Dragonfly Reloaded

I can't believe the entire Dragonfly Saga took slightly more than 2 weeks. Somehow it feels much longer than that. Many thanks to Quet's advice on her blog. It's something I've heard before, but somehow find it hard to act on. Will keep it in mind, and try to positively act on it. :)

I attribute all the actions of the past week to hormones. One should never try to think about emotional issues when one is high on hormones or PMS-ing. Because then you do [and type] weird stuff and then later on, when your estrogen levels drop, and you become a rational human being again, you wonder, What the hell did I do all that for???

Thanks to all the advice, comments, and inquiries about my general state of mental health. I'm fine. Really, I am. And yes, I think I should write a novel about this or something. Might prove therapeutic.

The Dragonfly is still on my shoulder, and I haven't shooed him away or sprayed him with Baygon. And yes, he knows about the contents of this blog, and has read the entire saga too. More details later.

But anyway, maybe I should explain a bit more about the events over the past week. It'll explain [sorta] why I've been so down this past weekend and sorta clear up things I guess. Besides, Dragonfly's in reservist this week so perchance he won't get to read this entry at all! Mwahahahaha!

Anyway, I think the trouble all started when I went out on Friday. After helping out at the CJC library, we went to the Village at China Square. [it's a marche ripoff, even down to the cows] Then I found out that they sold Long Island Teas for the cheapo price of $9! Usually in pubs they sell these jokers for about $18 each, so yay!

I drank about 2 cups of the stuff and as the night went on, felt my sense of balance slowly slipping, slipping...... Lucky got Matt, Jeff and Tiong to see me to the MRT station. [otherwise I might've popped into 7-11 to buy another bottle] Take my word for it, I wasn't drunk. I was perfectly aware of what I was saying and doing, just that I was saying a lot of rubbish lah. Eg: On the way to the MRT station, we passed a group of NJC students and I said in a rather loud, slightly off tone: "What are NJ students doing here on a Friday night ah? Not at home studying ah?" before Jeff shooed me off hurriedly. I knew what I was doing, just that er, I thought it would be rather fun to say it and have them hear it.

So I was a bit "saeh" that night lor. And qiao of all qiao I meet Dragonfly at Bishan Mrt.

We walked home, and came to this sorta crossroads. Well, actually it's a staircase lah. Staircase up leads to his house. Cross the road, leads to my house. We stood there talking for a while. And then he said bye and went up to his house.

I was a bit pissed at that, because hey, it's midnight, I told you I was a bit saeh, and you couldn't take the 15 mins to walk me home because you had to go up and do a report?

I knew I was a bit more off than I thought....... Now it all sounds so damn baka when I see the words being typed down. Godammit.

So I called jcsz and we went for teh at the local kopitiam where I poured out all my frustrations over him, frustration at dragonflies, frustration at being single, and a lot of Bridget-style despair over police finding my decayed corpse in my 1-room flat being chewed by all my cats... ok, scratch that last part.

Simply put, PMS and alcohol do NOT a good match make. And how do I know it was partly PMS? Because my period started on Sunday and I suddenly became more lucid, and my brain emerged again. Like all the bad blood literally flowed out.... haha, disgusting joke I know.

Now this is where this post comes in. That was typed on Saturday morning, and I was feeling a bit better after my skating.

Well, not exactly, because my mom screamed at me and my bro for being lazy bastards the moment she woke up, effectively spoiling both our mornings. Great, another woman in the household on PMS. I went off for Jap in a semi-gloom-pissed mood.

Jap was ok, until halfway during the class, I decided to check my SMS. One of them was from him and it said:

what dragonfly?

and then OH NO!!!!! HE READ MY BLOG!!! HE KNOWS! HE FRICKIN' KNOWS! OH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL DID I TYPE EXACTLY???? WHAT THE HELL DOES HE THINK???

Calm down, calm down, I told myself, and then replied him:

oh did u c my blog?

And then no answer. This is where my mind starts to go wild. Is he mad? Is he pissed? Is he offended? Is he ever going to talk to me again as a friend? I tried to concentrate on my jap, but the train of thought went on many pit stops...

"Hai, now repeat, one to ten, ok? Ikimasho." said sensei. The whole class starts to chant, including myself.

"Hitori..."

"Futari..."

"Sannin..."
Is he offended by what I said on my blog?

"Gonin..."
Chia lat, why doesn't he reply me?

"Kyuunin..."
Why am I so kan cheong? Why should I be sorry for writing what I feel? What's it to him?

"Juunin..."

"ARGH!!!!!!!!!" I scream, "ANO KITANAI!!!" and fling my notes into the air while the rest of the class looks at me in bewilderment.

No, no that last part didn't happen. Really... What happened was instead, during break, I phone jcsz.

"OMG HE KNOWS. HE KNOWS THE STUFF I TOLD YOU LAST NITE BECAUSE I WROTE IT ON MY FRICKIN' BLOG. WHY AM I SUCH AN IDIOT."

"So? Let him read lah! It's how you really feel what!"

"But what if he doesn't want to talk to me again? I don't wanna lose a friend just like that leh!"

"If he's gonna drop you just like that, he's not WORTH having as a friend even! Don't worry about it, and just concentrate on your japanese!"

Sound advice... falling on a slightly unsound mind. Remember what I said about mind going wild when no replies to SMSes are received? Pisceans living with one foot in fantasy? My mind goes crazy and finally I send him this:

Hey... R U upset at me? I hope u din take offence or anything.

Why the frickin' hell did I do that? I donno. For the life of me, I DUNNO. If you put me up on a box in Abu Gharaid, holding 2 electric wires and forced me to explain, I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO. It'll be much easier for me to simply jump off and trust to Fate.

So then... he doesn't reply! My mind goes into a whirl and later when I meet Candle for dinner, I blurt out everything to her. Thank god I was meeting her for dinner because if I was alone, I think I would have gone even crazier. I told her all that transpired over that Friday night, I told her what he sent me, and I told her how crazy I was feeling just then. At the height of my frenzy, he replied my last SMS:

Huh? I just woke up.

ARGH!!!! KITANAI!!!! ANO SAITEI KITANAI! BAKANA INU! ANO YARIMAN! ANO BAKA! SHINE! SHINE! SHINE KUDASAI---------------! [Ok, you guys shouldn't know the meaning of those words, but I think you get the gist.]I go through all that worrying and he was freakin' ASLEEP????? More head banging in order.

BANG~

BANG~

BANG~

But anyway, Candle did make an interesting point that evening.

"Are you sure you don't like him?"

"Huh?" We were walking along the Citylink underpass, and I was admiring the Shrek mural when suddenly she asks me this. "Well, I think I don't like him in that way right now. I have the feeling that he's too busy with his work to spare any time for a relationship, and I'm not sure I can live with being a supporting role to his life."

"Now that's weird, because you're acting just like --- did when she was trying to chase that blockhead. [names blocked out to preserve anonymity] The words you wrote on your last entry, if he doesn't want to do anything, fine! I'll find myself another guy and show him!, don't you think that's exactly like what she said the other time?"

"Uh.... did she?" I rack my brains, and realise she's right. I don't remember the exact words but I remember the sentiments --- was conveying at the time.

"And that time, --- was the one doing the chasing, and she was frustrated at the guy not responding. YOUR one is reversed."

"So you mean it's sorta like I'm the prey begging to be eaten, but the predator isn't doing anything."

"Exactly."

What the freak? What's going on with me now?

"It's a very simple explanation." jcsz says, as he's driving down the CTE. It's now Sunday afternoon, and we were planning a leisurely afternoon in town.

"What?"

"It's not quite that you like the guy, but more like you like the idea of being chased. The attention, the idea that somebody likes you that way. That's why when he doesn't pay you any attention, you start to want that attention."

Once again.... so true. The more I think about it, the more I feel that's how it is. After being in singlehood for so long, and being convinced that you're somehow repulsive to the entire male race, the idea that someone could actually like you is pretty ego-boosting. I'm not exactly in love with the guy, I'm more in love with the idea that he loves me.

Is love supposed to be this godammed confusing? Or is anything to do with emotions pretty much the same? Because even though I feel what jcsz said is right, there's also a flutter of uncertainty as well. Like maybe mostly it is... and a little bit it's not?

I shouldn't think. I always get into more problems when I think.

And then later my monthly friend pays me a visit, so he sends me off home early, and I go straight to bed, not wanting to think about anything else besides when these damned cramps are gonna end. I wake up in time to catch Japan Hour on CNA, ogle at the crab and lobster dishes, and then go to bed again.

What a weekend. And of all things, it ends with an SMS from him.

paiseh, went out with parents din bring phone

I reply back:

well jus tot dat when u said u din have e habit of answering yr sms... how true, how true

We go on for a while, and then he asks:

So whose dragonfly? me ah? haha

My face turns a deep shade of crimson and suddenly I feel like hiding it under my pillows. It turns out that he saw my blog, got curious about the dragonfly, and then read the entire saga. Oh freaking shit. Just when I thought he was too busy to care, he suddenly gets interested and finds out the whole thing.

But anyway, it's slightly better this way lah. For one, I know he wasn't offended or anything by my last entries, and for another, I know he's still willing to talk to me. Even though I'm not sure exactly how I feel about him, I know that at least I didn't totally turn him away from me.

Because even if we don't work out in a relationship, I still want us to stay friends. I still want to maintain that basic level of friendship, and I don't want it to be awkward when we meet.

And at least with this blog, though it's caused me more anxiety than I thought it was worth over the weekend, at least he knows my feelings and how things are going on in my end. [even though it seems like I'm the one who needs to know what's going on in the other end]

So... the saga continues... The one lesson I take from all this, is to not anyhow post stuff on the Net when pumped with estrogen. And to not always wildly imagine stuff that aren't there most of the time. And to remember that there are always other aspects of my life to think about, my dreams, my students, my art, my friends. My world doesn't revolve around Dragonfly, and it shouldn't. There are other humans around me, and I shouldn't completely discount them altogether. There are other dreams for me to live for, and I shouldn't just chuck them aside either.

