Illustration Friday - Round

Am I the only who thinks the idea of a puffer fish balloon is darned cute?

Illustration Friday - Vanity

Mirror, mirror, on the wall
Who's the vainest of them all?

Mention vanity and the first person thought of was the Wicked Queen and her magic mirror. For vanity's sake she arranged to kill and poison an innocent girl. Who can be more vain than that?

Illustration Friday - Silent

Illustration Friday - Stripes

This came to mind when I saw the <a href="http://illustrationfriday.com">Illustration Friday</a> theme, stripes. What is a tiger without his stripes?

Rwr Rwr Rwrry!!!

Yes, I was a little upset at work.

Fuel

Here's my contribution to this week's Illustration Friday theme, Fuel, inspired by my hub who is rushing a paper... :p

The Great Ji-Hup

Reminiscing about the past tonight suddenly reminded me of this:

http://boredslacker.blogspot.com/2005_01_02_archive.html

I don't know how many of you remember but way back in 2005 when I was truly a bored slacker, I did a short crappy cartoon on a rooster with socialist-terrorist leanings named Ji-Hup. (think of jihad) he organized a coup de tat and took over the chicken farm he was living in. Eventually, he met the fate of all rebellious plump poultry, and I had long forgotten about him till tonight.

Now when I read back the archives, one of my thoughts were: was I that free long ago??

Blast from the past. Hehe. Maybe I should do something else similar for fun.
Sent from my iPad

Rwr Rwr Rwry!

Came up with this Dino character after a stressful day at work. At the same time decided that his favorite food was annoying co-workers. Yes, it was a stressful day at work... ;)

Btw his name is pronounced rrr-rrr-roary...

A Tale of 2 Worlds

I just met up with an old time friend, one I've known since primary school. She is currently pursuing studies in film and was telling me of the month long overseas internship she just did. We discussed briefly some of the others in our group, living overseas, pursuing passions... Living what counts in SG as a wild and bohemian lifestyle basically.

I thought of this group and the friends in another group living on more practical Singaporean terms, i.e. having a stable job with a CPF account and concerned with more bread and butter issues. Stocks, shares, politics, gossip...

Over a lifespan of 30 years, I'm fascinated that I have these 2 totally diverse kinds of friendships. In each group, I am the same person, same likes and dislikes, same ages even, and yet i have friends at 2 opposite poles. (literally, in the case of one)

How misplaced I must seem in each group! A boringly married HDB dweller in one, a flaky artistic temperament type in the other!

But as in nature, diversity is a strength. One group shows me that insecurity should not get in the way of my dreams, the other reminds me to keep grounded at the same time. To me, the experience of both these groups shaped my life philosophy over time: to create a stable foundation and yet never let it hold you down from your dreams. Best of both worlds!

I can't imagine how people live with friends who are exactly the same or who live almost similar lifestyles. Don't one get bored once in a while?

Sent from my iPhone

Fwd: Raise your glass if you are one

>

> I've been hooked on a music rhythm game for a while now, my new guilty pleasure. It's like the classic Beatmania arcade game, but allows you to use the songs in your iPhone library to play in the game.
>
> I've been so hooked that I'm obsessively playing it on periods of free time on the bus, on the train, trying to press those notes when they reach the precise part of the song. In fact, my obsession has brought me from high scores of 200K per song to 600K over per song. I only wish I had that kind of returns on stock.
>
> For some songs, even, I've reached high scores of 1,000,000. Yes, I am that obsessed.
>
> But after I whooped a bit, I sobered up and thought: Nobody is gonna think this is a big deal, other than me. if I told people this, most people would nod politely in my direction, and then go on talking about big, grown-up stuff like housing, most and jobs.
>
> Because one of the Hard Truths Of Society is: Other people will determine your worth. They will count what you do a success insofar as you fit into their plans and rubrics, not your own.
>
> Take the example of my high scores. If I told my husband and friends, they would nod politely. (hubby would then proceed to ask if I'd paid my credit card bill. -_-!!!) If I told colleagues, I'd get blank stares and the conversation would go on to projects and latest office political machinations. Tell your boss and he'd ask how this adds to his bottom line. Tell your family and they'd ask you to get a real job.
>
> Life's lonely sometimes. Sigh.
>
> Because your life is so unique, so different from what other people are doing, that what seems like great achievements to you only bewilder them. They cannot understand why on earth you would do this, because they would not, and thus your activity and your achievements become worthless to them. It's like the kid who drew a picture of an anaconda, carefully scrawled the lines, colored within the lines with his best crayons, brought the finished work of art beaming with pride to his parents, only to be told to concentrate on arithmetic instead.
>
> (aside: I've heard that example being used in connection to children. No one ever says we should start by changing our attitude towards adults. An interesting aside for later.)
>
> People judge you by what you are worth to them. Hard Truth of Society.
>
> But, as I see it, not of Life. Because the Truth of Life is that there never is the one truth to follow. Just like the early Christians were persecuted and then grew to evangelistic proportions, just like early computer nerds were persecuted in high school, and then grew to become Silicon Valley millionaires. Whatever people perceive as the truth in that one moment is fallible and vulnerable to changes.
>
> In that vein, so what if people don't see the worth in what you do now? Them jocks persecuting the nerds at first thought they were damned right. They thought there was the One Way Right that was theirs and look at them now, working for the nerds.
>
> Also as you grow up, you realize and acknowledge that the worth of person can be weighed in so many ways, that it's pointless to stick to a standard set of measurements for all. My boss judges my worth to her based on the teaching I do and the documents I write for her. She judges me as a failure by her standards, by her One Way Right. She's not caring about whether I have a happy marriage or if I spend time with my parents or if I'm a caring and considerate citizen, as long as I bring in the results for her.
>
> If I followed her One Way Right, then by all measurements, I am a failure.
>
> Which is why you cannot ever follow what is set down by other people. For one, those rules can change. For another, you are so different that other people can never see the whole worth of you. If you use just their judgements, then you are setting yourself up for failure, depression and therapy when you can't live up to those standards.
>
> Then how? Accept that you are different. Accept that no one will ever truly understand you, accept that there will be people who will look down you, call you loser. And laugh in those fuckwad's faces. You have your own truth to follow. Play by your own rules. Judge yourself by your own standards. Decide for yourself.
>
> And in the words of one of my favorite songs in the game:
>
> Raise your glass if you are wrong
> In all the right ways
> All my underdogs
> We will never be, never be
> Anything but loud
> And nitty gritty
> Dirty little freaks
>
> Proud to be Freaks!!
>
> And damned proud of my 1,000,000 scores. ;)
>
> Sent from my iPad

