You are a pink Haro...I
guess...you...should...be...thrilled?


What kind of Haro (Gundam) are you?
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*Breathes* Agenda during next chat with Mum: Bar cleaning lady from EVER touching anything in my room again. And threaten to murder said cleaning lady with broom if Kira Yamato is moved even 2cm from his current seating position.

I agree that I should have been clear from the start about just how extensive the cleaning session was meant to be. Previous cleaning ladies who came for a few times only vacuumed and mopped the place, so I guess I wasn't expected Hurricane Hattie to sweep through my room this time. *Sigh*...... In a way, it's fortunate that it happened after I graduated. Can you imagine if she'd completely rearranged my project notes and assignments??? *faints in a heap*

So at least Aki-onna ain't one pissed off onna anymore. Back to life.

Sunday was a bit more enjoyable than that testy Saturday night. I met up with the Dragonfly to go to church [twice now! Is it his lenten promise to lure this condemned soul back to the arms of God?] and then headed to the Career Fair at Suntec.

There were much less people walking around, it being the last day, and also MUCH less jobs. Where were the 10,000 or so jobs touted in the paper? Apparently 2/3 of them were being offered by Prudential, AIA, and Great Eastern Life. -_-! The moment you walk in you realise that most of the exhibition space had been given up to schools, and the actual job offerings were a paltry offering.

Which somewhat makes it the same as previous years.

As we walked further in, the poor guy got baited by a Prudential surveyor, hook line and sinker. [nice makeup, pretty eyes, fair skin, and kept trying to make friendly conversation. who can blame him?] He had to do a personality test in 10 mins, after which he was carted off to a table to sit with another guy, and I took this chance to run. [No insurance agent's gonna catch me! Bwahahahaha!]

I walk around the other side and I meet Ee Fan, ex-bizader and insurance agent made good. EF's one of the few insurance agents on this earth I'm not afraid to talk to, for the reason that he doesn't push me to buy another, never asks me to do insurance surveys, and he is able to carry on a conversation without turning it to my future financial needs, assurance for my parents, what if something happens to me blah blah blah why don't we meet over coffee this week and discuss this blah blah blah...

And being a girl, the one thing I push him for is gossip, hahaha... Too bad we didn't know too many people in common, but I did hear one interesting bit about a tall, hulky ex-bizader with curly hair who worked for one year and then quit to study at Bible College full-time???? Can't imagine that guy as Father....?? [for those who wanna know, like, MSN me or something and I'll reveal the identity of the guy] And Ee Fan has that infuriating quality of all guys, that they never know further details, like WHEN?? HOW?? WHY?? ARGH!

So I passed the time chatting to EF till DF was finally released from the clutches of Prud, and we continued walking.

BTW nothing has changed about the NUS exhibition booth. We walked over to take a look, and the NUS booth looks suspiciously the same as previous years. not to mention it has been overshadowed by the snazzier, handphone-promotion-looking SMU booth, which came in Starhub green and had soft neon light tubes. I don't know WHY they don't do a better job of rebranding and promoting themselves, since I've seen promotion management projects in Bizad that have been TONS better than what they've come up with so far. This is what happens when people with huge butts get too used to the comfy chairs they've been sitting on.

At least we managed to get freebies. [Yay for the freebies!] Cleo from Jobstreet, pen from SMU, carabina with stopwatch [cool!] from NTU, and..... a BBA magazine from NUS. -_-! Yup, serious rebranding is in order...

After that, dinner, followed by the movie Hitch.

[Guys, Hitch is hilarious! Will Smith is superbly suave in this movie, and though not drop dead gorgeous, has TONS of charm pouring out of his every pore. And yes, the way he teaches Kevin James how to chase the gorgeously unattainable goddess Allegra Cole is HILARIOUS!! The whole cinema was roaring with laughter at the hilarious duo!

That being said, I know a guy who could use the services of the Date Doctor. Hmmm....]

And by the way, getting to GV Marina is akin to walking in a deserted alley to get to the backdoor which sells porn. [ok, maybe I overdramatise...] To get to GV Marina, we had to walk through the now-deserted Marina Square, go down a staircase, which led us out into the entrance of Marina Mandarin, (!) walk past the doors, up another winding staircase, past what used to be the foodcourt, before we finally entered a small entrance that was the cinema. WTF???

And despite all that, there were still tons of people watching movies there~! Maybe they weren't aware of the topo abilities needed to get to GV Marina. One couple tried following us for a while, but kept hesitating and finally disappeared before we found the cinema. Maybe they thought we were as lost as they were.

After that, home, just in time to watch Cold Case.

Well, at least I had one good Sunday to make up for Saturday.

I am SO FUCKING PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW.

My mom, sick of nagging us to do the housework, got a part time woman to come in and clean the house one afternoon. Because I had tuition in the afternoons, and then Jap after that, I couldn't stay to meet the lady, so I only saw my room late at night when I got home.

FUCKING KITANAI

Because the moment I walked into my room, I sensed that it was wrong. The furniture was in place, as per normal, and there was nothing obviously missing, but everything in my room screamed wrong! wrong! wrong! at me. Only when I closely observed the things on the furniture then I realised what was wrong.

THAT BLOODY BITCH MOVED AROUND ALL THE STUFF IN MY ROOM

Anyone who's seen my room knows how much stuff I have in it. AND EVERYTHING WAS IN THE WRONG POSITION. I started at my desk. My comics and books were in different positions from where I left them. My Neopets and Gundam figurines were in different spots. My CDs were stacked differently. And this really stung it for me: MY PHOTOS. My photo with my JC Lib Exco fell off its magnetic frame. My photo with Julian and Jordan in London, fallen on its face. My photo with my sec school gang at our old basketball court GONE later found behind the magnetic frame.

Now I was really in a panic. Then I noticed that the boxes of books and stuff I had beside my desk, plus the 2 new Ikea boxes of comics, GONE, shifted to either below my desk or near my cupboards. My bed, with my stuffed toys, [Dobby, Slipper, Chubby and Blake] my blanket, all shifted, and my blanket even insolently folded and tucked under my pillow. My little side shelf, where I kept my savings bank and the wooden bowl for my accessories, SHIFTED into different spots. [thank God the money still feels there] MY ENTIRE DALMATIAN COLLECTION, AND EVERYONE OF THEM WERE IN DIFFERENT POSITIONS. [And yes, I CAN tell.] The stuff on my black table, ALSO SHIFTED.

*Almost on the verge of screaming by now*

EVERY LITTLE MOMENTO OF MY LIFE SHIFTED FROM ITS ORIGINAL SPOT.

And in my state of panic, my mother came into my room, and remarked, "Wah, you know how long she took in your room? 2 hours leh!"

*hysterical and jumping up and down* I DIDN'T ASK FOR HER TO SPEND 2 HOURS OF HER FUCKING LIFE IN MY ROOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[and now, as pissed as I was, I wasn't pissed enough at that point of time to scream my head off at my mom at 1130 at night]

I WAS HAPPY WITH MY ROOM!!!!! I HAD THINGS THAT WAY BECAUSE THAT'S THE WAY I LIKED IT!!!!!!!!! I WAS FINE WITH THE DUST AND THE DIRT IN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I HATE PEOPLE TO MOVE AROUND MY STUFF LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU DON'T LIVE IN MY ROOM, YOU DON'T SLEEP IN MY ROOM, YOU DON'T EVEN WALK INTO MY ROOM, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU TELLING ME HOW MY ROOM SHOULD BE LIKE?????? IS IT NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU TO MESS AROUND WITH MY LIFE, MY CAREER, NOW YOU HAVE TO MESS AROUND WITH MY STUFF????????????????????????????????

In case you guys didn't realise by this point, YES I'M FUCKING MAD. My room is my sanctuary. I keep stuff because everyone of those pieces of junk in my room has memory, has sentiment attached to it. It's there because it's special to me. When I go to other people's houses, unless they're really close friends of mine for years, I don't touch their stuff, EVER without their permission. I respect property rights, and I respect others' property.

THIS WOMAN DIDN'T RESPECT MINE. AND MY MUM HAS THE CHEEK TO INSINUATE THAT I SHOULD BE GRATEFUL SHE'S SPENDING HER TIME DISRESPECTING MY THINGS.

My mom even told me that she had to pay the lady for it, and I didn't chip in. WELL IF I DIDN'T PAY FOR IT, THEN WHY ON GOD'S NAME SHOULD I ENJOY THE PLEASURE OF HER SERVICES? If that's the case, I'd rather NEVER chip in the cleaning fund and wallow in my own dirt AS LONG AS NO ONE EVER ENTERS MY ROOM AGAIN.

Oh God why did you have to let this saturday night end like this......................................................

Spent the afternoon at the library, and then came home to realise that family had no plans for dinner. Hence had to settle meal meself.

No mood to go out, too troublesome to jio pple, and too lazy to go to nearby coffeeshop. What does one do then?

One heads down to the convenient provision shop at one's block and buys a tube of Pringles.

And then spends the rest of the time putting it down on Freehand:



A simple 600X800 wallpaper, with banner potential...

One Dumb Roach...

*Note: The post has been edited, becos I suddenly remembered another stupid thing that happened last night. Read it guys, you really have to, even if you have to scroll down the previous crap...*

Handbag for Sale

[new] My mom got this white handbag free by bargaining with the sales staff at Loreal.