And when it comes to a relationship with him... I think I'm too screwed with hormones and emotions to think clearly on this. I need to start thinking rationally about how I really feel about him, and how I feel about a relationship with him. To do anything without considering this would be unfair to him and would just make us end up like that arguing couple in the street. Which I don't want. I have to make sure my foundations are secure and strong before I do anything. Remain the status quo, until I'm ready to roll the dice and move so many squares forward.

What a screwed up weekend. Sigh. Hope this week goes a bit better... and a little calmer. I've had enough of this kind of excitement, thank you very much. :p

Bang. Bang. Bang.

One of my frens [you know who you are] said that I shared some traits with her ex, and put it down to us both being Pisceans. I said thank goodness I was born on a cusp, or you'd've been driven mad by me long ago, and I would have been horribly, horribly crushed by you.

Now I think I share another trait with that ex. My mind goes wild when people don't respond to my SMSes and I start to come up with various theories on why they don't, sometimes ignoring the most simplest solution.

What to do? Pisceans belong to the realm of fantasy. If you've seen me stone out, or gaze out into space when you're talking to me, you know what I'm talking about. We live with one foot in reality and the other in fantasy, and can happily hop from one side to the other.

This time I think I spent too much time in fantasy, and when I frantically tried to hop back, I crashed into the boulder of reality.

I need a wall. One nice, solid, plain wall. For me to bang my head against. Bang. Bang. Bang.

Then again, here's a reason why I should be happy to be single.

The following scene takes place near a bus stop. A guy and girl stand facing each other. The guy is waving his arms wildly, his posture obviously aggressive towards the girl. He speaks to her, not loudly, but with his anger and frustration clear, even though you don't hear the words he's speaking. The girl stands with her arms crossed, and head turned away from him. She's not interested in hearing what he has to say, and it makes him all the more frustrated.

Later on, they sit down on a seat. Are they tired of standing and arguing? Well, one but not the other. Even while they are sitting down, the same show takes place. The guy is stabbing his finger in the air in front of the girl, as if to emphasize his point. His whole body is turned towards her, but hers is not. Her legs are crossed away from him, her eyes are on the road, and her hands are clenched on the edge of the seat, the only sign of anger she reveals through her cool poise. She only turns to him when she wants to return his riposte, and then she would turn away from him again.

Finally she decides she has heard enough. She turns her back to him, her body moving to face the road. He tries to take her hand, but she snatches it back with a hiss and quick reflexes. It is as if some dirty creature had just tried to touch her. Rebuffed, he can only sit there in stony silence.

At last she shows a real sign of emotion. She bends down and puts her hands on her head, a sign of surrender. What is she surrendering to? Has she decided to surrender to her emotions, and let loose her tears, but is still unwilling to allow him to view this sign of her fraility? Or has she decided to surrender this relationship to its untimely end, and let it die?

I will never know. My bus comes and I leave them alone. As I do, other couples walk past them, hand-in-hand in seeming mocking sympathy, for what they may have just lost forever.

Sad? The sad part I think is that this actually happened tonight while I was in town waiting for my bus. For a moment during the argument, I thought I could hear their quarrelling through the music in my earphones. I hope that was some other sound I heard.

Wonder what happened to them. Unrealistic expectations? Most people are always saying people our age have unrealistic expectations, even other people our age. Maybe that's what happened to them. They went into a relationship with ideas of what it should be, and when those ideas didn't gel, they broke apart. The couple is left, sitting apart in stony silence, and you can almost see the crack in the air between them.

Hai... Zannen desu ne......

Bored Skater, and No Love on her Hands

She still stands in the middle of the crowd, with the dragonfly still perched somewhere on her back. No matter what she does, it refuses to move from its perch, hidden from her sight.

She wonders at its motives. Why does it stay there? Why does it not fly away? Why does it not make an attempt to become human?

Even as she asks the questions, it still does not answer her. There is a slight flutter of wings, but she is not sure whether that was supposed to be an answer, or merely a reaction to the wind.

Then the answer strikes her.

Why does it stay there? It is comfortable. Why forsake its current security for the wild unknown?

Why does it not try to be human again? It is too used to being a dragonfly.

Existing as a dragonfly for too long, the memories of being human become dimmer and dimmer, and the consciousness of a dragonfly takes over. After all, she is not going anywhere. She is not with anyone. There is no threat to its security.


Why change the status quo?


Fine, she says, You may remain a dragonfly if you wish to.

You may perch on my shoulder if you want to, and there will always be space for you.

But I will not wait for you to turn human.

The power to turn you back into a human is not within me, it is within you. The burden of proof lies within you and not within me. It is not up to me to turn you into a human, but up to you to prove to me you can be human.

So you may take your time to decide, but I will not wait.

And if I find someone else, I hope you, little dragonfly, will be able to fly freely to another shoulder to perch.

Having finished, she looks at the crowd around her.

Teeming, moving, masses of humans, walking in their own directions, parting around her as she stands in the middle of them. Part of them, and yet apart from them. Someday, someone will notice and wonder why there is a space within this crowd of people, become curious, and walk into her space. He might walk with her, he might not. Till then...

She turns and starts walking, the crowd making way for her unconsciously as she does.

Melodramatic no? I feel as if I've run the entire gamut of emotions of a relationship without having exactly started one in the past 4 weeks. Weird, how can one even feel like one has broken up, without having started anything in the first place?

But anyway, the above italics more or less sum up what I feel about the whole Dragonfly situation I guess. Read into it what you guys will. And if the Dragonfly who knows who he is happens to read this, and wants a better explanation, call me up and let's talk.

Got a bit depressed last nite thinking about it though. [could have been due in part to the 2 Long Island Teas I had at the Village with the Lib Exco that day.] Had Bridget-Jones-style anxiety attacks about being a single, old virgin and having the police find my 1-month-old decomposed corpse in my small, pathetic, cat-filled one room flat.

Ok, not exactly that lah, but about potentially being single for an extremely, extremely long period of my life, and always wondering, What's wrong with me, what's wrong with me.

But after a midnight teh session with jcsz, my mind cleared up and brightened up a bit. I have many things in my life I can be thankful for, patient friends willing to read my crappy blog being one of them, and there is nothing [thankfully] wrong with me, ie I don't give guys the impression that I'm a les.

Hence, this personal ad, inspired by jcsz:

Friendly, easygoing girl seeks amiable company. Loves manga, anime, and most things to do with art. Loves to read fantasy and crime novels, and any other books or graphic novels that catches her interest. Learning Japanese, Malay, and hopes to take up French in the near future. Trying to take up rollerblading again. Also an avid blogger.

Needs freedom in her life. Don't try to tie her down to a 9 to 5 job or you'll kill her. Willing to take lower pay in order to enjoy the pleasure of waking up at 9 and taking in the sunshine and air, and crispy prata for breakfast. Don't insist that she stay at home and do all the housework too, because she has dreams, and being your domestic help is not one of them.

Strengths include an easygoing, "chin-chai" personality, a lesser emphasis on material belongings, and also a "cheap" nature. This means that she'll rather eat at coffeeshops or fast food than fancy restaurants most of the time, and that she'll balk at the idea of you spending too much money on her. Also doesn't worry too much about "face" value, so will not insist you do things like dress up, or treat all her friends to dinner, just to give her "face". She thinks that's nuts. Also has a wide open sense of humour and will laugh at most things other girls think are disgusting or uncivilised. Just make sure they're not malicious strikes at her friends or family or she will crush you beneath her Converse sandals.

Her main weakness is she does not doll up. Forget about her always togged in the latest fashions or always looking hot. To her, she'd rather be comfortable, so you're most likely to see her in T-shirts, or tanks and jeans most of the time. Her fashion sense is about 2 seasons out of date. Her makeup is non-existent, her face is clogged up with blackheads and oil, her nails are horrifying long, and she could stand to lose about 5 kg. She has terrible posture, her shoulders slouch, she has no grace when she walks, and at home, has a habit of propping one foot up on the chair like some kopitiam beng. She also eats too much fast food and she loves fries.

If you think you are willing to accept all the above, and love and cherish her to the end of days, please make contact for a screening test and interview session. What, you think it's gonna be that easy? She doesn't just pick up any old joe from the street you know.


A bit ego, but a bit gratifying too.


And to all who are disappointed in love, I can now tell you that the best solution is to go rollerblading. Yes, rollerblading. After the teh session, I woke up this morning at an abominable time and without clocking enough hours of sleep. Damn internal clock. Putting in mind what jcsz said about throwing things behind me, I went for a morning blading session to take my mind off things a while.

Damn, it worked. After a while, you're too busy concentrating on keeping your balance, making turns and avoiding the crowd of people in the park to worry about anything else in your life. That's why blading is good therapy. It forces you to think about other stuff, mainly not slipping and falling on your butt big time.

Which incidentally is what happened to me. I lost my balance at one stage, my skates flew out from under me and I landed on my butt so hard, I felt the impact on my ass.

Then up my spine.

Then to my lower teeth.

Lower teeth chattered and hit upper teeth.

Impact from upper teeth travelled over skull.

From skull travelled down spine again.

Then to ass.

Where it become one hell of an ass-ache. Bloody, bloody hell. And all that happened within the space of half a second. I had to sit there in the middle of the path for a while, to get my bearings back again, and I realised how apathetic Singaporeans are, because I sat there for a few minutes, and like 3 or 4 people went by me, before a lady took pity on me, and asked me if I was all right. Geez.

But the fall was actually in a weird, sado-masochistic sense, good for me, because after the fall, I had to heave myself up on my skates again, and continue skating. And shouldn't life be like that? We fall, we hurt, but we still have to get up again and continue the ride. And what a ride it was. Once I got my sense of balance again, I was happily whizzing down the paths, feeling the wind in my face, and flying free again.