Raise your glass if you are one

>
> I've been hooked on a music rhythm game for a while now, my new guilty pleasure. It's like the classic Beatmania arcade game, but allows you to use the songs in your iPhone library to play in the game.
>>
>>
>> I've been so hooked that I'm obsessively playing it on periods of free time on the bus, on the train, trying to press those notes when they reach the precise part of the song. In fact, my obsession has brought me from high scores of 200K per song to 600K over per song. I only wish I had that kind of returns on stock.
>>
>> For some songs, even, I've reached high scores of 1,000,000. Yes, I am that obsessed.
>>
>> But after I whooped a bit, I sobered up and thought: Nobody is gonna think this is a big deal, other than me. if I told people this, most people would nod politely in my direction, and then go on talking about big, grown-up stuff like housing, most and jobs.
>>
>> Because one of the Hard Truths Of Society is: Other people will determine your worth. They will count what you do a success insofar as you fit into their plans and rubrics, not your own.
>>
>> Take the example of my high scores. If I told my husband and friends, they would nod politely. (hubby would then proceed to ask if I'd paid my credit card bill. -_-!!!) If I told colleagues, I'd get blank stares and the conversation would go on to projects and latest office political machinations. Tell your boss and he'd ask how this adds to his bottom line. Tell your family and they'd ask you to get a real job.
>>
>> Life's lonely sometimes. Sigh.
>>
>> Because your life is so unique, so different from what other people are doing, that what seems like great achievements to you only bewilder them. They cannot understand why on earth you would do this, because they would not, and thus your activity and your achievements become worthless to them. It's like the kid who drew a picture of an anaconda, carefully scrawled the lines, colored within the lines with his best crayons, brought the finished work of art beaming with pride to his parents, only to

Irritating taxi drivers

Today had 2 irritating encounters with taxi drivers.

In the morning, I had to go to the area for training. The taxi I got drove me around a longer rout than necessary. Never mind, he's not familiar with the route And anyway I approved the route. My fault.

Then when we reached the area, I asked him to go into the carpark to let me down. Now this was the part that started to try my patience.

He told me that because he went through the carpark gantry, he have to charge me extra. Fine, how much, I asked

I don't know, he answered, but the carpark charge is 30cent a minute.

Er, so whats your point? So how much extra you want? How much do I have to pay you?

Somewhat after this, he thought I was trying to make a fuss over 30 cents ( which I felt like because for god's sake, you just earned $24 of cab fare from me and you still want 30 cents more for the few seconds you spent in a carpark?? ) and I was getting frustrated because I was late and he wasn't answering my question directly. Finally with bad grace, I slammed the fare down.

Ok, maybe both a bit at fault.

2nd driver was the one I took on the way back. He took the wrong turn on the flyover and instead of going to Thomson road then Marymount, ended up going almost to Toa Payoh and took one big round before reaching my place.

I asked him how much, and he pointed to the meter!

I make some remark about going one big round and he gets all indignant, saying how the distance wasn't much difference, ( yes, it was ) and if I was going to be particular ( yes, I am ) just pay whatever price I like bah. I did, and I shaved $2 off the meter fare.

Well, this I wasn't so irritated because I think he knew it was his fault for missing the turn, and he did offer me to quote my price, if in bad grace, and I discounted myself.

So many times I have taken a taxi home, this is the first time I've been unlucky enough to tio 2 irritating experiences in one day.

Sent from my iPad

No work meh?

There are times during the holidays that I wonder how some people can be so free during working hours.

As I sit here in the cafe, there are about 13 people. 3 couples are near me, 1 pair seeming of poly/uni age so maybe that explains them.

The other 2 couples are definitely of working age. Yet one laughing couple are dressed casually, guy in round neck tee and jeans, girl with nice makeup and in a maxi dress. They've been here for about an hour so they weren't in an office today. They talk about him going to the gym and the songs she sang today. (Recording artiste?) What do they do?

Another pair, the guy is in office garb. How come he's not in the office? How is it he's free to sit with the girl in the pretty designer club dress in the late afternoon? Does his boss know he's here?

And that's just the people nearer to me. What about the other guy wearing office shirt sitting at a table reading a magazine? (jobless? Just went for an interview?) Or the guy wearing tee and shorts writing in a binded book? (working from 'home'? Studying?) or the 2 western expats? (don't they usually have jobs here?)

I know why I'm here but what about the rest? How is it that some people don't have to be in an office during working hours? How is it they can work from this cozy cafe like I am trying to do?

And more interestingly: How can I do what they are doing?

Sent from my iPad

The art of doing nothing

After the whole Australia trip, I decided that in the one week I have left before work starts, I don't really wanna do much. The reason being I did so much moving from town to mountain to town to state that now, being static seems especially pleasurable right now.

Monday I walked up and down orchard with no aim in mind except a foot massage. Tuesday I spent the morning with Slayer and the rest of the afternoon peacefully reading. Wednesday I went out for breakfast with FH and then lunch with him and more aimless wandering till home.

Maybe because I know the deadlines looming, which is why these few days of no aim seem especially sweet.

Aaaah, how long can this last?

