Loving My Curves

Usually, I like to blog about creativity, craft or art but today, a different kind of article caught my attention in the January 2017 issue of Real Simple Magazine.

This is Rosaliz Jimenez, 42, photo director at a celebrity fashion magazine. You would notice that she’s not a supermodel, in fact, she’s considered plus-sized in the US.

Her story is the one that caught my eye. Like all fat people, she struggled with her weight and her self-esteem. Then one day, she noticed a strange lump on her neck. The diagnosis turned out to be cancer and it progressively got worse, till even after all the cancer treatment was over, she was hit with gallstones and her gall bladder had to be removed. 😱

Why did her story attract me? For one, having been fat nearly all my life, (with one brief respite during puberty) I can identify with her when she says “no one bullied me the way I bullied myself”. It sucks when you can hardly shop for clothes because none of the shops carry your size. Or when you are surrounded by visual reminders everywhere that people should look like supermodels. Even walking on the street reminds you that there are plenty other ordinary people who are not fat.

Worse still is your inner critic, convincing you that all this is your fault and that you are a failure for being this way, a lesser being than all the other size-0s out there. Even if you are already dieting and exercising, you are still a failure because you are still not a size-0 after all that effort. It seems to doom you to being a fat slob for the rest of your life.

I struggled with that inner critic like every fat and skinny woman on this planet but made peace with my body and self-image a long time ago. But, as life went on and I did more interesting stuff and met people who wanted to befriend me despite my size, I accepted that I had many other strengths to define me as a person other than my figure. ( Plus that I wasn’t willing to give up chips for the rest of my life in exchange for the perfect body 🍟) Her story though reminded me how important self-love for your body is.

Let us love ourselves, body and soul before such a medical calamity befalls us. Cancer (or other debilitating illnesses, for that matter) does not differentiate between S, M, L or XXL. Does it have to take such a diagnosis before one realizes that there are a lot more important stuff than whether you can fit into a bikini or not? Even if you are lucky never to get so ill, it is important to appreciate that there are other things your body can do regardless of fat or not.

Thinking of this made me think up this list:

Why I Love My Fat-Ass Body

1.   I’m fat but strong

I know this from the weight-lifting routines I’ve done at the gym. I also know this whenever I lift a backpack full of stuff or a load of students’ books. I’m strong enough to do all this when other slimmer women would have faltered.

2.   I have good shoulders

There are dozens of ways women have come up to beautify their bodies. Hair can be cut. Makeup can be put on. Facial features and even height and weight can be surgically changed. As of yet, though, I’ve yet to see a surgery that can give a woman a good, solid broad set of shoulders that makes all the difference when wearing sleeveless tops.

We pay so much attention to our waistlines we forget there are other parts of the body to be appreciative for. Our shoulders. Our legs which lift us up every time. Long fingers and nails. A wide smile and a hearty laughter and eyes that twinkle in sincere delight.

3.   I’ve recovered fairly well from past illnesses and traumas

I wonder if science will ever prove that fat can act as a padding against minor flus and colds. I’m very blessed that I don’t get sick that often and when I do, I know that it’s only a temporary phase with some medication before good health comes again. I'm also blessed that I've never had serious illnesses or injuries apart from a sprained ankle. 

4.   I’ve had a fairly good pregnancy

Before getting pregnant, I had heard plenty of horror stories about morning sickness, cravings, hormonal horror changes, bleeding… Then when I finally got pregnant, I had… none of them. Yes, I’ve had the usual aches and pains but I haven’t had anything so serious that I couldn’t function in normal everyday life or that made me fearful for the life of my baby. I can only thank my fat ass for that. My recovery after birth was also quite good and by the end of the confinement month I felt back to normal with no complications. I even regained my pre-pregnancy weight.

Are there things about my body I would want to change? I still would like to fit into an M at Zara and one day wear a bikini without people gacking, but then I look over this list I’ve written. I’m not sure I would want to give up all this just to look good in clothing. 

