Rant. None of my most recent picture attempts turned out well, reason being my hand was too shaky, and hence all came out looking like... a short-sighted person's vision of the world without specs. [Apologies to myopic frens] Damn damn damn. A night of shots wasted.

Today also started out as a terrible day. Went down to Braddell to sign up for a stall for a flea market, and on the way out, it rained. I hate rain. Everything becomes ickily wet and you're forced to walk under shelter, and wait under blocks until the rain is over and you can walk in the open space again.

And even though the rain is over, the humidity gets cranked up several notches. You can feel the bouts of warm, moist air literally floating off the pavement, like some weird outdoor sauna. The moisture sticks to you like an outer film on your skin, and you get headaches from all the steam. Damn damn damn.

Then you run into the library for a reprieve, and the aircon makes you feel as if you just stepped straight from a tropical jungle climate into a dreary wintry one. Little men start taking hammers to your delicate brain. And of all things, the library you went to doesn't have the books you went there to look for in the first place, despite you searching the shelves frantically.

And while you're there, familiar cramps tell you that a monthly visitor is about to make her presence known, even though your calendar told you that morning that she's not due for about half a week more. Despite the scheduling differences, your visitor stamps her feet in annoyance, insisting that she's right, and dammit she's gonna come and go as she likes. You're forced to cater to her wishes, and cancel a student in the afternoon so as to accomodate her, bloody bitch that she is.

Crackers. This day stunk. So now, change subject:

Time of the Ghost

Once again, the Gates of Hell have been thrown open, and its denizens let loose on an unsuspecting public.

Well, not exactly unsuspecting. From the numerous joss sticks stuck on the ground these few days, and the offerings of food left over the place, you can see that there are a number of people who have been expecting the arrival of these spectral visitors.

Joss sticks stuck lazily into the grass, their flames lighting up the pavement beside them. Men and women throwing sheafs of joss paper into bins, the flames leaping up hungrily for their food, the people standing around the bins, their actions robot-like, as they take one piece of joss paper after the other. Little pieces of black ash floating hazily in the air. The perpetual smell of incense.

The Seventh Month is upon us.

And besides this, the smell of the incense also evokes a sense of nostalgia in me.

Grandmother kneeling in the balcony, facing the sun early in the morning. A pair of joss sticks in her hand, she shakes them with short, quick movements, murmuring prayers for her family under her breath. The scent of the joss sticks, blown by the wind, enters and fills the living room. From then on, the scent of joss will always remind me of Grandmother.

On a lighter note, though, the Seventh Month is also when I start playing my strange games of hopscotch around the void decks. This is all thanks to the first volume of True Singapore Ghost Stories, which I read at the highly impressionable and imaginative age of 8. [or around there, anyway]

In that volume was a story about a man, who had stepped on some ashes from a burnt pile of joss paper. Now this was bad, because according to the story, the ashes were supposed to show errant spirits the way to Heaven and eternal bliss and all. And when the man stepped on the ashes, he apparently stopped the spirit from its rightful spiritual path towards eternity.

So he was stuck with this justifiably-pissed off spirit, always following him, because it had nowhere else to go. And he had this unshakeable feeling that something was always following him, until one day he spun around and looked into a pair of very ghostly and upset eyes.

He went to a medium, and all was sorted out. The medium persuaded the spirit to better pastures, and the man went on with his life.

Now, I'm a chicken. And I'm imaginative. [See previous post on exorcist] And when I was in primary school, I was an even bigger Imaginative Chicken. And this story freaked the livin' shit outta me, even till this day.

So from then till now, everytime I see a bunch of ashes on the floor, I take care not to step on them, to avoid being hooked onto some spirit. If the entire void deck has been scattered with these ashes, I tip toe gingerly, murmuring apologies to any passing spirit under my breath, hoping that they'll accept them and leave me to my peaceful mortal existence.

So if you're a innocent bystander, you'll see this big buffalo of a gal, hopping away in the empty void deck, all the while, muttering, "sorry, sorry, so sorry, didn't mean that, sorry sorry, duo jeh, duo jeh, excuse me, sorry ah, bu xiao xing" and so on, all the while with her eyes to the floor, and her long fringe covering half her face, Sadako-like.

Gee, after writing that, I'm surprised no one's ever run away in fear from me before.

by the way, I forgot to add... I've decided to go to Thailand around either last week of Nov, or 1st week of Dec, and I need travel buddies! The itinerary is roughly Chiangmai, then Bangkok, maybe Phuket/Krabi/Hua Hin/Some beach during the last 2 days, and back to Singapore. I'm also hoping to keep the cost to $600.

Anyone wanna go? Anyone?

Oh, and as a testament to how small this world is? It turns out that Billy Soh knows Benjamin T and his GF from Bizad. Can you believe it??

Last night went with Necroz to watch an adaptation of 2 of Edgar Allan Poe's stories at the Substation, namely The Tell-Tale Heart and The Masque of the Red Death.

And believe it, the adaptation was carried out by 1 man. With no sound.

Well, they call it a 'visual narrative', and it's something like mime. The man basically acts out the movements and the different characters, without any dialogue. Each character has his own quirks, so for example, if he's standing upright, it's A. If he hunches suddenly, and squeezes one eye shut, it's B. All the actions of the story were mimed by him, with lighting adding to the atmosphere.

And this guy is bloody good. Even with no sound to tell you what's happening, no backdrop to indicate location, you can still follow the story pretty well. Necroz wasn't too familiar with the stories, [I gave her a quick summary about 5 mins before the show started] but she was still able to catch what was going on. Well, most of the time. Some actions just left us wondering..."Huh?"

Amazing the things some people can do for a living.

Also watched the fantastic Facing Windows on VCD just this morning. Hearing that violin strain again... in a passionate crescendo... Sigh... To live for the moment, to catch the opportunity, else lose it forever.

To not be content to merely live, but to demand for a better life.

Replies to my tags:

Krystal: Er, I donno when I'm flying off again somewhere, ( though I always hope it's the next day ) but it'll prob be around late Nov/Early Dec? Won't be as long as the Europe trip though. This something I might enjoy... Does it have an alcoholic content? Hahaha... Which leads onto...

Slayer: No, I didn't drink anything stronger than a Tiramisu latte on ND itself. The rant was pretty much what I felt about Singapore and Singaporeans all along. Just that this time the occassion was ripe for it.

Candle: I was gonna remind about that course this Sunday. :D Cya then! You wanna meet for lunch before that or just go for the class?

But I did go for one heck of a spending spree on ND though. Bought VCDs for Jeux D'Enfants, [love that show!] and Falling Windows. Then went to a pirated CD shop 2 doors down and bought a CD with Photoshop, Illustrator CS and Dreamweaver, Flash and Fireworks MX!!! Yee-hah! I feel the geek in me rejoice!

Though the Photoshop program required a password of some kind, and I apparently installed a 30 trial version... bloody hell... then again, getting Dreamweaver and Flash for $10 is more than worth it. Long live the pirates.

Last night I also finished reading the DaVinci Code. Whoa. Whoa whoa whoa. If you haven't read the book already, go and read it ALREADY! It's bloody GOOD! Especially if you're a Christian, 'cos the claims in that book concerning the Church... well, the underlying idea seems to be that they're a bunch of "lyin' bastards".

[And I don't use that term lightly. There's a reason why I used it. Go read the book and find out.]

But the disturbing thing is that there are tons of historical research surfacing to defend the ideas that Dan Brown has presented in this book. While some are well-known already, [the tendency of the Church at that time to incorporate pagan images and rituals into Christianity, the supposed birthday of Christ being one] others.... if true, will blow the minds of Christians everywhere. It's that explosive, or so I think.

It's not exactly a stunning work of literature, but the action carries well from page to page, and the ciphers and riddles will be enuff to keep you hooked. Please. Read it already.

Today: Movie marathon of sorts. Discovered father had bought pirated DVD for Spiderman2 while in Johor, and so finally caught this movie. [thank goodness I didn't catch it in the cinemas yet] The show's ok lah, kinda predictable [from watching the trailer] so nothing much new, or engaging.

Then Jeux D'Enfants, for the 2nd time. Loving it all over again, like the French version of RnJ.

Then Goodbye Lenin, which Jubilee finally managed to lend me. This one is certainly intriguing. Alexander's mother falls into a coma just months before East Berlin unites with West Berlin. The doctor warns him that if she suffers another shock, she will certainly die, so Alexander does all he can to reconstruct a Communist Berlin in his little flat, while outside, modernity and capitalism marches on the streets. The methods which he employs are outrageous, including getting a fren to dress up as a TV newscaster to fake news programs to show to his mother.

Eventually, though, his mother does wander out, and he has to 'broadcast' even more sensational news to explain the sweeping social changes outside. The interesting part is that the Socialist Berlin that he uses in his news increasingly become the Socialist Berlin he might have wished for. He begins to broadcast his former hopes and dreams for the former Socialist government, against the bleak backdrop of the modern capitalist state they are in. It is like the voice of the grumpy old man, who is unable to catch up with the present, and can only ramble about, grumbling about the good old days.

Watching it now... I wonder, why didn't I catch it before? Sigh...

*for those wondering, I joined this website, www.wholivesnearyou.com and Billy Soh found me on that website.

We are Singapore, We are Singapore...

In line with the patriotic spirit of the weekend, Happy National Day and Fireworks Viewing to all, with the exception of Yenn and Candle who are waaay too far away to catch them fireworks.

Is that the point of the entire parade? To get a goodie bag and catch the fireworks at the end? Hee...