"Aiyah I buy so many expensive things from you already, give me another one lah!"

It would sound funny, if not for the fact that I know my mother. And the force she can project behind her voice when she wants something done her way, like how the dishes should be stacked and how clean the table should be kept.

So anyway, she ended up with 2 white handbags and here's the auction site:

White Handbag For Sale

If anyone is interested, and especially if you have a yahoo account, put a bid on it. BUT [and this probably goes against all the rules of fair trade] if you really want it, and you're my friend, I'll sell it to you at $12. [min. price set by mum sorry guys] Ok, steps are as follows:

1. Click on the link, and log on with your Yahoo account to bid.
2. Closing price is $15, so bid for that price. The auction will automatically close itself to others.
3. IMPT: Send me an SMS telling me you closed the auction. This is to confirm that a friend of mine bought the bag.
4. Meet up with me one day and I'll pass the bag to u for $12.
5. Rate me on Yahoo, so that my rating increases by 1 point. :p Unless u think that I cheated u or something, then don't.

It's a nice, brandless bag, [no embarrassing huge Loreal name on the front] and the material is a faux leather kind, not too bad. It's about, er, the length of my arm from my elbow to my palm? So it can hold at least wallet, handphone, makeup and wateva u have. Good for office and casual use.

Interested already? Hehehe... Bid Here.

---

Ok here's the other stupid thing that happened last night:

I was innocently and happily strumming my guitar in my room last night, when I heard a buzz from behind me. [If you know what my room looks like, I was sitting on my bed with my back to the window] I thought, well, maybe a little bug flew in, so I ignored it and continued strumming.

Who knows, the buzz started again, and this time it was nearer to me. I turned around cautiously and GOOD BLOODY F**K IT'S A KITANAI COCKROACH!!!!!!!!!

I lunged backwards, and I think the roach was similarly startled, cos it scrambled on its dirty little legs till it reached my cupboard.

My cupboard is fixed into the wall, but there's a slight ledge where the door jutted out. So it rested itself on that ledge, and all I could see of it were its 2 little antenna poking the air in front of it. Like it was playing some dumb hide and seek with me. "You can't see me.............." I could almost hear its taunting roachy voice in my head.

Right, fly into my room will you? I grimly went downstairs to look for a broom.

Now I'm a nice, kind, peace-loving individual. [cue to vomit] Whenever bugs like this fly into my room, I don't harbour bloody murderous thoughts to kill it to bits and drink its blood. All I really want is to swat it with a soft broom till it flies out of the house and never haunts me again.

It's also because I'm too much of a pissless coward to touch the thing with my bare hands, and kill it and clean up roachkill on my bedroom floor. [Heh...roachkill. That's a good one]

But I couldn't find a dry broom in the house. All I found was a disattached broom head, and a wooden staff. So I tried joining the two together.

What do you know? My hands slipped and I jammed the wooden pole onto my fingernail.

ITAI!!!!! TOTEMO ITAI!!!!!! !@#$%^! BLARDY F**K!!! [Language in subdued tones because father was watching TV in living room]

NOW I'M PISSED. First a ROACH flies into my room, it stubbornly refuses to fly out again and leave me in peace with my guitar, and I BANG MY FINGER WITH A WOODEN POLE BECAUSE OF IT??? HE DIES I TELL YOU!!! NOW I HUNGER FOR HIS BLOOD!!!

My black face, sore finger and I go back up to my room together, where we find the dirty bugger still trying to hide at the top of my cupboard, still taunting me with those pesky feelers.

=@*BANG!!!!!*@=

The wooden broom flies towards his malicious little cockroachy head. I wasn't sure whether I even hit him, but he was still alive, cos he managed to scurry to the other side of the cupboard. I took aim again.

=@*BANG!!!!*@=

It almost becomes a game. He'd scurry to one end of the cupboard, where I'd whack him, then he'd scurry to the other side again, and I'll whack him again. This went on till my father screamed.

=@*BANG!!!!*@=

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING UPSTAIRS???" My dad finally got alarmed at the repeated sounds of violence in my room.

"THERE'S A BLOODY COCKROACH IN MY ROOM!!!" I screamed, as I aimed another whack at it.

=@*BANG!!!!*@=

"SO KILL IT LAH!!!"

"THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO!" I screamed as I aimed another shot at it.

=@*BANG!!!!*@=

"Kill it for her lah!" My brother said to my dad downstairs, as I whacked the cupboard again.
"Before she destroys half the house!"

My dad was now torn. Should he quietly lie downstairs, enjoy his beer and his documentaries, or wrench himself from his comfort zone and make the trudging journey upstairs before I broke all the furniture upstairs for one dumb roach?

=@*BANG!!!!*@=

The next bang apparently convinced him that I would potentially wreck my entire bedroom suite [and his] to kill that miserable insect. He goes upstairs to my room, where I'm holding the broomstick a la Kill Bill waiting for the roach to make a move.

"WHAT'S ALL THE FUSS HERE???" Moody as a grizzly awakened in the middle of hibernation.

"HE WON'T COME OUT FROM THE CUPBOARD!!!"

"AAAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!" Probably by now regretting that the expensive education he got for his daughter didn't include a module on Confrontation and Elimination of Cockroaches 1001, he grabbed the broom from my hands, swept the cockroach onto its bristles, and then in a very manly and barbaric way, grabbed the thing WITH HIS BARE HANDS. EEEEEWWWWWWWWW.

With a very moody look on his face [hoping to get back to his beer] he walks downstairs with the roach still trapped in his hands. AND THEN LETS IT GO IN THE FRONT BALCONY.

"AAARGGHH!!! WHY DID U LET IT GO THERE???" I scream.

"Why?? What's wrong?? He's out of the house what!"

My brother said it for me. "But from the front balcony...... It could fly back into her room, right?"

I slept that night with the windows closed and the broom by my bedside.

---

*The old post, originally posted on Wed, 3rd march...

*wryly* my little tagboard has apparently been hacked. Nur Farlyana, Sha, Yana whoever you are, that is not an IRC channel, doomo arigatou, it's a tag board for people to leave comments. This is not IRC.com, this is a blog. And btw, do I know you at all?

My blog must been getting a little bit of notoriety to attract people out of nowhere. Hehehe... The next Xiaxue in the making?? [yea right.. no way I'm turning my blog pink... ]

So continues the week of non-paid leave... From Mon to Sat, I would only have worked 2 days in the week, and spent the rest of the time blogging, surfing, and playing around with Freehand. Pray hope my dad never sees this blog and reinforce his idea that I am The Ultimate Bum.

Thus let me entertain you with funny episodes this week:

- Dad went to Johor and came back with Kill Bill 1 and 2. [pirated DVDs of course] And then spent the entire Wed night whistling some song from Vol 1 over and over again, leading me to entertain notions of hacking him up with a Hattori Hanzo while dressed in a yellow track suit.

- My mother is rather predictable in her ways. On Wed night when my tuition had been cancelled, Dad and I met her at J8 for dinner. Since there was a sale at J8, she went shopping. Since Dad is a man, and shopping is the exclusive arena of women, Dad happily left me and mom together shopping while he went home to watch Kill Bill 2.

Mom, in typical female fashion, agonized over whether to buy something at the sale, then followed me to a neighbourhood store to buy some shirts for herself, checked out prices at a shop next to it, went back to the sale, agonized further, tried it on in the dressing room [insisting I stood guard because it was one of those temporary cubicles with the drawcurtains and she was afraid somebody would suddenly draw the curtain open] came out, still deciding whether to buy, walked one round around the sale area, and finally decided to buy it.

Now I know where i inherited my shopping genes from.

After all that, naturally we're tired, so we head to Mac's to get ice-cream [and she stops at Bits N' Pieces to think about whether to buy a pair of earrings]. After getting my Coke Float, all I wanted to do was to walk home happily sipping the stuff, but she announces she's tired and wants to sit down. The last thing I wanted to do now was to sit down with my mum for one hour while she asked me inane questions about my life, like when I was going to mop the house again, so I pulled my trump card:

"American Idol's starting now."

"What??? Why didn't you tell me??" Energy from her ice cream cone suddenly surges into her legs and she hurriedly trots off in front of me, while I trail behind her with her shopping bags and her working bag.

Oh yea. I know me mum all right.

---

A letter to Someone...

I'm writing this to you, but I don't know if you'll ever read it.

Do you remember the first time we met? We were so shy around each other, and didn't know how to react to the other party. We hemmed and hawed around until we reached a level of familiarity that allowed us to be comfortable with each other.

Those early days were carefree and easygoing. We didn't have to worry about friends, parents or society, we just did our own thing together, hoping that somehow things would come out right. Those early days in school when we knew each other, we went through all the tests, exams and other problems of adolescence, and we overcome them all. Although we didn't know each other very well then, I thought, maybe this would be a longlasting relationship.

How wrong I was.

Slowly, but surely, we went further apart. You had your own thing, and you were too busy to hang out with me anymore. You hardly called, or SMS-ed, except to tell me that you were busy, and that you couldn't meet up. Even when I called you, you pushed me aside, saying you were busy. You said you'd call, but you didn't. We met less and less often, until almost none at all, and you only called when you were in dire need of my help, otherwise you wouldn't call me at all.

