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Thursday, February 05, 2004

Some Sober Reflection

I will never drink coffee late at night again
I will never drink coffee late at night again
I will never drink coffee late at night again

That's cos I drank an ice latte at this cafe, celebrating Quet's bday at about 10pm. It's now 4am and I'm still wide awake. Shit, I thought I was over all this already.

But that's not the sober reflection I was referring to in the title.

The piece below is something that I had been thinking about for a while, but couldn't really write it all here, cos it was just damn too long. Since I was so gawdamned awake tonight, [and those darn profs haven't emailed me the script which I was supposed to edit for them. hope they let me extend my deadline] I decided to finally work on it.

The idea for this little essay came to me, as I was walking home one day, having been *fired* by this family I was teaching. As I was walking home, I looked to the sky and asked myself if this was truly the path I wanted to take, with all its uncertainties and thorns along the way. I considered my dreams and ambitions in life, my needs and wants, and I found my answer in the clear blue sky. I went home, I read Paulo Coelho's Eleven Minutes [Good book! Good book!] and it gave me further insight and reflection into my situation. After I had finally decided it in my heart, the agency called me again to say that the family had decided to hire me back. Whether this is divine providence or not... I'm not too sure, but I feel there has to be some holy agency working its way in this. [and for that I'm thankful] The whole experience and my reflections on it became a whole essay which was too lengthy to be put on this blog, so I created a separate webpage for it. [chalk up another one for the portfolio]

So Here's To Dreams, Paths, and the Clear Blue Sky. Hope it proves insightful to anyone out there.


Monday, February 02, 2004

Defences Down

As usual, the pix disappeared....... click on the link guys......

They crept up on me unknowingly. While my back was turned, they pounced up on me, pinned me down, and ravaged me from all corners, leaving streaks of fluid running down my face and making me huddle in my room at night, afraid to go out any longer.

Goddamned flu virus.

And no, I haven't got the bird flu. ( At least I think it's highly unlikely ) I think it's more of the ordinary strain that goes around from time to time. [Well I haven't been near any poultry farms anyway] Not bloody surprising considering the number of times I have had to go out in the heavy, pouring rain the past few days. Umbrellas are bloody useless when it comes to deluges such as those too. No matter what, you're bound to get wet somewhere.

*ACHOO!* [runs to toilet for tissue]

TOday I have a sore throat, [comes from eating too much murruku and downing alcohol to wash it down] and my voice has effectively broken like a boy on the verge of impending manhood. I'm a man. I'm so proud of myself. I can't even mew a greeting to the cats round my estate. The pitch is too high and when I try to do so, nothing comes out.

I also have a nose that is badly in need of a plumber. It leaks incessantly and I have to run to the toilet every now and then to plug the leak. Bloody, bloody hell. And even in this condition, I'm considerably better than yesterday, when I had a fever on top of the whole shebang.

Can't stand this. Healthy most of the time, but when I get sick, I get the whole package. It's like a family deal or something.

On a more sunny side, I have a new tuition assignment. This time 2 indonesian boys, 2X a week, eng math sci and whatever they need help in. ($$$) Hope this one doesn't drop me once again. The kovan kid dropped me today, after I called him repeatedly the day before to ask him when he wanted me to come for tuition this week. Of course, he didn't bother to tell me anyway. Called the house, called the guardian, no reply. Finally the guardian called me this morning to say he didn't want tuition anymore, and that she'd meet me another time to pay me for the times I came.

Frankly ma'am, I'm almost at the point where I don't care about the payment anymore. I just want out.

So in a way, the arrival of the 2 indon boys was pretty good timing. Hope nothing goes wrong, nothing goes wrong. [crosses fingers and toes] Though after these 2 assignments, I'm pretty much not too impressed with the way the Singaporean guardians handle their charges. I mean, from the example of the kovan kid and this 2 boys, it seems that the guardians are just there to supply food and lodging and sign their consent forms for them. I went to the 2 boys' house, and it turns out that the guardian never even told them that I was supposed to come today. Gee what a surprise.

These are kids, living in a foreign country, for the first time. And the impression I have is that the guardians are only interested in the income from the kids, and not much else. The kovan kid's guardian had 4 Thai boys in her house, including him. The 2 indonboys live in an apartment with 3 other boys, and the guardian lives in an apartment 2 floors down. Who's responsible if something happens? It was pretty clear, even after 2 lessons, that the kovan kid's guardian couldn't do anything to him in the way of discipline. The kid's a 15 year old troublemaker and on top of that she has to take care of 3 other boys. If someone beats him up one day and chucks his body into the drain, [i must admit, i have been sorely tempted to do so] who's responsible? If something happens to the indonboys in the flat, can they take care of themselves? They're prob around 16 or 17 and they're in a foreign country. What happens if something happens?

I'm getting pretty prejudiced against these so-called guardians, by the 2 I've seen. My chinagirl, on the other hand, came with her mother. [yup, the pei du mama we've heard so much about] So at least she has someone who's genuinely concerned about her welfare. These others, they don't seem to have anyone. The guardians are more like landlords. Worse still, like the godown owners of yore who'd hire coolies off the harbours as they came in from China.

Ok, getting too prejudiced here. I'd teach the boys for a while more and see how everything goes. After the AMK fiasco, I hope I don't get suddenly dropped from this one.