So what did I do on ND? Nothing too patriotic, other than
1) Wearing a red top
2) Contributing to the economy by shopping with Necroz
3) Listening to Singapore Idol on my handphone on the way home

In fact, if you get the gist of the reports going around on the newspapers, people like me count at the foremost of Lee Hsien Loong's Things To Fix About Singapore List. I'm politically apathetic, cynical and pretty much don' give a damn, as long as I get my prata breakfast in the morning. [k that might be stretching it even for me...] Plus the fact that I'm practically non-existent on the IRAS' and CPF records. [cue to scene of Taxman tearing his hair out, wondering how to get at my money]

But I think the more worrisome part [for the gahmen at least] is the lack of concern of today's Singaporeans in Singapore politics. For most of my generation, we plain don' give a damn, and why should we?

We're conditioned from birth to Respect Your Elders Because They Know Better and Don't Argue With Me Young Man. So fine, you think you're so great, don't bother asking us for help. Hey, what do we know?

We look around and all we see are restrictions on our every movement. Don''t Smoke. Don't Litter. Don't Chew Gum or We'll Spank You. Don't Watch Sex At The City, it's Dirty. Remember all those 'Singapore is a Fine city' T-shirts?

Lastly, why do we wanna take over this country? We'd have to wear something akin to the RI and SJI uniforms all day, sit in boring old Parliament listening to boring old men talk. We'd have to listen to other bratty folks like us complain about how little we're doing for them, whine about how little opportunity they have to make it big, and how much we should be doing in order to make their lives happier.

Position available: Prime Minister of small island state. Tropical climate, good weather, may have to deal extensively with locals.

Hai......... As much as I love Singapore, there are stuff that I would like to see changed. It's like how you hate your room, you wish you could paint it a different colour, you wish it was better, but when your family decides to move.......

I want people to be more open-minded and tolerant of differences. I don't wanna hear about any more stories where Singaporeans complain about cleanliness, hygiene standards, food and overall attitude of people in other countries. I don't wanna see fellow Singaporeans judge other cultures by their own country's standards. Good god, people, the reason why you're in another country is to see something different. If you think Singapore has better toilets, then stay in Singapore and use her toilets, instead of going all the way around the globe.

I want more acceptance of diversity. People in Singapore are so hung up on the herd instinct, it's scary. We're on our way to devoluting to the level of cows. I see this sometimes when adults ask me what I do for a living. "Tuition teacher? What about CPF?" Hallo?? What's the deal with CPF?? Let's get it clear, CPF is not a big cash angpow to you from the gahmen when you retire. CPF is a form of mandatory saving. It's Your Freakin' Money. And if I wanted to have some akin to a CPF account, all I have to do is to open an account with POSB and automatically transfer 20% of my savings to it every month.

Don't talk about interest rates btw. You'd probably get better returns investing in almost anything but CPF.

But my point about herd instinct... We tend to follow each other so much, that we don't know how to break away from the group, and think, "Gee, I don't think it's a great idea to swim through that quicksand pit." Some people don't know how to accept other ways of life. Once you tell them you're doing something different, they frown and tell you to get a job like everyone else. Argh!!! Hallo??? There are about a MILLION people out there who live in cities, don't have CPF, don't have cushy jobs in MNCs, and THEY DO JUST FINE. Gimme a chance before you start condemning me to poverty already!

And stop complaining already! Everything that you don't like being done in Singapore, you complain to the Forum and the style of it is always the same. "I don't like XXXXX and think that the government should ban XXXXX. This would make Singapore a better society." You could insert anything into XXXXX and customise it to your own style. Example:

"I don't like kids playing in the void deck in the afternoon. I think the government should ban kids from playing in the void deck in the afternoon. This would make Singapore a better society."

"I don't like pokemon. The government should ban pokemon. This would make Singapore a better society."

Read through the Forum pages and you're bound to see at least a letter, where someone says that the Government should take steps to blah blah blah and ban blah blah and stop blah from blah blah.

People, please hor. People like you want restrictions on everything under the sun, and then when the restrictions are put in place, you complain that we're not a vibrant city, that we have no freedom.

OF COURSE WE HAVE NO FREEDOM. YOU BLOODY WELL TOOK IT AWAY FROM US WITH ALL YOUR STUPID COMPLAINING. Next time you don't like something, settle it yourself instead of running to the gahmen-papa, sniffing your noses, rubbing your eyes, and wailing. If gahmen-papa can't ( or won't ) do anything, deal with it yourselves! You have a brain, that's supposed to separate you from the rest of the jungle-traipsing apes you know. USE IT FOR A CHANGE.

Stupid, narrow-minded complainers.

But as a balance, there are some things I'm eternally grateful about in Singapore:

Safety. To be able to walk home from the MRT past midnight and not be robbed/mugged/raped/kidnapped/murdered. [the police center nearby might serve as a good deterrent]

An easily understandable subway system. Have you seen the map of the Tube??

The house I live in, the education I've been given, and all other state-subsidised products and services.

A stable government, and a stable environment, with a lack of strikes, bombings, terrorist attacks [we're too small for them to bother] and racist attacks.

And the little things. Prata and teh ping breakfasts. Night Riders that go right into my estate. Trains that work. Short travelling times. Junction 8.

And all my friends and family of course, who will always be there to support me, in good times and bad, in times of sanity, and in times of neuroses. =)

Count on me, Singapore.

To Candle: Yes, I think it's probably that time of the month again... I noticed the regularity of my neuroses too. I think the next time it comes around, I should just go eat cake at Coffee Bean or something... :p Though if it works, I'll probably end up eating cake there like, every month. Eek.

To Slayer: Nah, I don't want to do something with/2/against him, as you described. Then again, my neuroses has passed, so naturally I'm back to my stable mood. Haha... Right now it'll just be nice to sit down over a cup of coffee and have a chat. [Hey, you reading this? ;)] And yea, I read your blog and noticed that. You going through a hormonal phase like me? ;)

Oh, horror, horror

On MSN Today, Cinema's Scariest Scenes. I know I'm a total coward, but I couldn't help but check this out.

Watching the clips on the Internet though kinda takes away some of the horror of the films. It's hard to get freaked out when the Psycho clip keeps hanging and pausing while Linda Blair's in mid-scream. And also plus the fact that it ain't the whole movie but a few minutes of the scariest scene... *shrugs* Not much to get freaked out on.

The freakiest clip, though, in my opinion is the Exorcist one. It's not quite so much what is going on in the clip, but what you suddenly see while watching the clip, a demonic face that suddenly pops out for a second and makes you go, "What the hell...?" Ok, maybe that's the wrong expression for this...

I remember one WuLinDaHui when the IJGals came over to my house and decided to watch The Exorcist. Nervous at first, I decided to watch it since well, everyone was doing so [with the exception of the Slayer intent on using the Internet] and it's not that easy to get freaked out while you're in a group, right?

Wrong. Cue to one of the opening scenes, when the female lead [or was it the priest?] was walking around in a kitchen. Everything's normal, till I see a demonic face appear on one of the white kitchen cabinets.

"What the hell... Did anyone see that??"

"See what?"

"That! That demon face thingy that just appeared on the cupboard!!"

"Was there one?"

"Like yea! It popped out on a cabinet and then disappeared in a sec!"

"But... we didn't see anything."

Froze. And then ran in all my cowardly frenzy to the other room, where I remained for the remainder of the film.

What I know now, of course, is that it was a cinematic effect, purposely put in by the director to freak out his audience and lend extra freakiness to an already freaky film. After I saw the first face, the rest of them latched onto this, and from time to time, I would hear screams of "I saw it! I saw it!" coming from the living room.

Ugh. Any more films like this and I'll probably end up covering my room with crucifixes.

A whole new perspective on the love issue....

http://www.boltcity.com/copper_016_fall.htm

so damn cute... :p

Freakin' shit, can someone fly me to Minneapolis? I WANT TO GO FOR THIS!!!!

http://mcadart.com/mcart/index.cgi?ID=C1OY7E&task=show&cat=Scott+McCloud

Scott McCloud, COMIC GURU!!!!!!!!! WHY DO I HAVE TO LIVE IN SINGAPORE???? ARGH!!!

And replies to the Tags.....

Convo pix at:
http://photobucket.com/albums/v137/boredslacker/convo2004/

much apologies for the delay.......hee.....

Rdg the Jap Name Generator, I must've typed in the link wrongly.... try this:
http://rumandmonkey.com/widgets/toys/namegen/969/

Rdg Dragonfly, considering that the only way for the plot to thicken is for me to do something stupid/crazy/weird with/to/against him...... I think I'll let things be peaceful. You guys just have to wait for the action to happen on its own. :p

feel better after a day out in town, and dinner with Juls. The good thing about dinner with him is that he'll talk so much obscene crap to you, that you're more focused on vomitting out your dinner, rather than getting neurotic all over again. Thanks fren... I think...

He did tell me this enlightening story though, about the Coffee Test:

A professor brought out a beaker, several golf balls, a bucket of sand and a cup of coffee. In front of his bemused class, he put the golf balls into the beaker, filling it to the brim with the golf balls, and he asked the class, "Is there any space left in this beaker?"

The class goes no. The professor smiled knowingly at the class, and tipped the bucket of sand into the beaker. The sand filled in the spaces between the golf balls, and now the beaker was filled to the brim with sand and golf balls.

Several heads in the audience nodded. The professor now turns to the class again, "Now, is there any space left in the beaker?"

The class says no again. The professor now tips in his cup of coffee into the mixture. The sand soaks up the coffee, and turns brown. In front of the amused class, the entire cup of coffee was poured into the seemingly-full beaker.

"What's the point of this exercise? You may be asking." Says the professor.

"The golf balls represent the most important things in your life. Your friends, your family, your lover, God. These are the things that will stay solid and firm in your life, like the golf balls."

"The sand represents all the little things that fill up the rest of your life. Your work, your housework, your bills... all the little nitty gritty things you have to do, that fill up the rest of your time, much like the sand has filled up the spaces between the golf balls."

"The coffee... is to make a point. That no matter how much golf balls, how much sand in your life, there's always time... to have a cup of coffee with friends."