Sent from my iPad

How beautiful the night

How beautiful the night

How beautiful to sit here and enjoy the night

How beautiful the peace

How beautiful to sit in the night

To enjoy the night

And be at peace with me

How beautiful the night

My Quest for an iPad 2

Ion Orchard: "Sorry, we're all sold out."

Sign in front of Wheelock store: "iPad 2: Sold out"

Suspicion that major retailers would be wiped out by early eager fans. Decide to try somewhere a bit more out of the way.

Taka Best Denki: "We have one last set left...

YES!!!!

"Black, 32 GB, 3G and WIFI"

But...... How about 64GB?

"All sold out. That's the last set, you want?"

....... Not really, thanks. T_T

One more attempt at an out of the way store.

Electronic Store at Mandarin Gallery: ( Ha! How many of you knew this shop was here?! )

"Sold out."

( Enough of you knew this store was here, apparently. Damn! )

Sign outside Courts: One model remaining, 16GB White. Argh!!!

Skipped Somerset 313, Orchard Central. No hope.

Harvey Norman, Centrepoint: ( Ha! How many people know this shop is here?? )

"Sold out."

( A lot of you, damn!!! )

Dejected, I start to walk back towards Orchard, then...

Notice a number of people in the Orchard Central shop....

And some boxes being loaded into the shop...

TRY!!!! Run across the road ( with the green man, of course ) to the store!!

"Sold out!"

The boxes??? --- MacBooks. -_-!!!!!!!!!!!!

Feeling, dejected, finally head back to Orchard.

Then I go to the one place in Singapore I know I will get it.

So I'll wait a week or two more. Oh well, at least I know it will come into my hands.

Meanwhile, head to Kino and browse furiously through iPad magazines.......................

Epilogue:

SMS from A: "Courts Toa Payoh got no queue. My fren wife bought today."

!@#$$^&*(&^^%$#@!#@#$%%^&^&**((*&^^%%$$##@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Great Youtube Music

The problem with having an iPhone that doubles as an MP3 player is that you are forever constrained by the memory space on the Phone. While I could dedicate my previous iPod to all my music, on my iPhone, my music starts to compete with my apps for memory. (Which is rapidly running out -_-!!! )

Then I discovered Youtube. Woohoo!

Not that I like to watch videos of kittens sliding into boxes or others like that. It's not fun at all to be trying to watch an online video, reduced in resolution on the iPhone, and on a rockin' shakin' public bus. I'm quite likely to unload my lunch at the next bus stop if I were to do that.

However, I did find out that there's plenty of talented musicians posting videos of themselves singing on Youtube. These aren't just your aspiring bathroom singers (thank god I haven't seen any of those... in the bathroom I mean... ) but also professional singers, music producers, and DJs producing music that deserve to be on the HMV shelves. Since they're on Youtube, if you have an iPhone with the seemingly bottomless 12GB plan, you can easily stream these videos on your Phone and listen to them as if you were listening to your own MP3s.

Here then are some of the ones I like:

1. Alex Goot

Sings and produces covers of popular songs. His videos also show him playing all of the instruments used in his covers, so kudos for multi-tasking musical talent.

2. Kurt Hugo Schneider X Sam Tsui

The first sings, the latter produces the music. Together they produce some surprisingly professional music videos on Youtube and even have songs for purchase on the US iTunes.

3. DJ Earworm

Remixes songs in DJ mixes and very good at cutting/pasting songs together to produce a new song. Check out the video of the Top Songs of 2010, it's a great mix!

The above artists as far as I know exist mostly on Youtube. The other following artists are professionals who have CDs for sale and Youtube videos as well. (Well, some of these Youtube videos are done by amateurs using their songs obviously, but it's a great way to be introduced to some very good music)

1. Alice Sudol 'Almost Lover'

Some of you may have seen her video on my friends' FB for her song 'Almost Lover'. Her drawn-out voice and heart-pulling lyrics are what appealed her to me. 'Almost Lover' is particularly heart-rending, as anyone who's ever experienced unrequited love can attest to. She has other good songs too, like 'Whisper'.

2. Oren Lavie's 'Her Morning Elegance'

He has other songs found on Youtube but what first caught my ear was the light-hearted bouncy tone of 'Her Morning Elegance'. The stop-motion animation used in this animation is also light-hearted and ingenuous.

3. Newton Faulkner 'People Should Smile More'

A cheery song and the accompanying Powerpoint-like presentation should make anyone smile. As Faulkner sings, slide after slide of goofy grins and shy smiles appear on the video. Love it! Look for the version by purpleturtle60. If you like his voice, I also highly recommend 'Teardrop'.

Of course you may encounter problems in streaming now and then. I've had times when I was listening to a song halfway, only to have it cut off. Or pressed on Youtube to get an error message saying 'Youtube Unavailable'. I have to disclaim here: Youtube is not meant as a replacement for your MP3s. The MP3s on your iPhone is definitely more reliable than any video that has to be streamed. And if you are in a moving vehicle, you may find streaming dropping and coming on again as you move.

However, it's a great alternative to try out new music and artistes. I still buy my CDs and listen to music, but buying is always a bit of a risk if you have never heard of the artiste before. You can use Youtube to sample new artistes and tracks before deciding to buy. And if you want to listen to other sounds, just do a search for the music you want.

And of course, if you find any great music, share with me! :)

We had the following conversation amongst the usual posse.

We found out one day that Candle's Whatsapp did not display the names of the persons typing the messages in a group chat. She could still follow the conversation, but she didn't know who was saying what. However, she said she could guess, because each person had their own distinct style when typing.

Which led to an interesting game. We took turns to type sentences in Whatsapp and she had to guess who said what.

Of course, because we knew each other too well, we started imposing as other people, typing things that another person may possibly say, leading to probably a lot of confused reading on Candle's part. We find it particularly hilarious when we use each other's quirks to pretend to be that person.

