Discoveries

Went to beach with DF.

Cycled up and down the length of East Coast.

Discovered East Coast is longer than I realise. [you can now cycle to SAFRA resort]

Discovered DF is possibly allergic to seawater. [he claims his nose will itch. There go the beach holidays (^^!) ]

Discovered I can get easily sunburnt. [skin is now red, and hot to touch. Never cycle after lunch. (^^!)]

Discovered hawker centre at East Coast has renovated. [wooden pavilions, and umbrella-ed tables. Much nicer to look at, but food prices seem quite ex]

Discovered DF is highly partial to air-con, though he is still capable of physical activity. [The guy has a metabolic rate I would die for, can?]

Discovered DF has nice, firm arms and abs. [how do you think I found this out? Haha!]

Discovered how nice it is to lean on him, resting my head on his shoulder, and his head on mine, hands locked together.

*Sigh* (^_^)

It's official... I'm addicted to the Freecell game on Windows... (0_0) Someone help me please...

Anyway, the inspiration for this post came one night during Jap class... I might have been in the wrong phase of my menstrual cycle then, but here goes...

Let's talk about...

The question put to the class that night was "kekkonshita toki, nani o kaemasu ka?", roughly translated as "What changes after one gets married?"

Common replies were "namae" [name], "uchi" [house], [other answers greatly limited by our lack of proficiency in Japanese].

I had to come up with an answer that stunned Krynn and Yenn. "Sex Life". [sorry, but I don't know what's the Jap term for that. :p ]

Well, like, YEA! Of all the most drastic changes you could do to yourself after marriage, the sex would be a part of it wouldn't it? [Assuming you and your spouse actually get it going on, that is...]

Ok, lemme show you what I mean by comparing the different kinds of changes after marriage:

House - Merely a sharing of physical space. You get a flat together, you clash over interior decoration issues, you wonder what furniture to get. Big deal. Sounds like moving into a hostel with a roommate.

Name - [for women] Yawn. The only discernible differences brought by a change in name would only be seen if you had to fill in government forms. Other things you can still get by with your maiden name if you still wanted to. Some ladies even keep their maiden names by latching them together with their husbands'. Eg, Mrs Lee-Tan, Mrs Wee-Tan.

Sharing of other assets - See house. Once again, it's like sharing stuff with your roommate.

Kids - only come after the One Big Change, which is....

SEX

Before you were married, when you were still single, or just into a relationship, this was THE forbidden fruit, that parents encouraged their kids [mainly the daughters] to keep, preserve, cherish and defend to the death. In Singapore's legal system, sex with an underage minor is considered statutory rape, WHETHER OR NOT the sex was consensual in the first place.

So the message to kids is clear. [whether or not they choose to heed it is another thing altogether , of course] Virginity is something to be preserved at all costs, and to lose it is to almost commit a crime, by Singapore's standards. Sex is a big no, no, NO at their age.

[Note: However, the law is noticeably biased towards men. An adult man who has sex with an underage girl faces jail. An adult woman who has sex with an underage boy gets by with the legal equivalent of a slap on the wrist.]

Even when you grow up, and say you're in your 20s, premarital sex is still something that is very much frowned upon. Most of you at this point might snort indignantly, grin cynically, or maybe blush furiously, [?] but the fact remains that. Premarital sex, no matter how common, no matter how much more socially acceptable, no matter how much it's been blasted on the TV, movies or the Internet, still has a tinge of forbiddenness in it. Even if you indulge in it, you may still get a small, nagging feeling at the back of your mind, saying you're doing something WRONG.

It may come across as an old-fashioned sentiment, but what do you expect? It's a message that has been passed down by generations of parents before us, and is not likely to die down in our generation. [which of course makes you wonder, how many generations before us also didn't listen to their parents and went and did it anyway, and then ended up telling their kids not to do it? Gee, why didn't we listen the first time around already?]

But I digress. The main message is clear: Preserve thy virginity. Do not fuck.

THEN after you get married, what happens?

Suddenly EVERYONE'S interested in your sex life. Did you do it? Are you doing it? How often are you doing it? Do you enjoy it? Do you like it? Does it hurt? Blardy hell. Last time parents tell me cannot do, cannot do, now they want me to do and do and do until I repopulate half the world?

So when you're young, the message is that you are never to do it. Then, after you get married, you aren't only told to do it, you're heavily encouraged, and your mother-in-law might even give you some special herbs to 'make him go faster' *wink wink wink*, or for you to take 'during some times of the month' *wink wink wink again* All for the sake of carrying their next crying, bawling generation in their arms.

So tell me, is there another more major change after marriage? *wink wink wink*

Edit: After I wrote the above post, I came across the following article in Tomorrow.sg Read and enjoy. :)

SillyCelly's guide to O-Heaven

Cookie Bites

Because I put such a sombre post up yesterday, I was hesitant to put other farnie stuff up, in case it clashed with the sombre post. Hence, here are all the crappy stuff that I tot of yesterday:

---

When you go to the gym, you can get a lot of satisfaction from one thing.

It's not being able to break your previous running record on the treadmill. [btw, on my way to getting a D for my 2.4 (^^!) ]

It's not being able to lift heavier weights than before.

It's not even seeing the numbers on the weighing scale go down.

