Oh, let me drown in a cup of milkshakes and marshmallows.

I had initially planned writing a thought-provoking blog post about how risky a venture child-rearing was, but I realised I was just too tired to do it.

Yes, I know my jobload is light, when compared to some of my compadres in the private sector, but that has not stopped the tolls of stress on me.

Persistent thoughts of work, all the way to the last few minutes before sleep resulted in increasing degrees of insomnia. Insomnia led to tiredness in the morning, no small joke when you consider what time I have to wake up. A quickening of adrenaline upon reaching work [possibly psychologically induced] leads to sheer fatigue at the end of the day, which lasts for weeks and weeks. Short-temperedness and irration follows. A vein starts throbbing at the back of your head, making you wary of impending migraines.

Past a certain point you just feel very, very tired with life. I miss the quiet times in an afternoon, where I could sit somewhere comfortable, drink a good cup of tea, and read a good book, and do nothing else for the day. In these times, such moments of solitude appear far and rare in between.

At least my job still leaves me scope for this, if I am willing to sacrifice some things. I'm trying to give myself more 'me' time these days to stop myself getting more tension headaches and potential fat, by leaving work a little earlier, sleeping more during the afternoons, or simply spending more time in the libraries. I think I've officially passed the energetics of the early twenties, and possibly now heading towards the sedateness of the late twenties and the early 30s.

Urgh. Get me my walking stick next.

KL was quite alright, but a few things happened to almost throw all the plans astray.

- Quetz almost didn't make it, only able to leave late in the evening, and arriving in KL at around 2am.

- I got migraines due [probably] to dehydration. I got it on the trip there, and conked out the first night early, at around 8. The next day, the migraine continued [duh] and after a day of shopping, and a massage, I conked out again, at 8! I missed out on good dinners and good suppers on both nights. :( the only consolation is that I also missed out on the calories for those meals. :p

- A queensized bed is too small for 3 women. 'Nuff said.

Although all things considered, as we were driving down the highway, it dawned on me how many times in my life I had been in this same situation. Juls driving, me passenger, zooming down a highway to who-knows-where. At the same time, it also dawned on me how much I liked it. [sigh] How long can I continue to do this backpacking, roadtripping thing, I wonder?

Note: I'll be heading to KL today with Juls, Yenn and Quetz over the weekend, on a trip that has been plagued one way or another.

First, all of us forgot to book hotels, leaving Juls to make a last minute call about, oh, yesterday. -_-!!!

Then it turned out that Juls would be detained in Singapore for some biz, delaying our departure time from morning to afternoon. This also caused Candle to back out, becoz of the possibility that we would be stuck in Singapore.

The last one just hit us today. Quetz remembered too late that she had an appointment at work that couldn't be postponed. -_-!!! She'll be taking the bus down herself in the evening and reaching KL at late night.

The bright side? I always have the unverifiable hypothesis that if all the bad luck happens at the start of the trip, it'll take away the bad luck that was supposed to hit us during the trip. Let's just hope this hypothesis doesn't fail me now. :S Or if it does, well, at least I'm only in KL..........

Anyway, I went to NDP last night with the DF.

( The Slayer has also blogged quite a bit about NDP, complete with better photos than mine, so I'll leave it at that for now. :p [But you were sitting in the same sector in front of me, I think. I recognized the dancing lobster!] )

Security was tight, from the moment you walked through the metal detectors, through to the Esplanade area itself. Heck, in lieu of the recent hairgel-ipod bombing, they even wanted to check all the liquids we had! Which meant the DF being detained for a good time, while they opened the 4 bottles of juice and drinks we had bought along. -_-!!!







The crowd at about 4pm. We managed to watch some pre-parade concert, which consisted of singers from all 4 races, [as politically correct as possible] singing songs from the complimentary NDP CD.







Hands Up! Some guys in uniform put on a military display. This was made interesting by the uncle in pink, who later on proceeded to poke his finger into the rifle butt. [Some photos you just regret not taking]






The crowd after sunset starts to take out their star lights and the stadium is transformed into a sparkling sea of lights.







And then what every Singaporean is really waiting for...

Fireworks!