I do have days when I think of putting a bit more effort into my clothes and shoes and sometimes I do think about putting on a touch of makeup. Then I think of the time it would take to choose and put on the makeup, plus the time and money needed to shop for nice clothes and shoes. With the stuff I want to do, I would rather race out of the house earlier to live my life than spend it on makeup, regardless of how short a time it takes. Beauty truly is skin deep after all. When I die, I would want people to celebrate the things I’ve done, rather than just look at the nice makeup and clothes on my dead body. 

If you are inspired and curious about Rosaliz, you can read the article and watch a video on Rosaliz by clicking the handy link here.

#outofthepagesiread - 3 Steps to Mastering Any Subject

It's been a heck of a hiatus after Christmas and New Year, but now that it's officially 2017, time to get working again, especially on the blog! Maintaining the blogging habit has become even more important to me now since we are expecting the little chick to hatch in about a month or two. If I can (hopefully, desperately, crossing my fingers) maintain this blog even during my maternity, I have better hopes of maintaining and even growing it till my chick grows up. Till then, I will just do what little bit I can!

So I'm starting again with #outofthepagesiread and the article I have chosen is apt for anyone who has a new year resolution to learn something new. 

The original article was published on Quartz and I have included a handy link for it right here. What it describes is the Feynman technique, named after physicist Richard Feynman, and on first read, it seems ridiculously easy. 

In a nutshell...

To learn anything, you would need to do three steps:
1. Teach it to a child
2. Review your learning
3. Organize and simplify
(Don't be lazy, read the original article for more details. It's not that hard, trust me)

Does it work? I tried this method last year when I was learning French on my own. Step 1 seems easy but ho boy, try explaining French verbs in a child-like manner @_@ tres difficile! This took some cracking of brain veins because in order to do this, I had to read the very-adult-jargon-like explanation in my book several times before I could rephrase it to myself as if I was a seven-year-old. The hard part about it is that even when I could do so, I wasn't sure I had explained it correctly after the rephrasing. 

This is a powerful step, to be sure, in understanding any subject, but to be really sure of yourself, I think you would need some kind of mentor or study buddy to make sure that you are on the right track. 

It worked more when I was learning photography though, because that was a concept I was more familiar with. For example, when I was trying to make myself remember the concept of apertures, I imagined the light beaming through small circles and big circles. Putting it in the form of a visual aid that I might have drawn on the whiteboard to a class of kids worked better for this. Also, because I understood what an aperture was and I had seen it many times on my camera, it was easy to rephrase this concept. 

So the key to the first step is understanding. A solid understanding of what you are trying to learn will help you in teaching it to someone who doesn't. If you learning something with a lot of technical jargon, you can try reading a simpler version of it to build your understanding first. Also, you might want to consult someone who is already very knowledgeable about it.

Steps 2 and 3 are much easier and puts me more in mind of how we used to cram for our final exams. Methods may vary, though. I found it easier to put everything on a colourful mind map to see the big picture. Others may prefer other forms of organization. Plus, I realized that I learnt better by writing stuff down on paper while other people may prefer Evernote or other note-taking apps. To each his own in this and you will have to explore a bit to find out what works for you. 

So overall...

I find the method easy to remember and doable. It might work for some subjects better than others, but you should still be able to apply it to most things you want to learn. Good luck with your New Year resolutions! 

Source:

I read about this method through Jocelyn K. Glei. She writes about creativity and productivity and she produces a weekly email newsletter with great content. This is a link to her website and you can sign up for the newsletter there too.

Time for a New Way to Live

Over breakfast today, I found myself reading 2 things with seemingly contrasting ideas.

First, over my daily dose of Facebook news, I read an article about Singapore being the new Sick Man of Asia. The main points of the article were that Singapore's growth was slowing down and this was likely to be the 'new normal' for us, as other SEA countries played catch-up. We would not likely see the kind of growth that our parents experienced ever again and indeed, our millennials expressed more worry at their financial future.