No, the satisfaction of going to the gym comes from seeing another woman, who's taller than you, slimmer than you, prettier than you, better dressed than you, [her sparkling white Nike top and cute pink shorts on even cuter butt, versus my oversized freshmen camp T-shirt, and 3 for $10 at market shorts] stroll in with her cute, adoring boyfriend.



And then seeing Nubile Young Thing just DIE after barely 10 mins on the treadmill, while you are still going strong.



WAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You call that EXERCISE? Eat my dust, kuso onna! *evil, smirking look* All the fat women repeat after me, "You may have the looks, but you ain't got the MOVES!"

Hey, you get whatever comfort you get in this harsh world... :p

---

Then later on, as I was going to J8 to meet the DF, I noticed this new advertising campaign for HL's banana milk on a bus. If you ever see this ad, you can never miss it, and you can never mistake it for anything else. Kudos to the ad company that came up with this.

You know that dancing cow in the TV ad with the bananas on her head? Well, the bus had a full-sized model of said cow with bananas on her head lying languidly on the ceiling on the bus.

And funnily enough, the first thing that came to my mind was, "holy cow..."

---

Watched Ep 3 finally. Not a bad movie, despite us knowing what was going to happen in the end. :p Though DF would prefer more scenes of evil Lord Vader in black plastic suit... Me, I'd prefer it if the love scenes were either better done, or simply hacked from the movie altogether. Haydn Christensen was awe-inspiring as the Dark Lord Vader, but as lovey dovey Anakin Skywalker......... *ugh* Totally CMI...

---

Here's an interesting drama that's happening in the blogosphere. It all started with Sassyjan's post for desperate female singles on how to steal the guy you want away from his girlfriend. [ok, that's why it's a post for 'desperate' female singles...]

Then, Xiaxue posted a marriage proposal to Malaysian blogger, Kennysia, on her blog. Although most of the post appears to be more about how pretty she is, the shit she had with a Chinatown vendor, and an Anna Sui fairy contest... there are some proposals in there... I swear... :p

Kennysia replied with musings on how their marriage would be like. But when I see the pics he has on how sex would be like, what their kids would look like... *shudder* Do the world a favour, and just stick with your girlfriend, yah?

Haha, interesting.... to use your blog to hook the guy you want... :p

This was pretty chilling to read... This blogger blogged about his sister's ex visiting them, and hours later he was dead. Later, police identified the murderer through an entry on his blog.

Read the incriminating blog entry, and then read the news article about the killing.

Rest in Peace, man.

I'm on a stock exchange?

This is a little weird, but I just found out about Blogshares, a sorta stock exchange-like place for blogs?

And I also found out, my blog's on it? Here's the page to the er, trading history and stock price of my blog. [I'm apparently currently valued at $3423.82 at the time that I'm writing this]

The blogosphere is getting more and more bizarre by the minute......

Oh, and I kena Tomorrow-ed again, for my piece on How Not To Get Sued.

Hey! I'm getting famous... Maybe one day ST will also interview me? Or I'll be able to sell Boredslacker T-shirts? Hahaha...

This slacker has been waking up at all sorts of unearthly hours these few days, like 8am on a Saturday morning [with no tuition] and 730 on Sunday morning. :S A condition which will most likely be reversed when I start work/school. :S

Cookie Bites

First off, innocent Disney fans do not look at this link. This is so wrong somehow. :S

A list of Japanese phrases to do with love, marriage and the inevitable quarrels. Use these when you want to confuse your other half. :)

And this horoscope was taken from Krystal's blog: [only some are posted here. For your own horoscope, check her blog, or the original website where she got it] Again, my comments are in []

How To Date A Libra Male

If you are dating a Libra male, your first date will be in a romantic restaurant, highlighted with a wonderful wine list.

[My first date happened to be in Din Tai Fung, which ain't exactly high on the romance factor, though the xiao long bao was good. However, the DF did have a tendency to bring me to nice places when we were innocent friends, so there may be some truth in this. Unfortunately, he can't stand wine or any kinda alcohol. :S]

During dinner just smile and be sweet. Libra men don't like vulgarity in any form. Dress tastefully, and do use your flower scented perfume. He loves women who dress up, wear jewelry, use makeup, and are happy being feminine.

[This......... I might have a slight problem with. :S Especially since my makeup collection consists of one unused lipstick and 4 bottles of dried nail polish]

He is fascinated with fantasy, including sexual fantasy.

[Oooooo.......]

Don't discuss your recent love life, or ex-husbands. He could care less about your children, or desire to have them.

[What love life? What husbands? What children?]

Don't be argumentative. Libra males hate conflict. You can discuss your latest painting, the last book you read, or what your plans are for interior decorating.

[Interior decorating?]

Libra males love cozy fires, and sensuous females near it. Fore play is a big high for Libra males. He is not a wimp, by any means, although, he loves to please! Yes, he would be your sex slave, provided you tease him a lot. At work, he is a fair boss, but at home he loves to be used!

[I'm... intrigued by the sex slave part.]

Libra males will stay in a bad marriage. Flirting gets them into trouble. Marriage is part of his ultimate plan, just make certain he is single, when you decide to date your Libra male.

[Strangely enough, the DF was the first one to bring up the topic of marriage in casual conversation, on our 2nd date to boot. :S Do you sense a sort of gender reversal here? But hey, at least he's not afraid of commitment...]