Other than that, the celebrations were, *shrug* all right. They actually reminded me of the dance shows put on by North Korea, but still all right. The bag was probably the main draw of the event. [DF got me a red one!] It came packed with so much stuff, that DF and I agreed that the economy must be doing better than we thought. :s

Included:
- 2 bottles of Newater, peanuts and 1 pack of sour cream and onion chives
- 1 cheesy Osim animal hat
- the blinking star light
- a mini flag to put on your desk
- an official NDP07 soundtrack
- a trash bag and sticker. The sticker came with a lucky draw number and what you had to do was stick it onto the trash bag with your trash and you were eligible for a lucky draw. I have to admit, I didn't see this in the bag at first, so I was pretty impressed with the way all the trash was cleared so conscientiously by us Singaporeans until I found the lucky draw sticker. Sigh........

But the main draw for me is still.......... the bag. :p

It was a good NDP anyway, and it's pretty cool to be able to tell my kids that I was there on the first River parade, and no, the stage didn't sink.. :p Let's look to more years of independence, and great goodie bags!













Happy National Day!

If Singapore was a person......



I first saw this in the Miyagi blog and am pasting it here 'cos Irene Ang is a fantastic comedic actress, and the whole dialogue is just... plain funny. :p Happy National Day.

What if Singapore was personified anyway? I think......

1. He would be a bespectacled middle-class white collar civil servant.

2. Who would grumble if he had to work past 6, and mumble that upper management better give him his overtime pay in the next month's salary.

3. He would work hard for his monthly salary, but discourage others from 'taking risks' or 'doing sales' because it's 'very hard to earn money'.

4. He dutifully goes to work on time, and leaves at 6 [unless he had to work OT] in time to eat dinner with his family and watch Ch 8 dramas.

5. 'Holiday' in his vocabulary is synonymous with 'package tour'. [my personal gripe] Any other kind of holiday to destinations outside of tour package destinations are 'dangerous'.

6. He'd shake his head disapprovingly at any one else who does things differently from he does, because they're all suicidal.

That's Singapore as I see it. How about you?

The Great Greek Adventure - Part 3: The weird, the wonderful and the beautiful

A series of miscellaneous pix taken in Greece, because we were either amused or awestruck.




1. Recycling station. Hand in your old plastic bottles and receive rebates in your bank account. We could use one of these in Singapore. God knows we use enough mineral water bottles.







2. A Greek kacang puteh stall.




3. Roadside stalls: I like roadside stalls. Most of the time, people sell stuff or do stuff that you won't see in regular shopping centres, and to me it's like a visual buffet for the eyes. I just can't stop looking.

This guy, for instance, made these tree sculptures out of wire. He was sitting by the side of the pavement twisting a roll of wire into a winter-struck tree. [no leaves] And if you looked closely, you could even see a little nest twisted into one of the branches!





Look for the nest. [my apologies if they come out sideways. I already rotated them but I don't know why they came out in Blogger like this]

Each tree takes him about 3-4 hours to make, so you gotta admire the patience in this. :p






4. You gotta love bubbles. Everybody loves bubbles.








5. Close friends and acquaintances will know why I find taxi licence plates in Greece so amusing.






6. Do not buy pirated fake watches in Kusadasi, Turkey. Only go for the genuine fake merchandise. Respect the copyright of the pirated merchandise.




Final thoughts:

For every photo that you've seen of Greece on this blog, there are about 30 that you haven't, which I can't put on this blog because the loading will just kill it. The same way, I cannot do a file transfer of all the feelings, emotions, experiences that I went through on this much-too-short journey to Athens.



How to show you the majesty of their ruins and the history they have buried?










The sunsets we saw?







And all these other, little quirky sights that we could only snap in a moment, or let it be lost forever?





It's hard. It's one of those things, where you had to be there.

And everytime I look at my pictures again,



I just wish I was there again.

Someone has called me a sheep *meh* for buying an i-pod.

Because I'm buying a product coveted by apparently half the world, and hence confirming my conformist status. Soon I'll be buying a diamond ring, a house, a car, having kids, blah blah blah.... and walking in line with the rest of the sheep -_-!!!!!

First, ye gods, all I bought was a freakin' MP3 player to play music..............

Secondly, I'm conforming by buying an i-pod like everyone else. But if I'm buying to satifsy my individual needs of music, then doesn't that make me a non-conformist, because I'm putting my individual needs over societal status?

And if I'm refusing to non-conform by conforming to the crowd, does that by default make me a non-conformist among the non-conformist crowd?