Well, I say enough already. I don't see why we should continue the relationship in this way. Obviously I'm not important enough for you to make time in your busy schedule for me. So why should I wait around for you to make a move? I'd rather be with someone that needs me, rather than be on call for someone who will only call me when necessary.

I think it's best that we just stop this charade now. This is obviously going nowhere, and I think it's best we both found other people in our lives.

Tell your mother I quit, and I hope you find another tuition teacher.

---

Ok now just how many of you out there thought I was writing that to someone???? Hahahahahahahaha....... The idea came to me, because this week, a lot of my students suddenly had to cancel or postpone tuition. Which means that I was on 'enforced leave' for the past 3 days. *sigh* The bad thing was that one of them was supposed to pay me this week........ *sob* no money till next week... And because of make up lessons i'll be missing the open house at LaSalle this weekend.....argh....

Well, the good thing is that it allowed me more time to draw, and surf net, and be a total slacker, as usual. Here's a new one:


[btw with flickr, you can also post comments on the picture, by clicking on it. So you can comment on whether you like, don't like, or blardy hate the picture.]

It's meant to be wallpaper, and I tried it on my PC, but the bad thing is that most of my icons are on the left side, so it totally blocked out the picture... *tiao* what a waste...

And yea, I do want one, even though I'll have to buy Mac software to put on my PC. Haiz..... and even though Creative Zen's is more functional, what with the PC compatibility and the FM radio...

Hmmm, if I do get into NIE, maybe I shld blow my first paycheck [or two] on an ibook? Hahaha... tempting even though my old IBM still works fine... I think...

And speaking of NIE, another has joined the teaching course. Welcome, Turtle, who will sign his contract on Sat. So [hopefully, cross your fingers] i now have 2 friends going into NIE in the same year, and hopefully we can all get hostel together.

But then, I haven't even received the letter for an interview. *haiz*

Cross your fingers and see how lah. N hope my luck with schools in the past extends to my luck with NIE.

Cramps and Frogs

Times are, I hate being a woman. That wracking, menstrual cramp at the onset of the wrong time of the month makes me hate being a woman every time. Fortunately for me, I don't get it badly every month, like I did in secondary school, but every time I do, I seriously consider either 1) tying my tubes or 2) getting a sex change and 3) murdering every male in sight.

Fortunately for me and half of Singapore's male population ( and some of the Parisien one last year ) none of these suggestions were ever seriously implemented.

*Groans and whines of self pity* Why in hell wasn't I born a male....... I could probably live with societal expectations of masculinity, ( seeing as how some of my male friends think I currently live up to it pretty well in my present state ) deal with NS and having a hard-on every morning, ANYTHING better than this.............

What an end to my sudden day off. Having 2 students cancelled for the day, I made my way to the AMK library to indulge in comic book readings, one of my favourite holiday activities which I hardly indulge in. ( Incidentally, For Better or For Worse is a great strip chronicling the adventures of the Patterson family living in Canada as they deal with kids, work, menopause, university and death. In other words, all of the things that make life. )

The afternoon was thus peacefully spent in the slightly-too-cold-for-comfort library reading For Better or Worse, and Cathy comics. ( All those working now, I sense an aura of animosity... )

The bad part came later. I had found out in the library that my least favourite house guest had paid me a visit again, and thus the usual chaos was to be expected. I thought, however, that since the last few visits weren't so bad, I should be able to make it through this one.

Oh flippin' god, how wrong I was. This was one of the BAD ones.

Pain, wrackin' pain, slight nausea at the sight and thought of food, ( and to make matters worse, the fragrant scent of Rotiboy was just a few metres away from us. Oh, cruel, cruel world... ) giddiness when I tried to stand, and more pain, and a persistent cold sweat, even when I was finally in the cab, and the aircon was blowing at me.

ITAI! ONAGA GA TOTEMO ITAI DESU!!! SEKAI NI ZENBU OTOKO SHINE KUDASAI!!!!! KIRAI! KIRAI! TOTEMO KIRAI DESU!!!

So anyway, I managed to grab a cab, stagger upstairs, n when I finally entered my living room, collapsed onto the floor, jeans and all, hugged my backpack for comfort, and went comatose there.

My family being what they are, they enquired once to make sure that I was alive and breathing, and pretty much left me alone for the rest of the night. ( My cramps are known to the world )

Anyway, when I finally regained consciousness, my bro bid me a belated birthday, and handed me a frog.

Yes, a frog.



Er, my apologies. Well, it seems a friend of his had got it from overseas, probably Thailand or Indonesia by the looks of it. What you're supposed to do is to take the stick from its mouth, rub it along the grooves of its back, and it makes a croaking sound, like a frog. A mating call, for all I know.



Yea, something like that.

Cool little fellow, ain't he?

And a new illustration again: [I don't know what's up with me... I keep getting tons of inspiration these days... better take advantage of whatever I can... :p ]



There's something about frustration and anxiety that's just very... artistically inspiring. No wonder all truly great artists were stone broke one way or another... All that anxiety and frustration over their finances made them paint and paint and paint...

The One Moment...

Another of my Write Wateva Crap things....

Some years ago, I watched a Japanese movie on TV which had an interesting concept about life after death.

In the movie, people who died ( or rather, Japanese people who died ) would enter an interview room right after death. Here, they would be able to choose ONE moment in their lives which they would want to remember forever. The crew would then assemble a sort of movie set to recreate the moment, and then the deceased would be able to live in that moment forever, all other memories having been erased. If you couldn't remember any moments, you had one week in which to view a video tape library of your life, to help you remember.

People varied in their choices of the ONE moment in their lives. One girl at first thought of the first time she had sat a rollercoaster at Disneyland, then decided on a time she was lying in her mother's embrace. Another man chose the first time he was on an aeroplane. ( This was those old warplanes where your head was exposed to the wind ) Another old woman chose the time she pirouetted for her brother, dressed in her favourite red shoes.

The hard part for many was choosing the ONE moment, but one man was rather poignant. Upon viewing the tapes, he realised that there had never been that ONE moment in his life. A typical Japanese bureaucrat, he watched tape after tape in his life, only to realise there was nothing in it for him to remember. Not his graduation, not his job, not even his marriage, which presumably was arranged.

How sad can that be? You live to a ripe old age, only to realise there was nothing in it for you?

But then again, how many people have that ONE moment in their lives? The ONE where suddenly, the world opens up before you, and you taste life in all its entirety. And you LOVE it.

The one high point in your otherwise humdrum existence. The one moment that you truly feel alive. The one moment that you'd want to relive over and over again for eternity.

The poor man couldn't find any. And then that's when he found out that those who could not choose were instead designated to work as crew in that halfway building between life and death, that state of purgatory, helping people choose the ONE before you could move on yourself.

I suppose if I couldn't decide on a ONE moment and I wanted to keep all my memories, that wouldn't be such a bad thing. But to remember for the rest of eternity what a boring loser you were?

Sigh.

To hold eternity in a moment.... Is it truly possible? Does the ONE moment really exists in everyone's lives? A ONE moment to be remembered and cherished forever, and which could never be surpassed by any other memory?

Maybe at our ages, we're still relatively young. ( Yes, in terms of an expected human lifespan of 80-90 years, we are young. ) We are still at the appetiser section, making way for the main courses. We haven't really tasted true pain, true love, ( Maybe some of you will disagree with me on this. :p ) true hardship, true luxury.

True life, in other words. And of course, at the end, true death.

So if you feel that you've experienced that ONE moment already, good for you. Remember that forever, for it will make the rest of your life pale in comparison.

---

Anyway there seems to be a conspiracy going on between my two kids. Yesterday one kid postponed on account of a CA on the same day, n another kid just fell ill today, and cancelled as well. So I suddenly have a day off, and I'm not quite sure what to do with it. :p

The laundry's waiting in the machine, though that will only take me a few minutes to hang up. I've checked all me mail, uploaded a few images, [more Freehand practices!] and read all my blogs and online comics.

Man. I truly have too much time on my hands today, and I don't know what to do with it all.

Nah, I do know. i'll go to the library, return and exchange some books, maybe do some sketching there, if I actually find space, get some food to eat, take a stroll through AMK imagining I'm 11 again, and remembering the thrill of being allowed outside by myself for the first time. *chortle* how young I was then... Nowadays I go so many places by myself it's ceased to be a thrill and become something of a bore. Though I have to admit it's more convenient sometimes... ( How many of you want to follow me to Kino and watch me browse books and comics and Copic markers for hours? )

Anyway, here's a sample of my latest practice on Freehand:



I'm getting slightly better on it, but still the thought of drawing the human face ( albeit a manga-ized version ) still makes me wanna scream. Can you imagine the no of strokes needed, not to mention the preciseness needed to perfectly express emotion? *stoned*

Anyway, laundry calls....

Blogging Earns Money

Holy fish. The first local celebrity blogger. Xiaxue is now endorsing a brand of t-shirts called LocalBrand. I truly wonder if she's getting paid for it, because if she is, she'll be the first celebrity blogger endorser.

Famous through a blog. WTF?? I better go incorporate my blog nick right now, before someone steals it from under me!

