Helping Tenderheart do some research for her thesis, and starting to remember what a total nightmare the whole process is. You log into the digital library, select a database, key in the stuff you're looking for and then......

The database unrolls a bunch of stuff in front of you that you never asked for, and you curse the blindly-thinking algorithms behind all this. Or worse, nothing comes out and you have to keep searching frantically trying every combination of words you can think of into the search engine.

*Sigh*

Anyway, to entertain you guys, [and to Candle, trying to brush up her English] here from the Back Page of 8 Days...

English Writing Rules to Drive You Mad

1. Never use a big word where a diminutive alternative would suffice.

2. Always avoid alliteration.

3. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.

4. Avoid cliches like the plague - They're old hat.

5. Don't use commas, that, are not, necessary.

6. Don not use a foreignn word when there is an adequate English quid pro quo

7. One should never generalise.

8. Be more or less specific.

9. Use youre spell checker to avoid mispalling and to catch typograhpical errers.

10. Avoid, poofread carefully to see if you any words out

11. Don't use abbreviations, etc.

12. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.

13. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.

14. Contractions aren't necessary.

15. Who needs rhetorical questions?

More in next week's 8Days....