And now for my turn: [Though what's the point of putting this up if he ain't reading it? Duh... ]

How To Date A Pisces Female

If you are dating a Pisces female, take her to a psychic fair, art gallery, or out for cocktails.

[cocktails will DEFintely go down very well with me. :D]

Don't take her to the animal shelter, or you will have a new pet.

[Aw! LOOKIE AT ALL DA CUTESY CATS!!! Meow! Meow! KAWAII-NE! *Peta feeling coming on*]

You can wear anything you like, and you get to make all the decisions.

[Because I'm too sui pian and too indecisive to make dinner decisions. (^^!) A fact which has probably exasperated many friends, and which I'm trying to get over]

She prefers men with a passion about something, just believe in it.

[It would be nice if your passion was about ME though... (^_^)]

Music is one of her favorites and dancing is definitely a must. If you can't dance, take lessons.

[And take them with me]

Pisces females don't care if you are good looking, just have a heart. A sense of humor is an asset, she has one too.

[Albeit a strange, cynical, and sometimes downright offensive one]

She has no confidence in herself, so support her in her dreams. She falls in love easily. Don't promise her a rose garden, if you don't mean it.

[Thumbs up to this one]

When you go to the movies, take tissues. It does not matter what the movie is about, she will inevitable cry, when something touches her.

[Can I say... I haven't cried in a theatre yet hor...]

Pisces females love everyone, even if they treated her badly.

[Ok, I'm not THAT nuts. Treat me badly and I'll just walk away]

She hates to see pain, but can drown in her own. Cheer her up, be a positive kind of guy, and be romantic.

[Stick around for the PMS]

Encourage her to not live in your shadow, but to have her own life. Yes, your Pisces woman will marry you. Pisces females have a hard time saying "No"!

[Oh oh.........]

New Wallpaper!

I'm on a blogging roll this week... wonder why... Anyway, this time it's a new wallpaper.

I recently bought Ocean Yang's CD from a dubious market stall. [The music is good, and the CD works, that's mainly what I'm concerned with] And this wallpaper was inspired by one of the songs.



The inspiring song is "Liang3 Jian1 Shi4", and in it, the man sings of how, when rummaging through his old possessions, he finds an old letter that his mother had first given him when he first moved out of the family home into the city. In the letter, his mother has 2 pieces of advice for him. One is to always stick to one's principles, and the other is to find a girl you love, and treasure her for a lifetime.

[Note that the lyrics have been pretty badly translated by me]

It's a very sweet, touching song, and like most of the songs in his album, has a light, airy and carefree feel to it. Hence, the light blue sky for a background.

The young man was drawn in Freehand, and colour was later added with Photoshop. Resolution is abt 1200 by 1600, so should fit most browsers.

3 Easy Ways Not To Get Sued Becos Of Your Blog

The stats have cooled almost down to their normal numbers after being Miyagi-ed, but I've noticed an increase in the number of returning visitors. [ie, people who read my blog more than once] Since I haven't made any new friends lately, I assume the returning ones are returning because they like my writing or my art. Or the better blogs like mrbrown and Xiaxue haven't updated. :p

Welcome one, welcome all.

Though talking about blogs, there's been a fair talk about blogs in the news lately hor? First, that scholar gets into trouble for racist remarks, then the Acid Flask incident. [which frankly raises a few question marks in my mind.]

OOPS! Shouldn't have said that! What if A*Star decides to sue me??? :p

Anyway, after reporting rather late on the issue, and interviewing and misquoting a few famous bloggers, the rules are out on the local blogosphere:

Blogs are NOT private space, since their contents are posted on the Internet.

You CAN be sued, if you defame someone in your blog.

So how will you know whether you will get in trouble for what you write in your blog? Here are the following guidelines:

No defamatory or insulting statements

So if you're really pissed off at a colleague at work, for eg, you cannot write:

"XYZ is such a blardy b***h! Always teah teah [how the heck do you spell that word in English???] the guys! Buay tahan her!"

But you CAN write:

"I have observed certain instances where XYZ acts in a manner such that one can only draw the conclusion that she is using her feminine charms to gain unfair favours with the men in the office. I find this behaviour unbecoming on her part."

What's the diff? [Besides the more powerful England in the 2nd sentence?] The first sentence, you're making an outright insulting remark about the person. In the 2nd, you are describing an eyewitness account of XYZ's behaviour in the office, and expressing a personal opinion. :p

From this, we can also deduce that

No using the real names of people or companies

Face it, you never know who is going to google you and find your blog and read the above unflattering statement about herself. So use common sense here, and do not use your real name on the Internet, and do not name friends, colleagues, clients, bosses etc.

Eg, do not write:

"That shi Shi Jia Ming, Marketing director of Alias Pte Ltd always like to tell lies about people! Xian Hua always tell me like that one!"

Wrong, wrong, wrong. What if Jane Shi Jia Ming goes on an ego trip and decides to Google herself, and the first thing she sees is your blog? Instead, write:

"It has been noticed that SJM, who works in the marketing dept at A***s Pte Ltd, usually tells untruths about her colleagues."

Again, your opinion on Jia Ming's honesty is collaborated by other people, who shall remain unknown, or even fictional.