Anyway, she's not the first blogger making money from her blog. [although hers is a more indirect way of doing so, and it's not disclosed whether she is making money from the endorsement or not] The infamous London callgirl Belle Du Jour compiled the contents of her blog into a book, which is now selling at Kino. For those who don't read her blog, the book is about her experiences as a London callgirl, the strange clients she gets, and the conflicts with her RL relationships. What makes it entertaining is her highly witty way of writing, so for a sneak peek, read her blog already.

So now, blogging is apparently the new way to make money through the Internet. Write a controversial blog, get famous, and wait for all the book deals and the clothing deals to come in. Imagine what some of Singapore's famous bloggers can do:

Xiaxue : T-shirts, [done] kinky, naughty stuff.
Mister Miyagi : Action figures. The Wise Venerable Sensei, complete with white outfit and beard.
Mr Brown : Coffee Mugs, local news magazines
Popaghandi : Anything Mac-affiliated [sadly, her account has been suspended, so there goes her very excellent blog. Anyway, she's a Mac afficionado]

[Note: for some of these, you'd really have to read their blogs to get the joke]
[Note note: I know there are other good Singaporean blogs out there, but these are just the ones I know of]

Here's a good money-making opportunity none of us ever thought about! What could some of the bloggers on my friends list endorse??

From the order in my favourites folder:

Quetzal : scuba and diving equipment. Also underwater camera and photographic equipment, maybe from Sony, so that she can take pictures underwater, and then send them to her email, from which she will display the pictures on her blog.

Goldfish : jazz CDs and jazz clubs around Singapore. Especially swing music and clubs with enough space for her to swing around.

Yennhellbound : unofficial spokesperson for whichever school she is teaching in. If she gets famous enough, in the future, schools will beg her to teach there, so that she will publicise them in her blog.

Slayer : again, unofficial spokesperson for Murdoch and vegan food providers. And for the book, He Just Isn't Into You.

And of course,

Boredslacker : links to tuition centres, tuition agencies, and all kinds of online comic resources. hehehe.... plus of course, my own range of boredslackerTM tshirts.....

That'll be good, won't it? ;)

Whoosh... back again after doing a Cinderella and vacuuming and mopping the house...

During which the wires for the vacuum got tangled up with the fan in my room. And guess what happened when I pulled the vacuum towards me, not knowing that had happened.

*CRASH*

The fan comes crashing to the floor, spewing out hundreds of years of dirt from the blades to MY BEDROOM FLOOR. MY FRESHLY VACUUMED BEDROOM FLOOR.

KITANAI. SAITEI KITANAI.

*grumble grumble grumble*

Incidentally, I went to Kushinbo with DF on Wed for lunch. ( Very very good buffet. Totally worth it. :p ) Anyone know the name of the Japanese paper steamboat dish? The one where they put the ingredients into a little paper bowl on top of a little burner?

No one?

The name of the paper steamboat is kaminabe.

Tell me whether that sounds really wrong to you guys. :p

---

And a follow up to the mouse cartoon last time:

This is why illustrating with a mouse is so difficult. Because the PC and mouse don't always get along.



Hope it isn't too small this time and you guys can see it...

I just found out: Belle Du Jour has finally come out with her book! Check it out at Amazon!

And if you don't know who she is, check out her very infamous blog here. Dang, I'm glad to see she's back on the blogosphere. :)

CONFOUND IT. I've been running into no end of problems trying to do up an archives section for my GTS cartoon. The problem goes like this:

1. Open page.
2. Edit page.
3. Save page.
4. View page.
5. NO F**KING CHANGES!!!!!!!!!! KUSO KUSO KUSO!!!!

*breathe deeply. breathe deeply* It might be a good time for me to consider seriously learning PHP soon... even though the way I hear it, THAT might eventually kill me, or cause me to kill my computer soon...

So *shameless self-promotion* check out the comic so that I feel that I'm not vomitting blood over my keyboard for nothing. :p This week GTS gets her first warning from the 4 Small Hell Kings..... ( I think you have to translate that into Chinese in order to make it sound nicer... )

Anyway, I've joined the Mozilla movement and gotten the Firefox browser. It's not a new breed of animal, it's an alternative browser to Internet Explorer and Netscape. For one, it's MUCH more secure than IE, it has less holes for hackers to exploit, and also more security warnings. Also, there's the much hyped-about tabbed function. Instead of opening window after window in IE, you can open several websites and they'll open up as tabs in the same window. That's good when you want to surf, check email, chat and download all at once. They even transfer all your links and favourites from IE to Firefox, though they'll rearrange the order they were arranged in.

Yea, Firefox rules. :p

Oh yea, new webcomic to recommend: The Pet Professional is a sleek comic about an assassin who, get this, only kills pets. Updated every Wednesday, and good for a chuckle. Heh. Check out this week's one where he traps a poor hapless black cat. ( I got a soft spot for cats, if you all don't know already )

To talk... and to 'talk'

I've decided that going against the flow of your parents is a decidedly mentally taxing thing. Especially if they utterly don't approve of, and can't understand why you would do such a thing.

Tues night, my mother wanted to 'talk' to me about my future, or what she perceives as my lack thereof. ( 'talk' in our relationship meaning she will talk and I will play dumb ) So she talked, and talked and talked.

The 'talk' of course caught the attention of my father, who waited till she left, and I was lying in my room, and then walked in for a father-daughter 'talk'.

So we talked, and talked and talked, until finally I told my father that one of the reasons why I didn't do anything about full time employment was the feeling that I would be missing out on other things in life, and the possibility I may never fulfil what I want. I neglected to mention that these dreams included drawing my own comic or selling my designs.

I also said that it was because I was too unsure last year of what I really wanted in life. And that conflicting advice was coming from too many directions for me to handle.

What I didn't say was that one reason why I didn't sign up for teaching was that it was something they wanted me to do. 'Wanted' here meaning that they were firm that I should join teaching and that not doing so would be a sign of an utter lack of clear judgment on my part.

If I were to join teaching, I wanted it to be my own decision. Something made without influence of my parents. Because too many times, in critical junctions in my education, they always pushed me in the direction they taught I should go. They didn't think about what I wanted, they didn't think about what I could do, ( Imagine me in engineering ) and they certainly didn't think much about my opinions about my life.

All done for 'the good of your future'. Ain't that the usual excuse of parents everywhere manipulating their children's futures?

[ok, understandably, that last statement was a little harsh]

Then again, it was an insight that only hit me when my father said, insistently, "I don't understand why you don't want to find a full-time job." The thought wafted in my mind, because you want me to. And together with my insecurities, my procrastinations, my idiocies, was another deciding factor in this unstable line.

Which also explains why, everytime I thought positively about the idea of teaching, and became relatively decided on that point, I would be turned off immediately when they started 'talking' about my future.

Nature vs nurture, the old argument. How much of ourselves is really unique to us? The spark of something different that was put into us from creation and would be subject to no change by any outside party?

How much of us is really the ghost of our parents, working its way into our soul, and controlling our every movements?

How much of the spark can this ghost smother?

---

I guess I'm a little pissed off with them these days. The decision about my tuition seems to have torn a crack in the parents-daughter relationship since my graduation. With good reason, too, I suppose. Not to mention my mother was menopausal tonight, and at 12 midnight, made me go up to my toilet and wash my sink. *duh* at 12 midnight I tell you......

Naturally there are other factors causing the crack as well. I have to admit that a portion of the fault belongs to me as well, for promises made and unkept, [besides the housework] but it's my blog, so you naturally get a biased view of the situation. :p

But well, all the feelings on my end are true at least.

Now let God decide whether I should become a teacher. I applied and submitted it yesterday, and now it's up to the Ministry to call me, interview me, and assess whether I'm worthy of the teaching force.

But even if I do enter, I shall always remember the humble grass, and take it as my mentor in resilience.

Observe, for as strong as the winds blow, the grass will bend, sometimes so low as to almost touch the ground, but it will never be uprooted.

---

He presented her with a little paper bag. "Happy birthday." he said, smiling.

"What is it? Don't tell me it's jewellery?" She said, seeing the brand of a jewellery on the bag.

"No, I know you don't wear jewellery." he replied, but would not say more.

She took the little wrapped up box out of the bag. It was a cubish box, wrapped in blue paper. She felt around the box for any edges sticking out, and shook it gently, to see if she could hear what it was. She had all the enthusiasm of a child discovering christmas presents for the first time.

"What is it? A toy? A clock? A watch?" and still he remained silent, pretending not to hear.

After much shaking and prodding, she finally opened it. It was a watch, brown leather straps, but it was the watchface that caught her attention.

She squealed with delight. On the face was the picture of a black and white cat, staring blurly at the figuring of a purple spotted cat. It was cute, it was delightful, and it was something she might have coveted for herself, but never bought, because of the price, and the reluctant logic that one doesn't need that many watches.

"Thanks!!" she repeated over and over, gingerly taking the watch out of the box and trying it on her wrist at once.

---

To get my mind off yesterday, here's some digicartoons...



What I would really like to say to my parents



An experiment in Freehand, but if any product designers out there want to buy this design... I don't come cheap... hahahaha....

In case you guys haven't had the chance to hear it, yea I did it.


I signed up with NIE.


Maybe GTS will have a new sidekick soon...... NSGTT.... Not So Great Teacher Tan......


After ( another ) night of lecturing from my parents about my future, or lack thereof, I filled up and submitted the form in a fit of pique.