The secret of life in a pair of blades. Who'd've thunk? Forget all those expensive therapy bills and Valium pills. Invest in a good pair of skates, learn, and everytime you think life sucks, go out and blade. Trust me, it's good for you.

Though not necessarily for your ass.

Thanks for bearing with me till now. As a prize, here's something I saw on the Net about How Singapore May Have Been.

A Whoozy Week

Meow meow meow...

It's been a whoozy of a week this week. Seem to be meeting different pple every day:

Mon - CJC Lib with Matt and Jeff. ( See previous post on damaged light switch )

Tues - Dinner with Necroz in town. Much complaining about work, PMS-ing bosses and non-existent dragonflies.

Wed - Swimming date with Quet suddenly changed to shopping trip for her long overdue birthday present. Followed by...

Comedy night at Bar None

I happened to see an ad about this in the papers and since it was $10, asked Quet along for a go.

First off, BN's location is one of the shadiest-looking ones. You walk down the road between Scotts shopping centre and the Marriot and there's a sign that discreetly states its presence. Then you walk down a winding flight of stairs to the basement before you come to the bar itself. All they needed were the 2 red lanterns hanging at the entrance.

And because it was sponsored by Guinness, everything everywhere was guinness, guinness, guinness... and neither of us drank beer. Boink. Ended up ordering Absolut Sin n Absolut Stress, between the 2 of us. Some girl in a huge guinness hat also tried to "tneh" us to buy some Guinness cocktails. Sorry girl, the cutesy trick is lost on us. Try some other horny Caucasian.

The main act for the night was supposed to be the Canadian Improv Theatre. Now why I was interested in it, was that the concept seemed to be exactly like Whose Line Is It Anyway. A bunch of actors on stage, and acting out scenes on request from the audience. Hey that sounds cool, since I love WLIIA.

Unfortunately....

I dunno whether it was to do with the sound system there, or the actors themselves, but most of the jokes were just lost on me and Quet. Half the time, we were wondering what the games were about, and when they started talking, we couldn't even catch what they were saying. And when we did, we were like, "Huh? Was that funny?"

Damn. Let-down.

Thank goodness for Selena Tan's opening act on Sex in the Lion City. That was hilarious, and she had us red in the face, laughing like maniacs before the drinks even arrived. So essentially I guess we paid $10 to see a Selena Tan skit? Sigh... Time to leave...

Thurs - Indian buffet lunch with Jubilee14 and DoE at Excelsior.

I never even knew this place existed. It serves a vegetarian Indian buffet lunch and is located on the 2nd floor of the shopping area next to Excelsior Hotel. And the best part of this is?

You can pay any price you want.

No shit. Pay Your Own Price. For all the food you think you ate.

My first thought on hearing it was: "How the heck did they survive?" Well apparently they could. It seems to be run by some sort of Indian charity organization, so there's a slight guilt factor working here, ie if you don't pay fairly, someone won't have enough rice to eat. I think most of the proceeds go to charity or something, so that explains it.

Then all the food is vegetarian also. If you guys are wondering how is it I, a confirmed carnivore, managed to go for a vegetarian buffet and stand it, well they have the most amazing spiced potatoes! Mwahahahaha! Plus the naan and chappatti dipped in yoghurt sauce is really good! Mmmmm.......

The minus point of it was that with all that carbo loaded up in us, and the yoghurt lassi drinks as well, me and Jubilee14 were later walking around with boulders in our stomachs. Oh good god...... and we didn't even eat more than 2 servings each. I swear!

Atkins-ers, stay away.

Friday - Today! After I finish this post, I'm going back for a full reunion at the CJC library this time. No more damaged property this time I hope.

And incidentally, Prof Lye of Bizad Pub actually remembers my no. and called me up asking me to go for a reunion of Bizad marketing students. Considering that I'm close to like, none of them? Not going... Would rather go for tuition and earn some money. Hee.

Unfortunately, it also turns out that Prof Lye is now a financial planner hawking some unheard-of endowment plan and pushed me to meet him one day so that he could tell me all about it. Urgh. Despite me pushing him my best and most valid excuse ["I'm a tuition teacher, I earn $15 an hour, I sure as hell DON'T have enough money to invest in anything right now!"] he still insisted on meeting up. ["I know you definitely don't have the income to invest in this, but I think this is something I should tell you about."]

Groan. I forgot how pushy Prof could be when he really wants to accomplish something. Lesson learned: Never ask a financial planner to elaborate about their jobs.

So now I'm meeting him Mon to "talk" about this. This job was so made for him.

Last week I was whining about not having anything to do. This week my schedule suddenly piled up. Bleah. Is this called getting more than you reckoned for?

And I'm starting to realise that my memory could need some help. There have been several occassions where for eg, I planned to meet up with A on Mon, and then a week later, I tell B that Mon's fine to meet. Then later the horrible realization of my boo-boo strikes me, and I have to make frantic calls to re-schedule. Sorry, sorry, sorry to anyone affected......

It's not just about the books

Just yesterday I went down to the CJC library once again, with Matt, Jeff, and one of my great-grand-juniors. [unfortunately I forgot the name] Our year's library exco really should be given a long service award by CJC for coming back every year to visit and help out in the library. It's been 5 years since we graduated and we're still coming back to visit and help out. [though all visits mean that we will end up helping one way or another]

It's almost like going to NS for 2 years, and then coming back to camp every year for reservist, just that here we work in an air-conditioned environment and get the occassional curry chicken lunch in the lib. [well, of course we aren't gonna eat canteen food!]

This time me, Matt and Jeff ended up shifting these brown shelves all the way from behind the computer terminals, to a seminar room outside the library, that I didn't even know existed. To those that remember the layout of the CJC library, this means that we heaved them onto trolleys, pushed them through the staff-only area behind the counter, through the literature books, and then to this blue door at the corner of the library. Open the door, and there's a long corridor that goes all the way to a hidden seminar room. Then heave the shelves onto the floor, go back out and get another shelf.

There's a lot of muscle in Jeff's body that's probably aching like crazy right now.

And then when we were shifting a shelf, the thing nearly toppled over! First it nearly toppled onto me, but thankfully Matt was nearby to help me balance it back. [goddammit that shelf was heavy!] Then lately while we were pushing it through the door, the trolley sorta tripped on a crack on the floor and it fell against the wall! And when we put it back on the trolley again, we found out that it had smashed a light switch!

You know, I really thought those things were stronger than that...

So now Jeff has to buy a new cover for that light switch and screw it back on on Friday and hope Madam or Mrs Ng doesn't notice in the meantime. They're really particular about preserving things in a useful condition, [explains why they're librarian staff] even to the point of keeping old slides and even microfilm. I never even knew we still had microfilm in the library. All on subjects ranging from King Lear to Statistics and Probability. Good god. I tried to persuade them into throwing it away [who uses microfilm these days in school??] but they insisted on keeping it, and so hence the 3 of us had to shift these things to the seminar room along with the shelves. Damn.

Funny thing about us is that our 98/99 exco is the exco with the most number of people who are willing to come back and help out Madam and Mrs Ng. Wonder why it's just our exco. Previous excoes did visit but I don't think they came back for as many years as we did. Our juniors, faleron's batch, do come back, but not in the same numbers as us, and of Matt's batch, [our grand-juniors] only he ever bothers to come back.

The number of people joining the library has also decreased. My batch had about 18 people as librarians. This year the intake was only 8. Bleah. No wonder Madam [the Malay lady] had to call us back to help out. And with the ECA points needed for entry into Uni, it's no surprise. There isn't any competitions or stuff for you to earn extra points in the library society, so as an ECA advantage, it lags behind the sports and other societies. Not to mention the work and the hours you had to log in as well, and for a measly 2 ECA points out of 2 years in CJC.

I mentioned this to Jeff while we were sitting in the little library office, eating our KFC lunch. [yes, ex-librarians DO get the privilege of eating in the library.] I said that with the Uni entry requirements changing to put more importance on ECA points, most students would rather join a society that allowed them to earn as many points as possible in order to better their chances for Uni.

He frowned. "That's true, but..."

"But?"

"But joining an ECA isn't always about the points what. It's also about the people."

Such a simple, true statement. Somewhere along the lines, we forgot that the purpose of joining any new club or society was to "make new friends" and simply to enjoy yourself. ECAs weren't just another way of getting yourself into Uni. They were also a way for you to take a break from school, and hang out with a bunch of people with the same love and interests as yourself, and generally have a good time. And ironically, the fact that they look a bit more closely at your ECA record now has resulted in these objectives being thrown to the back, and made ECA just like another academic subject you had to pass.

I remember joining the library on a sort of whim, because I like books and I wanted to see what working in a library, surrounded by them, would be like. I never thought of getting into exco, I never thought of ECA points, I just did it for the sake of doing it. And the returns I got back were so much more than what I put in. Friends, [who bother to keep contact] memories, a lot of outings after graduation, BBQs, and curry chicken in the library.

Memories:
Of me voting Jeff for President, before I even knew who he was
Deb: Hey hey hey, let's all sabo Jeff and put his name down as President.
Me: Oh, ok. Later thinks: Who's Jeff?

Of me, continually at verbal swordpoint with Jeff, even to this very day.

Me fencing with DMT, kefling and whoever stood in my way, with the newspaper sticks we used for orientation games with the juniors.

Me and fid sitting at a computer, giggling at the atrocious fantasy story I was writing about the members of the exco, while Steven and DMT wondered what the heck we 2 girls were getting up to. [boy, that story was a bomb. Wonder what happened to it?]

How can you put a price to these kind of memories and experiences? How many points can you allocate to friendships and bonds? To even put a price on it, would be to cheapen them, and to make me into some kinda ECA-whore, getting points for the points alone.

