A day with a Friend and a "friend"

I was out in the coffeeshop yesterday morning, enjoying a nice breakfast of prata, teh ping, and a good book, when I heard a familiar clenching in my ovaries.

You know that feeling you get, when you hear the door bell ring, and you knock that the person on the other side is your dreaded great-auntie from gods-know-which-demented-side-of-the-family-tree who's about to stay at your house for one week, invading your privacy, taking over your bedroom, bathroom, and generally making a solid nuisance of herself?

Yea, that's the feeling I get when my cramps are about to start.

So I make my way back home, and just in time. Because after I step into my house and change, is when Great Aunty finally makes her grand entrance, demanding to be entertained.

ARGH ITAI..........

There's nothing for it but my Cure for Cramps. Which is basically to switch on the radio, and stumble into my bed, clutching my bolster in agony. And have imaginary conversations with my pain-wracked self.

Yo!



Oh god, you again



Yea, how've you been



Fine since you came along, godammit



Aw.... that's no way to treat a friend....


Some friend you are if this is all you can do for me


What.... i'm useful ok... I ensure the regularity of your monthly cycles, clear away the buildup in your ovaries, and generally make sure you're a healthy, living, sexual human female!


Thanks, but I don't feel like either of those at the moment.


Aw... don't be like that... tickle tickle tickle!


ARGH! DON'T DO THAT!


What, did that hurt?


WTBF DO YOU THINK? [you guys can go guess what that is]


Oh yea, how about this?


ARGH! KUSO YOU!


-ding dong-


Gee, is that someone at your door?


*Groan* Don't throw on hallucinations on top of what you've already thrown me


-yo aki-


[note: obviously my real name was used here, but for anonymity's sake...]


Hey! Someone's calling you!


Not listening to you not listening to you you're just screwing with my mind lalalala


-handphone rings-


Wah, now your handphone's ringing, someone's in demand yah?


*Groan again* Go away already....


Answer lah! Let's see who it is!


*Groan and wrenches body off the bed to reach for handphone* Hello?

Yenn: "Yo! Still in bed ah?"

Me: ugh

Yenn: "Having cramps ah?"

Me: egh. "Where are you now?"

Yenn: "Er, I'm outside your door."

Me: "Oh, ugh." - Pause - "WHAT????? ARGH! ITAI!"

Brother calls from balcony: "Jieh!"

I bend down from my window: "WHAT?"

Bro: "Your friend's here!"

He opens the door, and lo and behold here comes Yenn.

me: "I thought I told you I thought I couldn't make it??"

Yenn: "I thought you said maybe you could??"

me: "WOE did I sms you exactly?" Shit, did I sms the wrong thing in my pain-wracked mind?

Yenn: "er..............."

me: "Oh screw it, come on upstairs."

So I have to admit, all of the days I've gotten cramps, this is the first time someone has come to my house to 'tan ping' when I've gotten them.

Which, truth to speak, is a lot more better company than the one I had in the morning.

Oh, trust me, I'll be back.........