Maybe finally I decided to just let God decide.


Maybe I'm turning back to Catholicism.


Maybe I'm getting more holy.


Maybe a car will skid across the road and knock me down tomorrow. My parents will sue the driver for insane amounts of money to foot the hospital bills, and compensate them for the loss of income I would have earned over a long, fruitful teaching career, of which I had applied for, because I was such a loving and dedicated teacher to my students, and of course that was my plan all along, but now that's all ruined because some reckless, rich bastard with too much horsepower decided to take a spin down Bishan road. My mother will weep fulsomely in court, my father will glare black daggers at the driver until he dies of the stare, and my brother will stand at the head of my comatose body in the hospital and ask the nurses to take care of me well. My friends will all stand around me, and talk of all the good times we had together, so that somehow my comatose body will hear their voices, despite the possible brain damage, and miraculously heal itself in order to have a joyful reunion with life. The money from the lawsuit will pay for the physiotherapy treatments for the rest of my life, because my friend the physiotherapist will charge me lower fees, ( i'm hoping anyway ) and also cover my living expenses for the great majority of my living years. Being the savvy ex-Bizader that I am, I will wisely invest this money, and thus, become filthy rich on all that passive income while the guy who knocked me down will rot in jail, forever regretting that one fateful day.


And all this came about because:


You are a Linguistic Thinker

Linguistic thinkers:
Tend to think in words, and like to use language to express complex ideas.
Are sensitive to the sounds and rhythms of words as well as their meanings.
Like linguistic thinkers, Leonardo made meticulous descriptions in his journals. He also made an effort to learn Latin - a foreign language


Other Linguistic Thinkers includeWilliam Shakespeare, Sylvia Plath, Anne FrankCareers which suit Linguistic thinkers includeJournalist, Librarian, Salesperson, Proof-reader, Translator, Poet, Lyricist

Explains why I like to blog. ( Wow, I have the same thinking method as Sylvia Plath. Wait a minite.............. )


Then check out this one:

You are a Musical Thinker Musical thinkers: Tend to think in sounds, and may also think in rhythms and melodies Are sensitive to the sounds and rhythms of words as well as their meanings. Feel a strong connection between music and emotionsLike many musical thinkers, Leonardo loved to sing, and had a fine voice

Other Musical Thinkers includeMozart, John Lennon, Jimi HendrixCareers which suit Musical Thinkers includeMusician, Music teacher, Sound engineer, Recording technician


Oh god, now it's John Lennon. Wait a minute, why am I associated with all these creative minds who either got murdered or commited suicide?


Anyway you can do the quiz here.


But anyway, yea.


I signed up.

In response to Slayer's tag... I always go for the book, not the movie. :p

Sappy blog today... but I'm in a sappy mood...

Somewhere only we know...

[lyrics are Somewhere Only We Know, and We Might As Well be Strangers by Keane. Hopes and Fears is a great album. Get it!]

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand

I met up with a group of friends for my birthday tonight. ( This entire weekend has been devoted to that purpose, but well... ) This particular group of friends, having known each other since sec school [and 1 from pri sch] is the longest running one I have amongst all my friends.

I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

We grew up with each other in the compound of our secondary school, where we ran around the basketball court everyday, and studied in Macdonald's after school. We hung out in each other's classes and our comic books were interchangeable property between us. For some of us, we interacted with each other more times than we interacted with our classmates.

I don't know your face no more
Or feel the touch that I adore

But paths will diverge over time. Another girl and I went to JC, while the rest to different polys. After the Os, we literally got thrown to the 4 corners of Singapore, though we managed to get together for each other's birthday and whenever possible. We tried to make it a habit to have at least one massive gathering every year. ( Usually held at my house, with pizza delivery for dinner. Now the rest of you know where that came from }

I don't know your face no more
It's just a place I'm looking for

It was clear, however, that we were unable to meet as frequently as we could in sec school, and after that, it became increasingly hard to do so. Some of us had As to study for, while others had other lives altogether in Poly. Common conversation topics dwindled. Our paths would still meet from time to time, but the forks between them became wider and wider.

I don't know your thoughts these days
We're strangers in an empty space

Tonight, as we met again, it struck me on the way home just how wide apart those paths were now. Some are in Australia studying, one stays frequently in KL on business, another has a job that takes up most of her free time, with its unstable schedule. And my tuition at night prevents me from meeting them after office hours.

We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in another world

Saddening to think of how far apart we have become, from our days in sec sch when we were so close. Split up into 3 different countries, different priorities, different goals in life. The junctions in our life where we meet becoming less and less frequent, and the distances between them wider and wider. Not only that, but because of modern communication, we become more nonchalant of this distance. It's ok if we don't meet, because there's always SMS, MSN, email, phones etc. The thought that we can communicate instantly when we want to somehow decreases the need to keep in contact. We are under the illusion that the other party is actually near to us, when actually she may be in another continent altogether.

We might as well be strangers in another town
We might as well be living in another time
We might as well be strangers

Is this always the case? Maybe in terms of accessibility it is, but in terms of actual relationship building? Since we think that the other party is always within reach, we tend to forget that there is a distance between us. We go through our daily lives, each of us growing and changing in our own way, such that when we finally meet, it's almost astounding that we still recognise each other. Did she always talk like that? Was she always interested in this? Is this the same person I used to know?

And if you have a minute why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?

And yet, thankfully, at our age, there is enough of the old spark left to ignite us. A laugh, a hug, and soon enough we are walking down the path together, arm in arm, like we used to do. Like we never left each other in the first place. Perhaps that's the beauty of old friendships. Even after separating for great distances, it doesn't really take much to recreate the same connection again. After all, the knots were never completely untied in the first place. They only became slack for a while. It doesn't take more than one gentle pull to tighten it again.

This could be the end of everything

Thankfully, for now, the pulls that tightened our knots have only been gentle ones. What if one day the ropes are jerked hard? Will it take the injury [or worse] of one of us to realise just what a precious thing it is we have here? That no forms of modern communication can ever take the place of sitting down with that person and watching her glow with her smile, hearing her laugh, and feel the friendly slap of her hand on yours?

So why don't we go

On the first hour of the 24th year of my life on this earth, this piece is dedicated to all the friends I've known before. To the past, the present, and the future ones I have yet to meet. To those still near, to those far away. To those who are about to leave, to those who will always stay. May the ropes that bind us stay firm, may we never lose sight of each other on our individual paths, and may we always be able to laugh together.

Somewhere only we know?

I left my stomach in Billy Bombers......

And indeed I did. After a dinner with the FWFCers consisting of mainly burgers and fries ( what I call an Atkins' Nightmare ) and a vanilla milkshake to boot. Uggggghhhhhhh..........

Well, if I'm suffering now from indigestion, at least I suffered for a good reason. ( Can you imagine getting indigestion from, say, too much limpy lettuce leaves?? Bad enough you have to eat those things, but that you'd get indigestion from them as well??? )

*BURP* Excuse me.......

And thank ye, for the [usual] kino vouchers and the 2 CDs. :) :) :) Your vouchers will go towards the Harry Potter 6 Fund and the Keane CD is amazing....... the lyrics are.... comfortable. The sort of songs that you make you feel like you're trapped in a lovers' caress, lying on a soft bed of grass with endless blue skies above you.

Sigh............ I miss Europe........ again........

Currently listening to: Untitled 1

A house on fire
A wall of stone
A door that once was open
An empty face and empty bones

Who ate your heart?
You're cold inside
You're not the one I hoped for
I'll see you on the other side
I'll see you on the other side

If only life was such that I could do nothing but lay in endless sleep, with this music constantly in my ears...

Life at 30

For lack of any tangible event in my life to blog about, let's try thinking of weird stuff, the kind of stuff that pops up in your head but is quickly dismissed with a thought. [If nothing, it'll help me to hone my writing skills...] Today's thought that's been floating around in my head is: What if all of us died at 30?

Firstly, let's define this more clearly. Let's take it that humans have always died at 30. Every generation since Adam dies on the last day of their 30th year on Earth. [This takes away the scenario where everyone from our generation onwards dies at the age of 30] What kind of society would have evolved from this?

Children would mature earlier, in order to lengthen the number of childbearing days they have on earth. Hence, most likely our kids would reach puberty at say, 10, giving them 20 years to give birth to and raise their kids to a suitable adult age. Early developers would reach puberty at 8.

Premarital sex would be encouraged, and approved of. Considering that each human only has on average 20 years of childbearing years, all efforts have to be undertaken in order to make sure the population maintains itself. Thus, humans will multiply like rabbits. We'd become parents at 12, grandparents at 24, and hopefully, before we die, see our great-grandchildren at 29.

Would there still be menopause? Most likely not, since it would reduce the childbearing years of a woman. [I'm assuming that the human body here dies at the peak of their physical health, rather than a rapid degeneration]

How would this affect society in general? The rate of change of society would be even higher, since new generations of humans are being produced every 12 or so years. Our values, our ideals would change at a greater rate than now. The societal structures and hierarchies we have now might not exist in such a society, since some, like the monarchy of England, have survived, well, ever since there was an England. They could do this because there was long enough time to indoctrinate an entire generation to their ideals. Here, there wouldn't be enough time, because there won't be time to properly brainwash each generation to their ideals, and the founders would die off long before they had the chance to firmly entrench their ideals.