Observe the Xiaxue Doctrine
But face it,most of us non-legal eagles won't know exactly what is potentially defamatory. [The worst among us would think defaming is a way of making a celebrity less famous] Thus, for the ordinary people, From the Singapore Angle has kindly come up with the Xiaxue doctrine.

The Xiaxue doctrine was inspired from a quote from Xiaxue in ST:

"I know the people whom I criticise are not going to come after me and sue me. I don't write about companies and they are the ones that will sue."

Therefore, the Xiaxue doctrine:

Only write about people whom you know do not have the time, money or energy to sue you for what you've written.

So following the Xiaxue Doctrine, you must make sure your blog doesn't criticise:

1) The Lee clan, including Lee Kuan Yew and Lee Hsien Loong. [Don't make fun of LKY's wife either. Don't forget she was also trained as a lawyer]

2) Anyone in government. [excluding, possibly, opposition parties]

3) A*Star and any other government agency. [So now, my future employers have to be known as Mr Moe. (^^!)]

4) Any government-linked or related company. This includes Singtel, Temasek Holdings [remember who runs Temasek Holdings and look at no. 1], and so on.

So as a guideline:

1) Write everything in cheem English
2) Always claim you or someone saw the act being done
3) Always use fake names
4) Stay away from anyone in government

Hope this helps! If not, you can always google up some lawyers.......

Hi there!

To all the people who came over from Miyagi-san's blog. Your visits have spiked the stats for my blog to unheard-of heights. (o_0)?

Though for me, it's still somewhat bemusing to see total strangers leave comments of sympathy for my DF on my blog... hahaha...

Google me!

Who watched the movie 'Hitch'? If you did, you'd know that Will Smith's character would usually do research on his clients and their prospective women through Google by Googling them.

Indeed, Google has become so popular that it's even become a verb on its own. To Google: (V) To find something or someone through the Google search engine. [are we gonna see this in the Longman dictionaries any time soon?]

So in a fit of boredom one night, I googled myself to see what I could come up with.

Suffice to say, it looks much easier in the movies.

If you were to type in 'boredslacker' in Google, you'd find an extremely comprehensive list of my online activities, chief at the top being, strangely enough, my long-neglected tripod website. Fair enough.

If you were to type in my REAL name however....... Holy cow, you get something like 10 pages of results! \(0_0)/ Help!

Most of the other entries were highly unrelated. I did find some people who shared the same name and surname as I did [and considering my name... that's quite a coincidence...] some 18year olds and one 13 going on 14.

Most others were just people who shared the same name, but different surnames. Like the lady who was some CFO for AXA or something... wah liao!

And there was even this: A non-profit organization dedicated to social development in Cambodia. (-_-!)

I did find my real full name, but it was on a list of alumni from NUSSUX. :p And similiarly, on that list is also the rest of you all. You know who you are. You can't run! Your names are on the Internet!

But as to my Real Life identity, that's all one would be able to find. Which is not surprising. I'm not famous in my RL mode. In the Internet, I'm Aki Tan, aka Boredslacker. I do cartoons, illustrations, and I'm an insanely avid blogger, who has a mildly [very, verry mildly] successful blog on the Internet. [eh, I got Tomorrowed, and Miyagied ok? Don't play play ah...]

In RL...... I'm a jobless goon. (-_-!) Ok, waiting for entry to NIE, and then to become a govt slave. (!-_-!) No wonder most people prefer the allure and anonymity of the Internet, eh?

So for us anonymous goons out there, no need to wonder about information being spread about you on the Internet! [Most sensitive information nowadays is kept on secure networks anyway, much like NUSSUX's VPN, so unless you're a fool who likes to share her name, address, IC no, birthday, and name of dog with the world...] Just as in the real world, you're camoulflaged amongst all the other goons sharing the same name as you are...

More Quizzes!

Courtesy of Slayer, [and Krystal for some] my comments are in [] brackets

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. [Sounds like I should get a horse instead.]

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. [Does anyone ever like to be told that they're hated?]

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. [Heh.]

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. [Thankfully he hasn't shown signs of this... yet.]

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets. [Except for that one incident in.... never mind.]

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. [Which means I stand a good chance of being the one dumped?? No.......]

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. [Of course.]

In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered. [Oops, don't let the DF see this...]

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Your Birthdate: February 20

Your birth on the 20th day of the month adds a degree of emotion, sensitivity, and intuition to your reading. The 2 energy provided here is very social, allowing you to make friends easily and quickly. Yet you are apt to have a rather nervous air in the company of a large group. [I find this to be true. With a few people, I'm alright. With a large group, I tend to hide in the shadows.] You have a warmhearted nature and emotional understanding that constantly seeks affection. [I need da love!] You are very prone to become depressed and moody, as emotions can turn inward and cause anxiety and mental turmoil. It can be hard for you to bounce back to reality when depression sets in. [Where's my Prozac? Quick!] When things are going well, you can go just as far the other way and become extremely affectionate. [The DF should read this too....]

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Error! Error!

My mistake guys. If you clicked on Popagandhi's site, there's nothing wrong with it. It's a very blog in fact.

The disgusting one I saw was actually linked on her blog, and I forgot to include it in mine. Oops... :p

Anyway here's the link...

Surfing around and found these...

