A day with a Friend and a "friend"

I was out in the coffeeshop yesterday morning, enjoying a nice breakfast of prata, teh ping, and a good book, when I heard a familiar clenching in my ovaries.

You know that feeling you get, when you hear the door bell ring, and you knock that the person on the other side is your dreaded great-auntie from gods-know-which-demented-side-of-the-family-tree who's about to stay at your house for one week, invading your privacy, taking over your bedroom, bathroom, and generally making a solid nuisance of herself?

Yea, that's the feeling I get when my cramps are about to start.

So I make my way back home, and just in time. Because after I step into my house and change, is when Great Aunty finally makes her grand entrance, demanding to be entertained.

ARGH ITAI..........

There's nothing for it but my Cure for Cramps. Which is basically to switch on the radio, and stumble into my bed, clutching my bolster in agony. And have imaginary conversations with my pain-wracked self.

Yo!



Oh god, you again



Yea, how've you been



Fine since you came along, godammit



Aw.... that's no way to treat a friend....


Some friend you are if this is all you can do for me


What.... i'm useful ok... I ensure the regularity of your monthly cycles, clear away the buildup in your ovaries, and generally make sure you're a healthy, living, sexual human female!


Thanks, but I don't feel like either of those at the moment.


Aw... don't be like that... tickle tickle tickle!


ARGH! DON'T DO THAT!


What, did that hurt?


WTBF DO YOU THINK? [you guys can go guess what that is]


Oh yea, how about this?


ARGH! KUSO YOU!


-ding dong-


Gee, is that someone at your door?


*Groan* Don't throw on hallucinations on top of what you've already thrown me


-yo aki-


[note: obviously my real name was used here, but for anonymity's sake...]


Hey! Someone's calling you!


Not listening to you not listening to you you're just screwing with my mind lalalala


-handphone rings-


Wah, now your handphone's ringing, someone's in demand yah?


*Groan again* Go away already....


Answer lah! Let's see who it is!


*Groan and wrenches body off the bed to reach for handphone* Hello?

Yenn: "Yo! Still in bed ah?"

Me: ugh

Yenn: "Having cramps ah?"

Me: egh. "Where are you now?"

Yenn: "Er, I'm outside your door."

Me: "Oh, ugh." - Pause - "WHAT????? ARGH! ITAI!"

Brother calls from balcony: "Jieh!"

I bend down from my window: "WHAT?"

Bro: "Your friend's here!"

He opens the door, and lo and behold here comes Yenn.

me: "I thought I told you I thought I couldn't make it??"

Yenn: "I thought you said maybe you could??"

me: "WOE did I sms you exactly?" Shit, did I sms the wrong thing in my pain-wracked mind?

Yenn: "er..............."

me: "Oh screw it, come on upstairs."

So I have to admit, all of the days I've gotten cramps, this is the first time someone has come to my house to 'tan ping' when I've gotten them.

Which, truth to speak, is a lot more better company than the one I had in the morning.

Oh, trust me, I'll be back.........

A hilarious parody of one of the world's most famous movies. Read it already. :) I hope the guy manages to continue with it, his art is good!

Random Cookie Bites

Here are a mixed sampling of the things that happened to me from the time of the last update. Note: This update had to be written with my head bent back on the chair and while i wasn't looking at the screen, on account of the terrible backaches and shoulderaches i've been having. I need a massage......

---

Let's play Spot The Mistake in these excerpts from my students' essays:

In a compo about Sports Day:

"My favourite event is the relay, where the runners have to pass the bacon to each other."

I think the relay just got a lot harder, if the runners now have to pass pigs to each other...

In a compre summary:

"The soldiers stabbed the dobies with their bayonets."

Dobies? They stabbed dobermans? Poor dogs.....

In another compo where he wrote from the POV of a tree:

"Unfortunately I got struck by lightning and now I was just a stud."

If getting struck by lightning can turn anyone into studs, I say all the men should just stand out there in open fields with

Really. I used to think that those old emails about wrongly written essays were something of a joke, and now I know that there are actual people out there who are capable of making these mistakes. And all in one day's worth of homework to boot. (^^!)