The rate of technological innovation would not likely be high. Some of our scientific innovations took their inventors years of tireless research in order to achieve. Without the time needed to complete their research, it is likely that these scientists would not see many of their research realized. Our society may linger longer in the Middle Ages because of this lack of change.

However, at the same time, this slow rate of change would be balanced by the fast rate of change in other sectors. Since humans have a much shorter lifespan in this world, it is likely that they will go all out to achieve their dreams, since it is clear that the time they have to do so is severely limited. Children will be taught independence from an early age, and will start chasing their goals early.

Mental, intellectual and emotional development will also be accelerated. Being independent from a young age forces young kids to quickly learn to take care of themselves, and to hurriedly choose their goals in life and work towards achieving them. Life suddenly becomes all that much more precious, because of its lack of it.

Would it be a better world? Not necessarily. But it will be different.

It's getting hot in here...

I wish it was the hot as referred to in the song, but unfortunately......

Anyone notice the heat these few days? Put up all those sweaty hands, everyone. After the torrential monsoons we had in place of snow during last Dec/Jan, we now welcome the tropical version of summer.

Unfortunately, the tropics are already hot right? So what happens when you add extra heat on top of that? *pant pant pant*

For those who spend the whole day in the air-conditioned comfort of your offices ( Or alternatively, the artic wasteland of your offices ) you probably don't feel the heat as much as I do. The sun bakes me to a golden crispy brown every day I walk outside, the same crispy brown that our grass is turning into. There goes the green Singapore that the gahmen is so proud of.

As I walk to my tuition kid's house in the afternoon, I feel my skin shrivelling and cracking, each individual skin cell combusting and dying in the presence of such intense heat. And unlike Perth ( Where the Slayer arrived to 40deg heat ) the humidity just loves it. Everytime you leave the house, all those greedy little moisture molecules in the air run to you like piranhas to a leg of ham.

Air-con is no comfort. Because if you walk into aircon immediately from the heat, the sudden drop in temperature makes you reel, and gives you headaches. Ok, for me anyway. So your head throbs the whole time you're in the aircon. Then when you go out into the heat again, your skull will suddenly decide to expand and you get a bruce-banner-to-hulk headache.

And indeed in such circumstances, I feel myself undergoing a hulk-like transformation. With my afternoon kid, I'm dullish and drowsy in the heat ( "For the rest of the lesson, write your compo" ) For my evening kid, I'm snappish and irritable ( "NO! FOR CRUX'S SAKE NO! THAT'S NOT A REFLECTION!!!" ) [note: I say 'crux' because it's not nice to swear in front of kids. I leave you guys to guess what word that could be]

And when back home, it's straight to the shower. Aaaaaaaaaaa................

Ironically enough, all that heat in the afternoon means that the night is really cool, and dry, like the whole of Singapore is under airconditioning. So now I feel clean, dry and comfortable. *sigh*

Why can't it be like that in the afternoon? ( Miss London summers... )

Internet is slow....... No one's updating blogs or comics..... sigh...... Maybe the heat has sucked everyone's inspiration......

Of hearts, bouquets, and.. biscuits?

2 whole days to blog about... Phew... bear with me people...

So I think I told most of you the joke about what I was gonna do on V-day. Yes, I had a date with a guy. He's 12 and needed help in his English. :p

Then on that day itself, I GOT STOOD UP. And he had to get his MOTHER to do it for him. *tragic pose* Oh how sad my life can get... when even my tuition kid doesn't want to see me on Valentine's Day...

[Slayer's theory is that maybe the kid himself had a date, but I doubt my life has become THAT sad]

So suddenly my plans to escape all the sickly, lovey dovey on V-day with my tuition got dashed, and my night was suddenly free, and vulnerable to the innumerable roses and heart-shaped balloons crowding the streets.

I ended up in town with the Slayer first, walking and shopping, while thinking of as many songs about breakups, men-who-are-jerks, love-hurts songs we could. Instead of buying roses to console myself, I ended up with a whole buncha books instead. [unfortunately, the MPH in J8 is closing down and all their books were 30% off. There went my CNY takings.......] Most apt to the occassion was the one Slayer insisted on getting for me for my birthday:



"It's very inspirational! I swear my life was changed when I read this book!"

Uh huh. I think my friend is trying to give me some kindly advice about Dragonfly......

We shopped at Kino, borders and Times while looking for her elusive US weekly, [Times bookshop has 20% off all books for Roosters upon producing valid ID. Just digressing] so I also ended up buying a coupla books. Bleah. Call it a form of monetary consolance for V-day, and at least the books will last a lot longer than a buncha roses.

After that, was dinner with Candle [many thanks for blowing off your colleagues to meet me. Heh.] and then coffee at Coffee Bean Scotts. You'd think that in Scotts, we'd be able to avoid the throngs of dovey-eyed lovers walking up and down Orchard. NO LOR. They still entered Scotts to show off their obscene bunches of floral vaginas in our faces. [Er, if you're wondering why I wrote that, you'd really have to watch the Bachelor, the movie starring Chris O'Donnell.] I enviously watched the women walking in with their significant others, until, GOSH!

Enter: Woman with this HUGE bouquet, that was bigger than her head. And that's not an exaggeration. It was a HUGE bouquet, and had roses, lilies, and a whole lot of other flowers sticking out of a bed of baby's breath, lovingly wrapped with pink and white paper. And of course she was with a guy.

GOSH. BITCH. KONO KUSO ONNA. My grapes became so sour they shrivelled into raisins, and then internally combusted into wine. I suddenly became filled with an urge to water her roses with my double vanilla ceylon latte.

"Wait!" Candle stopped me just as I was picking up my glass "Look at the guy! He's totally NOT CUTE LOR!" And it was true. The girl was pretty. The guy...... well, she could do a whole lot better.

"Well," I shrugged "There must be something she sees in him then."

"Ya, his wallet. That kind of bouquet so big, not cheap leh!"

Hence the hypothesis was formed: That there is an inverse correlation between the size of a girl's bouquet, and the standard of looks of the guy who gave them. I.e, the uglier the guy, the bigger the bouquet of the girl.

Upon testing our hypothesis upon our sample population, [4 other couples who walked into Scotts] we nodded solemnly to each other, and agreed that the hypothesis had been proven. Significantly better-looking guys would be more likely to present women with smaller and smaller bouquets, or even a single stalk of rose.

Explanations for this could be that the less certain the guy was of impressing the girl with his looks, the more he had to make up for it through the things he could buy for her. Hence, the more gifts from a guy to a girl, the more he is uncertain of himself, and the more insecure he is of his chances that the girl with stay with him.

WELL DONE. Hypothesis proven. More research could be done with other products, say chocolates, money, sex....

Ok, let's forget about V-day now....

The next day, [or rather today] had to wake up early to send Slayer and folks to airport, and then wait for Mother to return from Australia. [thankfully, no traffic jams, road accidents, schoolkids running in front of my car, or her parents getting heart attacks in my backseat due to my driving. I even managed to open the car boot. :p]

Mother came back with a bunch of stuff and news from Australia. Grandfolks are fine and well, thank goodness, and there were some goodies passed on to me.

First came the dolphin stuff. Even though my dolphin liking was in, say JC, my mother still firmly had it fixed in her mind that when it came to jewellery, they had to get something with dolphins in it for me, and together with my grandma hunted the jewellery store from top shelf to discount bin hunting for something with dolphins in it, coming up with the following:


A dolphin brooch.


A necklace and matching bracelet.

And then the usual TIM-TAMS!!! 2 new packs of Tia Maria [Convulsing in chocolatey anticipation] and a bunch of Arnott's biscuits, the type with the cream fillings in the middle.

Plus an ang pow from Grandma to make up for the losses incurred at MPH's closing down sale. Although now that I have it, I'm tempted to go back there again. Heeeeeee.............

And other strange things: A leg of ham, for an aunt who's apparently very fond of it, [Ham! of all things!] and a carton of salted eggs for mom, made on the day that she left. [i'm surprised the eggs even made it here uncracked] Then Grandma's FRIDGE MAGNET COLLECTION of all things, because she was gonna throw them away anyway, so she gave them to mom.

And you guys saw the boots I wore for CNY to Quet's house? My mom bought cowboy-like boots there for TWICE THE PRICE. And she said it was CHEAP for those kinda boots. Good heavens...........

And typical of her, one of the first things she said upon entering the kitchen:

"Clean the sink later on! The dirt around the hole got a lot ah!"

Sigh. Welcome back, Mummy.

The Bitter Single's Guide to Vday...

All gals who are single, whether by choice or circumstance, this v-day. Don't you wish you could just crawl up and die? On this fateful feast of St Valentine's, the whole world is celebrating their joyful union with another human being... and you're like the plug that can't find a socket to fit in.