Went to Popagandhi's blog and saw this link.

Clicked out of curiosity.

Ran screaming to the bathroom, washing out my eyes with soap. [the pain that caused was not equivalent to the pain I suffered at first.]

The best [and most ironic] part: The site offers Webpage Conceptualization, Design and Creation Services

Excuse me while I heave out my Milo...

Here's a more interesting one:

I've gone for 2 Flag Days with NUSSUX. I'm about to be enlisted for the NTU one as part of NIE. (-_-!) Wah freakin' cow!

And I've met all sorts of people while selling flags, but thankfully, never have I encountered someone like this:

"Wait you have children then you know!"

Courtesy of Tomorrow.sg

A few changes to the blog....

I've been Miyagi-ed!



albeit as a very smmmaaallllll link......... (^^!) There goes another 15 mins of my fame...

I've been finding no end of goodies to put on the blog as well.... One noticeable one being the Google search box, which is SUPPOSED to help pple search through the contents of my blog, but still somewhat doesn't work... (^^!) For eg, I typed in "Dragonfly" and only 1 entry came up?? And I know I wrote a WHOLE lot more than that on him...

Also, the Blogroll for Online Comics. [ya might have ta scroll down a weeeee bit more to see it...] Now you can see some of the stuff I routinely waste my time on... (^^!) Done courtesy of Blogrolling. [If this works I might replace my other links lists with this... HTML window's getting damn crowded when I look at it...]

Me thinks me blog is gonna get a weeeeee bit crowded after a while...

I also organized my Flickr page. Cartoons, illustrations and wallpaper have all been separated nicely, so you guys can download and find the pics you want easier. Want wallpaper? Go straight to the wallpaper folder and download wat you want. Want to ogle at my art? Go to Illustrations. Want to pass on my cartoons to others? Cartoons.

BTW here's another illustration done entirely in Photoshop:



In case you were wondering, yea, I think the pose is a bit awkward.... *haiz* So sue me....

Shadowstalker is a character I created when I was in sec sch. She is a woman created entirely out of magic, but lives purely on the desire to kill and destroy. [Hence flaming buildings and blood-encrusted sword.] A soulless, heartless creature destined to bring about Armaggeddon.

I hadn't thought of her for years, and then recently, she suddenly came to mind, and I knew exactly how I wanted to portray her, and how I wanted her to look in the picture, so I opened out Photoshop, and ta-dah. [done entirely in PS]

Although the way she suddenly came to mind like that... Maybe it wasn't so much that I remembered and drew her as I wished, but that SHE made me remember and draw her as SHE wished...

Found this interesting story about The Story of SMU. [Note to any law-savvy pple in SMU: Please don't sue me hor, this is just a story I heard from someone else, not mine hor.]

The Sordid Story of SMU

Dunno whether it provides some comfort to the NUS profs to tell this story to their peasants, oops, students.

I'm not fat!

If you are a woman from the age of roughly 13-50 reading this, there has been at least one time in your life, when you looked at yourself in the mirror, struggled on to a top that used to fit you perfectly, and thought to yourself:

"I'M FAT!"

If you are not one of the population lucky enough to be born with THE perfect body of the season [an ongoing urban myth that has not lost fervor] , then you have, at one time or another in your life, been unhappy/miserable/downright suicidal about your figure.

So why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we keep thinking the problem is with Uus? [Well, if you enjoy your fried foods and ice cream a little too much and consider walking to the malls strenuous exercise, then maybe the problem IS with you.] Everytime we feel insecure about our bodies, whether justified or not, the first person we blame is ourselves.

Well, blame no longer. Aki now brings you:

10 Reasons Why It's Not My Fault I'm Fat:

1. I inherited the wrong genes from the wrong parent. [I've used this one on occassion]

2. My mother taught me that it is a sin to waste food. But this rule doesn't apply to fresh fruits and vegetables because they're cheap.

3. My boyfriend keeps me fat because he doesn't want to lose me to other men.

4. The hawkers at the food court have a conspiracy against me. They always add extra salt and seasoning and fat to my food every time I order from them.

5. My bone density has doubled due to all the milk I drink.



6. I'm aiming for a slimming endorsement deal in the future. That way I get paid to slim down.

7. Water retention. 'Nuff said.

8. I live on a higher plane of consciousness, that values inner and spiritual beauty over that of superficial physical beauty.

9. It's not fat. It's muscle.



10. A phenomenon has caused the gravitation pull of the Earth to be stronger for some individuals than others. Thus, my weight has increased correspondingly.

Oh I just found out that the guy doing the localized Star Wars comic has come out with Chapter 2.

~May Da Farce Be With You!~

Some friends have asked me as to the Health promotion board thing.... As I said in my post, I rejected her offer.

Why? A variety of reasons I guess....

I'm not too confident of my skills on a professional basis. I know that I'm skilled on an amateur basis but when I look at the professional ones...... (00) "I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!"

Also, there are a dozen other things to consider when setting up shop like this. Finding the printing companies, liaisoning with clients... all of which I think will be damn hard to start off once I start NIE. I don't want to be torn between tuition, NIE, and design, otherwise all 3 areas will suffer.

I know down along the NIE and education road, I will be severely banging my head along the way for this lost opportunity. ["Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!"] But for now... If someone is going to pay me, I'm going to make sure I'm worth every blardy overpriced cent of theirs.