What motivation theory was that, that said that if you let someone do something they like, they will happily do it without expecting payment. However, if you start to pay them for doing it, they will lose the motivation to do it? That theory could be all so true.

Oh wellz, to friends, memories, and many more curry chicken lunches in the library. ;)

I am Jell-O

Reading through Xiaxue's blog entry on Sat about guys preferring "shu nus" [chinese. Shu4 Nu3. I tink that's how it goes] struck a chord in me. Seeing her words, her ravings, minus [most of] the fucks...... those could have been my words. My thoughts. Although I donno if they would have been ravingly blurted out on a website like that, I recognise the sentiments behind them.

Quoted:
Because you know what? Gentle, sweet, irritatingly perfect "creme brulee" Cameron Diaz got the man instead of arrogent, confident "jell-o" Julia Roberts. And no matter what Roberts says about how her character is unique, distinct and true, she can jolly well fuck herself because the guy making love to Diaz (thats right, its the flighty nitwits), not her.
~Xiaxue

You hear the same advice repeated over and over from tons of different friends. There will be someone out there for you. Be patient. Wait and the goods will come to you. [and just as Xiaxue said, the advice mostly came from friends who were happily attached at the moment. No offence guys, but...] Well, I've waited 23 years [technically er, about 10 years, since I started puberty?] and I'm still single. For all my uniqueness, my distinctness, and my trueness, I'm still pretty wandering the earth by my lonesome.

The feeling is worse when you're around people, ironically, because it just highlights how by yourself you are. After Dragonfly and I parted on Sat and I went down to the Science Centre, this feeling struck me again.

Standing in the middle of a huge crowd of people, walking their own directions. Most of them with someone else. And everyone moves to avoid you, unconsciously, as if they barely noticed you, as if you were just a lamppost in the road.

Even when you stand in the middle of all of humanity, you manage to maintain a space, a boundary around you that no one feels compelled to enter.

And the one thing that managed to fly in, above the uncaring crowd, landed on your back, where you couldn't notice it, though you felt its presence. You know it's there, you want to make contact, but it remains perched on your back, and for reasons unknown, it refuses to move.

Not even to look face to face with you.

Melodramatic, yes. The sentiments have rubbed off on me. I'm going to escape up to my room now and lose myelf in a book.

Leastways that way I avoid having to think any more deeper about this.

On a happier sidenote, Carl Jensen's "I have seen the world begun" is a most engaging read. The book is a series of thoughts and essays that he wrote while travelling in China, Cambodia and Vietnam, and his viewpoint on things is... penetrating? Insightful? I donno how to describe it well. Just to say that he doesn't just describe the physical of what he sees, but also the thoughts, the ideas, the Soul behind the places and people he sees. [my methods of expression are really horrendous and lacking. this is what happens when you don't stimulate your mind. argh.] This is the kind of tourist-writer that I won't mind becoming.

That way I won't just go to a place and later proclaim "there's nothing to see". :p *friendly jibe*

Commenting on the Bird Park, Comets and Dragonflies

I really should consider buying a data cable to transfer pix from my phone directly to the PC. Right now I use the PC a lot more than I use my laptop, so the savings in terms of time would definitely be better. On the other hand, the cable costs $88 so the savings in terms of money......

Oh, to win the lottery......

Anyway, the reason why I'm really considering this now is that I'd some pix in my phone that I wanted to show but to do that, I'd have to infra it to my laptop one by one, which is really irritating. Especially when I get the really loud BEEP! for a failed transfer and I have to press the button SEND over and over again until the damn thing gets through.

Oh well, but I will (hopefullyX3) get a digicam next week! I'm gonna get the Canon all-weather model, 3MPX, 3X Op for $299! Plus the 5000 petrol points that my dad's never used. :p

"You do realise, though, that I will not be able to pay you back till I come back from Europe?"

Dad: "That's ok. I'll just chalk it up to the huge pile of debt that you still owe me. *smile*" Dang.

Speak and be read

Do you guys see a Comments link at the end of the entry?

No? Damn, I did something wrong. Try clicking on the little link at the bottom of the entry that has the time. You'll come onto the archived version of that entry. Scroll to the bottom and there should be a Comments link there. If not, well, the tagboard's still there.......

Yes, blogger now comes with Comments, so if you're divinely inspired to say something about what I wrote, you don't have to scroll to the top, but you can just click on the link. Or rather I hope it works. I actually got a Comment from an Isshan, dunno who he is, dunno where he came from, saying that I could do better in choosing a favourite fantasy writer other than Eddings. ( ??? ) Well, if you are reading my blog, all I can say is that I like Eddings' brand of sarcastic, dry humour, that I haven't really found anywhere else. I don't think about whether the characters are cardboard, [though I would agree the ones in Redemption of Athalus is] and whether the plot is standard. To apply an age-old generic argument: "To each his own." :p

I'm kinda bemused, actually, at 1) the Comments working, because when I first tried to activate them, I ran into problems and they told them Comments Not Working or something to that effect. And then suddenly I realise they could work. And 2) that this guy has popped out of the blue to comment on my choice of favourite writer. Like, where the freak did you come from??? Did you google me or something?? Do I know you at all?

Yes, yes, I know. It's the Internet after all......

Leave it to the birds

Visit to the Birdpark wasn't too bad. The one thing that struck me was the sheer colour of all the birds around. Most of the birds you see in everyday life come in black, brown, white, but these birds were a multitude of rainbow colours! The ones that greeted us at the entrance was the famous red-blue-yellow macaw that we see on all the colouring pencil boxes, and gods, their colours look soooo much better in real life than on the boxes.

And I saw a Hedwig! Real life snowy owl, in a special enclosure that had hardly any light in it at all, and was dedicated to birds that lived in the dark. It was so pretty, but in terms of majesty, couldn't beat the Eurasian owl. [I swear I got that name wrong, but anyhow...] This owl is huge, must've been about knee height and the wing span was fantastically long... *Sigh*

Bird show was ok, your usual bubbly-over-the-top host showing off the birds doing their little circus act, but the Birds of Prey show is mucho better. Before the show starts, you're warned to keep all food away, lest something snatches it out from midair. Then when the birds come, whoa...... the birds of prey have a sheer majesty about them that the other birds in the park just don't have. As they stretch their wings, as they glide in midair a hair's breath away from your head, suddenly, you feel like prey. You feel vulnerable below these magnificent creatures, and you are aweful of them for that. How to describe the feeling you get when you see a creature so much more powerful and free than you are?

Then at a point of the show, they asked a 10 year old girl on stage, to hold a plate with a strip of meat on it, while the kites flying overhead would swoop down onto the plate and snatch the piece of meat away. Damn, they're fast. Before he even finished explaining it to her, one kite had already swooped down, gulped the meat down and flew off. And how do they feed these birds in the air? 2 keepers stand with slingshots and sling the meat into the air, where the kites would fly swiftly towards it and catch it deftly in their beaks, all in midair! Dang!

The funny part was when he suggested he put the meat on her hand instead. (!!) The look of consternation on her face was soooo hilarious... hee... And when he asked the audience Who wants to see them take the meat from her hand? she went Nooooooo and had this Oh God don't do this to me look on her face. Hee.

Well of course he didn't do it! I don't think the Bird Park is ready to be sued for a kite biting the hair off her scalp!

OK, I definitely the birds of prey to anything else in the park. Hee. The rest of the birds are unique because of their colour and plumage. The bird of paradise, for example, has a tail so long and fine, it looks like hair. Pure white hair cascading from its butt. :p The scarlet ibises are, well, scarlet, and there were tons of other small birds in the walkthrough aviaries in tons of different colours. A feathery kaleidoscope of colour. A flash of blue in the greenery. A spot of yellow flying before your eyes.

But I think the real masters are still the Predators. I still prefer majesty over colour. I think the sight of a pair of powerful wings, spreading itself wide, and strong, hooked talons are infinitely more awe-inspiring than a cute bird with pretty colours. Don't get me wrong, the cute birds are cute, but given the choice... make me an strong, large hunting bird. And carnivorous.

Hmmmm..... Meat......

Well, Newbie had to leave after that and because I don't like the idea of staying at home on a Sat night, I made my way to see...

Comets!

Though unfortunately, I didn't see any at all because tonight was too cloudy. Bleah.

Anywayz, the Science Centre has been advertising the appearance of Comet NEAT and Comet LINEAR for this week and next week. So on the 20 and 21 of May, they'd be opening later than usual [till 2130] so that people can come in and see the comets. [if they're lucky]Since I had nothing to do for the rest of the night, I stopped off at Jurong East to go there.

And half the folks there are... kids. You notice this the moment you walk in because of the reverse bungee that had been set up near the entrance, with a line of kids eagerly waiting their turn to be catapulted into the air and have their stomachs turned upside down. Dragged down by their parents in the name of scientific interest, and hoping their kids will develop a healthy interest in a subject that will prove of utmost importance in shaping their academic career. Ok, I digress.

Then, you notice... Gandalf???? Promoters for the LOTR exhibition, dressed as Frodo, [reminded me of keng leong for some reason. dunno why.] Gandalf, Arwen, and a Ringwraith, giving out pamphlets for the exhibition, and taking advantage of the added crowds coming to see the comet.

Over near Mac's, they put up a screen to show a movie that would add to the atmosphere. Mind you, this is a comet viewing, right? So what did they show? Deep Impact. Hm, I wonder at the irony. You're there to promote astronomy, by inviting people to view 2 comets in your place, and you show a movie about a comet potentially blasting the Earth apart. Er, whatever... Kinda like a butcher showing "Babe" at his meat stall.

Movie was boring, so after a while, I made my way to the observatory, and came out to see a sky full of... clouds. Argh! Where's the stars?? Where's the moon?? Where's the comet??? Dammit. Feels like a kid all hyped up to go to the amusement park, only to find all the rides suck.