Fret and cry no more. Aki brings you her 10 ways of surviving this V-day:

1) Wear T-shirts with the slogan "80% of all new relationships lead to breakups" and "50% of all marriages end in divorce" and walk around Orchard/Suntec/other potential places where couples may hang out

2) Gather a bunch of other bitter single female friends, choose a restaurant conveniently packed with doe-eyed couples, and proceed to have a loud, rowdy conversation about the jerks that were your exes, and how all men are scum. [actually a group of us did do something like this one year at Suntec, only the conversation revolved around blood, gore and bleeding, and more of us were single then]

3) If you're in the office, and your colleagues are raving over the huge, beautiful ( And hence expensive ) bouquets being sent to them, look over the bouquets, say in a baleful tone, "That's what my ex did before I caught him with THAT SLUT!!!!!" and then start crying uncontrollably. Hopefully your excess tears will have the bonus effect of drowning all those damn roses.

4) Stay at home, watch a movie like Rambo or some action flick with plenty of blood, gore and shooting ( Alternatively, a movie like Days of the Dead may work ) and imagine the faces of happy couples interimposed on all those bodies.

5) Dress sexily, and declare yourself lesbian for this night. If you're not having any luck with the men, maybe you'd have better luck with the women.

6) Go on a shopping spree at a sex shop. If you're not having any luck with the men, maybe you'd do better with yourself. ;p

7) Form a formidable group of bitter single females, who will hog the phonelines to the radio stations the whole day, so as to make sure only breakup songs and bitter love songs will get played, instead of the usual nauseating romantic boyband crap.

8) Sell poisoned roses and laxative-filled chocolates in town and other couple waiting spots. Then cackle when you see all those hapless males waiting for ages outside the female toilets.

9) Stalk your prey at favourite waiting spots like City Hall MRT station. Once you spot a particularly nauseating couple, run up to the guy, and scream in his face, "So THIS is what you mean by working overtime at the office on Valentine's day??? YOU BASTARD!!!! I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN!!!" And run away sobbing, hiding behind a convenient pillar so that you can watch the fun.

and the mother of them all......

10) Stand quietly in one spot until you have made sure that there are enough lovey couples around you. Then suddenly scream at the top of your lungs "ARGH!!!!! I CAN"T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!" and run around bashing up the guys with the bouquets they were about to give, screaming "I HATE YOU!!! I HATE YOU!!! I HATE YOU!!!" Alternatively, you may bring along your own baseball bat for this purpose.

Disclaimer: The author takes no responsibility for any bitter single female that does any of the above.

Hehehe... strangely therapeutic in a way to write such an article.... :p and to attached friends: Don't worry, I won't be hanging around town today. Hahaha...

I actually went to church this Sunday with Dragonfly and despite Hellbound's warnings, NO, lightning from Heaven did not strike me for having licentious thoughts. A few interesting points:

1. I learned that possibly half my old secondary school ( and one guy from his primary school ) goes to Risen Christ. As we were walking in, it was "Hi!" "Hi!" and "Hi!" all around. Well, at least this is not the group that is likely to spread the usual "Who's that guy she's with?" stories around, look at him with curious, mischievous glances or grill him about the exact standing of our relationship. [unlike the reaction I would get from, oh say, someone named after a waxy, light-giving device?]

2. I also learned that this lenten season, the new fashion for Catholics is SIN. That's right, sin. I sin, you sin, he sins, she sins, they sin, we all sin. We are all stinkin', despicable sinners who are unworthy of the great blessings bestowed upon us. Repent now, all thee sinners, so that thou may have a chance of licking the Blessed Toenail.

Ho boy, now THAT is likely to get me struck by lightning.... but really, the sermon was a little too Old Testament for me...

3. Risen Christ has now dispensed with the usual paper books for hymns and missals, and every word during the mass is now projected upon the cathedral walls with state of the art projectors, using powerpoint slides. And, this is coming from him, mind you, in the slide used for the Holy Communion, the wafer that's supposed to represented the Body of Christ looks like a half eaten hamburger.

Keke that's all for now.... Gotta go now... will blog again if I do make it through this love-puking day.

Love Quizzes Explain All

What do you do when you don't know what you're doing wrong with your love life, and you need cheap, free advice to help you?

You go on an online quiz rampage. Mwahahahha...... [thanks to krystal for starting me off on the first one. :p ]

Firstly, what's wrong with me? What am I like in the eyes of men?

Men See You As Choosy Men notice you light years before you notice them You take a selective approach to dating, and you can afford to be picky You aren't looking for a quick flirt - but a memorable encounter It may take men a while to ask you out, but it's worth the wait How Do Men See You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

So who are all these guys noticing me light years before I notice them? [cease with the obvious rejoinders, please]

So guys.... quick ask me out... it'll be a memorable encounter... You won't regret it, because:

Guys Like That You're Sensitive And not in that "cry at a drop of a hat" sort of way You just get most guys - even if you're not trying to Guys find it is easy to confide in you and tell you their secrets No wonder you tend to get close quickly in relationships! What Do Guys Like About You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

See? I have my attractive points. :p Come on, guys, I'm a good catch... I'm the:

You Are A Professional Girlfriend! You are the perfect girlfriend - big surprise! Heaven knows you've had enough practice. That's why you're a total pro. If there was an Emily Post of girlfriends, it would be you. You know how to act in every situation ... to make both you and your guy happy. What Kind Of Girlfriend Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Ironic considering I've never had any practice at this... I must be a natural! I was made to be attached!

But something's wrong somewhere.... Why am I still single? It's because:

You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Shy When a guy gets to know you, he finds a great catch Problem is... you're too shy for most guys to get to know. From meeting someone to dating, you usually have your guard up. And while you're just holding back, it makes you seem like you've got something to hide. Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

No wonder I'm still dokushin. Blardy kitanai.

And through this I realised: MY ONLY HOPE IS WITH YOU GUYS. HELP ME!!!!!!

You'll Find Love Through Friends Your friends get you better than any guy ever has And they're the perfect people to introduce you to your soulmate So look and act you're best with them, even if it's a girl's night out You never know who they might find for you! Where Will You Find Love? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

There you are. My entire love life summed up in 5 online quizzes. :p


As an aside, further evidence that I'm Aki Onna:

You Are Fall! Thoughtful Expressive Creative Poetic Smart What Season Are You? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Gong xi, gong xi, gong xi ni......

Most of you guys won't see this till Friday, when all the visiting's done, but:



Happy Chinese New Year! We all know there's only one thing on our minds during this time of year, and the chinese word says it all .... hehehe...

Hope everyone's CNY was peachy and prosperous! Today's the 2nd day and I'm stuck at home wondering what to do. :( The thing is that CNY is only fun when you have loads of relatives and friends to visit. If you come from a family like mine, when all the visiting can be done in the 1st day....... gee that doesn't leave much for you to do on the 2nd does it??

And you can't just jio people out to hang, cos almost all the shops will be closed. So the only places left to visit are.... The River Hongbao, Chinatown and the Istana. X( X( X(

Haiz...... looks like I'll be spending today reading and sketching..... Look out next week for a short comic on how my CNY was.....

Plus: Final Fantasy 12 promotional website is out! Check out the artwork........ *salivate upon keyboard* Be warned though, the entire darned website is in Japanese, so just go straight to the trailers and download the English one if you're interested. The main lead looks like someone from a past FF no?

And speaking of Japanese:

You Should Date A Japanese Guy! You're an interesting blend of traditonal and modern And a Japanese guy is likely to be on your wavelength Maybe you'll show your love by dying your hair the same color Or get married in a traditional white kimono! Which Foreign Guy Should You Date? Take This Quiz :-) Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Um, nandayo? Singapore naka ni doushite nihonjin o mitsukeru??? ( Ok I know the grammar is a bit wrong, but it's too early in the morning to be thinking about Japanese grammar...... )

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

*Shameless Self-Promotion Time*
I have a new GTS cartoon up. Mite kudasai, if you haven't seen it already. The link is to the right.

Some people are wondering why I don't make more of an impactful entry with GTS, like have her kick the door down or something on her first day. Er........ part of the reason has to do with the character herself.

*Blast to the past....*

GTS is supposed to be a reformed ex-gangster. From the first few strips, ( If you guys have seen them. If not, shame on you... hahaha ) you'll know that she became a teacher at her alma mater, where unfortunately for her, the principal remembers the holy terror that she used to be, and has other plans for her teaching career.

Now the thing is, if you're a gangster, why the hell would you ever go into a career like teaching? Thus, I planned her character such that she's a reformed one. As in, she used to be involved in gangster activities, until, for reasons yet unknown, she left the secret society world and became a productive ( and abused ) member of society.

For this reason... she is naturally reluctant to do anything that might endanger that career path or let known the fact of what she used to be.

Unfortunately for her, future events may cause her gangster nature to come out again...... ( That's a hook for you guys to start reading it or continue reading. )

by the way, may I once again emphasize that this cartoon is loosely, VERY LOOSELY based on the original GTS only. She is NOT an ex-gangster, neither does she act much like the character in my strip.

Ok, shameless self-promotion time over. Have a nice day everyone. :p

( I have to admit though, my favourite strip at the moment happens to be the one where the bucket is on GTS' head. For some reason, I just like the idea of dumping a bucket full of water onto an unsuspecting teacher's head. Hehehehe...... )

I had thought of other things to write, but for now........ writers' block. Bleah. See you guys later.

CHIX PART 5 - LIBERTY AT LAST!

From Ji-Hup's speech:

Glorious fowls of freedom, all of us, our day has arrived! The odious humans have finally relented beneath the ferocity of our attacks, and we have signed a landmark agreement!

