Bang. Bang. Bang.

One of my frens [you know who you are] said that I shared some traits with her ex, and put it down to us both being Pisceans. I said thank goodness I was born on a cusp, or you'd've been driven mad by me long ago, and I would have been horribly, horribly crushed by you.

Now I think I share another trait with that ex. My mind goes wild when people don't respond to my SMSes and I start to come up with various theories on why they don't, sometimes ignoring the most simplest solution.

What to do? Pisceans belong to the realm of fantasy. If you've seen me stone out, or gaze out into space when you're talking to me, you know what I'm talking about. We live with one foot in reality and the other in fantasy, and can happily hop from one side to the other.

This time I think I spent too much time in fantasy, and when I frantically tried to hop back, I crashed into the boulder of reality.

I need a wall. One nice, solid, plain wall. For me to bang my head against. Bang. Bang. Bang.

Then again, here's a reason why I should be happy to be single.

The following scene takes place near a bus stop. A guy and girl stand facing each other. The guy is waving his arms wildly, his posture obviously aggressive towards the girl. He speaks to her, not loudly, but with his anger and frustration clear, even though you don't hear the words he's speaking. The girl stands with her arms crossed, and head turned away from him. She's not interested in hearing what he has to say, and it makes him all the more frustrated.

Later on, they sit down on a seat. Are they tired of standing and arguing? Well, one but not the other. Even while they are sitting down, the same show takes place. The guy is stabbing his finger in the air in front of the girl, as if to emphasize his point. His whole body is turned towards her, but hers is not. Her legs are crossed away from him, her eyes are on the road, and her hands are clenched on the edge of the seat, the only sign of anger she reveals through her cool poise. She only turns to him when she wants to return his riposte, and then she would turn away from him again.

Finally she decides she has heard enough. She turns her back to him, her body moving to face the road. He tries to take her hand, but she snatches it back with a hiss and quick reflexes. It is as if some dirty creature had just tried to touch her. Rebuffed, he can only sit there in stony silence.

At last she shows a real sign of emotion. She bends down and puts her hands on her head, a sign of surrender. What is she surrendering to? Has she decided to surrender to her emotions, and let loose her tears, but is still unwilling to allow him to view this sign of her fraility? Or has she decided to surrender this relationship to its untimely end, and let it die?

I will never know. My bus comes and I leave them alone. As I do, other couples walk past them, hand-in-hand in seeming mocking sympathy, for what they may have just lost forever.

Sad? The sad part I think is that this actually happened tonight while I was in town waiting for my bus. For a moment during the argument, I thought I could hear their quarrelling through the music in my earphones. I hope that was some other sound I heard.

Wonder what happened to them. Unrealistic expectations? Most people are always saying people our age have unrealistic expectations, even other people our age. Maybe that's what happened to them. They went into a relationship with ideas of what it should be, and when those ideas didn't gel, they broke apart. The couple is left, sitting apart in stony silence, and you can almost see the crack in the air between them.

Hai... Zannen desu ne......