On the other hand, though, kudos to the staff for making the night a bit more interesting. How do you entertain a bunch of restless kids, all clamouring for something to happen? You show off a $2000 laser. A mean piece of apparatus that shone all the way to the sky, and you hear all the kids go, "Waaaaa......" Then you fire a couple of rockets into the air, asking them to count "5....4....3....2....1! Blast off!" and as the little rocket shoots off, you hear them go, "Waaaa......" again. It doesn't take very much to entertain kids, it seems. Once you manage to tear them away from the TV, computer, and Playstation anyway.

But after that, I looked at the sky, and decided that with all the clouds in the air, I wasn't gonna see any comets tonight. I made my way back to the garden where they were showing the movie and played with some of the exhibits there. One was a big red round hear with a large black round nose. Think of a Mr Men character. What you do is you turn the nose 6 times very quickly, say something into the mouth, and later on, it repeats it back at you. The thing must have a child filter though. When I said "Lah" and "Wah lau why like that?" it repeated it to me. When I said "Stupid thing" and "Oh shit" it didn't. Humph. Should've tried f**k or something.

Then there's the pulley. Think of the rope climbing frames we had in school. Now think of a giant weight attached to the bottom of that rope, and a sophisticated pulley device at the top of the frame. What you do, is stand on the weight, and pull yourself up using the rope, while standing on the weight. So you're lifting yourself up while standing on the weight. Trust me, but standing there trying to pull yourself up really works as a motivator to lose weight. :p Especially when you have to lift yourself up somewhere.

What an educational day. Afternoon in the Bird park and evening in the Science Centre.

A dragonfly tale

This is a story based on the Dragonfly on the Shoulder story I wrote a while back. [start browsing, people...] However, the only scene that's been flashed in my mind so far, is the following scene. :p Maybe next I'll flesh out the story and people as I go along.

Or maybe I'll just continue from here. I don't know.


She holds her hand up to her shoulder, and the little dragonfly that was perching there all along walks onto it. She then lifts it up to her face, so that it's facing her.

What are you thinking? She wonders silently to herself.

Why are you content to simply stay there on my shoulder? Don't you want to fly? Don't you want to be human? Why do you prefer to just stay there and do nothing?

She receives no answer from the dragonfly. It looks at her with beady, unreadable insectile eyes. Its wings quiver slightly, as if contemplating an answer, but nothing comes to her. Then it flies off and lands lightly on her shoulder. Out of her sight, she only knows its there because she feels the slight weight on it, and the flutter of its wings.

Other than that, it does nothing.

It's amazing what a day of shopping and hanging with the girls can do for your mental stimulation. For starters, we watched...

Facing Windows

I'm starting to be of the opinion that any film out of Hollywood is good. Take this Italian film for example.

Giovanna is wife to Flippo, and faces all the problems that inevitably comes with marriage. Her husband doesn't listen, her kids don't obey, and her job sucks, though she hangs on for the money. With all the disappointment and discontent going on in her life, it's no wonder she starts to notice the cute Lorenzo, staying conveniently in the building across the street from her. From her kitchen window, she has a perfect view of the going-ons in Lorenzo's life. Does anyone think she's doing it because she has no TV? :)

So one day Giovanna and Flippo run into an old man in the streets, who's completely lost his memory, and mutters the name, "Simone" to them. They take him home, much to Giovanna's chagrin and care for him, while waiting for the police to notify them on any news. While she's totally irritated by the appearance of a stranger-potential-psycho-maniac and hence potential threat to her children, she slowly develops concern for the old man and even becomes friends with him in the end. Through the show, Simone also teaches her the value of life, to cherish what you have and hold no regrets.

Oh, and of course she meets and falls in love and tries to sleep with Lorenzo. :p

One of the things I like about foreign films is that unencumbered by Hollywood standards, they tend to have more originality, and rely more on talent, rather than big names to lure the audiences into the theatres. This is no exception. The age-old story of adultery has been given a few twists here and the ending is not exactly the typical happily-ever-after. [can't give it away. go watch it.] Though the adultery between her and Lorenzo and the old man Simone seem unconnected at first, it turns out that their stories are much more similiar than they thought, and everything is weaved out evenly in the end.

I also liked the parts where the amnesiac Simone appears to encounter spectres from his past as he traipses around in the real world. As he walks through a street, a woman would run to him, imploring him to help save her babies. As he dances with Giovanna, he is transported back in time to another flat, to another person, though he is still dancing with Giovanna. Past and present intertwine in an impossible dance.

Also remarkable is the main soundtrack of the movie, "Historia De Un Amor". [yes, we stayed back long enough to see the title on the credits] How can I describe the strains of the violin? As I sit here, I hear it in my mind once again, that simple refrain, the bow being pulled smoothly across the strings, a passion demanding for release. *sigh* I might just buy the VCD when it comes out just to hear that song again and again. And when accompanied by a very modern, trance beat.... *double sigh*

Without you
The red is not as red
the sky is not as blue


For the incurable romantic, or the hardened heart.

Women and Shopping

Might as well have titled this Fish and Water. Humans and Air. Simon and Garfunkel.

A current Newsweek article has printed an article on women, girlfriends and the bonding hormone once again, oxytocin.

3 cheers for oxytocin. Without it, we'd have no friends, no kakis, and a general collapse of the retail economy in general. Yes, women need shopping. And we need to shop with friends.

Here is the part where all the bemused men need to start reading. Why is it women love to shop? And why must they shop with friends?? Well, 1) Women are genetically engineered to be social creatures. Scientists believe that this is because unlike men, who generally compete for mating rights, [hey I have a BMW. Wanna f**k?] women have to be social creatures in order to make sure their offspring survive. Y'see, once the men've had their screw, they're basically off looking for the next screw, and so it's up to the woman to raise and take care of the child. [boy, this sounds sooooo familiar....] So in order to make sure their offspring survive, women have to band together in groups to take care of all the kids. [think soccer moms...]

2) Face it, there will always be more women than men. It's a genetic necessity in order to facilitate the survival of any species. Hence, in order to attract better mates, the women have to put in more effort in their appearances in order to look more alluring, more sexy, and general more willing to screw. Hahaha, just kidding...... But basically, most of women's fashion and cosmetics is designed to show off the parts of a woman's body that shows off her fertility, ie boobs, butt, stomach.... rouge for the lips, blush for the cheeks... Women need to look good to ensure future reproduction.

Put these 2 factors together and TA-DAH! This is where Taka, Wisma, and all the other shopping centres come to mind.

But other than these, there are definite advantages to shopping with your friends that you can't enjoy while shopping with strange females or guys. [boyfriends included. sorry guys...] For one, because they're friends, they'll choose stuff that'll look good on you, even if you don't think so at first. Common refrain: "Oh God, this will look great on you! Try it! Try it!" The last 2 phrases being punctuated in shrieks. They'll also pick out stuff that you won't normally wear, and encourage you to try new designs. "Oh c'mon! You're always wearing black. Try this shade for a change!" and they can instinctly pick out what they know you'll like. "Hey! They have it in your colour!"

Sound familiar? Read on...

Also, they're your best allies in the dreaded fitting rooms. If it doesn't fit, if the colour sucks, and if the back of your bra can be seen in that backless dress you're wearing, they don't care. The fitting rooms are where the final barriers come down. Even though in front of the rest of the world, you have to make sure your appearance is flawless at all times, in the fitting room, you are vulnerable in a state of half-dress, and naturally your close gal friends are the only ones you're gonna give a view of your unsightly stomach bulge in that shirt you're wearing. [boyfriends and husbands excluded, because most fitting rooms don't allow any men in at all.] Cheers to friends who can look at you honestly and give you truthful, constructive criticism, and who can accept you, bulges and all, in the fitting room!

Side: Though I have to admit, it galls me to have to shop in Singapore where everything to geared to the petite form. I mean dammit! Half the stuff I tried on, I couldn't even pull down past my chest! So while I can take comfort in the fact that I have broad shoulders, and that my waist isn't my biggest problem area, I have to also accept that, like one salesgirl wryly remarked, I am a very wei3 da4 woman. Bleah.

But I did manage to find another pair of XL Thai fishermen pants. Yay! Love those cos they're so casual and slack [hence suiting my present state of mind] and they're cheap and different from the jeans everyone else is wearing, and they're freakin' $10! Mwahahaha... wanted to buy some long-sleeved hippie shirts, but Quetz and Candle pulled me away in time. Phew...

And then later in the night, with Yenn, we found this shop in the Heeren that was having a sale, and everything was $10, and I bought this blue and white hawaiian-flower top. *sparkles in eyes* haha, Quetz, Candle, we should have shopped at Heeren. The Annex is undergoing renovation, so that shop had a sale, and there were some new shops in there as well. Nearly bought more cosmetic jewellery and hairbands, [blue camouflage!] and once again, my bank account was saved by Yenn......

New pants, and new top. Ah, life is good......

Apologies for the infrequent updates. My mind has been dulled lately, spammed with books, dragonflies, kids' exams, salaries, Europe expenses....... Argh! Not much in the way of intellectual activity there! Thankfully after a while, I managed to write a little piece about school and life in general. Scroll down...

Incidentally, last nite while at TP with Necroz, I saw something totally cool, it was a MINI POOL TABLE!!! Courts is selling a mini pool table, and it's not some cheap plastic thing, it's like made of the same materials for an actual pool table, so the balls are damn solid and the cue is wood! AARGH!!! I WANT! But it's $60!!! *cries* I found it so freakin' cute, I actually played on it for a while, despite Necroz's profound embarrassment. She said I was like some big kid playing with the table, but I repeat: IT"S FREAKIN" CUTE!!!