And it doesn't mean that I never will take up illustration/graphic design on a pro basis. I will always keep this as a sideline. Hopefully when I settle down in teaching, [if tat will ever happen] and shave off my tuition students, I will be able to balance the two better.

In the meantime, renshuu...... and *bang* *bang* *bang*

---

For now, here's an interesting thing that happened during the signing:

My two suretys were my mother, and my uncle [father's brother]. Now, my family has always been more on the ang moh side, [hence producing a banana potato like me] and my uncle also is more particular about language. [used to scold me and bro for using "lah"]

The signing was in the MOE HQ, base center for all education in Singapore. When our number was called, we went up to the table with our witness, who seemed to be a young lady, probably a clerk, and who spoke to us like this:

"So ah, I explain to you the contract hor. If the signee breaks her bond ah, this is the amount you will be liable for. However ah, in case of things like accident lah or death lah, the Ministry will take a compassionate view lor."

And this went on for the entire briefing.

I have to admit though, that at first, the lady's Singlish went right by me. For one, I'm blur. (^^!) For another, I was too busy thinking about when I could get the papers signed and get outta there. But I did notice at one point that my uncle had his arm propped up on the table, head resting on his palm, hiding his mouth the entire time. It was only after we left the auditorium, that he burst out laughing, saying,

"You know AH, you can tell AH, that lady didn't use to be a teacher LOR. Because AH, if she teach her students like that AH, the whole education system AH, gone LIAO LOR!"

(^^!) Best LOR......

Although you have to admit... That lady was working in the Base Camp for all English-language education in Singapore. And she had to be a product of the Singaporean Education System. And if she's talking like that to all the potential English teachers......

I wonder how many of them thought the same thing that my uncle did? :p

Between a Rock and a Hard Place

Author's note: The words in italic were all originally uttered in Jap, but for easier reading, I've decided to write them in English instead. Also, a lot of dramatic licence has been taken throughout the story, so what happens isn't an exact reenactment. :) ]

Stoning through Jap class on a Saturday afternoon. Yenn next to me is visibly exhausted and trying to find the meaning of 'yakusoku'. [it means "appointment", something I only found out after class.]

"I have an appointment after class."

I was supposed to meet the DF after class, and at 6, I was already fidgety, waiting for the clock to move to 630 so I could quickly go meet him. [Go fig, still in the throes of honeymood mode...] Then I get an SMS from him:

Can meet at suntec?

Well, I was supposed to meet him at Orchard, but Suntec, why not? Closer to me by MRT somemore. So I reply back:

Can also, city hall mrt?

He says:

Ok. Are you meeting your friends after that?

"Traffic light..."

I say:

No, i'm not meeting them tonight

He: Oh i tot always meet them at night?

Me: No... my frens not so zai lor... hahaha

Then pause. Next SMS:

He: What would you say if I wanted to postpone tonight? My mother and her friends are in town and she wants me to go with her

"Red light..."

Eyes squint to a glare, mouth twists to one side, and face frowns, as I glare at the offending yet innocent SMS. Kuso! Almost 20mins before we're supposed to meet, you're asking me if you can cancel?? What do you think I'm going to reply you?

Me: *grumble* [The effectiveness of one word.... ]

He: Haha I guessed as much [then why ask if i'm ok with you postpoining, if you know my answer? Grrr....] I'll call her and see how

Me: wa liao cancel 20mins before i meet you...

He: My mother's friends only in town for a while mah... I'll call her..

One month into the relationship, and my DF has already felt what it's like to be caught between the Mother and the Girlfriend. Both of which are dangerously glaring at him, growling with their eyes, "Make a choice.... NOW!"

"Crossroads..."

On the outside, to sensei, I look like I'm listening attentively to the lesson, brows furrowed in concentration, despite some distractions with my SMSing. [wonder whether she wondered why I found traffic terms in japanese so engrossing....] On the inside........

"ARGH! IDIOT KUSO GUY MAKE APPT WITH HIM 1 WEEK AGO AND CONFIRM 24 HOURS BEFORE AND NOW 20MINS BEFORE MEETING HE WANT TO GO MEET HIS MOTHER????? IDIOT! KUSO! KITANAI! SAITEI!"

Fume. Fume. FUME. Finally, after Jap, he still hasn't called me to confirm whether he's meeting me or not, and I complain to Yenn 25 storeys down to the ground floor.

"Haiya, call him lah! At least you find out once and for all, right?" Yenn says exasperatedly, probably impatient with my continuing hesitance, and more eager to get on home to her long-awaited bed.

Ok, so I call him, and I find out he's meeting me for dinner after all. *phew* for me and ESP for him. I go to Suntec and when I meet him, I aim for the softest part of his waist and PINCH.

"CANCEL ME 20MINS BEFORE WILL YOU?"

As he's fervently trying to twist away from my iron fingers, [good luck, chap. Jules has been trying that for years, and years later, he still can't escape from these Fingers of Iron...] he makes a valiant attempt to defend himself.

"She just called me up today also, I didn't know what to tell her!"

*glare*

"Her friends only in town for a while only mah!"

*glare*

"She's my mother!"