The following conversation took place between 3 members of the usual posse, and Candle. Can you actually guess who said what?

Yoyo

yo

yoyo

I dreamt of steak last night.

Was it well done or medium rare?

Raw... Really RAW but hot!!! On a sizzling hot plate! :O

With lots of gravy!

Which part did he swallow?

The juiciest part!

The rump? :D

Yea, black pepper gravy... Spicy!!!

He gives me FEVER

And shiver...

Fa Shao!

How about the baked potato with sour cream? Got or not?

Yes, with extra cheese

Hard or not...

And bacon sprinkled all over!

Too bad, over cooked... Mushy mushy one :(

Not hard enough... sad... Potato must be nice and firm then nice

Must heat it long enough

Bake it till it's HOT

And HARD!!

And must not peel away the skin, it's nice and crispy

----------------------------------------------------------

And this is when Candle finally entered the conversation......

So here is the following to think about:

1. Who were the 2 other people in the conversation, besides me? ( Of course I was one of them lah, see I help you all already )

2. Who said what? Match each sentence to who you think said it

3. Alternatively, choose your 'favourite' sentence in the conversation and guess who said it. :D

Can you guess? Show your answers below!

I nearly thought i would die.

Today, my friends, i went for a 10km jog. The jog was organized by PAssion card and was a practice run for the 100plus PAssion run which i had signed up for. ( Stay tuned for news on this blog if i make it through that one. ) this was my first time attempting such a distance and at some points I nearly thought I wouldn't finish it. Due to inexperience, of course I made some mistakes.

First, I took a rather heavy lunch quite late. I could feel something like indigestion when I was running.

I forgot to warm up. When I jog in the gym, I usually have a short warm up by walking first before starting the run proper. This time, when I saw everybody running past me, I kan cheonged and ran faster than i should have, forgetting to warm up. This made me lose steam faster.

I tried to compete. Especially with this aunty and her husband. I kept telling myself and other people that the main point was for me to finish the race, not come in first or second. Yet when I found myself lagging almost last, I was like I can't be last! I made myself a competitor, in effect.

And that was because of this aunty. She was running with her husband and we were almost at the same pace. Then she ran faster and I thought I'm losing to an aunty! Big mistake. Aunty or not, the only competitor is always myself. Why must I compete with her? Not as if last place will lose 'html'><div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'>I took a rather heavy lunch quite late<br/><br/>I forgot to warm up<br/><br/>I tried to compete<br/><br/>Especially with this aunty and her husband<br/><br/>I stopped for drinks and broke momentum<br/><br/>Unused to the distance at one point I thought I was going to have a heart attack<br/><br/>Storm clouds were approaching and I could hear thunder<br/><br/>I kept crossing my fingers<br/><br/>I told God let me finish this race. I have to do it so that no one will ever look down on the useless fat girl, most of all myself. If you let me finish, I promise I will run through the finish line even if it kills me at the end. ( ok, I'll jog past the finish line ) <br/><br/>And whaddya know. The storm held back. The aunty and hubby kept up a walking pace at the end and I summoned up some unknown fat reserve and made myself jog. I jogged past them and I thought why not we come in past together? But they urged me on. And when I saw the finish line I ran towards it and I did it. <br/><br/>The storm didn't burst, I didn't crawl past and I wasn't last. ( well to be truthful i was 2nd last ) I didn't get a heart attack.<span id='BB_SIGN_BEGIN'><img alt='BlogBooster-The most productive way for mobile blogging. BlogBooster is a multi-service blog editor for iPhone, Android, WebOs and your desktop' src='http://theblogbooster.com/pixel.gif' style='border:none;'/></span></div>000000 right? Why do I have to compare myself with other strangers? The only effect was that it put additional pressure on me to reach some imaginary level of success.

That being said, I have to admit it was a bit irritating running behind her. Because she'd be walking with her husband, and I'd think ok! I can catch up! Then as I caught up to her, she would suddenly start jogging and she'd be ahead of me again! Argh! This went on for the whole 10k. -_-!!!

I stopped for drinks and broke momentum. When I jog in the gym or outdoors with my dad, I always ran the distance nonstop without hydration. Good for me or not, it was what my body was used to.

Then after 5km, I stopped at the water station and drank a cup of 100plus. Eargh! I got indigestion and slight churning in my stomach because I wasn't used to the slightly carbonated drink. ( I always drank h2o ) Then the break in momentum made my running lose steam and I suddenly found myself struggling.

Unused to the distance at one point I thought I was going to have a heart attack. I could my heart rate going rapidly crazy and I was like oh no, 30 yr old drops dead suddenly during practice run. Note to self: must train for distance and do not compare or compete.

Then as I was dying, I had another problem: Storm clouds were approaching and I could hear thunder. I was running out in the open. If the run didn't kill me, was I going to have to abandon my goals because of weather??

I kept crossing my fingers throughout the run. I told God let me finish this race. I have to do it so that no one will ever look down on the useless fat girl, most of all myself. If you let me finish, I promise I will hold my head up and run through the finish line even if it kills me at the end. ( ok, I'll jog past the finish line ) At the very least, even if I get a heart attack, I had to finish that damn race! ( notice how exerting physical distances make me overly morbid )

And whaddya know. The storm held back. The clouds swelled and the thunder boomed in the distance but someone up there seems to have heard my prayer (plea) and held the pause on the storm just enough for me to finish. The aunty and hubby kept up a walking pace at the end and I summoned up some unknown fat reserve and made myself jog. I jogged past them and I qas thinking we should jog past the finish line together as a group. I thought, why not come in last together? But they urged me on and told me to go forward.

And when I saw the finish line I ran towards it. My legs pulled forth some hidden reserve of energy and I ran through that finish line. I had done it.

and I did it. The storm didn't burst, I didn't crawl past and I wasn't last. ( well to be truthful i was 2nd last -_-!!! ) I didn't get a heart attack.