Then, I switched to more analogue reading material, in the form of Thrive, by Arianna Huffington. (This is the Goodreads page on her book) Huffington's book talks about how stress and overwork are taking its toll on us and that it was time to redefine our life on metrics other than money and power. 

After reading the more pessimistic article though, you might think that Huffington's views seem to come from a privileged tower of wealth. She is already swimming in money and power, after all, by our humble standards. It's easy for her to be telling us that we shouldn't be working so hard and that we should take time off to spend on the things we love. She doesn't have to worry about falling growth, falling employment, and her CPF retirement fund possibly being locked away even after her death. 

I thought a bit more over my teh tarik and I had a startling idea: Maybe this period of slow growth is exactly the right time to put forward some of these ideas. It has been clear for a while now in Singapore that the old ways of success, namely money and status, have not been as easy to reach as in our grandparents' era. Where before you could be assured of both if you practically sold your soul and maybe even your firstborn, it is becomingly increasingly difficult to do so now. You could expend all your energy into your work till the day you die and when crisis strikes? Left without a word of thanks.

Our private sector has already seen rounds of layoffs and one of the hardest hit segments have been middle managers, who typically are already in their 40s, have families with young children and yet find it the hardest to secure employment. No honour among companies, it seems. 

So why do I think it is a good time for the Third Metric? If the old ways are not suiting us well in the new economy, then it could be time for a new way of living. The main reason: Money and Power are masters that do not reward. We have already seen that the more we pursue money and power, the more we do so at risk to our own well-being. Also, unlike the old days, Money and Power are fickle mistresses. They do not reward like they used to and are all too willing to dump us when it suits them. So is it time to ditch those goals and find others that do? 

We are already seeing this in various sectors. There are already people who have left high-powered jobs to open cafes or Carousell accounts to make a living off their hobbies. They readily admit that they do not make as much money as they used to, and some are even busier than they used to be, but most are satisfied that they took a step to fulfil a dream. 

See, here's the idea I'm trying to drive at: If by selling your soul to pursue Money and Power, you are not able to catch them anyway, why even bother? Instead, could it be more worth to pursue other goals like well-being and happiness and in the process, earn enough money to sustain yourself? 

For us Singaporeans, this might require several rounds of rewiring. For one, the idea about our BTO being our investment that we can sell off after 5 years has to change into it being our home that we can live in for a great many years. The idea that our children have to be in enrichment centres to 'keep up with the rest' has to change. The idea that we need to be in certain schools, certain jobs, have a certain level of high income has to change. Simply because that model is no longer the guarantee to success like it used to be. 

For us to survive in the New Normal Economy, we really have to ditch the old ways of thinking about success and redefine what it really means to live a successful life. 

[PS, the Internet being what it is nowadays, I am aware that there are some trolls who will sneer that I am only able to write these words because of my privileged class status and that I don't know what it really means to suffer like they are doing. If you hold such views, then this is not the blog for you.]

Experiences, not Acquisitions

Hi, I'm Aki Tan and I'm a hoarder.

I hoard books, not bears, by the way...

The above picture is a small fraction of the burgeoning collection of books and magazines that is threatening to bring down my bookshelf. I have a box of craft materials that is not very used. I have rolls and rolls of washi tape and files of scrapbooking paper. 

Why do I have so much stuff? Well, partly it's GAS = Gear Acquisition Syndrome. The term is more commonly used for tech gear but in this case, I think the same applies to the books, magazines and craft materials that I have.

Which is why I read (and re-read) the articles in Flow Issue 5 with interest. There were 2 articles which I felt spoke directly to hoarders keen for rehab. In one of the articles, "How Great Small Can Be", Alain de Botton wrote:

"Why, then, if expensive things cannot bring us remarkable joy, are we so powerfully drawn to them?... Because expensive items can feel like plausible solutions to needs we don't understand."