Cute eh? Never knew Juls was capable of such... sentimental crap.

Anyway, to clear my mind, went to the Singapore Arts Museum yesterday. ( The old SJI ) They were having a Wunderpark exhibit, which is supposed to be an interactive exhibition. They did up a couple of the galleries to look like a park, sorta, and you're encouraged to go and scribble and leave your mark on the walls.

[side: If pix take too long to load, skip it all, and click on the PhotoBucket link to the right, and go to the album named SAM]
Some pix:

Maybe these are the snapdragons? :) Little red paper dragons, suspended on poles.

Closeup.

Some secondary school had just come in for a visit while I was there. Here, one of the students leaves her marks to one of the cardboard exhibits.

Graffiti-ed walls

Who can resist an unevil bunny?

Other pix:

SAM is taken over by evil orange mutant ooze

JuMing exhibits

Juming is a Taiwanese artist, whose sculptures are currently being showcased at various locations around Singapore. If you've gone to Orchard and seen some dubious blocks of granite outside Wisma, that's his. At the SAM, they have a couple of sculptures from his Living World series and Monk series.

BTW, these are the free ones I managed to see. The others, in another gallery, I had to pay for... so I din go in... hee..

The Living World series is inspired by the sculptor's observations of the world around him. Hence, this series tends to be observations of ordinary people in their everyday lives.

Lining Up - A common sight in Singapore, especially when free things are involved.

Aunties taking a rest - Probably from all the lining up?

Monks was inspired by the Venerable Ming Yi, who has done dangerous stunts in order to raise funds for the Ren Ci hospital. The group of sculptures is done in dedication to his selfless [and reckless] spirit.


There are more sculptures to be seen in the same style outside Fullerton, along Orchard Road, and at Changi Airport.

After dinner with Juls, I also went down to the Substation for First Takes. [yes, I had a very arty-farty night] This is a program organized by the Substation for aspiring local film-makers to showcase their short films.

4 short films were shown, namely:

Under the Manhattan Bridge - An encounter between a Chinatown boy and a Manhanttan pickpocket.

Portrait of a Young Man - The story of Lawrence Leow, which turned out to be a propaganda film for Singapore Poly.

The Assassin - A funny look at the life of a local assassin. :p Very fun, and tongue-in-cheek.

And my personal favourite,
The Funeral Photo - An elderly couple go to a photo studio to have their funeral photos taken.

It was quite interesting, but the Funeral Photo was hilarious. :) Too bad the director wasn't there for the Q&A after that, it would've been interesting to hear his insights on his own film. I signed up for the mailing list too, so if I hear of any other free screenings....

Hearing the directors speak of their difficulties in the local [practically non-existent] film industry in Singapore, though, was quietly inspiring. These people were prepared to take off 3 years from their jobs in order to pursue their dreams, and see if they have any chance of making it here. The Manhattan director was an investment banker before she decided to pursue her filmmaking dream, for g'sakes. Kudos for their guts.

Interesting. When we think of the film industry, we mostly think of Hollywood, Japan, Korea, and some European, but we never think of the local ones. This little pocket of filmmakers have been quietly toiling behind the veils, waiting for their chances, and exploiting little pockets of publicity like this, all confident in their dream, and willing to make the sacrifices just so that they can tell themselves in the future, "I tried."

Why don't they succeed? Funding for one, is a big problem. The 3 directors worked on shoestring budgets, with the exception of Portrait, because it was commissioned by Singapore Poly. The Assassin was shot with one camera and edited on IMovies, which is about as low-budget as you can go. :p Just goes to prove that finance is no barrier to creativity and talent.

Then there's the problem of publicity and public opinion. Most people think of local films as "bad", "low-budget", "fake angmoh accents", and such. As such, public opinion towards most local films is biased, and we tend to think that local films revolve mainly around Jack Neo and Royston Tan, and local actors all come from Mediacorp. There's a whole bunch of talented people out there, whom we've never heard of, but who are toiling for their 15 minutes.

But which also goes to prove. Creativity can exist anywhere. Censorship and funding may limit expression, but not creativity. Creativity can always find a way around everything.

Damn, why didn't I just study the arts?

A little appetiser before the main course...

Using my first name and surname,

My japanese name is 遠藤 Endoh (distant wisteria) 三千代 Michiyo (three thousand generations).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Using my chinese hanyu pinyin,

My japanese name is 中島 Nakashima (center of the island) 久美子 Kumiko (eternal beautiful child).
Take your real japanese name generator! today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

So I shall combine the 2. My new Jap name is Nakashima Michiyo, 3000 generations of mine will live in the center of the island. :p So my family will live in Bishan for 3000 generations. Hahaha... Yenn and Krynn, wanna try it out before going for Jap class? ;)

Eternal Turmoil of the Neurotic Mind

There are a few things you have to understand about the Piscean mind before you can make any sense of the following entry.

1. We are sensitive. We pick up each trace of emotion on other people, like the magic brush that picks up lint from your clothing, and the lint that we pick up sticks to us. Sometimes, though, we end up thrashing the same surface over and over again, convinced that there are microbes of dust we missed, when actually there may be none there at all.

2. We live with one foot in fantasy and the other in reality. Oftentimes, the world gets too much for us, and our way of handling it is to crawl into our own fantasy cubbyhole and hide there. We hate the real world. ( This is also why Pisceans have alcoholic and drug tendencies )

3. We are imaginative. Because we live so much in fantasy, it's pretty easy for us to weave our own fantasy threads. And we can weave some pretty damn big ones at that.

All 3 options are bad enough on their own, but when you put them all together, it's a recipe for cosmic disaster, if you ask me.

I went through another insomniac night last night, tossing and turning on my bed. Somehow, my body has the idea that it is wrong to sleep before 12, and if I try to sleep any earlier than that, it protests. Either that it was fooled by the light filtering through my window. ( Ever notice how bright it is at night? What with the street lights, and the corridor lights, bouncing and reflecting all over the place, it's a wonder anyone of us gets any sleep at night. )

Or maybe it was all the rubbish that was going through my head. ( Or maybe the rubbish came up because I couldn't sleep? Chicken and egg, chicken and egg. ) Look at the palms of my hand. They're covered all over with lines, criss-crossing all over the surface of my palm. Such lines represent things worrying on the person's mind. And if that's the case, I've tons of worries. ( Probably a result of the 3 Piscean Tendencies )

One of the things on my mind was my love life. ( Gods I hope I don regret posting this up later, but it does feel better to tell someone(s) about it ) Or should I say, rather, my utter lack of it. I'm already 23 and still haven't gotten into a relationship yet. Granted that I'm mature enough ( or I like to think so anyway ) to know that it doesn't matter that I'm single, that I have other things in my life, that there will be someone out there, that my time will come, yadda yadda, still...

"Those who stand in the spotlight will never know how it feels, to stand so close to it, and yet never be in it."
~Xander, an ep of Buffy.

You see all your friends being shot down by Cupid's arrow one by one, ( some of them getting that arrow painfully wrenched out later on, and still having a broken off arrowhead stuck in their hearts ) and pretty soon you realise you're one of the few left standing. The rest are all away somewhere in that little bubble of luv that a couple builds up around itself whenever they're together. It sux even more when you're a single gal out with 2 bubbles. You feel uncomfortable, slightly ignored, and wondering whether if you were to wander off by yourself, would the bubbles even notice you were gone, and how long would it take them to look outside their bubble and realise you were gone?

( With this note, if I ever get attached, I solemnly swear that I will never do this to any of my single-at-the-time friends. If I do, may Aphrodite kick me in the butt. )

Friends give you advice, encouragement, ( for which I am eternally grateful ) but you still wonder. Is this really what God has meant for you? Maybe you can do more good to the world if you were to remain single? Maybe you're destined to be this way? On the paternal side of the family, there seems to be a 1/3 chance of getting hooked. My grandfather was the eldest of 3, and the only one to be married. My father was also the eldest of 3, and also the only to be married. My granduncle, grandaunt, uncle and aunt are all unmarried, even to this day. Maybe it's in my genes? I have a 1/3 chance of getting attached and married, which I share with my bro?

Dragonfly then enters into the neuroses. ( Er, if you're reading this... Bear with me while you can. ) Should I have tried entering into a relationship with him? Do I like him enough to start something with him? Or am I, as juls said in the Reloaded episode, more in love with the idea of love, rather than love itself? Is it fair to enter into a relationship, simply for the sake of ending the eternal loneliness? And just as importantly, do I like him?

( Sensing a lot of people reading this with bated breath )

I have a slight confession to make. *_* Some days, I walk home, wondering whether I'll meet him along the way. I have a student living at his block, and when I walk there, I wonder if I'll meet him, or whether he's home or out late, working on his ECA. Some nights, I stand at my kitchen balcony, looking over at his cluster of flats, and wondering whether he's working late tonight, or whether he's even home at all.

Does this constitute "like"? Or is it more a case of me realising I have a dragonfly and unable to ignore his presence on my shoulder? Am I noticing him because he came up like the little bleep on the radar screen? Or is it simply that the physical proximity reminds me more often of him?

*Bleep *Bleep *Bleep

Then again, what makes me think he's still my Dragonfly? Maybe he's already tired of me, flown away to another shoulder when I turned my head away for too long. Maybe he's been scared off by my neurotism and has gone away to more peaceful shores. Maybe he's just busy with work, school and life and hasn't really thought about it, unlike me.

What the hell am I thinking? What the hell do I want?

ARGH!!! I SHOULD JUST TAKE A BLOODY SLEEPING PILL THE NEXT TIME!!!

Trying to get myself to sleep, I tried instead to think of something that would relax me instead. I tried to use my Piscean imagination to put myself back on the streets of Paris, on Vauxholm. I tried to remember the spread of colours in Midsummer Stockholm. I tried to remember the rolling green fields that had no end, the impossibly blue sky, and the way the seagulls would cry, as they glided above me.

