Anyway, the inspiration for this post came one night during Jap class... I might have been in the wrong phase of my menstrual cycle then, but here goes...
Let's talk about...
The question put to the class that night was "kekkonshita toki, nani o kaemasu ka?", roughly translated as "What changes after one gets married?"
Common replies were "namae" [name], "uchi" [house], [other answers greatly limited by our lack of proficiency in Japanese].
I had to come up with an answer that stunned Krynn and Yenn. "Sex Life". [sorry, but I don't know what's the Jap term for that. :p ]
Well, like, YEA! Of all the most drastic changes you could do to yourself after marriage, the sex would be a part of it wouldn't it? [Assuming you and your spouse actually get it going on, that is...]
Ok, lemme show you what I mean by comparing the different kinds of changes after marriage:
House - Merely a sharing of physical space. You get a flat together, you clash over interior decoration issues, you wonder what furniture to get. Big deal. Sounds like moving into a hostel with a roommate.
Name - [for women] Yawn. The only discernible differences brought by a change in name would only be seen if you had to fill in government forms. Other things you can still get by with your maiden name if you still wanted to. Some ladies even keep their maiden names by latching them together with their husbands'. Eg, Mrs Lee-Tan, Mrs Wee-Tan.
Sharing of other assets - See house. Once again, it's like sharing stuff with your roommate.
Kids - only come after the One Big Change, which is....
Before you were married, when you were still single, or just into a relationship, this was THE forbidden fruit, that parents encouraged their kids [mainly the daughters] to keep, preserve, cherish and defend to the death. In Singapore's legal system, sex with an underage minor is considered statutory rape, WHETHER OR NOT the sex was consensual in the first place.
So the message to kids is clear. [whether or not they choose to heed it is another thing altogether , of course] Virginity is something to be preserved at all costs, and to lose it is to almost commit a crime, by Singapore's standards. Sex is a big no, no, NO at their age.
[Note: However, the law is noticeably biased towards men. An adult man who has sex with an underage girl faces jail. An adult woman who has sex with an underage boy gets by with the legal equivalent of a slap on the wrist.]
Even when you grow up, and say you're in your 20s, premarital sex is still something that is very much frowned upon. Most of you at this point might snort indignantly, grin cynically, or maybe blush furiously, [?] but the fact remains that. Premarital sex, no matter how common, no matter how much more socially acceptable, no matter how much it's been blasted on the TV, movies or the Internet, still has a tinge of forbiddenness in it. Even if you indulge in it, you may still get a small, nagging feeling at the back of your mind, saying you're doing something WRONG.
It may come across as an old-fashioned sentiment, but what do you expect? It's a message that has been passed down by generations of parents before us, and is not likely to die down in our generation. [which of course makes you wonder, how many generations before us also didn't listen to their parents and went and did it anyway, and then ended up telling their kids not to do it? Gee, why didn't we listen the first time around already?]
But I digress. The main message is clear: Preserve thy virginity. Do not fuck.
THEN after you get married, what happens?
Suddenly EVERYONE'S interested in your sex life. Did you do it? Are you doing it? How often are you doing it? Do you enjoy it? Do you like it? Does it hurt? Blardy hell. Last time parents tell me cannot do, cannot do, now they want me to do and do and do until I repopulate half the world?
So when you're young, the message is that you are never to do it. Then, after you get married, you aren't only told to do it, you're heavily encouraged, and your mother-in-law might even give you some special herbs to 'make him go faster' *wink wink wink*, or for you to take 'during some times of the month' *wink wink wink again* All for the sake of carrying their next crying, bawling generation in their arms.
So tell me, is there another more major change after marriage? *wink wink wink*
Edit: After I wrote the above post, I came across the following article in Tomorrow.sg Read and enjoy. :)
SillyCelly's guide to O-Heaven