So it becomes easier to buy something than to do serious soul-searching to find out what is it we're missing. After all, it only takes a walk to the store and an opening of the wallet. And research has also proven before that impulse buys can indeed bring a high level of satisfaction. (A Google brings up a list of research, I have chosen to link this one: Effects of Impulse Purchases on Consumers' Affective States.) 

This is true for me, for the craft materials at least. When I moved into my new house, I had a whole room which I used as a study/studio. With all that space to play with, I suddenly found myself able to buy and store all the paper I ever wanted, and paper being paper, of course took up space. I couldn't bear to use all the stuff I bought, though, 'cause what if I wanted to use it for another project? What if I used it and it didn't turn out right?

I acquired and acquired and one day, I realized, they become 'plausible solutions to needs' that I didn't understand fully yet. I wanted to Make Good Art, and so I bought all those things thinking that I would some day. But my real need wasn't to buy materials, it was to actually do stuff with them.

It took a lot of acquiring before I realized that the only thing I was doing was collecting materials but yet I had nothing to show for all the buying I was doing. At some point, I told myself, that's it, now it's time to start making. 

And when I started making, this led to another kind of satisfaction, which was the kind that authors Botsman and Rogers (What's Mine is Yours: The Rise of Collaborative Consumption) referred to. 

"We want to fulfil our needs with the material or experience that these products offer." Yes, the experience from the products, not the products itself. 

This is a good reminder every time I am tempted by something new. I ask myself: Am I more interested in buying the book? Or reading it? Do I want to make art, or buy paint? The reminder here is that what we are really interested in is the experience that comes from the product. If the experience can be had with something already in possession, then further purchase is unnecessary. Even if acquisition is necessary, sites like Carousell can help one to buy something secondhand and usable instead of buying a new items.

Nowadays, I let myself be a bit more free when I use the materials, since it's clear that I have nearly a lifetime of craft materials hoarded away. Do I get tempted now and then? Of course I do, and I do end up buying some more stuff. The difference is now I give myself more permission to use and misuse the things I buy, so as to continue to gain the benefit of experience rather than the short-lived one of acquisition. There were times when I wasted some stuff by making some real fugly things, but I was also rewarded at many other times with something that just looked good. It is those times I look forward to, because those remind me what life's experiences are all about. They are about experiences and not products. 

 

Move Forward #throwbackanyday

You know how spring cleaning is done? You clean up the mess accumulated from the previous year and you throw out anything you reckon you don't need anymore. Well, I've had to do the same to my Dropbox account lately because I reached the maximum 2.5gb alloted to me in my free account. -_-!!! 

While looking through the account, I realized that many of them came from the Camera Uploads folder. Now, this is what happened one day. I accidentally pressed something and agreed to something and suddenly the photos folder in my iPhone started uploading everything into my Dropbox! I tried to stop it but before I did so, I had a ginormously inflated folder and there went my limit. -_-!!!!!!

Now on sick leave, I thought I'd go through the photos and decide which could be deleted and which deserved a second chance on the Internet. Outdated photos of events long gone were easy to delete, as were photos of anything to do with work.

Harder to delete were photos of friends, good times, holidays though... sigh.

In between the two categories were photos that I could delete, but I felt there were more that could be done with them before I did so. These were inspirational sayings, recipes, tips that I had saved from magazines and other sources (Yea, yea, hoarder instinct) So the idea came about for a #throwback blog entry. What if I blogged about them, then deleted them? I would then save them for another online life and maybe get some reflective value out of them as well. 

I didn't want a #throwbackthursday because I didn't like to commit myself to a specific day for no reason (yea, yea, slacker instinct) so I thought I'd create a #throwbackanyday so that I could do it on any day I wanted. *yea*

So this is the first pic I found, one of the very earliest:

Source: iPad edition of the O magazine. (I'm sorry, I totally forgot which issue! If you recognize it, let me know so I can credit it!) 

