I know I said I had a plan in the previous post, but events overtook me.

We had long sms exchanges with each other.

I tried to explain clearly what was it exactly that I was so upset about. [admittedly, hard to do when under emotional distress]

He didn't see what the fuss was all about. [not his exact words, but my summarization]

He didn't apologize for what he put me through.

He seemed to imply that it was partly my fault that we were like this. [Oh, excuse me for having a heart]

He picked on a detail in one of my replies and brought up an unrelated topic. [something which irritates me, cos what the heck did that have to do with this??]

I extended white flag and olive leaf. I asked if he wanted to meet and resolve. He ignored my sms, my call, until finally Jules came, and I went off with him for lunch instead.

Much later, he said, yea, we should talk, but not today, cos he didn't want to lose his temper at me and didn't want to be so agitated that it gave him a headache.

Well, EXCUSE ME for all the headache, heartache and tearache that I had been going through the whole week!

I'm fed up with this whole aspect of my life. I get enough of this kinda crap from my parents about how everything is my fault and I don't need to get it from him as well. For a change, it would be nice if someone close to me would admit that something was their fault, or that they caused it and apologize to me, instead of insisting that I should be the one feeling sorry.

I'm so fed up with him right now. All I wanted was to see, or hear, one word. Even if said grudgingly. And I couldn't even get it.

Elton John was right. It does seem to be the hardest word.