(@_@) Yea, I'm twisting words around to make an argument (^_^) But anyway since by default everything we buy - handphones, jeans, t-shirts, Harry Potter books even, [btw was blase about the movie, eagerly waiting the book] - makes us a conformist one way or another, I'm not sure why you even made that statement to me. :p Heh heh heh...... (^_^)

Oh no! I used a conformist smiley! (^haha^)

I danced with the devil in the pale blue light

But all he offered me were empty promises

Word and deed as insubstantial as air

Yearning my soul to be saved

Then his light was cast upon me

And I tasted sweet salvation at last

Now I dance to a different light

More brilliant and technicolour than before

And I pray that my feet keep dancing

To the tunes from this:

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Meet Shiroi Version 2.0
[30GB and comes with FM transmitter at a price of 436]

[ok, how many of you out there thought I suddenly had a blast of religious fanaticism?]

After banning sharp items, flammables and your 800ml bottle of shampoo on board flights, now airline authorities have a new item to consider on the list of dangerous items:

Apparently now, you can make a highly dangerous weapon using newspapers. They call it the Millwall Brick:

Newspapers were rolled up tightly to form the so-called Millwall Brick and another trick was to make a knuckleduster out of pennies held in place by a wrapped around paper. You could hardly be pulled up for having a bit of loose change in your pocket and a Daily Mirror under your arm.^[4]

Read more on Wikipedia

And here are more innocuous everyday items that are potentially life-threatening in the wrong hands:

• Clothing accessories (belts or scarves for choking, walking sticks, umbrellas, finger rings (used as knuckle-dusters), steel-toed boots, chain-wallets, spike bands. shoe laces and belts can also be used as an improvised whip, a common form of domestic abuse, unlikely, but not impossible, that one would have enough time to remove it in an actual fight)
• Musical instruments (cymbals, drum sticks, piano wires (for strangulation), guitars or any stringed instrument with a long neck)
• Cleaning and janitorial equipment (broom/mop sticks, plunger handles, dust pans, squeegees, long thick handled brushes, litter sticks

Now that I've posted this up, I hope I don't get ISA pple knocking on my door to 'politely' ask me a few questions................

Mingle² - Free Online Dating

http://boredslacker.blogspot.com is hereby rated suitable for children and adults of all ages, regardless of whether you think the author of this blog is suitable company for your kids.

The Great Greek Adventure Part 2 - Chompin' away!

Let's get down to some of what Singaporeans are most interested in when in a foreign country, namely, the food.

The food there is actually pretty healthy, what with the Greek salad and just about everything else fried and slathered generously with olive oil. [one of their main exports] In one week, I think I ate more veg than I ever did in Singapore in a month, because almost everything was so fresh and good.

This is only applicable to the real Greek food, though, and not MacDonald's, Starbucks, or other dubious Chinese restaurants on other holiday islands. [attesting to the level of openness of the Greek economy]

The ironic thing is that in Greece, the most common junk food you'll find comes from Turkey:


Meet the humble slovaki. A piece of pita bread wrapped around lettuce, tomato, chicken [or beef, or pork] and yoghurt sauce. This is the local 'junk food', as referred to by a local we asked for directions. Anyway, in Syntagma Square, this is a pretty decent place to buy some slovakis:


Yes, it even looks like a fast food chain.

The islands were where we got our taste of Greek seafood, all salted with the sea.

Some of the places we ate at:

Patmos: Pantelis Tavern



This place was recommended by Lonely Planet, and by now, my motto is "Always Listen to Lonely Planet". Because this was a great place to eat!

The food came fast, and hot and the ambience of the place was great. Patmos being a small island, the town wasn't crowded at all and we had an outdoor table. It was a great place to sit, eat, stone and wish you weren't going back to work the next week.


Ok u see these? They look good? It was salty as the sea which the octopus came from. :S I could still eat them, but I ended up downing gallons of water while doing so. -_-!! Still I ate some of the best calamari rings I ever did. :D


Athens: Diros Restaurant



We were brought here by friends, and if you're looking for authentic Greek food, this is a great place to check out.

If I remembered the address, that is. -_-!!!!!

This is my favourite dish in Athens: Moussaka. A lasagna style dish made with potatoes and eggplants. Now you all know why I like it so much. :p



Rhodes: Very Special Greek Salad

I had to type that cos I wasn't sure of the name of the place... Bleah...

On Rhodes, we had driven to Petaloudes, which was supposed to be a butterfly sanctuary, obviously to see, well, butterflies.