The message simply appealed to me, a reminder to just, move forward and appreciate and be grateful for the simple beauty in every day life. This is something a lot of us fail to do as oftentimes, we just head onto our daily commute, stuck to our phones and we miss out a lot on life as it goes by.

We say that we don't have the time to take a long cycle, as maybe the guy in the photo is doing. Well, how about then appreciating what you see around you? The sunrise as you walk to the station? The people around you? Look up from your own screen and you'd be amazed at how many people are stuck in their own. What stories can they tell? What can you make up about them? 

Even after work, instead of walking through a mall, walk somewhere where there's trees, sun and light. Instead of the Orchard underpass, walk above ground instead. Did you ever notice how large the trees were? Did you ever hear the birds cawing in the trees? (and run for cover before they shat on you?)

Chances are you never noticed these. That's because in order to do so, you have to go. You have to actually go outside and really look and observe what's around you. 

What I took away from this paragraph are two small things that people can do to make their lives a bit happier. 1 - Life is better spent outside and 2 - To notice the nature around you. It reminds me that even in an urban jungle, there are pockets of beauty to be found as long as we look for it. :)

What can we do then?
- On your next commute, instead of opening Facebook or Youtube, put on some headphones and really look at the people around you. What do you think they are doing? Why are they doing it? What do you think drives them? 

- When you find yourself in a mall, head outside instead. What nature do you see around you? What is the weather like? How does it make you feel?

- As you do these two, here comes probably the harder part: What good can you see around you? What can you give thanks for around you?

Collective Hub #outofthepagesiread

One of the magazines I've picked up this year is Collective Hub. I found this magazine in a cafe and flipping the first few pages got me hooked enough that I went searching for it at various bookstores around SG. Too bad I couldn't finish that issue before my brunch!

A brief about the magazine, according to their website:

"Collective Hub covers business, design, technology, social change, fashion, travel, food, film and art."

But it was their philosophy that I felt was well carried out in their pages:

OUR PHILOSOPHY

We are insatiably curious, naturally collaborative and uniquely creative.Collective Hub exists to foster and empower a community of people to live their best lives at work and in play. We offer pragmatism and inspiration in equal measure to help create a world of dreamers and doers.

The magazine features a variety of creative entrepreneurs and managers working in various fields. There does seem to be a creative focus to it as well. The June issue which I managed to find has various art inserts, some with inspirational sayings that appeal to the Piscean in me. Like this one from Terry Pratchett:

"Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colours."

True to its philosophy, it also comes with practical advice as well. For one feature, there are interviews with nomad entrepreneurs and tips on how they made it work, useful for anyone who works best outside an office.

What I found most inspiring, though, were their features. Interviews with various entrepreneurs who went off the beaten path, discovering their own dreams and journeys in life. And I think this is one of the most powerful parts of the magazine.

Because it gives me this thought: Why aren't I doing that? Why aren't I doing all these cool stuff that other people are doing? Why didn't I think of that first? Why didn't I make the first move that these people did?

And even if I managed to answer these questions satisfactorily, another pops up: What then, am I doing about it?

So this is the more powerful aspect of the magazine for me, that it inspires me, that it makes me reflect, rethink and look back on my life and that it gives me hope for the future that it doesn't always have to be what everyone else says it is. 

The magazine is a monthly publication but Kinokuniya unfortunately doesn't bring in many copies, probably due to low popularity. Please start asking for it more at the bookstore so that they bring in more!

How to Take Restful Breaks #outofthepagesiread

For #outofthepagesiread this time, I'm reviewing an online article I read from 99u.com. This article was about how to take truly restful breaks from work that would truly energize you instead of making you more tired.

The headline appealed to me at once because I'm reaching a kind of peak point at work. At this time of the year, the marking peaks and I end up having to bring more work home to finish. This on top of the admin stuff as well. 

