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Thursday, October 07, 2004

Love is a stranger thing than I thought...



After talking to a couple of my friends about a) boyfriend problems b) parents-of-the-boyfriend problems c) singlehood problems and d) what I should finally do about Dragonfly, the above title is the conclusion that I have come to.

Love, is a strange, strange thing.

I recently found a book at the library titled, "Love at First Sight", published by DK. Not a trashy romance novel, but a informative book about what kind of people we would find attractive, and why we find them attractive.

The book states 3 theories on why we find some people attractive.

1) Echoism - People whose features harmonise our own are deemed more attractive.
2) Harmonism - People whose features are symmetrical are deemed more attractive.
3) Patronism Copulist- People whose features are most similiar to the first bond in our lives are deemed more attractive. So, for example, if you were close to your mom when you were young, you would look for someone similiar in features to her.

Pretty interesting no? The book was even chock-full of pictures of celebrity couples, comparing which couple would make it, and which wouldn't.

So apparently, our decision on finding a mate depends rather heavily on these unconscious perceptions of people's faces. Because your brain already has a checklist in it, every time you look at someone to check out their potential [or beoh them, to put them in plain terms] you're actually subsconsciously ticking off those items on your mental checklist.

However, compatibility obviously goes beyond the physical. We also check out a person's sensation-seeking levels, as mentioned in a previous post. According to that other study, couples who have the same level of sensation-seeking are more likely to stay together longer. This is because their sense of adventure, or exploration, mirrors each other. They are more likely to be more communicative with each other, and open-minded with each other.

And then you have the other societal cues that are also indoctrinated in us from birth. Our [potential] husband must be able to support the family, pull in a good salary, be faithful and loyal, be a good father, and generally help with the housework. All these also stem from primitive urges, very caveman-like.

We think of ourselves as a civilised people, but we never realise how caveman-like we still are at heart. Because women are the ones who carry the child through pregnancy, they are also the only ones who are sure that the child is theirs. Hence, they have a stake in caring for the child, because that's the only way their genes will get passed down. That's also why, through the years, women have also been delegated the household chores, and the rearing of the children. Because they are positive of the 'ownership' of the child.

Men, however, can never be 100% certain that the child is theirs, because they didn't give birth to it. [well, er, nowadays, they can more or less be, due to DNA testing] Thus, they feel less of a need to participate in the long term care of the child. It pretty much depends on how the man feels is the best way to sow his wild oats, and hence pass on his genes. He can either f**k as many women as he wants, hereby ensuring a number of offspring bearing his genes, or he can dedicate his time to one child, hereby ensuring that that child will survive to a ripe old age.

In this way, this is why young men are, well, so ready to spread the love. Because since they're young, their best chances of genetic survival is to spread the love around as much as possible, so that they have as many of their kids running around. And unfortunately, the instincts of the women they f**k are geared towards long term care. So men will tend to marry later and have kids, because by then, the chances of that kid surviving will be higher.

What an unfortunate match. But that's the way to keep the human race running.

So you see just how abysmally difficult it is to find a perfect match?
1) Your mate has to have the right set of features
2) Your mate has to have the same level of adventure as yourself
3) Your mate [for women] has to be old enough to want to devote themselves to long term childcare rather than massive spreading of sperm.

Complicating the matter are other things, like the human chemical makeup that gears everyone towards sex. Dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and the usual estrogen/testosterone, all running around in our blood, urging us to go forth and f**k. All the while with the above subconscious cues wired in our brain.

Let's not talk about the esoteric part yet, which brings in the zodiacs, western and eastern, the 8 characters, the palms and others...

Let's also not talk yet about the implications for homosexuality, asexuality, transexuality, whatever-sexuality.

And we see

Just wat a blardy f**ked up thing love is.

*Sigh*

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Yenn: Postcards done. And these look much better than the previous ones. :) I think I'll stick to the style of white background with colourful animals. Looks nice and doesn't gimme as many heart attacks while printing...

These are how the cards look after printing: [cheap promotional gimmick]





Quet: does this look like your cat?? I tink I've gone the colour wrong again... :p

Don't disturb.

And a new one... the Doncare Cat...

He looks pissed off, doesn't he?

Yea yea I know I haven't been updating. *whine* Reasons for this include:

1) Increased lessons and worry over students' exams. During this week, I have 2 PSLE kids, [one of whom happily broke his left arm 2 weeks ago] 1 N' Level student, who, whenever she does an accounts exercise, breaks up into a frenzy. Her favourite lines are, "I'm so gonna die for my exam" and "I hate maths/accounts"

Sometimes I feel like my job includes teenage counselling and motivation.