For Slayer's interest, DoE and I went to Sylveracyd's house for dinner last Sat. Now, the interesting thing about this visit is that Sylveracyd is currently studying in Adelaide, and her parents were nice enuff to have me n DoE over for curry chicken dinner. *Smackeroos!* Afterwhich, they set up the webcam, and let us see Sylver online through the cam, and even talk to her on their handphones. *2 thumbs up* to these parents. But is it any wonder, considering they've known DoE since she was like, 2? :p

Sylver looks much the same, though she's BORED STIFF OUT OF HER MIND over there. Can you blame her? Put a vivacious, party animal in a place like Adelaide, and no wonder she feels restless. Krystal, do you get the same way sometimes? ;p We spent the time chatting, making stupid faces in front of the webcam, insulting her stuffed fish, [ok, that last one was me, and resulted in me getting whacked with a stuffed pea by DoE] and she showed her some pix of her and her bf too.

Sylver> Hey hey lemme show you something
*Pic of her n BF appears on screen

[note: Her family doesn't know of BF]

Khel> Eh the screen just froze

[sometimes due to connection probs the frame will hang, and the scene be stuck there for a while]

Sylver> Wat??

Khel> Yah the pic's stuck there, and your mom's coming out of the kitchen

Sylver> OH NO!!!!!

Boing. Nah, the screen unhung itself b4 her mom came out, so it was fine after all. :p

Otherwise the past week, I've been hopping from house to house for tuition as usual, and then coming home and reading. At the house of my O' Level English student, I realised that an awareness of current affairs could be severely lacking in our youth. [or at least the one I'm teaching anyway] So onto the essay proper...

School of Life

This actually happened during a recent lesson with my O' LEvel English student:

Me: Ok, I want you to write an essay saying whether you agree with this phrase, ["Spare the rod, spoil the child"] and make references to the Nan Chiau incident.

Student: What's Nan Chiau?

Me: *blink blink* Did I pronounce that wrong? Nah-n Cha-o? Nah-n Qia-o?

Student: Oh, that sounds familiar, is that the one where the guy committed suicide?

Me: ?????????????????

What the freakin' heck???? This topic has been making the rounds of the newspapers, the TV, the Internet forums, and all the kopitiams around Singapore, and you have no idea what it is about??? What insulated, plexi-glass dome have you been living in the past few weeks??? Good God!!!

Everytime I encounter a student with problems in English, [or current affairs]I make the sincere vow that I will teach my kids to READ, read as if your LIFE and SOUL depended on it. Ye Gods! I'm not gonna let them out into the world with bad English, bad writing and total ignorance of the world outside the entertainment sphere!

In fact, wonder whether you think we learned the really important stuff in school after all. I mean, we pay all that money in school fees, uniforms, books and stationery, and all they teach you are some stupid Grammar, maths and science concepts, half of which we don't even use once we're out in the real world. And then lessons like Civics and Moral ed, they pass you over to bored, uninterested [and hence uninteresting] teachers and give you dumb exam questions, like one that popped out in my Sec 3 exam:

If you see a wallet on the road, do you:
a) Pick it up and keep the money?
b) Pick it up and give the money to a charity?
c) Pass the wallet over to a policeman?
d) Leave it there?

Like PUH-LEEZE LOR. What kinda dumbasses do you take us for?

But then again, I didn't really attend ANY civics and moral ed lesson throughout sec sch and JC, not becos I'm a moral-less being, but because being from a convent school and later a Catholic JC, and a Catholic [on paper anyway], you get sent to the Cathecism lessons, which are mainly about God, the Bible, and why you should do what He says.

Ok, but the point of this post is not about whether kids should receive religious education or not in schools. The point is that they spend so much time trying to cram all these so-called useful facts to us in school, and hammer us about how important our exams and studies are, they forget just how short a period these things are in our lives.

Consider this: If you learn algebra in school, for eg, ( X + Y ) * 2 = ?, the concept is useful to you as long as you're learning Maths. This could start in Pri 6, all the way up to Uni, if you're taking Maths or Engine or something like that. The life expectancy of a human is about 100 years, [if you believe the Five for Fighting song] and throughout those 100 years, the concept of Mathematics is only useful for about 10-12 of those years. [John Nash-wannabes excluded]

So essentially, the concept of Maths is only useful for about 10% of our entire lives! Why do they continually drill it into our minds that it has the power to shape our entire future? Because it doesn't! The knowledge is only good for about 10-12 years!

Why don't schools teach you more about stuff that's gonna affect you the WHOLE of your lives? Why can't they teach you stuff with more long term value, like:

- Love. How to handle falling in love? How do you know you're in love? What should you do to get the girl/guy of your dreams? What should a love relationship be about? How do you tell a girl that you love her?

- Heartbreak. How much it hurts to have your heart broken. What should you do? How can you handle it? How do you walk away from it?

- Ethics. What exactly is right and wrong? Why is there NO right and wrong? What should we do in grey areas? How come it's ok for the President to bomb and kill innocents, but not other people?

and generally, How To Be A Person? How To Live Life? What To Expect? How Will It All Turn Out?

You know what's the common feature of the 3 points I mentioned above? If you were a secondary school student, about to burst into adulthood, but still hazy about the details, mind pumped full of media trash, and you asked any respectable adult questions about those, most likely, the answer would be:

"You're still young. Don't worry about these, just concentrate on your studies."

Don't worry about these? OF COURSE I have to worry about these! Why should I put aside my 90 years of future happiness for these 10 years of Maths that I have to study in school?? I want to know about Love, Sex, Drugs and Rock N' Roll! [ok, scratch the last one]

The Govt still wondering why we don't have enough babies? There you go, INSUFFICIENT EDUCATION. Teaching kids the biology of things ain't enough, they need to know REAL stuff, like how do you know who is the one you want to marry? What is it like to raise a kid, for real? What do you have to expect? F'God's sakes, these things aren't instinctual in us, like birds you know, we have to be taught! And as long as you keep emphasising the 10 years of Maths over the 90 years of life, this is what you can expect.

Anyway, as an aside, you know the most likely theory why the adults just tell us to concentrate on our studies? The big secret is that THEY DON'T KNOW SHIT! They don't know themselves WHAT the answers are, and to save themselves the embarrassment of admitting this, they just brush our questions aside and tell us to concentrate on our studies. Actually, they totally don't have the answers, because their parents screwed up with them, and so when we try to find the answers ourselves, they get pissed with us for knowing something special that they don't, but which they should.

So hence, the one lifeline of parents:

"Just concentrate on your studies"

Note: The date of my Convo is out! I will doing the hat-n-gown on the 13th July 2004, Tuesday. Not sure of the timing yet, but most likely around 3pm. Venue is University Cultural Centre, NUS. [thank goodness it's after Europe. Phew!] If yr interested to come, [and hence see me in full graduation regalia] drop me a note, k? ;)

Back to the zoo!

Blogger has a new look. The blog looks the same, but the publishing desktop has totally changed. Hm.

Yes, I went to the zoo on Friday 7th May, with Newbie. Have to admit, when you're perpetually living in an urban concrete jungle, it's a great change to go back to nature, so to speak. When we took the bus into Upper Thomson Road, you could feel the change in the air, there was less people, more greenery, and no buildings in sight. Then when you changed to another bus to get into Mandai Road, it's even more deserted. We passed by Pierce Reservoir, and everything was so calm and peaceful, it didn't seem like Singapore at all.

Note to all out there: If you ever want a break from work/home/unemployment, take the trip up there, or check out the reservoirs. Very calming.

When we first arrived, I tot the zoo had undergone a complete revamp at first. The entrance was totally unlike what I had remembered it to be. Then again, the last time I'd gone to the zoo, I was something like half my present size, as I told Newbie, so this explains it. Turns out it was only the front entrance that had been revamped, and all the exhibits stayed mainly in the same place, so we didn't get too lost inside, hahaha.

Or maybe something did change from the last time I went. Everything seemed.... smaller. The amphitheatre with the animal shows, the cages, the enclosures, everything that seemed huge and imposing then, now seemed so much smaller when I looked at it through adult eyes. Even the elephants they used for the elephant rides didn't seemed so tall and grand as it used to be. Sad, when you revisit scenes from your childhood and you realise how much has changed, and how much time has gone by.

Anyway, it was fun, :). We managed to catch some of the animals feedings so we could stand there, watch them being fed and listen to the zookeepers' commentaries on the animals. The jaguar, especially, was a most amazing animal. Its closed cage may seem imprisoning at first, until the zookeeper tells you that it climbs, swims, and runs better than any human, and that it could jump to a height of 5m. Yikes. "Maybe in a worse case scenario, you could swim across the reservoir," Newbie jokes. "Yeah right, you'd drown before you even got halfway there." I retort.

And I managed to feed an arapaima! This is the largest freshwater fish in the world, and they were kept in a moat surrounding a monkey enclosure. The zookeeper first sticks a fish onto a bamboo rod, and then you hold it slightly above the water surface. And you know what? I didn't even get to see the fish, cos when it came, all I saw was this gigantic *SPLASH* and that was it. Bleah. Newbie's reaction was funnier, he said, "I saw this giant jaw coming out of the water, and I went WTF??" and he jumped back even further than I did! Hahaha! Later on,

"C'mon, try it! It's nothing! There's a stick for you!"

"No way."

"Or would you rather try it with your hands instead?"

"No WAY i'm trying it!"

Darn. No fun. :p

He did remark later, after dinner, that I didn't seem to be scared of animals when they came near me. I guess I was just brought up that way? No, that's not the reason either, cos my family doesn't keep animals. Maybe it's cos I was taught to handle them, to understand their thinking, and that's why I don't cringe and scream when a butterfly flies too near to my hair, like one Jap girl did at a walk-through exhibit. Sheesh. *Rolls eyes at ceiling* When you realise that they're much more afraid of you than you are of them... well, there ain't much to be afraid of I guess. Of course it also helps that most of the large, carnivorous or poisonous animals are either separated from us by a large moat, or by secure enclosures. Everything else was ok. :p

So that's my day at the zoo. Will be going to the Birdpark next, cos we bought saver tickets. :p so watch out for that one!