In fact, it didn't even rain till I had collected my souvenirs, my free drinks, and carried myself to the taxi stand where I grabbed a cab and then the storm burst and the heavy rainfall fell on the cab. I sat back in the seat and thanked God for waiting so long.

I understand now something more of the mindset of the ultramarathoner i mentioned in an earlier post. When you put yourself to the single-minded doggedness to complete a goal, you put all your resources to the completion of that goal and it is the greatest feeling in the world, even if you don't come in faster than someone else, to actually finish your goal on your own two feet. In fact, you don't even need to compare your progress with others, because everyone is also single-mindedly pursuing their own individual goals. How can you compare two totally different life paths, strengths and weaknesses, and conclude one is better? It is biased and unfair and you should not be doing that to yourself.

And when you do finish something on your own merits, congratulations. You have proven that regardless of what others may think of you, you have that strength in you to do what you have to, what you want to. You do not need to measure yourself by other people's standards any longer. And that feeling of self worth may be the most precious thing you can ever win in any marathon.

How to deal with a Peishan

Most of you know by now who 'the other woman' or 'Peishan' in my marriage is. While it is a milder vice than most what other women go through, it can still get rather irritating to see the two go at it for 1 or 2 hours. Instead of, say, quality time with his spouse.

Hence the plotting brainstorming. What can a wife really do when this situation arises? Tantrums and tears will most likely irritate the guy and drive him further from you. Hence my maybe-helpful guide to all women who've found themselves widowed by the latest game.

Words in brackets are husband's likely responses, btw.

Explain how less time with the other is more beneficial to him
( "Are you sure switching her off is going to save us 'html'><div xmlns='http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml'>Most of you know by now who 'the other woman' or 'Peishan' in my marriage is. While it is a milder vice than most what other women go through, it can still get rather irritating to see the two go at it for 1 or 2 hours. Instead of, say, quality time with his spouse. <br/><br/>Hence the <s>plotting</s> brainstorming. What can a wife really do when this situation arises? Tantrums and tears will most likely irritate the guy and drive him further from you. Hence my maybe-helpful guide to all women who've found themselves widowed by the latest game. <br/><br/>Words in brackets are husband's likely responses, btw. <br/><br/>Explain how less time with the other is more beneficial to him<br/>( "Are you sure switching her off is going to save us $100 a month on electricity?" ) <br/><br/>Make the other seem as unappealing as possible<br/>( "Aaaargh!!! Who's covered peishan in credit card bills and painted them camouflage green??" ) <br/><br/>If you can't beat them, thrash them<br/>( "You finished that level 27 Dragon quest that I've been stuck at for weeks?? How???" ) <br/><br/>Thanks to Theresa Yeoh for her suggestion of this blog entry! ( Yes, I did take your suggestions seriously! )<span id='BB_SIGN_BEGIN'><img alt='BlogBooster-The most productive way for mobile blogging. BlogBooster is a multi-service blog editor for iPhone, Android, WebOs and your desktop' src='http://theblogbooster.com/pixel.gif' style='border:none;'/></span></div>00 a month on electricity?" )

Make the other seem as unappealing as possible
( "Aaaargh!!! Who's covered peishan in credit card bills and painted them camouflage green??" )

If you can't beat them, thrash them
( "You finished that level 27 Dragon quest that I've been stuck at for weeks?? How???" )

Thanks to Theresa Yeoh for her suggestion of this blog entry! ( Yes, I did take your suggestions seriously! )

Some friends may remember the story of the over-achieving guy I told them about. See, this guy took up running, and went for a few marathons. But he wasn't satisfied at that level. One day, he finds out about ultra-marathons and starts training for those and participating in them.

Ultra marathons, btw, can be something like 100miles long. -_-!!!!! That's..... way longer than 2.4km.

( If you are interested in reading more about him, or to find out whether I'm really bullshitting you all, you can click on this article to learn more: The Tough Track by Psychology magazine. )

I'm not that crazy to do that, but I did take part in the Earth Day Night Walk recently. This was supposed to be a leisurely 3.5km walk from the Marina Promontory, to MBS, Esplanade, the Esplanade bridge, past Fullerton hotel, and back to Marina Promontory.

Siao siao that I am, I decided to jog the whole distance.

Well, I don't think my average timing could have helped me pass my 2.4km. But I felt a great sense of achievement when I was the only joker to run through the gantry as I finished the distance. Since everyone was walking anyway, it wasn't such a tough deal to run ahead of everyone, even the guest of honours. -_-!!!

But it's in the completion of the race that I understood what was so rewarding, and even addictive about the whole thing about running. To finish the damn thing, to know that you are capable of such a thing, blows your mind away. When I finished and I looked around at the distance I covered, I could only think "dang." And how shiok is it to know that here is something I achieved with my bare two legs.

This kind of achievements are hard to come by. So many of the things we want to achieve today are dependent on so many factors outside of our control. Our fortune is dependent on our boss, or our customers. Our happiness dependent on our family, friends, work and money. Even our weight is dependent on the food we eat, cooked by other people!

When I run, my achievements become dependent on myself. It is not immediately dependent on factors like my boss, my husband, my friends or my family. It is dependent on whether I want to do it. It is dependent on whether I want to finish the distance, no matter how slow I run, or even walk. Because the only way that I am finishing that distance is by pumping my two legs and pushing myself past the finish line.

The high from exercising is unlike any other. I only improve based on what I want to, and not on how much I fawn the boss. Not on how much I beg the husband. Not on how much I talk to my friends. When I finish the exercise, I know that I did it all by myself, and that I need not share the glory with anyone.

Now when I look at the whole MBS, Fullerton view, at least I can think to myself: "I ran that. Dang."

The story of the Beetle

Imagine you found this old photo in your mother's old box.

Imagine she tells you a story how your father used to date your mother by driving her in his Beetle to a favorite cafe. And how the date was interrupted because he had to run over when the traffic warden came.