So what the article advocates is pretty surprising. Most people would think that in such a scenario, faced with looming piles of paper, one just has to buckle up and get everything done in one sitting in order to enjoy later. However, research found that this method would wreck the most psychological damage on you. A quote from the article reads:

"The psychological reality is that your mental and physical reserves are limited and it is only by taking frequent short breaks of a truly restful nature that you will fulfil your true potential."

Thinking back on how I handled large piles of marking, I find that this could be true in several ways. One, stress accumulates from sitting down for long periods marking or doing work, especially with the number of mistakes found. -_-!!! Two, after a long period of work, I find myself too tired to do other activities that would otherwise enrich me. Who has not felt too tired to go to the gym after a long day at work? Or ended up sitting on the couch potato-ing in front of the television? In the end, even after getting the work done (or in worse cases, the work may not even be finished yet!) you find that you have not really accomplished anything you wanted in life. 

The article recommends several ways to get around this:

1. Fully switch off
2. Take frequent short breaks from work
3. Get out of the office

I tried no.2 when I was marking at home and it does help. After marking around 10 or so worksheets, I would get up from my desk to go to the toilet, get a glass of juice, talk to husband. Sometimes, I worked on my diary project. I found that after I finished marking, I was less tired and lethargic. (Could have been the effect of the juice...) 

I have also tried no.3 on some occasions when I brought papers out of school to mark at my favourite cafe. The change of environment works too and I was less stressed by the mistakes I marked. Not only that but being in a different environment also meant that I could look forward to walking around or shopping after I was done, a good motivation to finish the work! 

Funny thing about work is that our society always seems to give the message that to be crazily busy is an honourable thing. It is a badge of honour to be able to tell people you are busy. If you don't believe me, next time you are around people, try telling them about taking breaks and long weekends doing nothing. You will probably be met with replies like "Oh, but I'm so busy..." 

But in the end, where does it lead? Long lists of unfulfilled dreams, places to go, things to try. I always think, would I really regret on my dying bed that I didn't spend more time at work? (If I got fired, maybe I would...) Or would I regret that I didn't travel, didn't learn new instruments, languages, new skills...?

It is an interesting article with points to make one think. I highly recommend it for those who feel they come home too tired from work every day.

You can read the full article here.

Want to read other similar articles? I recommend this writer's website. She also has a mailing list that I subscribe to:

Jocelyn K Glei

Wanting more for others #outofthepagesiread

This month's Psychology Today magazine has a striking quote, not in its articles ironically, but in the editor's note. The editor describes a quote that one of the columnists made which never made it to print:

"You cannot want more for others than they want for themselves."

I found this striking because for one, I felt this was what I did every day at work... hahaha... Pushing kids to do their work whether they wanted to or not. But then the editor makes a broader observation from this:

"To want something "more" or different for people is potentially to misunderstand them... it fails to acknowledge an essential otherness."

We do this all the time to varying degrees. We get it at an early age, when our parents start telling us which course of study we should take because it gives a better paycheck and then it comes in varying degrees from the people around you, like your friends or your colleagues or your superiors. I personally experienced this when I was suggested a career path that so widely dovetailed with my character and my personal goals that yes, I realised my superior had completely failed to 'acknowledge my essential otherness'. 

How do we know we are doing this? I think one way to tell is by how much we listen as opposed to how much we speak. In order to know how different other people are from us, we have to really listen to them with empathy and truly understand the shoes they stand in before we are qualified to give them advice. 

We also have to leave them to make their own decisions in life. The world is wide enough to sustain a variety of paths and it's not just your own that is necessarily the best for everyone. True concern doesn't always mean that you dictate the path of others but that you support them on the decision they make. Even if you feel they are heading towards disaster. (However, I will make exceptions for decisions that involve suicide or the death and destruction of others for obvious reasons)

The editor's last quote is one that should stay with us:

"Better to focus on the person who is most difficult to see - the only one over whom it is possible to exert control."

