The last day...
That I'll ever be 27. :p
I know this is one occasion where people feel obliged to moan that they're getting older, and I know many of you do the same every year. [oh, you know who you are]
For me, I never felt this grief about 'getting older'. To me, birthdays were great excuses to blow off work, [still is] binge on favourite foods, [still is] and a time where you got unsolicited gifts of cash and book vouchers from friends and family. [though a nice new bag or two would be great...]
Lots of great memories of parties / binges on my birthdays. Heh.
And the getting older part? Never really been bothered by it, actually. Lately, been actually thinking that maybe it [breathes in] wasn't so bad to grow old after all.
Ok, there goes a controversial opinion.............
But looking back on some of the other snafus that happened in my life, I have to admit that this current age, where I am now, holds somewhat more advantages than any other time in my life. Every other era in my life so far has been a smorgasbord of the worst kind of insecurities, and it's only as I'm nearing 30, that I've either come to terms with these insecurities, or learnt to chuck them aside as a waste of my time. I feel... strangely more emotionally stable, more grounded. I can care about the things that are really important to me, while deciding not to care at freakin' all about the stuff that should be bothering me.
This was something that I could not do well at any other age.
So let's stop looking at the worst parts of life as something to regret or close into the attic. They should be celebrated, with great glee and joy! [and partly because they're over] In this wonky spirit, let me show my gratitude for all the shit received in life thus far:
I'm grateful for being stone broke for most of my teenage years, and for spending till I was stony broke in my uni and tuition days. Only when you go through days of having absolutely no money do you appreciate it more later in life and learn how to save and spend more wisely.
I'm grateful for all the ghastly, ill-fitting and totally unsuitable clothing I wore. Only through those mistakes did I start to learn the rudiments of good taste. [and, in other people's opinion, still learning]
I'm grateful for being fat. That way I know no one is ever around me simply because I'm sexy and chio. It also gives me a stronger drive to exercise and eat more healthily than a lot of thin people.
I'm grateful for my job, which sucks the life out of me and surrounds me with people that drive me nuts. They make me more creative in imagining how to start a new business, new career and drive me to seek out ways in which to make my life better. Without this bloodsucking job, I don't think I would have researched career options, gone out with friends as much, or even learnt lindy hop. I would have just been.... another civil servant.
I'm grateful for all the stupid, narrow-minded and plain incompetent things that I come across. They stimulate me to find better solutions, simply just to prove to unbelievers that there is a better solution out there.
I'm grateful for all the years I spent single, while others were getting attached, and even married. They made me more grateful and patient for the one that came along. Which also reminds me that.......
I'm grateful for all the heartache, disappointment and grief the DF put me through. [including the kitchen sink] It was only after we aggrieved each other that he learned how to live with/endure me, and me the same to him. Makes me think that we do have a shot at being with each other after all.
And before you're convinced that my life has been nothing but one bad dream....
I'm grateful for the friends I have. The friends that I meet a few times a year remind me how precious our relationship is each time we meet. The friends I meet every week help me get through the daily turmoil of life. I can't live life without either kind.
and to sum up:
I'm grateful for all the shit in my life. It makes cheap toilet paper that much more precious.
So, sweep all old regrets under the presents. Birthdays are a time for cake, and even better if the cake comes with mascarpone cheese and plenty of rum!