And then I entered another kind of depression, on realising that I was still in Singapore, with all the HDB blocks boxing me in. With the endless pressures and expectations of society, family, friends, and my own insecurities. That feeling of endless hope and potential was lost, and all I had left of it was a rapidly fading memory that I desperately tried to hold on to. Feathers floating off into the sky, my hand grasping desperately for one, knowing that if I caught one, everything would be all right, but still they floated elusively out of reach.

Once I dreamt that I was on holiday again, with Juls, Jordan, and Sophia. We were somewhere, I don't know where, and we were preparing to go off and explore this new city we were in. We ran off along a street, excited and happy...

And then I woke up, and I realised I was still in my bed in Singapore. No new horizons to explore. Same old dreary Singapore. Gods, now that was the most depressing wakeup ever.

I don't miss the buildings, I don't miss the attractions, I don't miss the food, I don't miss the people in Europe. What I missed most were the feelings I had through the trip. Feelings of peace, unbridled freedom, a sense of euphoria, and a heart bursting with optimism, and self-confidence, that everything in the world was truly possible and that I could, and was capable of, doing anything that I wanted. That's what I took from Europe, and that's what I missed most.

What a buncha crap. Note to self: Don't read books about paranoid-psychotic-depressive teenagers before bed, like the Moth Diaries by Rachel Klein, and don't eat garlic bread as a late night snack.

I don't know what time I finally snoozed off, but I know it was after my bro had finished his project work and came up to bed, so it must've been late. I woke up in the morning, at 730, to prepare for a 9am student, and it felt like my eyes were drooping lower than a St Bernard's, and so dry I had to keep blinking and tearing. Even now, at 2pm in the afternoon, my eyes want to sleep, even though my body and mind are wide awake. I even told Dragonfly that I thought he was embarrassed to talk to me or something, because he'd turned me down the last few times I asked him out for dinner. Great, another dumb SMS that I'll probably regret later. Groan...

The one uplifting point about today was the glorious weather on the walk home from J8. 12 in the afternoon, the sky was a clear blue and the sun was a comfortable warm temperature, like the embrace of a lover's arms. Everything was bright and sunny, and served as a reminder from God of 2 things:

1. This is why you chose to forsake the office life. This is one of the simple things in life that tell you life is worth living, and life is good.

2. Everything's good. Everything's fine. Live your life, instead of worrying about it.

Blogging over, time to leave the house, and live. =)

Rainbow Pride

For those who didn't get the hidden allusion in the title...

I finally managed to catch Connie and Carla last Friday afternoon. "Women dressed as men dressed as women!" The basic premise of the story is that Connie and Carla dream of making it big singing show tunes in dinner theatres. One day, they witness their boss getting shot by some gangsters and they run, not knowing that their boss had secreted a bag of cocaine in their purse.

Looking for a place to hide, with no culture, no music and no theatres, as Carla puts it, they therefore end up in Los Angeles. :) There, Connie gets the idea of hiding out as drag queens, and they audition for a pub. Soon, they become sensations, probably because no one could imagine a guy/girl could sing like them.

The best thing is that the girls, with their outrageous show personalities, manage to fit in perfectly into their role as drag queens. They are sharp, campy, and have a f**k-you attitude that is to die for, dahling. Hence, they fit in just fine with the other sharp, campy, f**k-you drags. :)

The plot itself is predictable. You know Connie will fall in love with David Duchovny, ( He of the Fox Mulder fame. Oh, how long it took him to get back to screen! ) you know everything will work out fine, you know the girls will have to reveal their secret identities at the end. So what's the draw for this movie? Watching the gays and the transvestites in it. :D

Gawds! Those guys were hilarious! Like the first time C&C are introduced to these 4 guys, who come in, look at their sparse apartment, and declare "decorating time!" and then turn their apartment into something out of Martha Stewart's Home Living. *flicks a limp wrist* Be-yoo-tiful, dahling. Check out the guys in the audience, who wear pink tank tops and belly-button baring tanks, and who can barely hold back their emotions after the girls finish singing.

Or the drag queens, who dress up in their outrageous costumes and makeup, and who probably act more feminine than I do most of the time. :p "Oh, I hate you!" "Oh dear, oh dear, where's my lipstick?" "Are you all right? Do you need company?" *accompanied by sincere, caring glance* Gawds! They're so campy! You almost pity David Duchovny, who has to make a wrenching decision between his disapproving fiancee ( "Jeff, they're freaks..." ) and his cross-dressing brother. ( "This is who I am. You can't just pick the parts of me to like." ) Especially the scene when his full-dragged up brother walks in one direction away and his stern fiancee walks away in another and he's uncomfortably stuck in the middle, not knowing which side to follow.

Of course, this movie being the predictable type, you know that eventually he will acknowledge his brother.

So not to sound homophobic or prejudiced or anything, but I think the main draw of the movie is to laugh at the gays and the drag queens in it. ( Sorry to any gays or trans out there ) Their performance is superbly hilarious, and more than offsets the predictability of the show. ( Though even the ending was a bit much for me )

Girls' Nite Out

The rest of the night was spent over dinner and shopping with Necroz. High levels of oxytocin were probably in play last night, as we dined over sushi, gossiped, ( "So is your boss as cheekopek as ever?" "You mean he hasn't made a move yet??" ) and then made a beeline for the shopping.

Sometimes, in my single mode, and out with another single female, I wonder why some attached women like to drag their boyfriends along on shopping trips with them. Having shopped with both guys and gals, I say the experience of shopping with gals is way more fun. There's some kind of shopping high when both of you squeal over the same cute bra and run to the changing room to try it in together. ( In separate rooms of course ) Or when you try on new clothes, and step out and ask each other for opinions. ( "You need a larger size for that" ) There are just some stuff that a female friend is likely to tell you, rather than a male friend.

Compare: Shopping partners Necroz ( typical single female shopping partner ) and Turtle ( typical unwilling male shopping partner )

You see a sale in one of your favourite shops.

With N: "OMG, there's a sale!" "That shirt is so cute! Let's go in!" "Yah! Let's go!"

With T: "OMG, there's a sale!" T's shoulders slump, face falls, bored expression shows. "Ha? Another one?"

You take a few items into the changing room, and wear them outside for opinions.

With N: "How does this shirt look?" "Too tight" "This one?" "No leh, colour not nice" "This one?" "Yah! That one looks good!"

With T: "How does this shirt look?" "Ok." "This one?" "Ok." "This one?" "Ok."

You are deciding which to buy.

With N: "This one?" "Hm, no leh, not that nice. Save your money." "This one?" "If you can find it in red, then buy it!" "This one?" "Yah! Get it! You look damn nice!"

With T: "This one?" "Buy so many clothes for what?? So ex some more! Save your money for something else lah!"

You see................

But then again, I suppose the advantage of an unwilling male shopping partner is that his bored mood will lessen your enjoyment at the shopping experience, and hence prevent you from shopping too much and swiping your card too often. ;)

In a sappy mood

My husband was an engineer. Since I met him, he was always an unflappable rock in my life. I knew he always had his feet firmly planted on the ground, and it seemed that no matter what else went crazy, he would be the one constant.

Three years of romance, and two years of marriage later, I got tired. He was the most unromantic man I know. He never bought me flowers, he never surprised me, and nothing changed in our marriage. After some time, I finally found the courage to tell him that I wanted to leave him. He just sat there, speechless. My heart froze... what kind of man was I married to that didn't even know what to say to make me stay?

After a while, he spoke, "What can I do to change your mind?"

"I will stay if you can give me a good answer to this question," I replied coldly. "If I asked for a flower that grew on a cliff, and you knew that getting it for me means certain death, would you get it for me?".

His face grew troubled. "Can I give you an answer tomorrow morning?" he asked. Hearing that kind of answer, my heart died. I knew that I could never be happy with a man who couldn't even give me an answer straight away.

The next morning, when I woke up, he was missing. In the living room, under a warm glass of milk, was a note. My eyes grew misty as I read it... It said:

"Dear, I have my answer. I will never pick the flower for you if it meant certain death. But before you leave, I hope you can give me a chance to give you my reasons....

You will always sit in front of the computer and type for about the whole day, but everytime you will end up in tears cause your formating will always go all over the place... I need my fingers, to do the formating for you, so your tears will become smiles.

You like to travel, but would always get lost... I need my eyes, so that I can bring you to the nicest places on earth.

Everytime you leave the house, you would always forg et your keys... I need my legs, so that I can run home to open the door for you.

You never knew how to take care of yourself... I need my hands to help you get rid of the pesky white hair you hate so much when you grow old, to trim your nails, to feed you.

So you see, that's why I can't pick the flower for you. Until I find that there is someone who loves you more than I do, I will need my body to take care of you. If you accept my reasons, then open the door, where I will be waiting with your favourite muffin."

With tears streaming from my eyes, I opened the door, and there he stood, with a extremely worried look on his face. He still had nothing to say, but just stood there waving the packet he had in his hand in front of me. And then I knew for a fact that I will never find another man who will ever love me as much as he does. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean that they don't love you with all they have...

Altogether now.... AAAAAAWWWWWWW.................... *sniff sniff*

So call me a hopeless romantic already. I'm precisely looking out for that kinda guy. *wink wink*

New Look!

Yupz, I decided to do some renovations... You should all be able to read the blog while the changes are going on, so no worries. Hopefully no more coding screw-ups while I'm at it too.