What an interesting photo it would be.

We were talking last night about North Korea, and we came up with an unlikely character of a superhero. ( Ok, I admit, I did, so I take all responsibility for this crap story. )

Take our friend, Big J, well known for his cold crap. Now, one day, on tour in North Korea, he tells a joke involving the Dear Leader and a phallus which fails to amuse the North Korean soldiers accompanying the tour group.

They promptly throw him in a North Korean gulag, and they decide that the most fitting punishment for this capitalist pig ( pig. hehe. ) would be to throw him into one of their nuclear reactors.

After he is thrown in, they throw on the switch. He feels all the protons in his body bursting apart, and in one last thought, he manages to make one more cold joke about his imminent death.

*BANG!* The nuclear reactor bursts apart and Big J is standing there, thrice the size he was and with 4 times the strength! Apparently, his cold joke mixed with the nuclear reaction and gave him superhuman strength!

While brushing aside the massive battalions of North Korean soldiers that come his way, he realises something: The more cold jokes he tells, the stronger he becomes! He is the crap-joke version of the Incredible Hulk, now known as the Incredible Joke!

"You know what happened to the pigeon who ate raisins?" Crash! A pair of war planes go plummeting to the ground!

"How about the playboy with 2 birds?" Aargh! Whole battalions of soldiers are swept aside with one handstroke!

"The priest and the bird!" Total annihilation! The Incredible Joke effortlessly crushes a pair of nuclear missiles heading his way and contains the blast in his humongous grip!

He uses his new-found powers to depose Kim and becomes the next dictator of North Korea, asking only that they feed him endless amounts of chocolate, which all the surviving North Korean generals do so, lest he unleash his joke about the priest and the bird again...... He lives in North Korea in a pile of chocolate for the rest of his life.

I'm sure most of you on my FB will know who I'm referring to... hehehehehehe... Any comments or ideas for the sequel? :p

Newspapers? Why?

We had a discussion the other day about whether we should subscribe to the newspapers in our apartment.

His view was that it would be a good way to keep in touch with the news happenings and to keep on top of current affairs. This I do agree with, but I also felt that it was only on the weekends that either of us had the time and leisure to sit over a cup of coffee and read the papers. ( this is something I miss doing on Sunday mornings ) If that was the case, why pay a monthly subscription, only to end up with a pile of fire hazardous material that the karang guni man would only pay a pittance to clear!

While this may be seen as part of the bimbotic side of me, ( News? How serious! Pass me the Urban supplement please! ) I also feel, just how badly do we need the newspaper?

Yes, we need the newspaper to keep in touch with local happenings that affect us. These I have gotten from various sources around me. The HDB rulings I learnt from a friend working in property. The Budget news I got from the man. Any other weird local happenings, or 'human interest stories', I learnt from either Twitter or the friends around me.

This is advantageous of the social network. For one, my friends know my inability to understand anything presented to me in terrific detail and numbers. They know how to retell the information in a way that I get it better. Also, they know which news are more likely to affect my life ( HDB for example ) and they inform me when it arises.

As a result, I haven't lost too much track of anything that would affect me from the political circles.

Then you may argue: How about keeping abreast of world affairs? How about educating oneself on the world at large? I currently buy Time and Newsweek and various other magazines on a regular basis. I have Time on iPhone and Facebook and RSS. Reading through these are enough to let me know that Egypt is in riots and when Mubarak fell and which other countries are in protest. And you do really think that the comment and analysis section in our local papers can be consistently better than that in the foreign press?

The way I see it, the world of social and electronic communication is enough for any normal person in a normal walk of life to keep abreast of all the information that he could need in his daily life. If one is conscientious and interested enough to keep up with it, one could easily educate himself. If one didn't want to, well that person wouldn't be reading the newspapers anyway.

And I wonder whether this is going to be the face of news and information transfer in the future. Already newspapers are falling like flies in the US, where many smaller newspaper have had to quit publication because of increasing costs. Larger titles are not spared either, and have had to fire tons of reporters to reduce expenses. In the end such purges may one day lead to only a few major titles being sold in the US and the world, much like in Singapore.

People may still read, but they would increasingly turn to other channels for their reading material, like online channels. Witness the increasingly popularity of the iPad, and contrast that with the closing of Borders in Singapore ( RIP ) As part of the generation that grew up with the Net, I feel my reading patterns changing with the technology. I have a greater amount of reading material stored on my iPhone than in the little bookshelf in my apartment room.

I don't think we would ever grow out of the need for information. But certainly we will find new ways of doing so. The challenge for us would be to learn the ability to judge the sources of our information and learn which to accept and which to reject.

For the time being, though, maybe I'd just buy the Saturday and Sunday editions of the newspapers to satisfy the man. It would save us some amount in subscriptions at least.

Bad salad

In the interest of being healthy, I eschewed all the fried stuff at the takeaway counters and tried a takeaway salad stop that my friend was eating at.

They had a mix of salads and you could combine a few varieties into a tub. I chose 1 with mustard mayo, one with tuna and a hot one with tomatoes. And in order to know why I'm so unimpressed, you have to keep in mind the descriptions of the salads I ordered.

First the girl got my order wrong and scooped a rocket salad into my tub. Small mistake and anyway they were willing to give me a new tub.

Then I ordered a bottle of juice. Which they put into the bag of the customer behind me, who'd also ordered the same juice. Small mistake, and they were told off by that customer who told them to give it to me first because I was in front.

Then I realized the mustard mayo was so light as to have no mustard flavor at all. ( I've never eaten mustard mayo but I assumed the flavor of mustard, otherwise why the name? Correct me please if I'm wrong.)

Then the 'hot' pasta I ordered was cold. Not cool, as in formerly hot then cooled, but cold. As in never hot at all. -_-!!!

