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Tuesday, May 17, 2005

I'm not fat!

If you are a woman from the age of roughly 13-50 reading this, there has been at least one time in your life, when you looked at yourself in the mirror, struggled on to a top that used to fit you perfectly, and thought to yourself:

"I'M FAT!"

If you are not one of the population lucky enough to be born with THE perfect body of the season [an ongoing urban myth that has not lost fervor] , then you have, at one time or another in your life, been unhappy/miserable/downright suicidal about your figure.

So why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we keep thinking the problem is with Uus? [Well, if you enjoy your fried foods and ice cream a little too much and consider walking to the malls strenuous exercise, then maybe the problem IS with you.] Everytime we feel insecure about our bodies, whether justified or not, the first person we blame is ourselves.

Well, blame no longer. Aki now brings you:

10 Reasons Why It's Not My Fault I'm Fat:

1. I inherited the wrong genes from the wrong parent. [I've used this one on occassion]

2. My mother taught me that it is a sin to waste food. But this rule doesn't apply to fresh fruits and vegetables because they're cheap.

3. My boyfriend keeps me fat because he doesn't want to lose me to other men.

4. The hawkers at the food court have a conspiracy against me. They always add extra salt and seasoning and fat to my food every time I order from them.

5. My bone density has doubled due to all the milk I drink.


6. I'm aiming for a slimming endorsement deal in the future. That way I get paid to slim down.

7. Water retention. 'Nuff said.

8. I live on a higher plane of consciousness, that values inner and spiritual beauty over that of superficial physical beauty.

9. It's not fat. It's muscle.


10. A phenomenon has caused the gravitation pull of the Earth to be stronger for some individuals than others. Thus, my weight has increased correspondingly.

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