No English? No Problem!

Friday, August 05, 2005

Incidentally, I forgot to mention... I've watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, and had a few thoughts:

1. Johnny Depp's Willy Wonka is not at all like the WW I imagined in the book. [then again, I had the same problem with the Harry Potter movies] Roald Dahl's WW at the time seemed like a lovable, clown-like character with a child-like innocence. JD's WW seemed like he was walking a fine line between sanity and psychopathic behaviour most of the time.

Although he does have a slightly sexy slant in the movie ads... Rowr!

2. Tim Burton's movies have an unmistakable dark quality. There is no mistaking a Burton film for any other film. They all have that same dark comedy feel.

3. The movie will make you crave for chocolate. No kidding.

Why women are smarter than men



The post below this is a rant of sorts, so I thought I'd get you guys into a reasonably chuckly mood before you start reading about my angst....

This was received in my email from Sylveracyd.... [to the women out there] Enjoy!

Marriage - Part I

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the wedding, he laid down the following rules:

"I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don'texpect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unlessI tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are myrules. Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night ......... whether you're here or not."

(DAMM SHE'S GOOD!)

Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:"Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "

"Yeah?" she replies. "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone thatreads: "Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"

(HE ASKED FOR IT!)

Marriage (Part III)

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either,"and storms out of the house. After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "what took you so long to answer the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?"

"Getting a second opinion!"

(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)

Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back, "Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

(RIGHT ON, LADY!)

Marriage (Part V) The Silent Treatment

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at5:00AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man awoke, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't awakened him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The message on the paper read, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."




Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
And I still haven't gotten my laptop hooked up to the Net.......... phwargh bleargh pooi pooi.........

Ok, lemme rephrase... I haven't gotten my laptop hooked up to the Net... In my hostel room.......... pooi pooi pooi............

It's 10am, in the NIE com lab, I didn't get enough sleep due to weird dreams the entire night, [Turtle was going to jail, and DF and I were back in JC, but he was in the wrong class.....er........] and I stood in front of a damned photocopying machine for one hour trying to desperately photostat whatever I could, and gacking at the sheer amount of paper that was coming out......

Oh yea, time for a good ol' rant...

Firstly, the LAPTOP

I brought it down to NIE com lab early one morning this week, and the lady there successfully installed the network card, and the client software, only to tell me:

"Oh, by the way, you may not get reception in some hostels."

"What? Where would I be able to use it, then?"

"In NIE itself."

*string of bad English, Hokkien and Japanese expletives* Then what's the blardy point of getting the card in the first place??? Why not I just make my way to the com lab each time???

Then, there's THE CABLE

I borrowed a network cable from the hostel office, which presumably was supposed to hook my com up to the Net through the LAN network.

Notice that I'm still in the com lab this morning. (-_-)

An inconvenient part of our room layout is that one LAN point is directly under Yenn's table. So I crawled under her desk to connect the cable, pushed the other end into my laptop, and set the proxy.

No connection.

I bring my laptop to the other side of the room, where our beds are.

STill no connection.

*English expletives* Then why I borrow the blardy cable for??? To strangle the hostel office staff when it doesn't work??

And when I asked the staff about it, all they said was, "The whole campus should be wireless, right?"

Yea, everywhere on campus except your blardy hostel area...... grumble grumble grumble....... This is when images of strangling them with the wire came in..........

Lastly, for today, is the PHOTOCOPYING.

I had [conveniently] forgotten how much photocopying one had to do in Uni. It seems, in the past few days, that everytime I came to the library, it was inevitably for some kind of photocopying. *dryly* After all, who cares about copyright infringements when your education and hence future career success is at stake, huh?

So I stood in front of the machine, zapping...........

And zapping...............

And zapping.........................................

Before I really got tired, and decided, "Screw this for now", and smashed my Iron Fist of Death into the photocopying machine, to the extreme shock and disbelief of all those standing behind me.

Nah, just kidding, though I wish I could have done so.

Now I know why NIE has that psychology clinic on campus...... It's to prevent Columbine-wannabes like me.......................

More rants if something else pisses me off...........

Monday, August 01, 2005

I've had to temporarily remove the tag-board, because I realised that everytime there's an error with the company server itself, the loading of my blog gets slowed down.

So since I assume you're more interested in reading the totally opinionated crap I write, rather than adding your own constructive comments on my writing, I removed the board.

Don't fret, though. If you feel that you absolutely MUST tell me the exact honest truth about my writing, please follow these instructions:

1) Click once on the Address bar.
2) Type http://www.ihateyourblog.com
3) Read the error message
4) Complain to someone else instead

Nah, just kidding. :p In place of the tagboard, use the comments function, by clicking on ".. pieces of crap". Blogger should carry you along from there.

And btw, Nihongo no leberu 2 wa owarimasu! Leberu 3 e itteimasu!
This newest post comes to you courtesy of an NTU computer at the main central library. Long live computer labs and free Internet access. :p Now if only they came with Firefox...

A few of my thoughts on the NTU campus:

- The new library I'm in now, directly above Canteen A, is one of the more better looking campus libraries I've seen around. :p Is there a current trend among the universities to compete for the better looking library? [the central library at NUS arts, after the renovation, was also stunning]

The interesting thing about the way it's been built is the half-circular design of the place. You walk in, and immediately you're standing above a half-moon valley, overlooking a whole prairie of computers, and people intent at work [or sleep, for some]

I walk to the 4th floor, along the moon, and through the windows on my left, I see the sea, [or more possibly, the Straits of Malacca] and what could possibly be Johor. It's definitely a better view than what NUS has to offer :S although most people here seem less interested in the view and more in their computer screens. Welcome to campus life.