I sat in the basement looking at my miserable cold pasta, wondering why I was doing this to myself in the name of health. And then a smell wafted by and I saw people eating takeaways from Best Fries Forever, tubs of thick fries all smothered with savory sauces.

Next time I'm here, diet be damned.

Irritated at being late, stupid cab drivers

I find it incredible that I can wake up 2 hours early, leave house 1 hour early and still be late.

Heres the background story: I'm supposed to go for a course today near boon lay at 9. Thinking of saving money I took mrt for half the distance and tried to flag a cab in choa chu kang.

Big mistake. First, hardly any cabs at 830. I waited at the taxi stand, nothing. So I started to book a cab. At 835 they sent me confirmation of cab no. So far so good.

Then I waited and checked my phone. With the iphone app i checked the location of the cab and saw that it was stationary in another place. I started to realise Something was wrong so I called the hotline again.

Here's a few things about the whole thing that got me so irritated. First, granted that I'm not at the same spot as the taxi. Usually the taxi driver at this point either tries to confirm the customer location with the company or they call the customer. I've experienced this before with other taxis so I thought either company or taxi would call. What I got instead was an automated phone call telling me to go to my stipulated pick up location as cabby was waiting there.
Notwithstanding the fact that I'm already there!

Next irritating thing, when I tries to walk to the location where the taxi was as shown on my iPhone, stupid taxi actually drove past me with the On Call sign! I tried to wave he didn't see me. I called the hotline, they said he picked up another passenger!!

Now Eff it all if I wasn't already totally pissed off by this point. I'm late already, I called a cab that not only didn't find me but actually drove past where I was empty and stupid phone operator can tell me he's already picked up another passenger when I just saw him drive past empty!!

Come to think of it considering how I totally yelled at the operator over the phone, maybe they figured that for his own personal safety the cab driver shouldn't pick me at all in case I really railed at him in the cab...

Finally they got me another cab which found me, and I managed to reach the place, although late by 30mins. Luckily smooth road all the way and even though the other taxi didn't know the way I directed him with iPhone GPS. ( thank you Apple )

Really was damned pissed off at that taxi. Do NOT ever let me see that licence plate number ever!

Something Old, Something New

Today I knew that my master bedroom was made for sleep.

In comparison, my old bedroom has windows along one length of wall, about 2m. There is lots of space for sunlight to stream in, and the old room conveniently faced a northeast direction. Even at night, headlights from the MRT depot nearby would shine in my general direction, so there was lots of 'moonlight' at night to see by. I had blinds, and later curtains, but because of the amount of furniture, I never really used them.

My new bedroom has windows half the length of the old ones. Already, during the day, I find it too dark to read comfortably, so I either read in the living room (not much better) or I switch on the lights. The window faces the opposite direction from my old room, and plus his computer table blocks most of it. ( Although I had furniture near the window in the old room, it never blocked the window itself. )

And the new bedroom has thick curtains. So when I drew them last night, I woke up this morning at 9am, in the darkness of 5am.

Hmm, quite the advantage for a weekend morning. :)

(except for my body clock, ticking off my hunger, which still woke up me up at 9 anyway -_-!!!)

Regrets i have a few

Dear friends, I regret to inform you that I may be spending much less time in your esteemed company. Be not affronted, as this is not a slight on you. Rather this is due to my reckless sentimentality.

You see, I happened to make the acquaintance of another. He is one that my husband and I met while at a sale. I was captivated by him upon meeting and I could not take my eyes off him for the rest of the time I spent there.

Finally when nearing time to leave, I could not bear to leave him to the greedy hands of the harlots around. I took him in my arms and we rode off into the sunset forever.

And hence because of this, I will be spending many nights at home, gazing adoringly at him. One day, I will introduce to all of you when the time is right. Till then, adieu to all.

one's own nest

Today is Saturday morning. I woke up slightly hung over from a baby shower ( ask me in person ) and after breakfast, one of the things I did was to sweep and wipe my bedroom floor.

This would not be such a big thing, except to people like my mother, ( who has a highly strong opinion on my therefore lack of housekeeping skills ) and people who've seen the state of my old bedroom at its best.

It would be a fair opinion. The number of times I voluntarily swept and mopped the floor of my old bedroom can be counted on both hands. Also with the number of bric-brac I had there, wiping everything free of dust would have been a task equal to the Aegean stables.

Why then am I actually getting up early on a weekend morning to engage in this housekeeping task?

One reason I think is the new sense of independence from living on my own. When you live with your parents, you don't have to worry much about the room getting dirty. First, you might have a maid that would take care of that for you. Second, the frequent nagging, sorry, reminders, from your parents would have made sure your room was cleaned on a somewhat regular basis.

When those two factors are not there anymore, who is responsible? Your parents aren't here, your maid isn't here. The only ones here are you and the extremely lucky soul who is sharing the room with you. In a way, I have to make sure I keep the room clean myself, because no one will do it for me anymore. ( Also, you have to keep the opinion of your MIL in a slightly more than average regard )

This was somewhat the case while I was living in the hostel. In the case of our laundry, taking loads of laundry back home to wash was a highly inconvenient option. You had to do your laundry yourself, or you went around naked and smelly in your room.

I think that's what one particular group of male hostelites did. Their room was near the kitchenette, so every time you went to boil water, you could smell the stench in the open corridor. Through the closed door. To this day, Yenn and I will always remember that room, despite never having ( and never wanting ) to see the guys who actually dared to stay inside.

Living oneself is like growing up in a way. It forces you to take responsibility for yourself, and to remember all those lessons in cleaning up and fixing up that your parents drove into your childhood. I do know of people who become changed characters when they start living on their own. You can tell that they have a different air of maturity about them sometimes, and they seem more confident of how to navigate in this world.

Well, that's life for you, isn't it? I can only hope that the longer I live on my own, that I can have that air of confidence already.