Rather than focus on others, focus on oneself instead. We are the one who is most able to control our own fate but yet we are the least capable of seeing ourselves as we really are, with our strengths and our failings. Yet what right do we have to want more for others if we are unable to develop ourselves towards our own goals? Imagine a teacher trying to convince her students of the importance of studying, yet failing to complete her own assignments for her post-graduate course because she watches TV! (No, this does not apply to me...)

A striking quote indeed, and one that reminds me to focus on my own goals for self-development and to hold myself accountable to myself. 

But yet, at the same time, yes, I will still force the kids to do the work in school. :p  

Small Changes

#outofthepagesiread

One magazine I love buying is Flow magazine. Published by 2 Dutch ladies and translated into English, it has articles on simple living, features on creative artists and comes with beautiful paper goodies, yay :) 

The current issue has an article on small changes that spoke to me.

Many people have big dreams stemming from current dissatisfactions. When we are dissatisfied with our house, job or partner, we make big dreams for ourselves in which we shed off all vestiges of our previous life and start afresh. So we might sell the house and move to a hut in Bali, or break up with the partner and move to France to find a new lover. 

Of course, once I read this, I immediately saw myself in it. Because every time I face a tough time at work, or I find myself dragged out of bed before dawn, I wish that I was doing something different. I wish that I was running my own art school, or writing books or just being a jobless bum at home. 

Whether such solutions solve my problems or not does not feature in my fantasy, of course. That's the point of a fantasy after all, to make you feel better by letting you dream. 

The article gives a different idea: that you don't have to take such big steps to making yourself happy and that small steps can be enough. Not everyone can afford drastic steps in their life, or should either. While I don't like the responsibilities that come with my job, I also appreciate very much that the monthly paycheck pays for my house and food while letting me save towards the future! That is not something I might easily get should I decide to quit and write a book!

The dream image though may represent a certain longing that is not being satisfied in your current life. According to the Self-Determination Theory, there are 3 basic needs to be fulfilled to make yourself happier. They are:

1. Autonomy - The need to do it your own way
2. Relatedness - the need to feel connected to other people
3. Competence - the need to do something you are good at

Taking the example of my own life, why is it then I feel dissatisfied at my job? First, the autonomy needs are not met, because much of what I do with the kids are determined by others. The competence needs are not met, because the job requires much planning and meticulousness that I struggle with. And it being a big place, my relatedness needs are not met as well either.

This is also why quitting it all to work on creative pursuits also seems more appealing. I get to do things my own way, paint what I want, write what I want (autonomy). I can meet other likeminded people who share the same creative dreams (relatedness). I can do something I feel I am good at (competence). 

But I don't always have to quit it all in order to pursue these needs. Small changes can also be taken as well. I already pursue the competence need by writing and painting in my free time. I pursue the relatedness need by meeting with friends and blogging and posting photos on Instagram. 

The autonomy needs... ah, that's a tougher nut to crack. There are commitments of time here that need to be fulfilled. I can meet this sometimes by taking the afternoon off to go on a photowalk, for example, but it's not something I can do every day. 

Here, the article talks about thinking in terms of solutions. Rather than paying attention to what's wrong with my life, what can I do then to make it right?

The example given is that of a big miracle. Imagine a big miracle happened and I don't have to work any more. What would I do? 

Well, I can imagine long afternoons reading at the library, painting at home or exploring the town with my camera. 

Do I necessarily need to quit my job to do this? Actually, I don't. I can spend some afternoons doing these, but planning is required. I would need to plan in advance which days I can get away with leaving the marking at the desk or having nothing at all. Or maybe even play hooky sometimes, hehe. 

So there is a solution. The solution is to plan the days I want to do this and then make sure nothing in my afternoon interferes with this plan. And it is a solution that allows me to keep my job and my salary. 

My thoughts on this article is that it is a bit simplistic and optimistic at the same time. Simplistic because it's not as if a solution can be found to all of every one's problems. I'm lucky enough because I still have flexibility when it comes to my afternoons, but not everyone who is stuck working 9-5 has the same luck.