We ended up walking through a Bukit Timah-style trail and seeing 2 moths. -_-!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The uplifting part about it was discovering this place at the top of the sanctuary:

She was selling what she dubbed 'the best orange juice in Greece' on top of the hill, so why not buy a glass and chat with the lady? Not to mention after climbing a hill for 30 minutes, ANY orange juice would have tasted good. :p

But she did have some other good stuff there:

Our entire meal

Loumades - Doughballs covered in a sweet sauce. Great dessert.


This really is the BEST Greek salad I ate there. The sauce is perfect for dunking your bread in, and its chockful of onions and tomatoes and sprinkled generously with olive oil.

But no goat cheese for me, sorry.

Actually, if you like your seafood and your carbs, Greece could be just right for you. Every meal came with bread and olive oil, a la Cafe Cartel, [but no free flow] and the calamari rings were always cooked just right, fried nicely to a crisp. I also loved the fried potatoes, chunks of cut potato, [NOT the processed wedge or crinkle fries, REAL potatoes] fried in olive oil, which I'm pretty sure I'll never see selling anywhere in Singapore. -_-!!!!

Even the salads tasted good. I'm not sure whether its due to the olive oil, or whether the veg really tasted fresher there, [as sworn by Irene, who bought a handful of cucumbers!] but damn, I never thought I'd say this about a salad, but they were good. :p

Oh, and sorry for the lack of photos for this salivating post. We ate up a lot of meals before we realised we had to take photos. >D

Due to the bucketfuls of experiences we had over in Athens, the only way to tell you all about it is to divide it into sections, so here goes Part 1...

**WARNING: picture heavy blog post!

The Great Greek Adventure 1 - Ruin Fatigue

We touched down at Athens Airport on a bright and sunny Sunday afternoon.
Greece is famous most for the rich wealth of myth and legends it gave birth to. Lots of us would remember names like Zeus, Hera, Hercules, Icarus and so on. We also remember the historical figures like Odysseus, Homer, Socrates, Plato and so on. We also remember the Hollywood stars like Brad Pitt who made Troy famous, and the movie 300 for making Leonidas famous. :p

So in my opinion, a trip to Greece is all about its myth, its history and thus, that means scampering a bunch of rubble that used to be somebody's palace.


Marble rubble that presumably used to be something

It makes one feel like Indiana Jones. Except that I never got hit by rolling boulders or chased by angry swordsmen or Nazi soldiers. -_-!!! Which leaves me that much more time and leisure to explore the ruins left behind by the great Greek civilisation.

The most famous of all, of course, being the Parthenon, located in the middle of the Acropolis...

Now the Parthenon used to be one of the most important buildings in Athens, so in ancient civilisations, the most important buildings have to kept safe from enemies, right? And what better way to keep it safe, than to build it on the highest damn hill you can find in Athens.


Argh! Bloddy high!!

So after a gruelling half n hour trek, we finally make it up to the Acropolis.


Some of the best marble flooring you will get in Athens

Magnificent views you will get up there, though, when you finally make it up... The Parthenon itself is famous for the optical illusion employed in its construction to make it look more regal and grand than it would have been.

Notice how it seems to be leaning away from you? That's not an effect by the camera, it's partly because of the architecural illusion as well.
Damn, those ancient Greeks were blardy smart......

Another set of ruins that were interesting were those at Ephesus, in Kusadasi, Turkey.

Brief history lesson: Before the sea receded several miles inland, Ephesus was actually an important harbour town, with thousands of people living in it, temples, bathhouses, and even a grand library and theatre, where St Paul was supposed to have preached.

Which of course all disappeared when the sea went away, cause what point is a seaside town without, er, a sea?? After a long while, the town became buried in sand until rediscovered.

And what ruins they discovered!


Ancient mosaic floor
Ancient engraving, wonderfully preserved
Ancient shops, after a highly anticipated ancient sale


Our guide demonstrates the use of an ancient public toilet, not that it needed much explaining

The most magnificent structures, though, had to be the library and the theatre.
The library, or the front facade that was left. Many people complained that they weren't able to find the book they wanted.
Quetzal preaches to an enthusiastic audience in the ancient theatre

Other ruins visited were the Palace at Knossos, on Crete, and the Temple of Poseidon, on Cape Sounion, mainland Greece, but these 2 were the most remarkable of the lot, because of the cultural importance of the structure, [Parthenon, Acropolis] and the amount that has been preserved [Ephesus].