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On my hate list now:

Sonniere.net
SGmatch
that stupid popup with lara croft and other online games
Anything that tells me I can live and work in the USA.

I wonder why companies persist in using these popup ads for marketing, despite the very obvious fact that an increasing no of consumers are getting increasingly irritated by them. Doesn't it work against the company's image? that you're constantly reminding people why they hate your company so much? [not to mention, it keeps reminding them of your name, even if they forget who it is they hate]

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I had to go to Raffles Medical Centre at Bugis yesterday for the medical checkup before I went into NIE. And foolishly, I imagined that no one would go on a Monday morning at 10.

Foolish, baka me.

For the ENTIRE waiting room was full with people when I went there, on the dot at 10am. I gave my IC and forms to the nurse at the counter, who then told me to wait. So I chose a comfy chair, took out a book, read and waited.

And waited

And waited

And waited.

And mind you, this was before I even got my height and weight checked!

It was fully an hour before someone called for me and asked me to get a urine sample. So I took the little jar and went to the toilet.

Only to find out to my horror, that there were only 2 unisex cubicles serving the entire waiting room, which had something like 30-40 people waiting in it?

[which architectural genius designs a waiting room that holds 40 pple and then assigns 2 toilet cubicles to the entire space? Raffles medical have a potential spot for riots on hand...]

[n another thing: if you're a woman, it's bloody hard and bloody disgusting to have to try to catch your pee in a cup. 'nuff said.]

Then after they took my pee, it was another10 min wait before they took my height, weight, [yes I'm overweight. no need for any machine to tell me.] and my eyesight.

[funny thing about my eyesight. My left eye is terribly shortsighted, and when i covered my right to look at the number chart, I was aghast to discover I could hardly see the numbers on the row that the nurse was pointing to. then I switched to my right, and oh! Instant clarity!]

Then she told me to wait again, and so I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And waited.

By this time, I'd gotten a bit bored, so I decided to do something else and bio the people in the waiting room.

[look at the girl dress so lianish don think she's going to nie maybe smu eh that nurse mentioned nie the girl she's talking to must be a trainee teacher like me this guy don't look local maybe european probably some expat working here this lady look quite tai tai see the clothes she wear husband with her looks quite rich also man are they ever going to call my name]

After another 30 mins, my name was finally called and I was told to go to the Radiography for my xray. After going there, I handed in my forms at the counter there, and waited.

And waited

And waited

And waited.

Are you guys starting to see a pattern here?

Finally someone called me and asked me to change into another dressing gown. Then another wait before my xray was finally taken. I thought that was it.

Nope. It was another 20 min wait before I could change back into my clothes and get my xray report. ARGH! Of which I spent reading about the contrasting cultures of South Korea, in an Emirates magazine. [better than the Chinese female mag which was dated Oct 2004...]

So I got the report, went downstairs again, to the Health Check dept, handed it in to a nurse, who then, you guessed it! Asked me to WAIT. AGAIN.

Around now, I got pretty damn darn sian already, so I started initiating SMS conversations with Quet, Krystal, and Yen.

All the while waiting, waiting, waiting......................................

FINALLY I get taken to a doctor, who conducts a basic health check on me. The usual blood pressure, heartbeat, breast lumps etc... And the whole checkup takes 10 mins.

When everything's done, AGAIN i'm told to wait in the waiting room. For another 20 mins. Already fidgeting, thinking I'd have to take lunch alone instead of with Quet as I had planned. Then the nurse calls me again to the counter, and I go there dreading she's gonna ask me to take a blood test.

"Ok, here's your xray, and you can go now."

I can go?

I can go?

That's it? You made me wait there 20 mins to tell me that I could go?

WAH LAU EH SAITEI KITANAI KUSO BYOOIN

And in case you're wondering, minna san, the entire time that I was at Raffles was 10am to 1am. I spent 3 hours there, and only less than 1 hour in actual tests.

So I repeat: NEVER go for health check ups at 10 in the morning. Even if you want the extra sleep.