*GLARE WITH DAGGERS SHOOTING OUT*

Stung and bleeding, his half-dead body lying on the floor, he finally raises 2 hands in surrender, while I sit by his corpse, licking my claws clean.

"Ah........ another thing."

"What?" As I sit by licking the last of his blood off my hands.

"I won't be able to follow you home, because I have to go home with her."

*GLARE WITH DAGGERS AND OMINOUS THUNDER IN BACKGROUND*

Again, his half-dead body lies on the ground, with all the wounds from the previous attack re-opened in the renewed onslaught. Damn, I think, there goes my nails...

---

More or less, that's what happened on Saturday evening... :p Though as I said, I changed some of the words here and there to make the story more interesting, and to make him look more mousy. Hahaha... [should do some cartoons to accompany these stories next time]

Truth is, I'm at a disadvantage, since DF's angmoh is almost as good as mine. [i like to think it's almost as good, and not just as good. :p] The idiot beat me in GP by getting an A1 can??? And then went to Arts faculty somemore... blardy hell! Everytime he outtalks me in something, I moan that I should've chosen an Engine grad or someone at least with poorer debating skills than mine. (^^!) Screw me for a bad loser....

Never mind, when words fail me, I will always have my Claws of Death...

Oh, and I forgot to mention... I actually got an email from someone in the Health Promotion Board, saying they liked my illustrations and whether I could design and print stuff for them, but I had to decline, because of my upcoming fulltime job.

Someone find me a hard wall and direct my head towards it.........

Comic Feast for Comic Geeks!

HOly cow, I just discovered more local Singaporean comics.... (0_0) Me senses more time being spent on the computer from now on.....

Just how much time are we talking about? Well, currently these are the online comics that I pursue most reguarly: [Titles listed with a grin are those that I LURVE]

Megatokyo :D
The Order of the Stick:D
Copper :D
IQ Prerequisite
9th Elsewhere
Real Life Comics :D
PVP Online
Secret Friends Society
The Pet Professional :D
GC The comic created by monkeys

And now add to the list, done in all local wholesome goodness:

Den's Life
Bobbin's World
The Adventures of Pudding

*Groan* I need RSS feeds...........

A phone call of expectations

Yea, so maybe I overreacted a little over the phone call thing last night...... :p But I still think this cartoon quite aptly describes the difference btw how men and women make decisions... as we have all noticed in work and school.... Women have to talk it all out, and go through all the possible 1001 scenarios, and men, in the words of the immortal nike, just do it.

As always, after doing something stupid connected with the DF, [think of the DF reloaded...] I'll wake up the next day, and wonder, what the hell was I thinking last night??

After all, even though he didn't answer my call, [till very, very late at almost 12, he sent me an SMS starting with "Oops..." (^^!)] I could have made other plans. I could've called other friends, [I tried Jules, but he was studying for his exams] I could've gone out by myself, [which I eventually did] I could've done a number of things that wouldn't have required his company.

Why would I get so upset over one unanswered phone call? After all, it's not as if he's sleeping around with other women when he missed my call... [for which I would commit murder...] And I didn't think I would get so upset if one of my friends had missed my call or not replied my SMS... [though then again, most of my friends DO call back or reply promptly... hmmm....]

Perhaps the difference boils down to the expectations we have of people, and especially the ones close to us. In this day of instant connectivity and conveniences, we are more expectant of instant replies. After all, how long can it take a person to key out a reply to an SMS?

Of course, that's assuming the person even received and read the SMS in the first place. (^^!) Which is a bit of a problem in itself. If a friend doesn't answer our SMSes on the first few minutes after sending, what are our responses? We assume that maybe she's busy, or maybe she's at work, in which case she cannot answer the phone. If it's really urgent, we try calling her.

If our boyfriends don't answer the phone....? Suffice to say, I've heard of some women for which it constitutes grounds for breakup...... (^^!)

Of course that's a bit extreme lah... but the point being that I think we hold our significant others to higher expectations than those we impose on our friends.

And why do we do so? Well, think of it as a return on investment. We invest significantly higher emotional investments into our relationships than our friendships. The hurt that comes out of a breakup is significantly higher than the hurt of a friendship broken, or forgotten. With so much at stake, we want to know that we're getting something back for all that effort put in maintaining the relationship. And by golly, is it that hard to reply an SMS??

After all, if the man is to be our potential spouse, and the potential father of our children, [i may be jumping the gun here a bit, but it's for the sake of argument...] we want to make sure that he's worth all this time and effort and love we're putting in.

So then, we subject the poor guy to various mental and emotional tortures that we wouldn't normally subject to our friends. [from the POV of the guy, I think it constitutes torture...] We want to make sure that he lives up to our expectations of what we think a good mate should be.

And how many times have you heard from your friends, "I couldn't continue the relationship with him. He has such disgusting hygiene/habits/insert other funny reason here! I couldn't imagine myself marrying him!"

More seldom do you hear, "I couldn't continue the relationship because I expected too much out of him, and he couldn't live up to those expectations." which I would feel would be a more honest reply than the guy's poor dental hygiene :D

But then again, on the flipside, I know of guys who also subject their girlfriends to all kinds of unheavenly expectations. IE the guy I heard of [not my friends, don't worry] who said that his girlfriend had to be a dashing beauty with a supermodel body, despite the fact that the guy in question has the face of a pig and the body to match. (^^!) So I guess the expectations-argument works equally on both sexes.