But yet, optimistic because it tells you that it is possible to find happiness in the littlest of things. It's not always that you have to make drastic changes to find happiness but if you are aware of what makes you happy, you can make small changes to work towards that happiness. It's something that I try to carry out on a weekly basis and I do see an overall increase in happiness when I did so. 

Here are the small steps to do the same:

1. Identify the needs you are lacking. Autonomy, relatedness or competence? Look at your big dream. What is it about it that appeals to you?
2. Create spaces to fulfill those needs in your life. Where can you make time for it? What steps would you need to take?
3. Think in terms of solutions, not problems. It's about what you can do, not how much it sucks.
(adapted from Flow magazine, Issue 14)

Out of the pages I read....

I'm a magazine buyer and hoarder. I love to browse the magazine racks to look for interesting articles and I don't mind spending money on some of the more expensive overseas publications. I do feel the money for the articles is worth spending on because of the quality of the writing. Many of them are also smart enough to manage their content so that what is published on paper is different from what is published online. 

And anyway, isn't it nicer to read on paper than on a screen? ;) 

But at the same time, I do wish that I could get more learning out of the magazines I read. I find sometimes that after reading, the magazine goes into a bag to be thrown away or given away. How would I know that I am retaining the information that I read or even applying them in real life?

So I thought of a plan, namely the

The 3-Stage Magazine Cycle (#outofthepagesiread for a nicer title)

Stage 1: Buy and read

The easiest stage of all, requiring the least effort, haha. 

Stage 2: Read and Do

The hardest stage, because this requires an action to derive something tangible. For the arty magazines like Daphne's Diary, Flow or Mollie Makes, this can be in the form of an art project. For magazines with stories like Frankie, this can be a piece of fiction. For non-fiction like Psychology Today, more essay-style articles. 

(Sounds easy, but the thought of the work involved sends me into shivers actually)

Stage 3: Sell

Just to extract that one last value, attempt to sell the magazine on Carousell and put some funds towards, er, the next magazine. :p Anyone who wants to support me in this step is welcome.......

Mind you, I prefer to do this for the more expensive foreign publications. I think local stuff like 8 Days is cheap enough for me to just read it la.

And another thing,

Why Do I Even Bother?

Firstly, I think it's a great way to get inspiration for art or writing projects. Some magazines like Daphne's Diary and Frankie have beautifully done pages and articles and there have been a number of times I have been inspired by what I read. But I don't always act on them and in the end, no product at the end. So it's a good way to exercise creative muscle.

Secondly, some of these magazines have great information that can't be found locally. Psychology Today has well-researched articles from universities and scientific institutions and it's all very up-to-date. This is information I want to share and remember and writing about it is one way to do so.

Thirdly, I'm hoping this would cut down on mindless magazine buying. Yes, the amount of money I spend on these publications is crazy, sometimes. Sometimes, I even find myself buying them simply because it's a habit to do so. I did this for Oh Comely, till one day, I realized the articles were inciting lesser interest in me and I decided to stop buying it altogether, unless a feature was particularly interesting. 

What's my chance of success?

Right now, I think the difficulty level is very high! Doing craft and writing takes time to do properly, and I'm not sure I can do enough activity at Stage 2 before I buy the next issue! Not only that, but from my short stint selling on Carousell, I also know that Stage 3 also takes up a fair amount of time! Would the money earned back be even worth the effort of trying?

Yet, 

The first reward only comes with the first step.

If I don't even make the first step to try because I was convinced it would utterly fail, I would not get anything at all. At least by starting on it, I can learn something out of it even if I fail miserably. At the very least, maybe it would make me think twice about indiscriminately buying more magazines.

And I already have the first reward, which is a blog article about the plan! Who knows if someone else would stumble onto it and get a great idea to do it? That'll be nice, to think that I passed a good idea along. :) 

So wish me luck! I'm going to start with the first article soon so I can get things done before the next issue comes out!