This past weekend has been... eventful. I started out on Thurs nite ( yes, as early as that ) celebrating Sylveracyd's birthday at her place. At this moment I've just finished designing her pressie, after a lot of headache and printing and stuff. Hope she likes it, if she's reading this. :p

Then Friday night was spent with Quet and Zhuan at Jazz@Southbridge. ( Don't click on the link hor, I don't think that's a working email link ) The music was alright, the drinks were alright. The first one, St Thomas', tasted like peach and lychee juice, making one wonder whether there was any alcohol in it at all. The 2nd, Flaming Lambhorgini, I will NEVER drink again.

After the first drink, I felt properly cheated of my alcoholic binge, so Zhuan and I got a menu for a 2nd drink each. I skimmed through the list, looking for something new to try out, and the name "Flaming Lambhorgini" caught my eye. Sounded interesting, and looked expensive enough to have a higher alcoholic content, so...

Later on, the waiter came by with a martini glass in one hand, and a shot and a lighter in the other.

Bloody hell, I'm getting a bad feeling about why the name is "Flaming"

"Um, this is my first time drinking this, so can you tell me what you're gonna do?"

"Oh, ok. What I'm gonna do is light the drink, pour this in, and you have to drink it up in one shot."

Bloody bloody hell. That goes my hopes of having something to slowly drink the night away.

So he lights it the first time, and throws in the contents of the shot, and the glass is alight with these simmering blue flames dancing on the surface of the drink. Almost poetic, if not for the fact that I had to drink it. Images of my lips catching blue fire raced through my head.

"I'll get you a straw for that." Phew.

He pops in the straw, and I start sucking, but it's still not fast enough. The straw actually starts to melt when I'm halfway through the drink! SOS! Mayday! I pull out the straw before the melted plastic contaminates my drink, and I accidentally drip some drops of the blue flaming liquid onto the table, where they glow for a while.

Suddenly I the words "Nuclear disaster" pop out in my head, along with images of mutated teenage turtles.

Anyway, with the 2nd straw, I sipped up the remainder of the drink, with only 1/3 of the straw melted this time. Another reason why they call it "Flaming": The stupid thing BURNS your throat like no other. It feels like the blue flames from the drink are flaming down your esophagus down to your digestive system. Ergh ergh.......

The waiter got me a glass of water after that, and that was my drink for the rest of the night. Water. Blood hell.

Then Saturday night the Egg Squad made an impromptu visit to Harry's at Boat Quay to watch Goldfish and the Lindy Hoppers dance. Damn those dancers were good. And it helps that the music was TONS better than Southbridge also. Like, this is the way jazz should be! And the dancers exploited the music to the full. Everytime the band started a new set, the whole crowd would descend to the extremely constrained dance floor and dance away, somehow not quite managing to get into each other's way.

( Well, not quite. Goldfish bumped into some dancers I think )

And they had so much fun while doing it, it was infectious. It's tempting to go for lindy classes after seeing other people have so much FUN while doing it! And to dance to your favourite music, what a kick! When I have more cash... :(

Incidentally, omedeto gozaimasu to I-en san, who received a prize for full attendance during Tenrikyo's graduation ceremony. Heh... The ceremony was on Sat afternoon at Crown Prince Hotel, and we all received certs proclaiming us graduated from Level 1. Which means we can basically say "Hi" and "Goodbye" to each other. Hee, just kidding...

The ceremony was long and boring, but the food was worth waiting for. Anyone who wants to hold a function, Crown Prince has damn good Chinese food. Fried rice, dim sum, fried chicken, red bean paste, bee hoon... the 4 of us ( me, Yenn, Krynn and ZX ) ate like crazy, and I don't think any of us had dinner that night. *Burp*

Afterwards Yenn and I went down to the Youth Council to check it out, passing by some bands on the way. I think Sat was kinda a busking festival day or something, cos when I got off the bus at Far East, there was a small crowd there, listening to a band play outside the building. I stand corrected, listening to a band try to play, because they were bad. People like that need people like Simon Cowell to come give them reality checks. What the hell are you doing singing in public like that???

Then outside Cineleisure, while Yenn and I were walking there, another band was trying their pitifully best to do covers of Red Hot Chilli Pepper songs. What they were doing, to my battered ears, seemed to be massacring RHCP songs. ( Did I spell that right? ) God, it pains the heart ( and the ears ) to hear someone kill your favourite songs. I rushed Yenn to the NYC building before we had to listen any more to them.

This band, however, earns praise.

 
Their name is Rave ( I think ) and their songs are rock, with an airy, light style. The kind of music that makes you wanna stretch your arms to the blue sky, and feel the wind on your face. I like their music, and I'm wondering if they would ever come out with an album, because they're freakin' good. Want another opinion? Yenn thought they were good too, and I noticed that while they were playing, there were more people standing around, listening to them, and tapping their feet to the beat. That's how you tell a band is good. ;)

And that's it for the weekend liao... Hope the week goes good...

It figures that the more time ( or lazy ) I am, the more my blog gets updated.

Candle: Yes, I did a lot of thinking during that little road trip to Malmo. Well, when you're in a car careening down the highway, and all the other passengers are asleep, you have no alternative but to stare out at the fields and lose yourself in thought. Hahaha...

But I admit, that road trip, with the endless scenery of green fields, forest, and the giant windmills spinning slowly, will always be etched in my mind.

The Best in the World

Anyway, plagiarised from Newsweek this week, is a special report of The Best Countries in the World.

The article lists the best countries in the world in several categories, for example State, People, Business, Science, and the Arts.

So for example, the best country to be an idealist is The Netherlands, for their curious mixture of business and altruism, while the best country to be young is Turkey, with a median age of 25.

People who want to work overseas, the best country to be an expatriate is Britain, which is keen on attracting those with degrees and talent to their shores.

But another interesting report is the one that asks: "Can poor people be more self-satisfied than the rich?"

The article states that "a World Value Survey of people in 65 nations... decided that the world's happiest people lived in Nigeria"

"Those ranked second to fifth in the happiness survey were the people of Mexico, Venezuela, El Salvador and Puerto Rico."

Huh????? All poor, developing nations? What happened to the big guns, like the US of A, Japan, France? Does it really show that poorer people are happier than the rich?

Well, not exactly. Firstly, every single person on this earth has their own personal definition of happiness. So which means there are, oh, say about 1billion different ideas of happiness on earth?

Then satisfaction too is different from happiness. Remember this theory in Management? That one could be in a state of negative motivation, satisfaction, or positive motivation? ( Ok, I forgot what that theory was ) The idea was that one could be satisfied with one's work, but not be positively motivated to do more for it. You get enuff peanuts to make you happy, but not enough to make you want to work for bananas.

The key point in the article, however, is that "happiness can be a tantalizing but elusive goal - a ripe apple in a tree that's always just out of reach" When you have no money, you want more money. When you have money, you want more money.

Actually in a past, past issue of Newsweek, there was an example that clearly highlighted this. When you're stuck in an office, you envy the guy who's flying off somewhere on a business trip. When you're on economy, you envy the guy in first class
The guy in first class envies the guy in business
The guy in business sees the guy who managed to charter a private jet
And the guy in the private jet sees Donald Trump getting onto his own privately owned jet!

The cycle of envy and want goes on and on. And as it turns, our dissatisfaction grows, regardless of the fact that we may earn more than the average Nigerian, have enough to eat, a roof over our heads, and friends and family who love us and all our money-scheming ways.

Also, there's another theory that "satisfying relationships are a more important influence on happiness than income". So the more or better relationships you have with the people around you would be more likely to affect your happiness.

Judging from some friends, I would say this is true to some extent too. What's the point of working in a nice office, with a nice pay, but where half the people would rather see you dead six feet under? Why not work for far less the money, in a place where you are appreciated, and where people are nice to you and respect you? ( Another reason why I prefer to work with young, impressionable kids )

Well, we all have differing ideas of happiness, as evidenced by this article. If you guys get a hand on Newsweek, ( perhaps the free browsing copies at Borders ) read the article. It's enlightening in more ways than one.

Oh, and incidentally? In their Top 10 countries list, Singapore ranks as 9, with the description "City-state with a corporate mind-set. Clean government", beating Canada. ( We beat Canada?? ) Turtle may be glad to know that Sweden ranks first, because of "high marks for health care and innovation".

So you see, even as much as life sucks in Singapore, we still only lost to 8 other countries to be one of the best to live in. Maybe that's something worth considering over. ;)

Remember Friendster?

So this slacker was checking out the Friendster website this day. ( Yes, remember what Friendster is? ) I got bored, felt kaypoh, and decided to nose around to see who I knew, what happened to who I knew, and so on.

The result is rather interesting. In my messages box, I found a guy that had apparently created a website dedicated to himself, himself and himself. The writing on his page was good, but the clincher was the advert he had made for himself, linking people to his Friendster testimonials. Ok.... Too bad the way he dressed in it made him look like some Chippendale boytoy... ok, maybe I'm being mean here, but check it out for yourselves.

Then it turns out that Sophia ( fellow European traveller ) found my profile, through Jul. Click, added her as friend. Then got curious, wondering who else Jul knew that I possibly did as well.

Click on Jul's friends, found Jordan, ( irritating guy who kept suanning and pinching me ) and other ex-classmates from CJC. Apparently these people out there update their Friendster profiles a whole lot more frequently than I do ( mine still says I'm a student ) and so it's an interesting way to see what's happened to all your old classmates. ( and also kaypohly look at their testimonials to see what others write about them and laugh )

For one, all the girls appear to have become chiobus over time. Did I miss a trend somewhere? Even the already-cute seems to have become impossibly beautiful, as according to their profiles. Why can't someone just put up a photo of them just having woken up with bed hair or something? Plain honesty is so under-appreciated.

Then I kaypohed some more. Hm, this guy is now working as this, this girl is working as that, this girl is in another relationship, this one still likes so-n-so. Please tell me this photo has been altered, because no one someone can look that good in a photo. This guy hasn't changed a bit. This guy has strange hair. This guy watches Naruto. This guy knows... him??? OMG it's him! And suddenly you find someone you thought had dropped off the face of the earth. Now it turns out that with a few clicks, a bit more waiting time, you could be in contact with someone whom, for all you knew, could have died long ago.