If ever you visit Greece, or Kusadasi, Turkey, I highly recommend these two to visit.

Things NOT to do when visiting ruins:

1. Smoke, use aerosol sprays, or use other ozone-unfriendly products

The Parthenon is slowly being corroded due to acid rain falling on the structure. Since presumably the ancient Greeks did not use hair spray, their structures are thus not designed to withstand such environmental corrosion. Save the Past. Be green.

2. Do some decorating of your own
You may not agree with the decor scheme of the ancients. Nevermind about it. This structure has lasted longer than 200 generations of your family. HAVE SOME RESPECT!!!

3. Block other people's photo taking.


ARGH!!! Always look around first to make sure you aren't blocking other people's cameras. Your rump isn't so photogenic that I just have to have it in my photo. -_-!!!

Ok that's all for the ruins, because towards the end of the trip, Jules and Quet declared 'Ruin Fatigue', being, the viewing of too many piles of rock already. ^_^!!! More next time on Greece if I find the time!

The Great Greek Adventure

I'm back!

The trip was great, but made us want to stay longer just to see more stuff :p Some statistics:

We saw temples, monasteries, ruins, ruins and more ruins. [Leading to Ruin Fatigue in some of us] We saw beaches made from black pebbles, a town on the top of a dormant volcano, and some of the most beautifully photogenic scenery ever.

We did tons of shopping, buying t-shirts, dresses, greek tops, bags, shoes, paintings, 'evil eyes', apple tea, beads, 1 bottle of sweet Greek wine, and were even tempted into almost buying turkish carpets, only put off by the cost.

We also almost sold Jules for 60euro to some greek guy, who in turn offered us 100euro for Quet. ^_^!!

We sat the surburban railway, the metro, buses, one cruise ship, 2 rental cars, one cable car, and a donkey at one point of time. ^_^!!!!!

We got lost numerous times, were fascinated at first by the GPS, only to become increasingly frustrated with programming the damn thing. We also near missed an entire cruise ship at 2 points of time, arriving extremely late onto the ship. ^_^!!!!!!!!

We ate bread, bread and more bread with olive oil, turkish kebabs known as souvlaki, [meat, yoghurt sauce, veg and onions all wrapped in a pita skin] greek salad with some very fresh veg and very good olive oil, great calamari, fried exactly to a crisp, moussaka, [lasagna with potatos and eggplant instead of pasta] drank some of the best orange juice in Greece, and octopus tentacles soaked in a thick, vinegary soup.

We had The Great Greek Adventure. And we won't mind doing another Adventure all over again. ^_^

[More detailed blogging and pix would have to come later. Still editing and uploading]

All my bags are packed......

At 6, to Australia
- One or two books in a small bag. [all luggage handled by parents]

At 16, package tour to Beijing
- Necessities [clothes, underwear, towel, shampoo, body foam, toothbrush and paste]
- Winter jacket
- Camera
- Few rolls of film
- Books for handluggage

At 20, Redang Island, KL and Taman Negara with friends
- Necessities [clothes, underwear, towel, shampoo, body foam, facial foam, toothbrush and paste]
- Camera
- A roll of film
- Swimsuit
- Guitar scores [Redang]
- Food and water [Taman]

At 21, across Europe [rather than carry tons of luggage around, I chose to go light]
- Necessities [clothes, underwear, towel, shampoo, body foam, facial foam, body moisturizer, toothbrush and paste, foot deodoriser, travel detergent]
- Camera
- 7 rolls of film
- Travel Journal + pens
- Medicinal pouch [po chai pills, tiger oil, plaster]
- Jacket
- Poker cards + notepad as boredom busters

Now, at 26, just before going to Athens,
- Necessities [clothes, underwear, towel, shampoo, body foam, facial foam, body moisturizer, face moisturizer, leave-in conditioner, toothbrush and paste, foot deodoriser]
- Camera kit: Camera, charger and SD card
- Travel Journal + pens
- Medicinal pouch [po chai pills, plaster]
- Jacket
- Travel pillow
- Boredom busters:
1 Lonely Planet Athens,
1 Lonely Planet Greek Islands,
101 places NOT to visit [to read],
and 1 Little Book of Sudoku
- And the poker cards
Plus:
- Umbrella [due to reports of rain]
- Flip flops [see above]
- Swimsuit [for possibility of sunshine]

And I haven't counted in the other assorted stuff I may pick up along the way -_-!!! Seems to me that as you grow older, the things in your luggage seem to increase at an exponential rate.........

