PMS? Or no?
Ok let's start with a rundown of my weekend, which has been more interesting than most others.
Friday: Rave Party at Kaypoh Co., Candle's company!
[For the fun of it, let's call the people in Candle's company crunchers]
Crunchers + Free Flow of alcohol till 11pm + Club and Music
A lot of potential mayhem :D
Such was the occassion at the Kaypoh Rave Party, the off-peak party for the Crunchers in the company. And when you spend half the year working your ass off, well, crunching, at the expense of personal and social life, well, you tend to really let loose during the office party.
How loose? When I snuck in at 9pm, I found that someone had already vomitted the contents of their dinner in front of the ladies' toilet. Man, that's pretty early to get sloshed... :p
Then inside, I realised just how sloshed some crunchers could get. A lot of the people there were already well and intent on their way to inebriation and collapse, it seemed, and I have to admit, Candle and I came very close to it as well. :p With free flow of drinks, who can bloody resist??
Best of all was our friend, Mr Tee. Never have I seen such creative dancing with lightsticks on the club floor. [Yup, definitely sloshed]
And yes, I did get damn high while I was at it. For the count, the alcohol count was as follows: [in the following order]
1 tequila shot
1 tequila 7up
1 gin 7up
1 vodka ribena
1 tequila pop
1 flaming lambogini
Why the flaming one again, despite my previous harrowing experience? Because I was very high and Mr Tee treated me....... *hung head in shame* the things I would do for free alcohol...
[which reminds me, I owe Quet a drink back for the tequila pop :p]
I think I was ok till the flaming one. THEN Candle and I became well and truly high. How high? Picture 2 girls, screaming and laughing in Japanese at the top of their voices, all the way from Fullerton to Boat quay. "MINNA SAN! KORE WA WATASHI NO TOMODACHI TEE-SAN DESU! TOTEMO HANSUNMU HITO DESU! DARE GA HOSHI DESU KA??"
[well, at least everything was in Japanese, so the only people who'd understand us would be bemused tourists]
Man, thank goodness Quet drove us home that night........
Saturday: Shopping with Candle
Somehow or another, after the previous night's drunken debauchery, I managed to wake myself at 9 to go for tuition, and then shopping with Candle. And a very fruitful shopping trip it was for both of us. :D
1 new black spaghetti top with african print
1 new waist pouch
I have a thing for waist pouches. They don't take up hand space, they don't slip off your shoulders, and they don't cause your shoulders to ache. [unlike previously-mentioned kipling bag] They sit at the back of your ass, and it almost feels like they aren't there.
And I like waist pouches with storage space. You know the kinda stuff I've stuffed in my old brown waist pouch?
Novels of varying size and thickness
Accounting reference book [small one, don't be nuts]
Shirt bought while shopping
The usual wallet, handphone, keys :D
Obviously not all at the same time..... Although I've stuffed both my umbrella and shawl and necessities in at the same time before :D
And this new one is even bigger! You know how big? That day, I was carrying my old brown waist pouch, and I decided it was ridiculous and troublesome to carry around another waist pouch in a paper bag, so I decided to transfer as much contents as I could to the new one.
Holy cow. I transferred the entire contents of my old brown waist pouch, AND the pouch to the new bag. And I managed to stuff in the african print top I bought later at Far East. And I managed to carry it around on my ass.
Ok, so maybe I managed to do it cos my ass is the relative size of Texas......
Anyway, it was a good, fruitful shopping trip with Candle, and then later Krystal. We started at 1230 in the afternoon for lunch, and then leisurely walked the length of Orchard Road shopping at all the buildings along the way.
It's a nice thing, to be able to leisurely walk down the street, not thinking of anything, not rushed by anything. To be able to just walk around with a friend, not rushing or hurrying. Should really do it more often. :D Though it's prob better done with girlfriends rather than boyfriends. :)
Sunday: Lunch and coffee with Turtle
I get treated to coffee and cake at Coffee Club by the Turtle! How cool is that? Haha...
And I finally managed to tell him about the DF and me. All this while, he's been the last to know, cos I knew he had breakup issues on his mind, so was hesitant, but finally decided to tell him. And it's always good to get the perspective of a male friend who knows who the guy is. ;) Thankfully he didn't tell me something like "My god, that pervert/playboy/psycho???"
So most of you guys already know that DF is not exactly the very initiative type, (^^!) And that I'm inclined to give him this chance because of his exams, but.......
Dunno lah. It sucks when your friends tell you stuff like your BF cannot make it, or why is he like that, or why can't he call you. [I say friends, because I couldn't give a damn about the opinions of people who weren't close to me. if some acquaintance told me that, I'd most probably nod, or shrug, and tell them to f**k off in my mind.]
And everytime I tell them the standard answer: He's having exams, so I'd rather just leave him to it, and wait for his exams to end when he's more free.
And the more other people question his actions, and the more I answer them, the more it sounds like I'm making some kinda excuse for my BF's unreasonable actions. Think of the battered wife who, after a bashing, tells the police her husband's having a bad day. [though I doubt I'll fall into that category. I'd probably be the one bashing up her husband]
If you left me alone to it, I'd just leave him to his studies, maybe call or SMS him occassionally, and see how things work out after his exams finish. But when [almost] EVERYONE questions me as to why he never call me, why he never SMS me, why he don wanna meet me etc etc etc... I start to get uneasy about the whole situation.
And comparisons are inevitable. I look around at my other friends' steads, and they meet regularly, they communicate regularly, and they question me regularly, "So where's he?" (^^!)
And I agree with the sentiments on Slayer's blog. I do miss him, and it sucks to think that maybe he doesn't miss me as much, or worse, he doesn't miss me at all.
So now what?
If he's going through his final exams now, fine. I wouldn't want him to screw up his exams on my account as well. What I'm afraid of is whether this is going to continue on when he's working. Like damn! I don't want a guy who thinks his work is more important than I am!
The best comments I've heard so far: "It doesn't even seem like you're attached, it feels like you're still single." "Force him to come out with you!" "If I was attached, I'd call her everyday, SMS her everyday..."
Man.................................. *feeling suckified*
But I also have a voice inside me that says, "Are you freakin' nuts?? You haven't even given the relationship a decent chance yet and you already have so many question mark in your mind?? How you know he's going to ignore you when he works? He havent even started working yet what!"
"Why even compare him to other people's boyfriends? He's obviously different from everyone else!"
"And that comment about forcing him to go out? That's plain ridiculous. Neither of you will be happy about it and you know it."
"He's a decent, honest man, so where's the harm in giving him this chance? At least you know he's not screwing other women behind your back. At least you know he's not playing around with you, making false promises and breaking them later. At least you had a good idea of what he was like before you got attached with him."
*wryly* My voice of reason...
And when I finally meet him on MSN and I tell him how I haven't seen him for so long, he says I'm having PMS and I'm whining like a girl. *various Japanese, English and Hokkien expletives* Voice of Reason has nothing to say after that... >( Lucky for him he wasn't there physically to experience my PMS firsthand...... Fortunately for him too I know he was half joking. [I think.]
Am I PMS-ing? I see my friends with their steads, and I wonder, where's mine.........
And the more people ask me, why can't he meet you, the more I get tired of explaining his actions to my friends.
Maybe it's better I just curl up with my comics.
It's too hurting to keep explaining his continued absence.