On the day of the TV interview with Ms Cheryl, much publicity and sympathy was garnered for our cause, and public pressure was applied on the authorities to give us our freedom! With such overwhelming support, Siang Chun had no choice but to sign for our freedom, and now we are free!

This is a great day for chickens all around the world. We will serve as a shining example to coops worldwide, that chickens and humans may live freely and peacefully together.

But we will not stop here. Our duties to chickens worldwide are greater than our own desires. After we establish our colony, we will continue in educating and recruiting other chickens worldwide to our cause. We will let them know that their lives are not condemned to an eternity of crowded pens, fighting for feed, and certain slaughter. We will let them know that other chickens have tried for freedom, and succeeded. We will give them HOPE!

Glorious beaks, our day has come! Soon the trucks will come to take us to our brand new life in the colony. A new life of freedom and hope!

---

No mention in human newspapers, TV or radio about Ji-Hup....

---

One week later in classifieds....



THE END... ?

And it's GREAT to have the blog back. Hehehe.... A few things I learned from this are that:

1. I have a knack for telling lame, crappy stories.
2. It's damn irritating to have your blog taken over by rebellious chickens.

And DANG RIGHT on the 2nd point. So many times I felt like blogging about something, only to realise "Dang......" So I am NOT letting my blog get 'taken over' like that again. Bleah.

Anyway, most of you all would have seen from my MSN nick that I have a life decision to make by 1st March. Yea, I'm thinking whether to 'sign my soul', as a friend so subtly put it, to NIE n become a teacher for real.

The pros are obvious: I have a somewhat more stable career, I have more money.

The cons are also equally obvious: I have to wake up at ungodly hours each morning, I have to face a whole legion of brats, I have to serve a 2 year bond.

I have to admit though. The long term plan is not to teach as a teacher, but rather to use this as a kinda backup in the future. So that after a few years of teaching, I can hopefully go back to tuition in the future. The financial part will be much more lucrative after that, and if things don't work out, I can always go back to teaching.

Not to mention other friends are currently going into NIE at the moment. Hellbound being MOEBound this time. :p Turtle may be going in. Others like Jie-Ge are already in NTU.

Interestingly though, opinions differ widely among friends, but the way they differ is interesting.

The friends who are NOT in NIE and in the private sector tell me it's a good idea for me. ( Not counting those who tell me it's my own decision to make ) They point out the salary, and the stability, and in the words of Q: "tuition you can do anytime lah!"

The friends who ARE in NIE tell me: "My God, you're selling your SOUL TO THE DEVIL!!!" In other words, the ones who are actually teaching/studying in NIE are telling me to consider my choice very, very carefully before I decide to take up that decision and hence, the bond.

I'm also wary of making this kinda decision based on the financial part. I know of teachers who have gone in for the financial benefit, and who have come up with no benefit towards themselves, or the students they teach. And it's sad to hear of such cases, because after all, there are minors who are depending on you for their future. And if you don't care, who will?

At least 2 other people are rooting for me to start a small biz of some kind, and they point out that if I can do that, and if I succeed, it's not that hard to enter the corporate world. ( If I ever get despo enuff to do so... )

When your life points in so many forks in the path ahead, it's tempting to simply plonk your butt where you are at the moment and have a picnic. Which I am also tempted to do. It's a very nice view of the crossroads where I am at the moment. ( Discounting the fact that criminals and murderers used to have their carcasses caged in gibbets at crossroads )

One thing I do regret now was now standing up to my parents more when I was young. My father discouraged me TWICE when it came to my education decisions. Once when I thought of going poly to pursue a library studies course, and another when I wanted to do Arts in JC. Now with the retrospect of almost-adulthood, I regret the naivete I displayed when it came to my life. I became used to the idea of someone telling me what to do at what point of my life, and now when I have more of a mind of my own, I'm facing difficulty one, trying not to listen to my parents as much, and two, trying to make my own decisions.

If I had my current mindset now, when I was 16, or even 15, how different would my life have been?

Ah, no regrets. They don't work. No regrets now. They only hurt.

The past is nothing now, but a lesson to remember for the future.

Advice to any friends who may plan to have kids in the future: Cut the apron strings. When you are older and ( assumedly ) wiser, there is always the temptation to impart your earthly wisdom onto your kids.

This is good, but sometimes, together with that desire to impart, there is the desire to control.

Your kids may want to do something that is unknown to yourselves, or that you think is a really dumb idea to pursue. You as a parent will want to pull them from that path. Nay, you will consider it your Godbound duty as a parent to pull them off that path of seeming self-destruction you see.

When that happens, beware. You would not be imparting your wisdom to your kids, but rather enforcing it upon them. When they are young, you will be successful in this. When they are older, they will resist, and you will feel the need to bring the full force of your unhappiness upon them.

Eventually, your kids become not individuals of their own. They become a puppet by which you achieve your aims.

Of course now I can talk. I'm not a parent, with hardly any notion of the sacrifice involved in preparing another human being for this earth.

I can only hope that if the time ever comes, I will remember this.

And never do the same to my own kids.

Then again, at least dogs are easier to train and upkeep. :p

CHIX PART 4 - REVELATION AT LAST





In the Straits Times...

The chickens have taken over!

Staff from Channel News Asia were astounded to realise that the ones behind the egg-throwing pranks on police last week at Siang Chun Chicken Farm were actually the chickens from the farm.

The production crew had gone down early in the morning, to investigate a story about pranksters at the farm, who had thrown eggs at policemen last week. Staff had already made an appointment with a representative from the farm, named Ji-Hup, and on a live interview yesterday morning, Ji-Hup was revealed to be the head rooster of the farm.

As the interview went on, it transpired that Ji-Hup was protesting against what he called the "inhumane treatment of chickens" at the farm.

"We chickens want the same rights and privileges as any other living creature on earth. We want the freedom to live our lives peacefully, without fear of being slaughtered and laid to rest in a plate of fragrant rice." Said Ji-Hup during the live interview.

Thousands of calls have been made to CNA regarding the matter. Responses from the public have been varied as to the interview, with a great majority saying that CNA is mad. Our reporter got the following responses from the street.

"They all SIAO lah! I never know CNA so despo until can talk to chicken some more!" said Chin Tok Kok, security guard.

"At first I thought I had accidentally switched on to a puppet show on Kids Central, but then it turned out to be CNA! They look like such fools!" said Art Yi Fah Tee.

"Ah? What chickens? Got chicken on TV meh?" from Lim Jiu.

However most respondents agreed that CNA had been thoroughly made a fool of through the interview, and that they should now concentrate on providing kid's entertainment instead.

Miss Cheryl Fox, who conducted the interview, could not be reached for comment, and, according to her manager, would not be available for comment until "that damn chicken is safely on her plate of rice".

Unrelated news: Happy birthday to Yenn... :p May you live long and healthy with no more backaches, headaches, muscleaches, arm aches, leg aches, sore throats, loss of voice, dry coughs and other ailments.

CHIX PART 3 - THE MARTYRS

A BRAVE SACRIFICE

Young chicks, before being fully hatched, have been recruited into fighting the blue human soldiers who have attacked the farm.

The blue human soldiers came upon the farm early one morning, with clearly hostile intentions. They carried menacing batons by their sides, and came in a troop of 10 men. It is fortunate that our ever-vigilant watch managed to catch sight of them, and alert the armed forces to the walls.

However, the troops found out to their dismay that their numbers were outnumbered by the fierce human forces, who marched on no matter what was thrown at them. Finally, a brave request was made by Ah Dan, the young hatchlings' leader.


Ah Dan

"We, the young eggs, can no longer just sit back and watch our farm be decimated by these foul human soldiers! We must do our part, every single egg of us! No one is too young to help Ji-Hup in the Glorious Revolution!"

Thus said, a troop of hatchlings were quickly rounded up by Ah Dan, who then immediately organized them into kamikaze battalions. Each hatchling would line up to be catapulted into the human forces.

It is hoped that the sacrifice made by these young hatchlings would send the human forces back, and that their sacrifice would not be in vain.

"If he wants to fight, what can I do?" clucked a clearly upset mother, whose chick had just been catapulted, "The only thing I can hope is that he would be able to send the accursed humans back! It's all their fault!!" she screeched, in a flurry of feathers.

Meanwhile, our Glorious Beak Ji-Hup has praised the families of the martyrs for their sacrifices for the cause. "If there's anyone to blame, it's the accursed humans, for attacking us unprepared. Those devious men would stop at NOTHING in order to crack every single one of us! We must not be discouraged! As long as there is still ONE CHICKEN left in this farm, we must continue fighting for our rights and our FREEDOM!"

In the Straits Times......

Police going to Siang Chun Chicken Farm were surprised by eggs being flung at them from the farm.

The 3 officers were there to investigate the disappearance of the 2 MOE officers who had gone there last week to investigate possible cases of bird flu.

The opinion among the police is that the owner of the farm, Goh Siang Chun, is only too desperate to prevent himself being arrested for carrying bird-flu-infested chickens.

"It's funny that a grown adult would resort to such a juvenile action to keep people from his farm," Sgt Mata, who was among the policemen going to the farm, said, "We are not bothered by the eggs, but only fear for the safety of the 2 MOE officers."

The policemen have said that they will not be held back by the eggs, but will make contact with the farm by today.

Continued next week...... First human contact with the farm