And now, my current computer is at a window seat, though my view of Johor has been blocked by some very tall palm trees. Would almost feel like a beach, if not for the fact that I'm in an air-con library, and I have a pile of readings beside me. :s

- A few not so very nice words about their 3D club though...

NTU has a 3D animation club called NTU Siggraph, and usually Yenn and I would be interested, but I'm not too impressed by their management committee.

Erm, is it because the club is too new or something? Because I remember going for Imagereel, which was an exhibition of 3D animation, and not being very impressed with the way they organized the whole thing. Not to mention the commentators weren't too interesting, and Yenn wasn't impressed with the 3D shown, [too abstract and arty for her :p] so both of us overall weren't... well, impressed. :p

Then I went for another one they had at the library. Again, the speaker wasn't too interesting, though in this case, I suppose it's the fault of the external speaker they had, rather than the club itself. Most of the people probably thought they were there to learn some basics about 3D animation. [as I was] Instead, the presenter went like this:

"So if you click on this icon, [clicks on icon] you can do this [fiddles around with mouse, and changes colour of image. We squint to see what icon he clicked] and then this [does something else with another icon] and you can then... [by now he's given up on using verbs at all] after that you.... then you can..........."

Bleah................. at least I got some free software out of that........................

So when I saw the little display they had outside Canteen A, I was a bit apprehensive about the club, even though I saw free basic 3D courses for members. [thankfully, at the same time, they were hiring management committee members] As it is, I think their members need a bit of training in marketing skills.

I stood in front of a sign, just beside the booth, reading about the club benefits for members. The 3 people at the booth itself talk to each other about something.

I feign slight interest. They ignore me.

I decide to make myself more visible. [considering my bulk, this is not a hard thing to do] I walk to the front of the booth, in front of the 3 members.

They continue talking among themselves.

Hallo! I'm here! Me! Interested party here! Yoohoo! Look! I have cash! I'm ready to pay for membership!

I stand there for a good five minutes, before someone sees me. She comes over to talk to me, while the other 2 talk somemore. :s

I ask her, "What kind of courses does your club offer?"

Blank look. Maybe she didn't hear me correctly.

"What kind of activities does your club do?"

She thinks a while, then she reaches for a copy of the exact same piece of paper I was reading a couple of minutes back, and shows it to me. NB. Think I cannot read ah?

I ask a few more perfunctory questions about the club, and its courses, but I want a flyer.

"Sorry, we have no flyers."

No flyers? How about a copy of that paper you're holding there?

"Er, we don't have a copy right now...."

................ You do have a website, right? And I know you do, because you have it written on that very large orange banner hanging over your head over there.

"Er, ya, we have a website................ [why so reluctant to tell me your URL? You got porn stashed away in a link somewhere?] Maybe you can come back later in the afternoon when we have the flyers."

...................................... Wateva. See ya.

Maybe I'm being unfair to them, or maybe they're too new, but [sense of campus loyalty seeping in here] I don't think Bizad would have ever pulled some kind publicity flop like that lor...... And so much more the waste, because 3D animation is gaining in popularity in Singapore.... and their club is doing so little for itself......

Ok, they need better management....................... [And I hope no one in that club reads this the wrong way and send their friends in the Computing Club, if there is one, after my blog. :p]

Sunday, July 31, 2005

Hypothesis: When a group of girls go shopping, the girl that already knows exactly what she wants to buy and how much she is willing to pay for it will NOT find what she wants, but the girls who are just there to tag along will end up buying all sorts of things they didn't intend to buy.

Scenario: Group of 4 girls go shopping. One girl, henceforth known as Object Aki is about to break the pair of heels she is walking in, and desperately needs new pair of sandals. Other test variables, Quet, Candle and Yenn tag along.

The Object and Variables make their way to the [semi] controlled test environment, henceforth referred to as 'Far East' to look for a new pair of shoes for Object Aki.

After a couple of hours of shopping, Object Aki is unable to find decent shoes at reasonable prices, while Variable Yenn has bought 2 new items, a beige shoulder bag [at sale price somemore!!! Blardy fark!] and a new pair of shoes. While Object Aki hobbles along, praying that either her feet or her heels don't give out before she finds a new pair of shoes.

Conclusion: HYPOTHESIS PROVEN

Not only that, but just after I bought the new sandals, really, just the second after I bought them, I stood up and immediately felt a paralysing cramp in my 2nd toe on my right foot. And even after Quet attempted to massage it, it still remained stubbornly cramped and out of line with all the other tootsies on my foot.

Finally, after it uncramped itself, and i was able to walk again, I developed a sore blister on my left foot from where it rubbed against the unfamiliar strap. (^^!)

Next conclusion: NOT ONE OF MY BETTER SHOPPING DAYS
Who's seen the new NDP song over the MRT screens?

Well, who's been irritated by the incessant playing of the same few lines of the NDP song over the MRT screens?

Ok I saw more hands rise then...

Anyway, here's an alternate take on the NDP MTV, link found on mrbrown.com and originally done by Cloudywind:

National Day MTV
Most of my close friends know by now of my bf's plans to join the army full-time and of my worries of what he'll do after retirement.

Well, I need worry no longer. Here are his career options:

Jobs suitable for NSFs