2) Total lack of inspiration. It is as if the wells of my talent dried up with the rain. Anyone noticed, the weather in Singapore has been FANTASTIC again? Clear blue skies, fluffy white clouds, and the most amazing afternoon winds... but total dearth of artistic inspiration. Bleah. Maybe it was the misery of the rainy weather that inspired me... damn...

All right, all right... excuses excuses... but I tried... *whine*

Anyway, something off the tracks a bit, which I pinched from Slayer

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE ME:
01. The sight of my finger bleeding. For some reason, a pin prick on my finger tips has the power to make me nauseous, giddy, lose partial sight, and all blood from my face. This is easily verified by Quet and the rest.
02. Heights. Ironic, considering I live on the top floor, but it's more to do with whether I feel a sense of stability or not. Hence, looking down from my balcony, with a solid concrete wall is perceived safe. Standing in the middle of the skybridge at KLCC is DEFINITELY NOT perceived safe.
03. Dying a cold, lonely old maid, and having my body discovered days later by neighbours, after it has been gnawed through by my cats.

THREE PEOPLE WHO MAKE ME LAUGH:
01. Stupid people
02. Funny people
03. People who think they're funny, but in actuality are being stupid. [although some may say I come into this category myself]

THREE THINGS I LOVE:
01. Friends
02. Cats
03. Art

THREE THINGS I HATE:
01. Stupid people who hurt other people. Terrorists, psychos, fanatics all come under this category.
02. People who think that I'm not a productive member of society because I don't work at a desk and contribute to CPF. Hey people, heard of 'tolerating differences'?
03. People who think they can push me around to make themselves feel big. Just because I don't react back doesn't mean I'm taking it silently. I'm actually plotting your murder in advance. [Beware the quiet ones...]

THREE THINGS ON MY DESK: [Oh freak, there's way more rubbish on it than these 3]
01. Laptop - Old faithful, though I don't always use him much now
02. Books - comics I've read, books I've read, and other books I intend to read.
03. Photos - of friends lah, then?

THREE THINGS I'M DOING RIGHT NOW:
01. Doing this quiz
02. Listening to music on radio
03. Chatting with Quet and Candle

THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
01. Find a boyfriend - Gimme some of that lovin' feelin'...
02. Become an acclaimed artist. Doesn't matter whether graphic, comic or artist.
03. Travel the world

THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
01. Eat
02. Drink
03. Sleep

THREE WAYS TO DESCRIBE MY PERSONALITY:
01. Crappy [this is probably popular opinion among my friends...]
02. Indecisive [oh, you should see me when I'm thinking of what to eat for lunch...]
03. Unique [Isn't everyone?]

THREE THINGS I CAN'T DO:
01. Cartwheels
02. Pushups
03. Bungee jumping. *shudder*

THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
01. Good advice [subjective though]
02. The Voice of God, especially if you notice all time has stopped around you, or a bush is mysteriously burning in front of you.
03. Music. How can one ever live without it?

THREE THINGS I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO EVER:
01. Bad advice
02. The Voice of Satan. Bad idea, and never sign your soul away.
03. Noise. Why damage your ears further?

THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST:
01. Fuck
02. Shit
03. Oh my god
[Damn, why are they are swear words?]

THREE OF YOUR ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE FOODS:
01. Potatoes. Atkins will so turn over...
02. Fresh, raw salmon. Oh god love that succulent pinkish flesh..
03. Haagen Dasz's tiramisu ice cream. *food orgasm*

THREE THINGS YOU'D LIKE TO LEARN:
01. French
02. Violin
03. Why some people are so stupid

THREE BEVERAGES YOU DRINK REGULARLY:
01. Water. Sky Juice.
02. Ice lemon tea.
03. Green tea.

THREE SHOWS YOU WATCHED WHEN YOU WERE A KID:
01. Cartoons.
02. Channel 8 dramas
03. [er, that's about it. I spent most of my childhood reading comics...]

RANDOM QUESTIONS:
1. Spell your name backwards - htalehk [wat the heck for??]
2. How did you get your livejournal name? Er, I'm on Blogger, but anyway, at the time I was starting the blog, I was bored, I like to slack.... *TINK!*