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Thursday, February 19, 2009

The last day...

That I'll ever be 27. :p

I know this is one occasion where people feel obliged to moan that they're getting older, and I know many of you do the same every year. [oh, you know who you are]

For me, I never felt this grief about 'getting older'. To me, birthdays were great excuses to blow off work, [still is] binge on favourite foods, [still is] and a time where you got unsolicited gifts of cash and book vouchers from friends and family. [though a nice new bag or two would be great...]

Lots of great memories of parties / binges on my birthdays. Heh.

And the getting older part? Never really been bothered by it, actually. Lately, been actually thinking that maybe it [breathes in] wasn't so bad to grow old after all.

Ok, there goes a controversial opinion.............

But looking back on some of the other snafus that happened in my life, I have to admit that this current age, where I am now, holds somewhat more advantages than any other time in my life. Every other era in my life so far has been a smorgasbord of the worst kind of insecurities, and it's only as I'm nearing 30, that I've either come to terms with these insecurities, or learnt to chuck them aside as a waste of my time. I feel... strangely more emotionally stable, more grounded. I can care about the things that are really important to me, while deciding not to care at freakin' all about the stuff that should be bothering me.

This was something that I could not do well at any other age.

So let's stop looking at the worst parts of life as something to regret or close into the attic. They should be celebrated, with great glee and joy! [and partly because they're over] In this wonky spirit, let me show my gratitude for all the shit received in life thus far:

I'm grateful for being stone broke for most of my teenage years, and for spending till I was stony broke in my uni and tuition days. Only when you go through days of having absolutely no money do you appreciate it more later in life and learn how to save and spend more wisely.

I'm grateful for all the ghastly, ill-fitting and totally unsuitable clothing I wore. Only through those mistakes did I start to learn the rudiments of good taste. [and, in other people's opinion, still learning]

I'm grateful for being fat. That way I know no one is ever around me simply because I'm sexy and chio. It also gives me a stronger drive to exercise and eat more healthily than a lot of thin people.

I'm grateful for my job, which sucks the life out of me and surrounds me with people that drive me nuts. They make me more creative in imagining how to start a new business, new career and drive me to seek out ways in which to make my life better. Without this bloodsucking job, I don't think I would have researched career options, gone out with friends as much, or even learnt lindy hop. I would have just been.... another civil servant.

I'm grateful for all the stupid, narrow-minded and plain incompetent things that I come across. They stimulate me to find better solutions, simply just to prove to unbelievers that there is a better solution out there.

I'm grateful for all the years I spent single, while others were getting attached, and even married. They made me more grateful and patient for the one that came along. Which also reminds me that.......

I'm grateful for all the heartache, disappointment and grief the DF put me through. [including the kitchen sink] It was only after we aggrieved each other that he learned how to live with/endure me, and me the same to him. Makes me think that we do have a shot at being with each other after all.

And before you're convinced that my life has been nothing but one bad dream....

I'm grateful for the friends I have. The friends that I meet a few times a year remind me how precious our relationship is each time we meet. The friends I meet every week help me get through the daily turmoil of life. I can't live life without either kind.

and to sum up:

I'm grateful for all the shit in my life. It makes cheap toilet paper that much more precious.

So, sweep all old regrets under the presents. Birthdays are a time for cake, and even better if the cake comes with mascarpone cheese and plenty of rum!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

On Valentines' Day, he fetched me from my house for dinner. When I
opened the car door, there was, lying on the car seat, a freshly
bloomed dark red rose and a knowing grin on his face.

A good start to a good evening. ;)

Sent from my iPod

25 things

Happily and innocently reading Quet's blog till I saw the word
"tagged" with my nick... Bleah... So here are 25 things about me:

I have studied 3 languages: English, Chinese and Japanese. I am fluent
in the first, passable in the second, and dismal in the third. And
despite this I want to take up 2 more languages in my lifetime.

I have been attached for the last 4 years to an emotional blockhead
who's given me more stress and a wilder kind of happiness than anyone
else in my life. If that doesn't make me a kind of saint I don't know
what will.

I spend more time with my friends than my boyfriend or my family.
Which puts me in direct opposites with about half the people I know.

Also, I spend most of my time out wandering somewhere. I feel
positively brainless if I have to stay at home. Makes me feel like
I'missing out on something.

I spend my most peaceful and rejuvenating hours at the art museum. I
love to see the art and love to dream about my own.

I think daydreaming is underrated. No one ever realizes the value of a
good 20 mins doing nothing but stare into space. Yet they always want
the kind of effort from you that you cannot produce without staring
into space.

I think the best way to live is to be damned with what everyone thinks
and just do things your own way.

I have an increasing impatience for what I consider stupidity, or a
lack of ability or willingness to think for oneself. I can forgive
this in children but I find it totally infuriating in adults. I cannot
get around that some people will do things simply because and for no
good reason. And that goes for a lot of civil servants.

I can be downright sarcastic when I want to be, but sometimes my
innocent humour gets misconstrued as sarcasm. This probably explains
why my friends are few but close. ( thanks guys )

I have joined some of the most unlikely CCAs people would ever think I
would join. I have been a shortlived softball pitcher, played in a
chess team, become a librarian, ok not so unlikely, and to the
surprise of Some friends, become vice president of the Chinese

My CCA record in JC was equally fruitful with me having filled up
almost everything in it. My studies were not as fruitful, and I was
just thankful to have been able to drop accounting. Come to think of
it, that also describes my current patterns with my work...

The only thing I did well without breaking a sweat for was English and
GP. Where my classmates used to struggle to form 2 coherent
paragraphs, I had already finished my essay. Tip to all future
parents: never be stingy over books for your kids.

I thank the gods that my dad encouraged me to read half the trash that
I did. Nobody ever stopped me reading comics, trashy novels or books
beyond my age group at home. If you doubt the value of some forms of
comics and novels, read my above point about English and GP again.

Up to this day, I still feel naked if I don't leave the house without
some reading material in the bag. I usually end up buying some
magazines on the way.

Following the point about reading, some of my favourite magazines
include 8 days, Oprah, Cleo, computer Arts, Time, Newsweek, Wired and
Psychology Today.

And to show some vestiges if a bilingual education, I have been
reading the same Chinese manga for 14 years. And the title shows no
sign of ending soon. -_-!!!

This diversity of taste also runs to my music. I listen to 98.7, 99.5
regularly. On my iPod, I have lounge, pop, rock, rap, jazz, Chinese
ballads, which I listen to fairly regularly.

I just started on opera. :p whether it remains a lingering love is
sometiing yet to be seen.

I love to go for concerts but I always have trouble finding people to
go along with. So sometimes I just go alone.

The best concert I ever went to was the Black Eyed Peas which had
everyone jivin' in their seats. The most memorable ones I went for was
Jamie Cullums' and Jason Mraz for their performing skills.

My iPod is another that I would feel naked walking without. I don't
know how else to endure bus and MRT rides.

And my headphones are one of my most treasured items together with my

The items that I most treasure are also my most expensive and my most-
used: iPods Shiroi and Kuroi, headphones, laptop Lapidora and camera
Kenny. These are items I would kill to defend.

I'm also in the habit of naming my personal electronic products. Heh.

One last for the road: I am a unique body unlike everyone else, and in
that I am like everyone else. ;)

And maybe I should add 26: I am capable of typing long memes. Ha!

The tagged one will be the Slayer, for always telling me about there
being nothing to blog about. Heh.

Sent from my iPod