Well, I guess I'll just ride it out and see how. One thing good about this relationship, it helps you look at stuff you never would have considered before, and helps you discover things about yourself you never knew before either. [Like now, I know I expect my DF to answer SMSes. Which is a problem, because the guy is not an SMSer.... (^^!) and which is something either he or I have to work with...]

And in the end, it's up to the two of you to work together to find out what works. :)

To be there for a cuppa coffee...

Is rather difficult, if you aren't gonna answer my calls or my SMSes. *hmph*

Schedules are a double-edged sword. On the one hand, you hate answering to them. You hate the control they have over your life. You hate the fact that you have to be at so-so's house at so-so time every so-so day, whether you feel like it or not. You want to be free to go where you want, without a schedule holding you down.

Then on the days that your schedule is taken away, you feel strangely lost.

That's what happened to me tonight. My regular Wed nite student decided to take a break from her exams, and so I'm free on Weds now till June. Which at first, seemed like a good thing. I'd have Wed nite free to go out, meet friends, and stay out late.

Until tonight, when I got soooooooooooooo bloody bored after dinner.

And as if boredom wasn't enough, I kept getting insistent alarms from my body clock, trying to tell me I had to be going somewhere, I had to be doing something, I had to do SOMETHING other than lie languidly on my bed wondering what to do.

How does one rest when one is so restless? It was as if my body was trying to get the engine started, when I hadn't even read the map and decided on the directions yet.

Finally I decided to take an aimless walk around J8 instead.

As your silent questions as to whether I called the DF: Yes I did, and all I got was a continuous ringing tone on his end. *hmph*

---

One thing you guys have to know about the DF: He is NOT a phone-friendly person. *grr* I admit, I'm not the easiest person to call on the phone. I often miss my calls and reply SMSes late.

But the key difference is: I REPLY them. He doesn't. (^^!) He often misses calls and SMSes, and if he realises it too late, ie hours later, he decides it's too late liao and doesn't reply.

[mutters silent curses under her breath]

Most of you have heard the Rules. Rule 1: All men lie. Rule 2: [amidst a male chorus of "NO WE DON'T!"] If they say they don't, they're in denial. Hehehehe....

All women know about the rules and expect men to abide by them. No men knows all the rules, and they are obligated to abide by them.

No wonder we have so many mars-venus problems.....

So maybe I should add Rule 3: Men must ALWAYS answer their GF's calls and SMSes, even if it be days later.

Rule 4: For any reply that is more than 1 hour late, the girl is no longer obligated to reply the men's calls/SMSes. However, the man is obliged to keep trying, until the girl feels he is worthy of her reply.

You guys realise I'm only writing this because I'm half hoping he still isn't reading my blog... hahaha...

---

After coming home, and claiming the PC as mine, I finally managed to come online, read blogs, and blog a bit myself. [and at the same time, realising that a certain malaise seemed to be making its way through my friends, wonder why...]

What caught my eye was this line from an name-shalt-be-unmentioned friend:

"Do u ever wonder?

Is your other half really suitable for you?"

Considering that she's been seemingly happily attached for almost 6 months now, I'm wondering why she's writing this line in her blog, but well, here's my thought on the matter.

Can anyone ever be 100% suitable for another? Can anyone ever perfectly 'click' with another?

Suitability, compatibility, love... As I told another friend another time, true love is something that is tested over time, fire and water.

How do you tell whether someone really loves you? When we are [relatively] rich, young, and [relatively] beautiful, it's easy for us to tell each other, "Yes, I love you."

What about the opposite? Assume now that both of you are poor, old and ugly. What if one of you is dying from a dreaded disease? [fervently banging wooden table now] Or if one of you loses his/her job and can't find another, and you have 2 hungry kids to raise and your salary is not enough to feed them all? Will you, in all honesty, be able to tell each other the same thing?

True love, compatibility is not something that can be measured, quantified in the here and now. It is tested and proven through baptisms of fire.

The couple who truly loves each other is not the one who holds hands and meets each other everyday/week/month and talks to each other every day on the phone.

The ones who are truly in love are the ones who have been through hell and fire together, who have raised hellions of their own, who have lost their youth, their beauty, and every inch of firm skin or hair on their heads, and who can still look at each other fondly and say, "I love you." and mean it.

The rest of us now....... We're not in love. We're not even close to experiencing love. Even when we are in a relationship, we're not really in love, because our relationships are too young, and for most of us, in too early a dating stage to have really experienced hardships as a couple.

We're just taking a chance that, at the end of it all, it might be love. :)

As for suitability... similiarly, it's something that is cultivated over time. The more both are together, the more they learn about each other.

And in the end, I think suitability is not measured in terms of whether you can talk as well as he does, or whether he answers your calls *grr* or whether he likes your friends.

So don't measure it in terms of things like family upbringing, income, race, skin, sexual orientation, [ok, maybe you should be concerned about his sexual orientation, if you think it's headed the wrong way...] religion etc...

Suitability and Compatibility are measured in terms of how much of each other's crap you can stomach in the long run. :)

Which also means, if he doesn't answer your calls on the first go, either try again, or just walk around J8 without him, but mainly, don't hold it against him *mumble embarrassingly* 'kay fine............