more mousy. Hahaha... [should do some cartoons to accompany these stories next time]

Truth is, I'm at a disadvantage, since DF's angmoh is almost as good as mine. [i like to think it's almost as good, and not just as good. :p] The idiot beat me in GP by getting an A1 can??? And then went to Arts faculty somemore... blardy hell! Everytime he outtalks me in something, I moan that I should've chosen an Engine grad or someone at least with poorer debating skills than mine. (^^!) Screw me for a bad loser....

Never mind, when words fail me, I will always have my Claws of Death...

Oh, and I forgot to mention... I actually got an email from someone in the Health Promotion Board, saying they liked my illustrations and whether I could design and print stuff for them, but I had to decline, because of my upcoming fulltime job.

Someone find me a hard wall and direct my head towards it.........