Highly Intelligent Ways of Insulting People

As an exercise in creativity, I decided to come up with a blog post that would be highly beneficial to most of humanity. Here then are some tips on how to insult people intelligently, enough that they may even think they are being complimented.

Use scientific terms where you can

- Dig up your old biology textbook and look for the scientific terms for flora and fauna commonly used in insults. My favourite for this example is the word 'bovine'. To the unknowing, it sounds similar enough to the word 'divine'. To those in the know, it really is an adjective for 'cow'.

- Examples you can use:

"You bovine specimen." = "You cow."

"How bovine." = "Wah cow"

Other words include 'porcine' (pig), 'rectal' (anal). Choose your favourite body part or deficiency and find out the intelligent term for it.

Enlist the help of a thesaurus

- You'll be surprised that the various words that can replace a simple 'stupid'. A simple check through http://thesaurus.com will give you:

dense

dim

half-baked

moronic

nonsensical

But why stop there? Use more intelligent adjectives like:

deficient

ill-advised

inane

insensate

ludicrous

obtuse

puerile

Don't you love the sound of some of these words? Imagine:

"You are a deficient, insensate and puerile person." Wow! How poetic~!

Channel Shakespeare

If you paid any attention during your literature lessons, ( and probably you didn't, or you won't have to consult this blog entry ) you would know that the Bard was highly capable of some very sharp retorts, hidden beneath his loquacity. ( Remember, thesaurus.com is your friend! ) The key is to make it sound like a flowery compliment. If you do this correctly enough, your target won't even know what hit him, and may even thank you for the line! To do this, first start out with a sentence that is a compliment:

"You're so pretty."

Now change it into an insult:

"You're so ugly."

Now change the adjective using a thesaurus:

"You're so uninviting." ( Use the most uncommon and most positive-sounding one you can find. If you use 'grotesque', for example, you give the game away. )

If it still sounds negative, confuse further with a positive adverb:

"You're so blindingly uninviting."

This method requires some skill in fine talking. So to carry this off, you have to use a smooth tongue, your brightest smile and your most charming manners. If you do this way, your target may even thank you! Use more practise and come up with better examples, for example:

"I am astounded at the depth of reprehensibility that you show."

"My dear, you are the most bovine example of womanhood that I can think of." ( Remember point 1: Your biology textbook! )

"I can think of at least a dozen men who can testify to the depth of your prowess." = "I think you're a slut."

Exercise your creativity indeed! To end off, here are some last tips:

Check carefully the meaning of any insult you craft before use. You do not want to accidentally compliment the target instead, or come up with something too obtuse, like "You are a window."

Check grammar also. Use of wrong grammar means you're the one looking stupid, not your target. This is especially so in the 3rd method.

Practise your insults before use. When you are using these, you want a perfectly straight expression or a loving one, to send your target in the wrong direction. Remember that you are trying to make your target accept an insult as a compliment. This is better achieved when you can use the appropriate body language and tone of voice. Think Casanova.

( *End note: The Author of this blog post takes no responsibility for any lives or reputation lost as a result of the methods listed here. )

Again, another time to dust off the dusty blog... :p

It’s now fresh into 2011. What can I say was the main achievement of 2010? Oh right, I got married......

And since I’m trying to start my blogging afresh, why not I talk about married life for a while.

Ever since I got married, everyone’s one question has been “How has married life been?” ( Variations include “How’s married life?” )

Maybe I can use this chance to answer that question in more depth.

My 1st impression is that Married Life is like Living In A Hostel. ( Of course, I got other benefits that I didn’t get from my pig roommate, but that’s another thing altogether... )

I now stay in a room in a shared apartment. The room is shared between me and another party. We keep both our laptops, our clothes and our books in the room and we share a bathroom. Also we ( or rather I! ) keep the room clean by sweeping it every few days. And my iPod is playing music.

Yes, from that description alone, it is very much like Uni days all over again. :p

My general lifestyle has not changed very much. I still ( most unfortunately ) go to work, I go out to all the same places I used to, with the same people I used to, and mostly at the same times I used to as when I was single. Being married has not stopped me from socializing with any friends, or stopped me from going any places.

Well, it does mean that I do ‘report’ my whereabouts to another party, but this is not forced onto me. Rather I tell him where I go just to let him know, or to try to cadge a free ride. Heh.

If there is a disadvantage, it is that staying in such close quarters with a person also highlights each other’s flaws in glaring detail. When he leaves things in the wrong place, I notice. Or he doesn’t do something that he is supposed to. Or when I bring home new shopping. Or when I eat too much fried garlic for dinner.

I try to adopt a zen approach to all these. Let not the pebbles make you fall flat into some rocks. So if it’s a small thing, like hair on the floor, I just sudah it lah. No point I get pissed off over him over a hair. Or a pebble. I just sweep it up myself and make myself happier. Hopefully the big rocks will not come yet. Or that all this zen will prepare me for the boulders.

But as a balanced perspective, it does also highlight more good points in him. Like how he told me to stay home from school when I was sick, because he never does that himself! Or how he has just offered to send me to work. (!!) How come dating that time never so nice??

Point being, somehow being married just... made him do more good stuff for me. Gawds, should I have done this earlier??

As for me? I feel more Peace when I am in the room. It’s nice to have a room with some library books, a laptop and an iPod dock. It feels comfortable here though a bit hard to read on the bed during the day, because of the sunlight. But it’s much more quiet than in my house, without brother walking in and out, Mother yelling for you to do something... Maybe that’s why I feel more like blogging ever since, because there’s more quiet around to think and reflect. No background noise from the TV downstairs, no nagging and grumbling about how I never fulfill my daughterly duties... Just the space to be... me.

Of course, this Peace could be temporary. Who knows if we will argue till one of us breaks the cupboard door with some hard object. Or if I produce two severe ADHD offspring. Or if the Peace will start to bore me.

For now, I am content to simply enjoy the moment for what it is, and make myself happier that way.