Well... that few clicks is still impending at the time I'm writing this, because Friendster also takes a goddamn long time to load. Bleah. And also because I'm hesitant to come out of me comfy little shell to make contact with the world outside again. C'mon, it took me that long just to polish the scales.

Should I make the effort to contact someone whom I haven't seen for years, and will probably not remain in contact with after this? I don't like the idea of collecting Friendster profiles as some kind of hobby, or as a scoreboard for my popularity, but sometimes, maybe you're just curious about what's happened to the people you used to know, and how have they turned out. ( The downside is that it could turn out they've become even bigger bastards than when you knew them )

Or maybe I should just do other stuff with my time, like blog. ;) Well, at least it's inspired me to at least update my profile a little.

Occupation: Full-time Slacker, who teaches tuition for the $$$

Stockholm

Is now up on the Europe Blog.

Met Candle and Yenn to watch Supersize me just last night, and Candle was regaling me with tales of shopping in Thailand. Argh... I can't wait... That wholesale market she visited is especially tempting...

Of course, something else compounding the problem is that I may potentially be out of work around oct/nov/dec, when the exams end, and I don't know if the parents want me to tutor their kids in dec, in prep for sec. sch/O levels/N levels. Now I'm considering all kinds of wayward options to earn money during that time, including:

-Selling T-shirts again, coming up with new designs, and using the old stock from the last venture.
-Setting up some kind of holiday class in my house, like creative writing.
-Starving during those 3 months, and concentrating on other creative ventures, like writing or drawing
-Going to Thailand around mid-end Nov, find some funky stuff, buy back in bulk and sell to people in Dec. :p Anyone needs cheap Xmas presents to give to other people? Hahaha...
-Do everything on my list. What have I got to lose?

So which do you guys think is a more viable option?

Incidentally, after doing some research on the Net, I think I'll be able to go to Thailand for about SGD600, which includes airfare, and accomo for 3N in Chiangmai, and 3N in Bangkok, though I'm thinking of 4N Chiangmai and 2N Bangkok instead. I'll probably aim for mid-end Nov, because of above plans, and I've decided that party should consist of no more than 4 people. Anymore, and decision-making goes haywire.

And I hope to make day trips into Cambodia or Laos too. Apparently it can be arranged from Thailand. Hm...

Ok, need money. Fast. Hard. Any old ladies with gold jewellery around my estate? *Peeps out the window*

SuperSize Me

Watch this show.... and never eat fast food again.

By now most of you know the story of Morgan Spurlock. Spurred on by the lawsuit against Mc's by 2 obese girls, who claimed that Ronald McD was responsible for their obese condition, he went on a 30 day McDiet, eating nothing but Mc's meals, 3X a day, and supersized if they asked him if he wanted it.

And by God, the supersized McMeal? Will probably feed 4 of us. The fries are gigantic and the amount of Coke is about half a gallon. In fact, on the 3rd day of his diet, he threw up the supersized meal in the carpark, because it was so damn much food.

Yes, he's probably insane. There's only so far you can go in the name of artistic license, and in this case, it would have probably shot his liver to pieces, ruined his sex life, and made him gain over 10 kg in a month. ( which he actually did )

And it's good. In fact, I met Candle before the movie, and we ate at BK. I jokingly told her that this would probably be the last time we ate fast food after watching the movie. And in fact, during the movie I suddenly had strong cravings for broccoli. Because Spurlock looks so gross while he's eating Mc's that you just don't feel like eating anymore. Bleah. Thank goodness we didn't even buy popcorn in.

But in the end, the movie is just one side of the Blame Game. Mc's puts the onus on parents to teach their kids. He says Mc's doesn't provide information for parents to teach their kids. The govt is under too much pressure from the food companies to provide healthier food in school canteens. The corporations say they're just doing business.

Yeargh. Please. Everyone knows that fast food is bad for you. If you refuse to believe that, buy chicken from KFC and squeeze the oil out onto the paper. There's no blotter paper absorbent enough to absorb all that oil. Lookit all the mayo BK and Mc's puts on its fish burgers. Check out all the salt on the fries. [Jul has this habit of asking for extra salt from BK and sprinkling it on his fries. Eek. Like they're not doused enough already]

The thing making it worse is that most Americans don't exercise much anymore. Take the average day of an office worker. You wake up, walk to the MRT, go to your office, and you sit there for the whole day, till lunch, and then you sit somemore, till you go home, and sleep. There's not much exercise time in there. Experts say we should have at least 30 mins of exercise a day to keep fit, but face it, who has that time?

Gods. Our office and fast food culture is making us all fat and unhealthy. And who says progress is good for us?

Sorry if my blog went a bit haywire. After getting Candle's SMS, I logged on to discover... all the words on my blog had disappeared. WTF WTF WTF. The problem has hopefully been rectified and you guys are hopefully now reading this as normal.
 
Watashi no Nihon Shiken wa ii desu ne! Watashi, to I-en san, to Lin-Da san ima, wa le-be-ru II no gakusei desu. Rai shu no do yoobi, minna san wa ku-ra-n pu-lin-su ho-te-ru de tabe masu! Yoku desu! Fukuda sensei, doomo arigato gozaimasu! 
  
The Parisian leg is up on the Europe blog. Check it out.  

In today's Sunday Lifestyle, Colin Goh commented that, upon coming back to Singapore for 2 weeks after living in another country, he now feels his Singaporeanness coming back to him. As in, he desperately wants to get out of the country. :p My sympathies, but at least he managed to live somewhere else and make a living there, while I could only begone for a few weeks, and still have to come back here.
 
"Still have to come back here". That simple sentence carries a ton of undertones with it. The strongest of which is the underlying wish that I didn't have to come back. That I could stay over there, explore the rest of the world, and never come back to Singapore again.
 
Though I know that part of it is pure impulse, the trip also opened a kind of hunger for something, which was never there before. It was as if, having eaten some kind of forbidden fairy food, I'm now filled with the longing of it. The longing to see new worlds. The longing to open my eyes again. The longing to watch the sun set over Prague Castle.
 
*Focus. Reality. Here*
 
The result of it is that now I'm filled with a kind of wanderlust, the kind that hits kender in the Dragonlance world, and I want to desperately leave Singapore again. Or at least, see something new other than the all-too-familiar HDB blocks, which seem more and more like the walls of a well, confining me to the bottom, while cruelly allowing me the view of the sky.
 
I will crawl out of this well. Having been shown the way, now knowing that there is a way out, how can I be content for long here?
 
Once you let the bird of the cage, and let it fly, how can you expect it to be happy in its cage again? Even if it is fed, watered, and allowed to play on a golden perch, it will not be happy anymore. Far more merciful to let it out, and let it die under the blue sky.
 
*Focus. Here. Now*
 
Hence I now plan my Thailand trip, browsing through the Lonely Planet website for sights to see in Bangkok and Chiangmai, other than the usual shopping venues. Hence I pulled Yenn one Saturday out of the getting-boring Orchard road into the bustle of Chinatown, ending up drinking teh and munching on kaya balls in a kopitiam, after browsing through much of the tourist trappy stuff and cheena souvenirs. [Side: We actually met Alwin there, and on the way home, I met Denis and Siqi. Why's so many people congregating at Chinatown all of a sudden?] Too bad I couldn't convince her to Little India. :p
 
I'm on a restless phase. Humph. Where will this wind blow me to next? 

The Day After...

Amazingly, I managed to wake up at a decent hour, and sober at that, after the night before. I count that as a victory in my books.

So the day's events, starting from lunch with Candle and KR:

We were eating at the Arts canteen when we saw someone from our faculty walk by with a guy. Clue to ex-bizaders: Finance honours student, was attached to a HR major girl for 3 years, and was one of bizad's more well-known couples, till they broke up last year. [and if by chance he knows of this blog, i hope he doesn't kill me for the following conversation]

Candle: Hey, there's A.
KR: Who's that girl with him?

Tongues start wagging immediately. Has he officially broken up? Who's that girl? Not as chio as his ex leh. His physical standards must have dropped. Then again, hasn't he been really close with W the last semester? Didn't W break up with his gf around the same time? Didn't they stay in PGP together? OMG THEY'RE GAY PARTNERS!

The power of stray tongues. Hm. Sense of nostalgia for the many times spent in that canteen, gossiping about the people we knew in our faculty, and their various travails, and the professors and how much we couldn't stand them for the lowly, undeserved marks they gave us. So long ago we indulged in those gossipy lunch moments before/after tutorials, and after most of them graduated, so quiet with only me and Candle. *Sigh*

At least the convo went off well. We did the usual trooping up on stage, got our empty scroll cases, [a metaphor for the quality of education received in NUS?] and that was it. We were graduated. Gee, not much ceremony in this ceremony. I think I preferred my own home party ceremony.

After that Candle and I went off to J8 to shop for groceries, I ordered pizza, and then back to home to prepare for party proper.

Seeing as this was the 1st time I combined my different cliques together, I must admit I was wondering if you guys would hit it off ok, though perhaps there was too many people to be able to interact ok. Represented were cliques from NUS, IJ and one solitary guy from JC.

Well, you all didn't kill or hate each other on sight, so I guess you all were all right. :p Either that or too stuffed with the junk food to do anything else. Pizza, chicken, [thanks to krynn and gammy] baked potatoes, chips, [thanks to krynn again, and sylveracyd] cake from coffee bean [doomo to yenn] and sweet secrets [gracias to slayer], and of course, the soft drinks and alcohol. [mine, mine ALL MINE! oh, and many thanks to krystal's grad gift of Absolut Vanilla. :D]

So many of you all woke up with bloated stomachs, hangovers and solemn promises never to do that again? Hahaha... I know last night was the closest I ever got to puking my guts out over drink. One more solid cocktail and I'd've been mopping up some disgusting glop from my own floor. Just what did I drink last night...? I was so off-balance last night, the world was about to start spinning in front of me, though I was still conscious of my actions. And no, I didn't sing a single tune.