Interestingly a dragonfly landed on my shoulder on that day as well, a small, meek little thing that I didn't notice for a while, till he came into sight. I didn't wanna smack it, so I'm carrying it around for a while. See what happens next lah. ;)

Macy gray, Exams, Convo and Sat Nites Out

So.... what's a cantor? I don't really know either but I'm guessing it involves singing.... :p which I can't do much of these days, 'cos my old Macy Gray cough has come back again. The same old phlegm in the throat that enabled me to successfully imitate her rough, grating voice to a T. Most of it has cleared by now, so I can still speak and sing somewhat normally, though subject to sudden coughing attacks at times. Lao Mao Ping by now lah, so I just drink tons of water and honey nowadays. Can't even be bothered to go to the doc's anymore.

The irony about it is that fried food for some reason makes it better. I donno why, but when I eat soupy stuff and hot liquids that's supposed to help me, I still end up coughing loads. But when I eat a BK meal, after downing the whole cup of ice lemon tea, I feel better, and my throat feels slightly cleared. Weird......

Anyway, the coughing mostly affects me when I'm teaching, cos when I start talking for too long, *HACK HACK HACK* Not only that, but all my kids are entering into Mid-Year Mode, which sort of is like a performance appraisal for me once their results come out.

"Miss Tan... I see X has improved by 5 marks in his English... how come only like that?"

"Er, um, er...."

"And his Maths marks stayed the same. Hmmm..."

*Squirms uneasily*

"Hmmm.... We'll call you after June if we still want you."

Ok, so thank goodness the above conversation hasn't taken place yet with any of my students, though I have to keep in mind the possibility that I may lose a few students ( if not all ) after I come back from Europe. The funny thing is that now as soon as I get bad feelings about a student, I lose that student after the one-month trial period. I have no idea whether my instincts are that strong, or is the power of suggestion really that powerful. Hm.

Most of my kids are doing ok, but others....... I really gotta pray. This one kid, I was supposed to be teaching him P6 Eng and Math, and suddenly the mom is asking me to tutor him in Sci as well?? Bad thing about this job is that there's no contract. "Mrs Yeoh, it is clearly stated in my employment contract that I am to tutor your son in the following subjects for the price of $XXX and if you wish to add another subject you have to raise my rate by the following: [$XXX * ( X + Y/2 )]/ ( XY ) and as you can see, after I have done all the calculations, you should be paying me an extra $XXXX for 3 subjects."

Bleah. I wish. Anyway, some kids I just gotta hope and see lor. I don't think you should except miracles from me if I've only taught your son for about 2 months before his exams anyway. If I was that good, you won't be paying me that little already. I just hope those parents understand that and keep me around after the exams and after I come back. Otherwise I'd be totally jobless after my holiday. Argh!

Sigh. Never thought I'd be experiencing exam stress again after graduating from NUS.

Oh, and incidentally my convo is supposed to take place the same week I come back from Europe. Holy cow. I hope I make it back in time. After all the shit I went through NUS, I may as well have the fun of going for convo, enjoying the free snack buffet, and wearing my jeans and sandals underneath my convo gown to collect my degree. Hee. Sorely tempted to do the last option, if not for potential shame on family name.

Japanese also starts again this Sat, after a one week break. Ii-desu-ne! Nuahing for 2 saturday nites at home is enough for me. Flipping through the remote last Sat with my mom, I realised just how deadly boring saturday nite tv was.

Mom: "Forget it lah! There's nothing on TV on Sat nite one!"
Me: "Wait! Let me check Central! Maybe there's something!"
Mom: "Central the whole nite is Indian movies lah!"
Me: "The whole night?? Indian workers don't go out on Sat nite meh??"
Mom: "They don't wat! That's why!"

So my mom ended up watching some docu on CNA about bittergourds' healing properties, [bleah] and I escaped to my room to lose myself in a good book. This sat, Yenn, DEFINITELY have to go out somewhere! Even if we end up nuahing at Esplanade again!

And LINKIN PARK is coming to Singapore on the 22nd of June, when I'M IN FREAKIN' EUROPE!!! ARGH!!!!! LINKIN PARK!!!! *Wheeze wheeze hack cough POOI!* why why WHY!!!!!

Oooo, long entry up ahead.

Slayer, the -1 tracks are of some pretty common pop songs, like Unchained Melody by Gareth Gates, and hey hey, This is the Night, by Clay, and Beautiful by Christina Aguilera. It's called Sing Ballads, and i think it's being released in conjunction with the upcoming Singapore Idol.

Krystal, -1 tracks are essentially karaoke tracks. They're the accompanying music to the song, but with the voice of the singer missing.

From The Food Quiz. Italics are obviously my comments.

My Results
You are friendly and easygoing. Why gee! Thanks! People feel comfortable around you so it is not a surprise that many friends surround you.Looks around wildly. Where?? Where?? just kidding guys. :p You have high self-esteem and will not let anyone get you down.Er, yea, I stomp on like, the faces of those who oppose me.

You're very careful and circumspect in all matters but you won't face any problems until they actually happen. Because by then, they're staring you in the face so hard you have no choice but to slap them back Also you're a kind and sensitive person.Awwww....

You think positively about the people around you and are never prejudiced. Yea! You're all cool! This means others see you as a kind and gentle person..Awwww....again They enjoy listening to what you have to say because they respect you.You do?

You are logical, smart and inventive. Hee... oh stop it...Sometimes you are too cold and selfish.Man, you really stopped it

Luther

So I watched this movie with newbie on Friday night. It's basically about Martin Luther, the guy who broke away from the Catholic church in the mid 1500s [i'm bad with dates. sorry.] to start the Protestant movement.

So what's the difference between Protestants and Catholics? For one thing, Catholics regard the Pope as their spiritual leader, the Great Shepherd of All Them Sheep, while Luther's Protestant movement was a breakaway movement from the leadership of the Vatican at the time. Why was that? Well, according to the movie, the Vatican was.... well, one hell of a shithole at that period of time. See the scenes where peddlers hawk statues and medals of saints in the streets, the predecessor to the modern day religious salesman. See the 'indulgences' being sold.

What are indulgences? Well, at that time, you paid the Church some money, and they give you a piece of paper, which states that the Bearer of this Certificate wilt have access into Heaven upon death, bypassing Purgatory, or spend 500 less days in Purgatory or something like that. It's sort of like a Monopoly card that says go straight to the Go square, and collect $200 on the way. In the movie, that was one of the Church's main sources of revenue, the selling of these little Certificates of Faith.

What got Luther into trouble with the Vatican at the time was that he specifically spoke out against the selling of indulgences, and saintly relics. [examples of saintly relics: bones of the Apostles, a hair from St Peter's head, a fingernail of Mary etc etc...] Naturally Pope Leo at the time [did i get the name right? I hope I did] got irritated, 'cos he wanted to build his spanking new St Peter's Basilica and there was this irritating little priest helping to reduce his main source of revenue. What a pest. Please excommunicate him now and let's get on with the Basilica.

[Sidenote: The St Peter's Basilica still stands today, over what is believed to be the actual remains of St Peter himself. However, because of that building, the Vatican was officially made bankrupt.]

But then again, the Holy Father Pope Leo wasn't exactly the paradigm of faith. Hello, what pope has gold gilded bird cages? The Vatican was a cesspit of corruption and politics, and this spread to the area outside. In the movie, Luther remarks that there are whores specially for the priests. Ironic considering that Jesus originally threw the moneylenders out of the temple.

The movie shows how Luther was disgusted by all this corruption, and wrote his books, deriding the selling of indulgences and saintly relics. This got him into serious shit with the Vatican and he was excommunicated. [one of the ironies of the film is that later on, he marries Catherine Dubray, a runaway nun. Excommunicated priest and runaway nun. Hm.] However, his popularity was immense, and spread as a holy fire throughout Europe at the time. At the height of the Reformation, practically the whole of Europe turned Protestant, with the exception of France and Italy. Catholics everywhere became persecuted and hunted down. Churches were looted and their stained glass windows destroyed. [the Protestants believed they were destroying graven images of Christ]

Which is sad and ironic, because at heart, Luther is shown to be a theologian, a scholar at heart, and a reluctant warrior of faith. Indeed, he stands before a raving mob in one scene, and cries out that "This is NOT what I taught!" With the strength of his words, he manages to stay the mob and prevent them from destroying the church.

Overall, a rather interesting movie. The story of Luther is well told and engaging. Unlike the Passion, the director here has chosen good old fashioned storytelling techniques, which engages the crowd, rather than alienate it.

Aside, there seems to be a trend of historical and religious films these days. Before the Passion there was the Gospel of John, then now Luther, and Troy opens next week here too. Gee, what's up?

Also, I just remembered a little story I read in an email before:

The Dragonfly on the Shoulder

Once upon a time, there was a man and a woman and they loved each other very much. They had met as friends, and after a long and happy friendship, they advanced to the relationship stage. Everyone remarked how happy and compatible they were, and it was no surprise when they eventually got married.

What was a big surprise, however, was that a few months after they'd gotten married, they found out that the man had cancer. It was a particularly vicious cancer, and the man soon passed away, leaving his heartbroken wife behind.

In Heaven, the man pined after his wife, and he asked God, "Is there a way for me to see her again?"

God replied, "When she dies, and comes to Heaven, then you will see her again."

"I can't wait that long. Please let me go down to Earth and see her."

God was silent a while. "I cannot let you go down as a human, because you have already died. If I let you down there, it will be as some other animal."

The man paused when he heard this.

"However," God continued, "If you can make her recognise you, and fall in love with you again, I will turn you back into a human, so that you may enjoy the rest of your lives together."