ATHENS: 9th June to 16 June 2007

There is a certain beauty in impermanence, I realised.

Before you read this blog post, I want you to try a little experiment.

Take a camera, any camera. It can be film, digital or handphone. Find something interesting happening in the area around you. [or heck, if there really is nothing, focus on something trivial, like the potted plastic plant.]

Now, take a picture of that interesting thing. But at the same time that you do it, keep one eye on the viewfinder, and one eye on the actual event. Then take a picture.

Can you do it? I realised that it's very difficult to do so, because my eyes were taking in two different perspectives of the same image. The information that goes to your brain is that of 2 different things, the image of the thing itself, and the image on the viewfinder. Since your eyes usually combine information received from both eyeballs in order to process imagery, you will most likely see a jumble of 2 strangely similar, yet different images of the same thing.

Still with me so far? Good.

Why this has suddenly inspired a blog post is because of the number of pictures that I've been taking on the handphone and on Kenny. I was at the opening event of the Arts Fest, taking pictures of the acrobatics and I realised how 'bent' my vision was.

You see, although I was watching the event, I was only experiencing, in fact, a poor visual substitute of it on Kenny's LCD screen. Like, come on! This fantastic acrobatic display was happening right before my very eyes, and I was watching it through a 2.5 inch LCD screen when i could have been seeing it in real, unadulterated life!

Do you think we've become a nation of voyeurs?

This concept is not an old one, and I think it came up when the first camera handphones first came upon the market. Last time, though, people were more concerned with the potential for criminal voyeurism. [unlike the paparazzism I seem to be tending towards] Now, though, I'm concerned about another thing.

Are we so entranced with the images, that we forget about the real thing?

As an amateur photographer, I admit there's a kind of pleasure in capturing a beautiful, lasting image. Technology is getting cheaper, and more accessible to every aspiring wannabe like me, so anyone of us can claim to be an 'amateur photographer' if you have a camera with a decent number of pixels, 3X optical zoom and a good memory card. [Or even a handphone with the same features] Once you buy that shiny new toy, you wanna snap every thing in sight, and you bring it out for all kinds of events, snapping away and playing with all the features. Something that I, admit, am guilty of with Kenny as well.

But part of the thrill of photography is also the interaction with the environment around you. Perhaps this is best expressed by a sentiment I read in a photography magazine: That as children, we play with the tool. We become familiar with its technical features and we get pretty decent shots. [no more red eyes on your friends]

But to really transcend this and become a GREAT photographer, you must also have a keen awareness of the environment around you. You must know how the light falls in the evening. You must know which direction the sun will rise from. You must know the colours that are around you. You must be friendly enough with the people to get permission to take their photos.

How will you do this behind an LCD screen?

It is hard. Like all great artists, you have to drink deeply from the cup of life, before you can take truly great photos of it. Without the knowledge, and love, of your environment, it is hard to take really good shots. Perhaps you can take decent looking holiday snaps, but that is all you will ever get.

Maybe once in a while, you can just leave the memory cards at home, and the handphone in your pocket. Get a chance to really taste the life that is before you. Go out and really live in it, rather than just staying a voyeur of it. Sometimes, the true deliciousness of life comes not from viewing a poor photo of it, but from the awareness that this is all you will get, and that if you don't take in all you can of it now, you will lose it forever.

Maybe, the true beauty of life comes not from its seeming permanence, but from its fleeting moments. That the moment is made ever the more beautiful because of the possbility of it flying away forever at any moment.

This really only hit me as I was leaving the event. I left a few moments too early, and before I knew it, the first fireworks had flown into the sky, straight golden rockets that burst into huge sunflowers of lights that briefly shimmered for a while, then fell gently to earth.

My first thought at the time was to quickly switch Kenny on, and take! take! take! Then I realised, I was wasting time just trying to take him out of the case, switch him on, and changing to the fireworks setting.

I put him back into my bag, and walked backwards along that street, all the while letting the fireworks burn themselves into my eyeballs, and my memories and appreciating them all the more for it.

Amidst all the emotional hoo-haing that went on over the past few weeks, I managed to find the time, energy and ka-chings to purchase 2 very new and expensive members to my family.