But I realised one thing. The way to integrate different groups is to find the common factor in all of them, and draw them in using that. And last night, the common factor, alas, is moi. Hence, juls helped to draw everyone together with his much-dramatized version of Tab and the Louvre Guard. [which earned him some very painful pinches on his abdomen] Bleah. Talk about the stuff I have to go through to entertain you guys.

Thank goodness sylveracyd stayed back to help me clear up, cos by the end of the day, I was soooo saeh. We put away some stuff, threw dirty dishes into the sink, and generally made it look slightly tidy again. I couldn't handle a full clean up in the state I was, so we just made it look ok lah, something that I clean up when I was sober again.

Then went down to carpark to chat with her bf, again I provided much entertaining by abusing her bf in front of her. I don't even remember exactly why I was whacking him last night, just that feeling that it would be an amusing thing to do. After a while, he started to keep his distance from me, like about 6ft away. Forget about protection from his gf. She mostly sat there, watching the whole comedy and laughing away.

OMG, do I have some kinda sadistic streak when it comes to men? Chia lat... explains why i'm still single anyway...

And this morning I woke up [sober] and realised I have tons of food left behind in the form of chips, drink, alcohol, and sweets. Oh oh. I sense many caloried nights ahead of me... groan... I think I'll detox today with fruits and leave it all for later...

Out of the Big, Big, World...

This Tues, 13th July, NUS officially shits me out of its aNUS into that big, wide toilet bowl called THE WORLD.

Hm, how come I didn't think about that analogy when I was in school? Oh well...

The Dad has been dropping none-too-subtle hints about getting full-time ( legitimate ) employment. "Get a job!" It seems that CPF, full-time employment, benefits, a job title and an employer are all part of the process of growing up and that I won't be considered a productive ( and legitimate ) part of society if I don't get any of those.

Phooey. And don't tell me that getting a full-time job is more stable than my tuition, because I don't believe there's such a thing as a "stable and permanent" job anymore, esp after seeing my friends change jobs on a regular basis and get stuck in one monkey job after another.

Am I a sap, for walking a different path? Am I kidding myself? Or is everyone out there too stuck in a rut, to believe there are different ways to follow?

Maybe a bit of both. Wakarimasen. Zenbu wakarimasen.

I have reasons for not committing myself 9-5, but none, apparently, are enough to convince my family, or some of the people around me, of the validity of my actions.

What if I blame it all on some divine calling? Hahaha... people can understand messages from God...

Suffice to say, I had seriously strong feelings about not going into corporate employment from year 2, a feeling which intensified into year 3 and a half.

Some strong calling, some need to break free, something deep within, telling me, "It doesn't have to be like this"

The feeling was stronger in Stockholm. [you guys will read about this later in the europe blog, but I'll just say it here first...] We had rented a station wagon, and just left Turtle and Bunny Girl at his hostel. Now it was the 4 of us, racing through Sweden's highways, to get to Copenhagen.

Now the Swedish countryside is vastly different from the Malaysian one. You pass by wide fields of green that go on forever into the horizon, dotted by small towns, livestock, and the occassional windmill.

Not the Holland kinds, but towering, white ones with massive blades that spin slowly and steadily.

And while gazing at all these through the car window, I suddenly had the urge to not go back to Singapore.

Why go back? Stay here. Travel the continent. Go to Italy. Take the car, drive all the way into the sunset, and never look back again.

Wah, the feeling was so strong. For once in my life, the impossible ( and very crazy ) suddenly seemed possible ( and sane ). What would have gotten condemnation and looks of bewilderment back home suddenly seemed, well, all right.

Maybe it was then, that I really knew, just how many things could be done with one's life. Then I knew, and truly believed, that life was more than just what my parents had raised me to believe it was.

Maybe then, I really knew that I had to live differently.

Melodramatic, no? Have to say though, this Europe trip has been good for the soul in more ways than one. Better than Chicken Soup anyway. ;p

Only problem with this is that I'm gonna be broke for a long, long, loooong time, so if anyone strikes it rich out there, remember your poor, poor friend here...

----------------------------------------

Sat nite I went out with friends to entertain an old man, who paid for all of our entertainment, and sent me home through a very dark and lonely road.

Ok, jus kidding. :p It was our last Japanese lesson, and Eric-san, one of the few, and perhaps only, person we made friends with in our class, treated us to dinner. Probably as payment for all the notes, guidance and times he copied our shukudai during the year.

And what a dinner! At first, me and Yenn were hesitant, cos damn paiseh to let someone pay for us, and we didn't know how expensive/cheap a place we should choose. When we asked him to recommend a place, he threw the ball back at us. Not only that, he was willing to treat Quet as well, whom he didn't know.

Let me describe Eric-san a bit more: He's 37, works in a Japanese trading company and is married with a 19-month daughter. So don't get thinking that he asked us for any extra favours later on.

He also earns a fair bit of money, hence the very-ex-to-us-poor-folks choice of place, namely Crystal Jade restaurant at Taka. Phwah. Then coffee and cake at Spinelli's. Phwah phwah. Krynn, are u regretting not joining us on sat nite yet? :D

Jap test this Sat coming up. Ganbatte!

-----------------------------------------

Inspired by my trip, I also decided to try my hand at cooking again, real cooking, not the pop-contents-of-can-into-microwave kinda cooking that I've been doing during exam periods. So today made a pasta with sausages and onions and cheese that actually turned out edible. This is good progress. :p

The Paris leg of my trip will hopefully be uploaded sometime this week. I say hopefully 'cos I also have to study for jap, teach tuition, get through convo, scan in the photos and type in the trip. Eek. Something tells me I might be learning time management the hard way this week.

Yowza, I'm Back to Blog

Yupz, the cat is back, meow. :) Trip was good, and ended much too soon with too little seen. I woke up early this morning all groggy and saeh, and surprisingly, managed to ease back into Singaporean mode pretty easily, getting used again to the humidity, the heat, and all the Chinese. :p

Flew into Singapore yesterday at 11am, took MRT back and unpacked all my stuff, highly astounded at the amount of garbage I managed to bring back. Quet, I'm sorry, but I broke a zip on your bag. :p It's the back one that zips up the cover for the straps, so the bag can still be used. Then dropped off my pix at the studio, walked around J8 and got back home and zzzz........

Woke up today n went for my prata at AMK. Ah, how I missed thee ( or rather cheap breakfasts ) over there. Wait, I forgot the unpleasant surprise waiting for me. Apparently in 3 weeks, some cockroach/insect thingy built some kinda mound on a savings can near my bed. I broke the thing open over my toilet bowl and all these little eggs dropped into the loo. BLOODY HELL. BLOODY FUCKIN' HELL. I nearly had an invasion in my room. After that I carefully scrutinized everything else, and all seems to be clear.

Also just spent the entire afternoon going over my pix, scanning London and Paris in, and doing up a blog. Yes dearies, a blog for my European exploits, complete with pix. Warning though, the pix are big, so will take to load. London is up, so go read. The rest of the countries will come later. ;)

The Big Europe Trip

Replies to Tags:
Someone: I don't have a link, but you may be able to find it in the Straits Times website. Who the heck are you anyway??

On facial gathering: I'm definitely interested and of course my place is free for use. ;) Need a facial anyway, since Jordan's been snickering at my poor facial maintenance during the trip.

On NUS: Yup, bloody irritating. What, they think that you taking my invitation card is a big crime? OMG, call the police already.

Hey Hey...

That's how all the people in Stockholm say "Hi" apparently. They go "Hey hey" to each other. Cute huh? And the Swedish word for 'good' is "bra". I think one might have some problems saying that in Singapore...

Anyway, 2 days in Stockholm now, and it's COLD. This morning it started raining so now all of us have to bundle up good before we go out. The Swedish idea of "hot" is like our idea of "Really cold airconditioning". It's like 15deg here but Greg says it's considered hot here. Good grief.

The weather is also extremely dry, and Jordan's jar of vaseline has been in great demand. I've also been using lip balm like nobody's business. The advantage is that being so dry, you don't sweat, and you don't have to bathe as often. :p I've been bathing every other day and I wash my hair here every 2 days. When you go out, it's like walking in air-con most of the time, but pretty unpredictable. When the sun is shining, it's pretty warm, but when the wind blows, it's freezing cold... brrrrr

Yesterday Greg showed us some of the sights of Stockholm. The streets are full of the quaint, old-city charm that Paris has. The difference is that Paris is like an elegant noblewoman, but Stockholm is like a friendly fisherwoman. Well, fisherwoman because it's full of lakes and ports. When we exited the train station yesterday, the first sight that greeted us was a widespanning lake, blue sky and gulls flying overhead. The city also has a very relaxing air about it. The people don't rush, they're not kiasu, so though it's also a city area, the pace is more lax than Singapore is.

And we went SHOPPING!! Finally! Or rather, Sophia, Wiki and I went shopping, while the guys sat somewhere. :p THere's one shop where the 3 of us were shopping inside, while the 3 guys sat outside the shop in one bored row, with all the shopping bags full of groceries for the dinner. :p

Buskers are also pretty common in Stockholm. We passed by a couple of them, no, they probably don't need licenses, and they're very bra! If anyone needs to earn money, come to STockholm with your guitar and choose a street corner to perform... hahaha... Took some photos but will have to wait till I come back to Singapore.

Stockholm also has this scheme where you can recycle old bottles at the supermarket for rebates on your food. You insert the bottles into a machine, and it hands you a discount voucher. This has meant that Jordan has been going around rummaging in every rubbish bin we come across for bottles and cans that he can recycle for a few krona.... Macham like karang guni man lor... and putting it all in his bag while he walks around... good god...

