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Thursday, April 07, 2016

Creative Fatigue

Sometimes you think something is so difficult. And sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't.

Like today. I had originally intended (in good faith, I swear) to head to the gym after work. I had packed my gym gear the night before and I was even looking forward to it.

After the end of today's work, I only wanted to go to my bed. I told myself, I will just go! If I just make myself go maybe I can do it!

I managed as far as Plaza Sing, and then I headed to the foot reflexology centre where mercifully they had a space. I took it as divine intention and I enjoyed one hour having my calves kneaded.

I suppose I didn't foresee just how tired I would be. I had forgotten that I was supposed to stay back to help in a cleaning exercise and the heat of the afternoon did not help at all. I don't think I have ever refilled my waterbottle so many times in a day. Of course, by the end of the day, I would have no energy to exercise.

Even if I like to think of it as divine intention......

I took my dinner there and I went home and took a good shower. Then I went to my study and looked at my journals.

Something funny happened. I thought I was tired. I knew I was tired. I had already admitted through the act of foot reflexology that I was tired. Yet, I took up the art journal I had not finished from last month and I stared at the blank page for a while. 

And I then I drew. 

Something funny about fatigue. If you are that into something, fatigue takes a back seat and a form of creative energy seems to take over. I've encountered this before, where I became so wholly engrossed in what I was doing that by the time I finished, I was physically tired, hungry despite having not moved from my chair for the entire duration. It's like suddenly, there was a goal to reach, it was within my grasp and I knew what to do and so without thinking too much about being tired, I did it. 

Of course, once I was done I felt the exhaustion again. But at least this time, I had something to show for it at last. Besides well-kneaded calves.

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