Lower. Primary. Kids. Are. Hell. To. Teach. Nuff. Said.

As a distraction [and a form of therapy] here's a new website I found full of those irritating yet sometimes entertaining stuff we sometimes find in our email.

Here's a driving joke from the site:

What to do in the event of a car accident

A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, " So you're a man. That's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but we're unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days".

Flattered, the man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely, this must be a sign from God!"

The woman continues, "and look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man.

The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle and immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police.... "

MORAL OF THE STORY:
Women are clever, evil bitches. Don't mess with us!

From: Bore Me - The Best of your Inbox

Quick, spam your friends now...

A natural wanderer

A night of suddenly cancelled tuition allowed for some father-daughter bonding.

After dinner, I was complaining and whining to my dad about Neko, and I said something like how I could face more discipline problems with boys in the future.

"Well, now you're getting a taste of what your own teachers went through" Daddy grinned.

"Excuse me, I was a well-behaved kid during school ok?"

"That's not what your teachers said!"

"Huh? What did my teachers say to you?" This was new. I never really knew that my teachers got exasperated with me enough to call my dad up.

"Like during excursions? You were always wandering off by yourself and pulling your friends along with you!"

"No I didn't!" I truly had no memory of this happening. Then again, I know my memory sucks...

"Yes you did! Especially when your class went to the zoo! We used to go there very often, so you knew all the shortcuts! And you would wander off by yourself while your teachers took the class on the proper routes!"

"Are you sure??"

"Yes, this happened for EVERY excursion you went for in school! And you would pull your usual gang of friends along with you! Your teacher would do a headcount, and when she realised that some girls were missing, she would immediately start a search for YOU! You were always the ringleader!"

"Sure or not??"

"How do you think your teacher knew the number to my special line, the one that no one else calls?"

My deficient memory refused to pull up memories, though I vaguely remember one day in the old museum, when I suddenly found some other exhibit in the other side of the museum more interesting, and snuck off with my friend. We spent an hour or two wandering through other areas of the museum before we finally rejoined the rest of the class, much to the ire of my already irate teacher.

Then I remembered the British Museum and the Louvre. I remember walking along with Juls and the rest for the start of the journey at first, before my eye was caught by a particularly interesting exhibit. I started reading the description of the exhibit, and when I finished and I looked up, everyone had disappeared. (!!!)

I walked around a while, but I couldn't find them. I walked ahead, hoping to catch up with them, but I didn't. I retraced my steps in the hope that I would find them, but I didn't. In desperation, and irrationally afraid that I would be lost and stuck in a foreign country for the rest of my life, I started hunting for a payphone to call Juls, and that's when the Turtle found me and I rejoined the group.

Even when I recently went to the Vatican exhibition with DF, I was steadily ahead of him in the exhibits, because I read the cards faster than he did (^^!) It wasn't long before we were totally separated, and I had to retrace my steps to reunite with him again. Thankfully it was a small space, so no chance of totally losing me, like in Europe (^^!)

Hm. What can I say? A born wanderer...

I FINALLY GET TO BLOG.

What with modules in NIE, conky PC, [got hit by serious adware software] and tuition at night, I'm starting just what is the size of the pile of shit I may have gotten into. Bad signs include no life at night, increasing feelings of fatigue, inability to drag myself out at 6 in the morning, [bleah] and what looks suspiciously like eyebags under my eyes.

Ergh.

Not only that, I haven't been able to buy comics, [will be going down to buy later! I swear!] or my regular 8 Days, and of course NO PRATA FOR B'FAST. *cries profusely* Can life get any worse than this???

Ok, I dramatise. :p I'll get used to it, but I'm guessing what you guys really are interested in [besides anything to do with DF] is how my first day at school went.

Can I first say for the record, I think the communication channels between Moe and Neko broke down somewhat? They had no idea I was gonna come into school till I called the admin office on Mon. Then when I came, the senior teacher I was intro-ed to said they didn't receive any official communication from Moe till yesterday. *duh*

This despite that I received news of my posting last Thursday.

So what did I do on the first day, if they had nothing for me to do? The ST said I could sit in the office, and sort of 'absorb the atmosphere'. Or perhaps, he meant, 'sit here and don't do anything to cause any trouble'.

Nah, he's a pretty nice guy.

So I sat there, in the office, idly flipping through a Neko handbook.

Then it was recess.

Then I finished the handbook, so I searched my sparse bag in desperation, and found a book about research into the teaching of Social Studies in schools. [Yenn, Turt, it was the research book they included in our 'orientation gift']

I alternated between falling asleep, pretending to read, and actually reading for about 4 hours.

Then school was over, and it was Contact Time.

The teachers bustled around me, and then I went up at 2, sat there till 3, and finally made my way home.

Like, I'm so filled with the desire to teach. (^^!)

I could have talked with the other teachers, I guess, but... I guess I sorta went into 'survival dao mode', which is to act 'dao', and make myself as invisible as possible. (^^!) Worked a charm, the other teachers must have wondered why I was so interested in The Use of Stories in Teaching Social Studies. [one of the more interesting papers]

Then everyone looked busy and bustling, like they had something to do, and it became a sort of situation where I was the only one standing idle, while everyone else was running around me, so I decided to sit and ignore everyone else instead.

Not a good move, admittedly, but one I'm too used to for my own good.

It became almost that I wished they were severely shorthanded, so that I could have been chucked into intense teaching from the start. At least I would have used some energy in the meantime. (^^!)

Ah well, these are the normal starting blues I guess. Hopefully from tom, they'd give me some relief teaching and I'll actually be able to do something.

Keep wishing me luck.

Updates from my Job

I can almost feel the lack of sleep weighing down my eyebags... urgh...

My tuitions on sat and sun morn have officially commenced once more, and I've been vainly trying to pull myself out of my very-comfortable-bed at 730 on weekend mornings to fulfil my educational duties to those in need.

Sometimes I wish I was just that little bit more irresponsible.

So if you've been on my MSN list, you'll know that I've been posted to a semi-famous primary school very near my house, which we will call Neko Primary School. [if you think about it, you'll know why I called it that, and which school it is] And I'm FREAKING because it's an all boys school and I came from an all girls one.

How da fish do you handle boys?

On the one hand, most boys will take blows [figuratively speaking, of course] better than most girls, who will simmer and glare at you with red hot pupils and silently plan your demise in their little ribboned-ponytail heads. On the other hands, most girls would not pick fights and come to blows with each other and attempt most of the things that, well, boys will do. :S

My only consolation is that I probably won't be taking up much REAL teaching duties, seeing as how I'll be there for only 4 weeks. [or rather I'm PRAYING i won't be taking up much teaching duties] Most likely, I'll be doing a lot of observation, co-teaching, and maybe relief teaching. [hopefully the school will be a single session school]

And of course, there will likely be much more stories on the Mis-Educators blog because of it. :S So keep supporting that site. I've just posted a link for stories from an English teacher teaching in Japan, so you guys can go there. It's tres funny, it is, the things that happen there. :p Makes me [almost] thankful I'm teaching in Singapore. :p

And I just remembered: I suspect one of my kids' parents could be teaching in Neko Primary!!! :0 right now I'm praying that she's not, and at the same time, hoping that she's not in that school! Let's keep the Tutes and Schs separate, ya?

Keke done for now... Wish me luck and that I survive the 4 weeks... :S