Gotta admit though, for all the suanning I get from him, and his cheapo attitude :p, Jordan's a damn good cook. Dinner the past 2 nights has been totally orchestrated by him ( while yours truly who is culinarily challenged volunteered for wash duty ) and it's been fantastic. Last night we had really good spaghetti with meatballs, and tonight we had spare ribs with baked rice. Wah cow, best dinners we've had in Europe so far man...

One thing learnt from this: When choosing hostels to stay in Europe, it's important to choose one with kitchen facilities that one can use. :p

One of Greg's friend asked me whether I preferred Stockholm or Singapore, and I was totally stumped by the question. To be fair, both have their advantages. One is safe, convenient, and totally familiar to me. The other has beautiful scenery, and has a very slacker pace of life that I really like. :p When you're walking around in Stockholm, you don't feel like rushing. You feel like taking a nice stroll, enjoying the breeze, and the sound of the lake and its companion gulls. It's a totally beautiful and underrated city.

I guess both aren't too bad in their own way, but in terms of lifestyle and way of thinking, Stockholm has to win. They aren't as competitive and fast-paced as in Singapore and not as materialistic either. I guess I would like to live in Singapore, but have a Swedish way of thinking. :p

Bra, ain't it? :p

Hejsan!

That's Hello in Swedish, cos this blog entry is now coming to you courtesy of Turtle's com in Stockholm, where I am right now, being irritated by a bored Jordan. :p

Yes, I've made it through London and Paris just fine. Didn't get robbed/raped/mugged/kidnapped/murdered. London was great, and Paris was tres bien!! I've been keeping a journal in the time I'm here, so when I'm back in Singapore will try to type it all down.

Some brief notes:

London

- London is a very cosmopolitan and diverse city. All the pix you usually see of London, Big Ben, Westminster Abbey, etc, are only the old parts of it. In actual fact, it's a very mixed city. For example, in the city area itself, there are whites, blacks, Chinese, Indians and all sorts of people. If not for the blacks, you could almost think you were in Singapore. The people here we've seen also tend to be friendly to backpackers. Everyone we asked for directions was very friendly and willing to help.
- Architecture wise it's also very diverse. In Singapore, all the buildings look the same. In London, the design of the building differs from one building to the other. You can walk by an olden house, then pass by a futuristic building, turn the corner and see something Shakespeare could have lived in.
- Food, transport and everything else is BLOODY EXPENSIVE. You look at the price and think, "Hey, it's alright." until you multiply it by 3 to get the Singaporean equivalent. WAH FREAKIN' LAU LOR. ( Erm, Slayer, it's also because of this that I only managed to get you 2 postcards from London n Paris. Sorry... )
- Transport, though, is really easy. We just got a day pass and sat double decker everywhere.
Interesting incident: Me, Jordan, Sophia and Juls got harassed one night by this weirdo as we were walking down the street. He basically just followed us, shouting at us stuff like "I hate Chinese" and then after a while he disappeared. Well, it depends on your definition of "interesting" I guess.

Paris

- Quaint. My first thought on Paris is "Quaint". Where London is diverse and cosmopolitan, Paris has a lot of old-city charm. The buildings there look as if they've been through the Revolution, and none of them seem to have been through any renovations since then. Despite this, it's a very charming, romantic old city. Just too bad that I had to tour it with one attached Turtle, 1 disgusting Polar Bear and his irritating friend.
- Once again, food is ex in Singaporean terms. Bleah. And not as convenient also. In London, we could head to the nearest supermarket to buy cookies and stuff but in Paris there weren't so many of them around. There are tons of bakeries though, so no problems with breads or buns. Transport is easy, because it costs a flat fee to go to any station in Paris, so you just buy the one way ticket and ride the Metro.
Interesting incident: I got HIT ON by this security guard in the Louvre of all places! EWWW! He was OLD and shorter than me some more! Came to me and talked a bit and asked if I wanted coffee, and I just went "Non, non non..." Ew. Ew. Ew. And now because of that Jordan keeps referring to me as "hot chick" which naturally gets him pinched in the side......

Stockholm

Er, what to write? All I've seen is the bus station and Turtle's hostel. :p But Swedes are generally tall, blonde, and ooh, very good looking. Hahaha...

Ok, that's all for now till I come back to Singapore. Quet, Yenn, I read through your blogs liao and saw the photos. CONGRATS TO YENN ON BEING A FREE WOMAN ONCE MORE! Free from the bonds of slavery! Quet, your photos are MARVELLOUS! Can't wait to get back and tell you all about the rest of my trip! Till then,

Hej Da! ( Good bye in Swedish )

So Long, And Thanks For All The Crap

Ah... ah...

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
My luggage's dumped near my front door
I'm blogging now, just to say goodbye

But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn
I don't have time to finish my song
Already I'm so crappy I could die

So see me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
To come back, then to the pub we'll go

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
It's 3 weeks when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I have to go

There's so many times I've crapped around
So many people I've suanned around
I'll tell you now, they don't mean a thing
[cos I was talking rubbish]

Every place I go, I'll think of you [all]
Every pic I take, I'll take for you [all]
When I come back I'll upload everything [into my blog......]

So see me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
To come back and all my pix I'll show...

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
It's 3 weeks when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I have to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time, oh, let me blog here
And close your eyes and I'll be on my way

Dream about the days to come
When I'll be able to blog once more
About the times that I won't have to say ...

Oh, see me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
To come back and shop and eat again....

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
It's 3 weeks when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I have to go......

I'm leaving on a jet plane
Leaving on a jet plane
Leaving on a jet plane
[fades]

and now I declare this blog

TEMPORARILY CLOSED

Owner on holiday 14 Jun - 6 Jul
[What, like you din know already??]

Next potential update: 25 Jun
[When I'm in Stockholm and if I'm able to hijack Turtle's Internet connection]

Seeya guys.....

Post Departure Blues

It's about 21 more hours till I depart and now I'm suffering from some kinda post-depart-blues.

Has anyone read/saw the book/movie 25 hours? It's about the last 25 hours a guy spends in the city of New York before he has to go to jail. All throughout the book, the guy notices lots of small details about the city that he never noticed before. It's like he has this one last chance to take in everything before he loses it all. The writer also describes all these things in intimate detail, so we can imagine how the main character would feel, looking at these sights he took for granted before, for the last time.

In some weird way, I kinda empathize with that. My last few days in Singapore, I've been going around thinking, "This is the last time [for 3 weeks] I'm gonna be walking around here. This is the last time [for 3 weeks] I'm gonna be doing this. This is the... Ah screw this!!!"

Maybe it's because this is gonna be the first time in about 10 years [yes, it's been that long] that I'm going to leave Singapore for more than a week. Before this, it was all little holidays to Malaysia, [lots of those] once to China, once to Jakarta, but always Asian countries. Yellow skin and black hair. Chinese, Malay, some Hokkien, always something familiar in the background.

Now it's the Land of the Ang Mohs. Now I'm the odd one out. Sigh.

So I've been going around like the condemned man, trying to take in all my familiar sights for the last time, [for 3 weeks] trying to remember what everything looks like, eating the food I know I can't get there... weird, that for a holiday, I'm acting a little like a condemned person.

Oh God, I'll miss everything. Me bed. Me bolster. Me radio. Me handphone. Me comics. Me books. Me prata. Me Indian rojak. Me blog. And of course, me Frenz. ;)

Going home at 12am and knowing that nothing will happen to me on the way. Walking around Orchard Road knowing that the chances of me getting pickpocketed is that little. Carelessly throwing my handphone into my bag. The greenery. The fresh air. The familiarity of it all.

Who was it who said you had to lose something in order to know just how much you loved it?

And not to mention, MY PARENTS AREN'T EVEN SEEING ME OFF!!!!! They had this idea that I was leaving on Tuesday and they made plans!!! I was like, "Huh? Ok lor." and called jcsz to enquire about space on his car to the airport. Then later my father comes around and tells me that maybe he'll see me off, and "Huh?" I'd already called jcsz! So he goes, "Ok lor, then you go with your friend lor."

ARGH!!!!! MEN!! BLOCKS! BLOCKS ALL OF THEM! [That includes YOU and I think you know who you are!] It just FIGURES that they're the ones who SUCK at the body-language reading [as evidenced by a book Candle and I were browsing through] and the emotion reading part! Of COURSE I want you to fetch me there! Chris'sakes, your only daughter is leaving the country for 3 weeks without you lor! You gonna just let her go without even knowing WHO she's going with???

I donno whether to take that as a sign of their trust in me abilities, or their lack of concern. "Hey, she's gone before and come back alright." Grr.

Ok, I'm definitely entering PMS mode. And about to fly off somemore. Damn. Need chocolate to stabilize.

Or alcohol would be good too. Hmmm......

Nah, I'll stick to good ol' humour.

Another song to add to our spoof collection:

Leaving on a Jet Plane

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go
My luggage's dumped near my front door
I'm blogging now, just to say goodbye

But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn
I don't have time to finish my song
Already I'm so crappy I could die

So see me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
To come back, then to the pub we'll go

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
It's 3 weeks when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I have to go

There's so many times I've crapped around
So many people I've suanned around
I'll tell you now, they don't mean a thing
[cos I was talking rubbish]

Every place I go, I think of you [all]
Every pic I take, I'll take for you [all]
When I come back I'll upload everything [into my blog......]

So see me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
To come back and all my pix I'll show...

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
It's 3 weeks when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I have to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time, oh, let me blog here
And close your eyes and I'll be on my way

Dream about the days to come
When I will be able to blog once more
About the times that I won't have to say ...

Oh, see me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
To come back and shop and eat again....

'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
It's 3 weeks when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I have to go......