First up, the extremely colourful, extremely kawaii, Amore, from the very talented Tokidoki:

I was too lazy to take a picture of my bag, so I got one off the Internet instead... :p My bag is similar to this, except that it is rounder, and has no black mesh at the side.

And yes, it is saturated in KAWAII!!!!! >D

But since the bag cost, *cough* quite a portion of my bonus, I'm currently milking its worth for every Jap lesson I've been to so far. So if you see this printed bag on a Saturday afternoon or night, yea, chances are its me. XP

Next up is my new boyfriend after DF.

I got tired of being left aside by him once he went to Indo so I met this guy outside. Juls describes him as being "a tall, strong, manly black guy with a long extendable ________" [fill in the blanks with your own word.] Ladies, and gentlemen, I introduce to you,

Kenny:

I know he's not the cute, small metrosexual guy that everyone is going for nowadays, but damn to my eye, he's gorgeous.

More shooting possibilities than with Oliver, fits nicely in the palm of my hand, a little heavy, but feels strong and secure there.

And yes, a long extendable. That extends up to 6X optically. >D Therein lies the first step to my future career as a paparazzi.

And yes, these two before my trip to Athens this Friday night.

My pictures will be great, but I'll be eating stolen hotel breakfast bread everyday. -_-!!!!

First up, sorry for lack of updates.

My life has been hitting a kind of low right now. I've had piles of dusty mites to sweep up at work, [a metaphor, and not a reference to the actual amount of dirt around] a menopausal mother at home, who created no small amount of hell for me over the weekend, and a boyfriend who has become more distant and incommunicado than he has ever been, by going on a 5 day holiday in Perth with his friends, followed by 2 weeks in Indo with his family.

Consequently, not the happiest of my days right now. For a period of time, I was yoyoing between "Why does my mother hate me?" and "Why doesn't he seem to love me?" and I freely admit, it was creating all kinds of havoc with my emotions.

I'm caught in some kind of a Ping Pong game right about now. My mother's raging makes me look for affection some where else, which makes her rage even more, cos I'm not home a lot, but because he's overseas, and also helluva block, I'm not getting the affection I want from him, and I bounce off again, and I don't know where I land up after that. Then I spend a lot of time alone, wandering, and wondering why nobody loves me. :( Drama, I know.

Strange, you'd think given my current lifestyle I should be having a lot more stability than this, but I'm not. It helps when I'm out with people, so I try to meet up with friends when we can, or I think of watching movies or shows. [I've caught Bridge to Terabithia, Priceless and Midsummer's Night Dream at Fort Canning in this way, and I can't say that I've regretted those]

Week after next, I'll be doing the Ultimate Reality Escape and flying off to Greece with 3 other friends, but the one prevailing thought on my mind is whether he'll want to meet me before I fly off or is he really that nonchalant about not seeing me for a total of 5 weekends. :(

Once again, I wonder why I have so much trouble on those fundamental relationships in one's life that others seem to have no problem with.

Talking with Jules one night made me think that I was making the same kind of mistakes with him that my mother was making with me. That we were both expecting all kinds of things from another, without that other person being aware of those expectations, or not willing to live up to those expectations. And when we don't get our expectations met, we fume and we piss and we moan and we cry.

[That could easily turn into another thing to blame my mother for, but nah... the DF will be a block regardless of my mother or not]

It turns out that the parental influences in one's lives are more influential than we give them credit for, apparently. Now the question is, how to combat this?

Very confused right now. And always wishing my life could be better.

Inspired by my friend's ever-despairing attempts at studying...........

I realised through observation that people who have serious exam studies to do go through 4 stages of Exam Grief. Yes, just like the famous 4 Stages of Grief.

1. Denial

"I'll get on with my studies just after I finish watching this/reading this/blogging this/[insert irrelevant activity of your choice]"
"I just need to finish this [irrelevant activity] before I can start my studying."

2. Anger

"ARGH!!! I don't get it!!! Why don't I get it??? Stupid textbook! Stupid lecturers! Stupid subject!!!"

3. Despair

"I'm NEVER going to get it!!! Waaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!"

and I know the last one is usually acceptance, but in this case, I'll substitute it with another one:

4. Delusion

"I know why I'm bad at studying."

"Why?"

"I'm getting radiation from my textbooks. It's affecting my brain every time I open them to study."
ACTUAL QUOTE HEARD from Crappiest friend on earth who shall not be named to protect identity, image and ego.

Altogether now,

FREEZE.

-_-!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!