The man was overjoyed, because now he had a chance to be with his love once again. Thus, of all the animals in the world, he went back as a dragonfly. This was because he remembered telling his lady love that if he ever died before her, he would come back as a dragonfly and sit on her shoulder. He was thus sure that in this form, she would recognise who he was and they would be together once again.

[I'm taking some creative liberty here, because my memory of the story's patchy. Bear with me guys.]

So he went back as a dragonfly, and he swooped around, looking for his love. To his joy, he found her sitting in the park where they used to sit while courting, and next to her was the doctor who had treated him. He flew near her, eagerly trying to get her attention, but she didn't seem to realise he was there. Indeed, he even got swiped at a few times!

Maybe she can't see that it's a dragonfly, he thought, I should try letting her see me. So he flew to where she could see him.

He flew near enough to finally hear the conversation between her and the doctor.

"He's been dead so long. You have to accept that he's never coming back."

"I know, but, it feels like I'm betraying him this way."

"He would have wanted you to be happy too, and I... I would make you happy. You know that."

"Yes, I..do."

As their faces drew closer, the poor little dragonfly was aghast. He tried flying around their faces, but they were ignorant to the world outside of themselves. Finally, as they kissed, the little dragonfly felt his heart break. He even managed to perch himself on her shoulder, but they were too otherwise engaged to notice him there. He sat on her shoulder, utterly miserable.

"I'm sorry about this." came the gentle voice of God.

"I understand. And in a way, the doctor was right. I would have wanted her to be happy. I just wish..."

"What?"

"I just wished it could have been with me, that's all."

"Do you want to come back to Heaven, as a man again?"

"I think... no. Please. Let me be a dragonfly the rest of my life. I cannot go through the same pain I went through as a man. Let me be a dragonfly here on Earth."

"As you wish."

So what is the moral of the story? It asks us to see if there are any dragonflies on our shoulders? Is there someone there who cares for us, but have never been noticed? Please be gentle to the little dragonfly, and take a care not to blindly swat him.

Hope you guys liked the story. :)

a bunch of jiapalang

or rather, a bunch of misc stuff.

note to Slayer: Auditions for Singapore Idol are in Jun, u keen? :) No sight of your MOAM yet, and the DVDs you asked for, but they're released a compilation of pop songs with -1 tracks, for the budding Idol-wannabe. Can check it out when you're back in Spore. J8's also going through major renovation, as in addition of more shopping floors, so can expect more shops when you get back.

firstly, a link to some stunning sidewalk art. I received these pix in an email from Sylveracyd, and Slayer and they're really good! [slayer: Why you fwded me an email which Sylver already sent to me is beyond me] Taken from the right angle, the pictures look amazingly lifelike. [plus the laptop one looks like my laptop. :p]

Sidewalk art

secondly, this was taken in the room of one of my P4 tuit kid's:



Slayer, meet one of Singapore's youngest Claymates :p

thirdly, guess what?

A urinal in the ladies' toilet. Who'd've thunk? And no, I wasn't crazy enough to sneak into the men's toilets. Can anyone guess what this urinal is for?

Now the longer entries....

Kill Bill......Finally

And with Vol 2 comes a sense of closure, finally, on the Kill Bill movies. Caught this movie on a Thurs, cos kena play out by a friend of mine. Supposed to watch with me and then end up going with other people. Grrrr......

So what's different about this from Vol. 1? Well, more on the stories behind the characters, and less of the... cheesy blood splattering. Hee. At this point of time the Bride has only 2 people left to kill, so there is the bitchfight between her and Elle Driver [Darryl Hannah] and then Bill. Frankly the fight between her and Bill is a bit disappointing, compared to the Elle one. They exchange a few blows, she presses some of the vital points on his system, and he falls down dead. Hm.

In this movie, more emphasis is placed on the characters, and finally we understand a bit more of the character of the Bride, her relationship with Bill, and all the other emotional stuff that was lacking in the first movie. Kinda balances out the 2 movies in a way I guess.

If you knew a bit of what went on in the first movie, you would be able to catch what's going on in this one, so even if you haven't watched Vol. 1, you should be able to follow the action. Just that you'll see less blood and action in this one. :p Watch out for the funny bits, like when with Pai Mei [Gordon Liu] suddenly talks in Cantonese and calls the Bride an American dog or something to that effect.

Spare the Rod...

A rejoinder to all those who have ever asked me why I never signed up with NIE to become a teacher. [merlin, are you seeing this? :p]

Preserve the dignity of teachers

This pretty much ties in with the scandal over the resigning of the Nan Chiau principal. Seriously, I don't see why on earth he has to resign over a little thing like this, and I don't see what's the big fuss about him hitting that girl. Goodness sake, it was a soft cover book lor. There's no lasting physical damage to the girl, apart from her dignity, and a repeat offender like the girl sometimes is just asking for it sooner or later.

Why do some parents want to pamper their kids to such an extent? Is it guilt, for not spending enough time with them? Is it over-protectiveness? A lack of faith in the resilience of children? Did the complainant in the Nan Chiau case think that whacking the girl with a book would inflict untold irreversible damage on the girl's psyche, and is in fact complaining because of the future psychiatric costs the family would have to foot for her future therapy?

Come on lah. Some of these kids are hardier than some adults. Last time when blading at Bishan Park with Quet and my dad, we saw a bunch of kids chasing each other on blades, [as naturally kids would do] and crashing into one another several times. Sooner or later, there was a multiple pile up on the skating area, where a few kids were piled up on top of one another and other kids decided to join in the piling by crashing into the pile. Then what did they all do after that? Get up, dust themselves off, and continue laughing and chasing each other, gleefully ignoring their parents' scoldings.

If some buffalo like my dad crashed into another adult like that, I'd probably start worrying about hip fractures.

Could that be the cause of overprotectiveness? Strangely enough, adults are in some ways physically weaker and less resilient than children, because adults' bones have stopped growing, and the body systems have started to slow down. Because we as adults grow weaker, we tend to be more careful when we walk [or blade] around. So then this tendency for safety extends to our kids, although we're the ones that need more protection!

How strange parents are huh? They want kids to experience life, but only after putting on knee, elbow, wrist guards, chest guards, helmuts and all the other chiapalang. By the time we deem our kids ready to go, they can hardly waddle out the door after all that weight. This is what we want to teach our kids? No wonder we're having problems with creative thinking and all that. We don't allow our kids to explore, we don't allow them to learn life's lessons, we don't allow them to live. And we push them to get paper after paper, thinking that that's the only guarantee of success for our kids.

When can we say that we have truly lived?

Weird Eggs, No Ham

Krystal thou hast only one task for thy quest... To bring home safely a bottle of Absolut Vanilla... Do not fret over the gin... I drink too much anyway...

Sad to say, the next major drama event in my life was my breakfast. :p I had this brainwave to make a pirated deli-potato, since my mom had baked potatoes in the fridge, and there were eggs and mayo at home. I started out by plopping the eggs in boiling water and waiting for them to, well, boil.

Now the last time I tried to make soft-boiled eggs, I actually left them too long in the water, so in the end they became hard-boiled eggs, much to my chagrin. This time, however, I left them too short a time a time in the water, so my intended hard-boiled eggs turned out to be perfect soft-boiled eggs. Bleah. Thank goodness I only cracked one at the time, so I just plopped the other one back into the water and turned on the heat to sauna-fy that bugger.

Who knows, suddenly there was a "POOIIIFFF!" from the kettle [i swear, it reallly did make that sound] and the kettle regurgitated some boiling water onto my stove. "Oh shit, oh shit" as I go over to the kettle, and open to see if some dead chick had hatched from my egg or something. [hey, you never know one day] My egg seemed to be fine, though, but there were pieces of cooked egg swirling around the water, so I quickly took it out, cracked it, and well... it was some strange hybrid between a hard and a soft boiled egg. My poor mutant scrambled egg. I should have never brought you into this world.

When you're hungry, you don't care anyway. So I had a plate of soft boiled, with soy sauce and pepper, bread, 2 baked potatoes and egg mayo for breakfast. What do I do? I heck care with the whole thing, throw everything into one plate, mix it all up and eat it as it is. My potato-egg-salad with soy sauce and pepper. Jamie Oliver eat your heart out, or rather puke your lungs out.

As some of you know, I have one of the strangest eating habits in the world.

Ok, before you guys all puke your lungs out... here's some pix...


Sunset walking home from mrt.


I really like this one, it's a gecko that was hanging on these grilles they've put up along the MRT tracks. This little bugger managed to climb way up high.

And finally,
Nocturne was done long time ago, when I was alone on a Sat night and wondering around town. Hope you guys like the pix. The one of Wheelock at the end is my fave.

Beli beli good, Krystal shalt get me a bottle of Absolut Vanilla and Quet shalt hand over custody of a bottle of gin to me. I shalt be a beli, beli, happy drunk.

Me no nothing to blog now, side from recent bout of fever/flu/god-only-knows-wat-germ-hit-me and cramps on Sunday, resulting in cancellation of one tuition class. Thankfully me managed to survive, after much, much sleep and cups of hot tea. Me not sorry to cancel tuition class because that one Mother scares me. That Mother damn damn hostile on phone. Talk like going to scold me for something, anything. Don't like talking to that Mother. Strangely Daughter don't really need tuition. Has 60, 70 marks for past exams. Typical kiasu mum. Easy money if not that Mother seem so grumpy round me.

In end me change to today. Now me have 4 students to gao ding in one day. Me would stand in middle of Bishan junction and wait for car to impose sudden death, if not for fact that me want to fly to Europe soon. Thought of holiday keeping me alive and earning money.

Me no feel like blogging much now. Me will wait for next momentous occassion to happen in me's life before me write it down. Hopefully, this would happen before me is 90 and dying. Me life not beli exciting right now. Me will see you guys later.